sgHealth Archives

Wk 27-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes and thoughts from Week 27 of 2025.

Morning!
Of afternoon. Or evening. Or whatever time you read this at.

This week and the next week’s edition will be not as detailed as I would like them to be. I am on the road and may not be able to carve time to reflect on how I spent time. But an edition nonetheless. You know, progress > perfection. So, yay!

So, the H2 of 2025 is here.

This has been one of the most “interesting” years.

Interesting from multiple lenses.
Exciting.
Challenging.
Full of changes.
One of the rare years when I didnt do my regular yearly plans.
But then I went with the flow and learnt a lot.
I even saw a large change in my personality and decision making (you know, from people person to ideas person). I am sure there is more.

While I want to write about this year, today is not the time and here is not the place. Right now I want to publish this weekly note.

Oh, I am listening to this as I write. By Twin Strings and Raghav Chaitanya.

Ok, lets go!

💭 Highlights, reflections and notes from the past week

PS: As always, these are not in any order.

1/ Mann Ko Bhaya to Accha, Na Bhaya to Aur Bhi Achcha
I saw this first as a status message of Hareesh Sir. And then I read more about it and reaslised that this is by Harivansh Rai Bachchan. Salute to both the men.

Over time I have started to try and internalise this. And I think I am successful to some extent. And it has been one of the most liberating ways to live life. I no longer think about the good or the bad. I think of things without attaching any emotion. Guruji from Vipassana would be proud.

Of course I am yet to build that in to daily practise but I try on a day to day basis. And I am lot more about not attaching the emotion and outcome.

PS: Lol, Mr Garg. See point #9.

Oh, if Marcus was the kinds to write Hindi poetry, he would’ve probably written this.

Any how.

The point is, mann ko bhaya to accha, na bhaya to aur bhi achcha.

2/ From Chaand Taare to Kutumb
If you’d had met me a few years ago and asked me what my trip in life was, I would have said…

Saari daulat saari taaqat
Saari duniya par hukumat

If you live under the rock, this is from this song.
And if you dont know, in one of the shots in this track, SRK is actually passing by what would eventually become Mannat.

But lately, my want of taaqat and hukumat has changed to…

Sai itna dijiye, jaame kutumb samaay,
main bhookha naa rahoon, sadhu na bhookha jaaye

This is by Kabir.
And this has been the cornerstone of my life and decision making in a while.

This implies that rather than having all of it, I want enough to take care of myself and my village. This also indirectly implies that I will reduce my wants (not needs) and I will try and help my people to do more.

Oh, and this epiphany happened when I was meeting AP. More on our interaction in a bit (point #8). But this is what defines me now.

Make of it what you will.

3/ Its expensive to be poor
I read this somewhere once that its expensive to be poor and I have now seen this in action. If you are rich, you can “buy” time and use that to do whatever.

Here’s an example – say you have to travel between Mumbai and Delhi. The poor (aka middle class) will probably take the train and invest 15-18 hours for this. If you are better off, say me, you would take a 2-hour flight. You may spend another couple of hours to reach the airport and check-in and all that.

Just because you can afford the flight, you saved 13 hours.

Now, thats where the imagination of most people will end.

Indulge me a bit more.

Imagine you were uber-rich. I am talking SRK level rich. You could take a private plane and save another two hours.

And then if you are even more rich, say Ambani rich, you can question the very reason of travel and call whoever you want to, to, to your place and save all the time.

Now, extrapolate that for everything. Food you eat, healthcare you have access to, people you meet, education you get, opportunties that come to you, access to private deals and everything else.

Get the drift?

4/ Posture
I’ve realised that I need to fix my posture.

I have this lingering pain in my back all the time. I think I can blame it on sitting hunched over my laptop for like 42 years. I really want to fix this.

So, from today on, I will ensure that my back is ALWAYS stuck to a support structure. Or it is straight. As I write this, my lower back hurts and I have some giving me a backrub!

And as I edit this, my back is hurting but I am resting it against a backrest at a cafe that is blasting AC air on my face at 18 degrees. Wow!

5/ WSOP
WSOP is on as we speak.

I REALLY want to get the ME Bracelet some day. And I know that I dont have a lot of time left. A, age. And B, AI. I mean its probably a matter of time (unless already) before AI-enabled and coached people come in and with superhuman intelligence start to whoop asses of poker players.

In fact, it would be interesting to see KidPoker take on some AI bots. Has this been tried? Adding to my #todo

6/ Aadmi Ka Zeher by Srilal Shukla.
It’s after a while that I’ve read a whodunnit.

And I enjoyed it. Buy here.

Looking forward to a Jeffery Archer that I took from Ankit last week.

7/ How to write your autobiography
As part of learning more about active seniors (for Meru), I’ve been running tiny experiements.

This week I started with a small one – to help active seniors write their autobiographies.

Now, this is tough.

For a simple reason – I have not lived the experiences they have. Plus I know that I am not the most effective communicator. And I know that I have not helped other write an autobiography. Yes I have ghostwritten a few. Yes I’ve written a lot of books. But I have never “taught” anyone to write an autobiography.

So, lets see how that adds up.

But then, this a also new thing that am trying and I am very very excited about it! I’ve had one session so far. Let’s see how the next one goes.

8/ Akanksha Pandey (AP)
I know of AP for a while now.

I first met her to see if we can work together. At the time we couldnt make it work. But she is one of the smartest young people I know. And I had to stay in touch. And we did.

So, I met her in the last week. And I realised that AP’s great IRL as well! Here are some notes from our meeting…

I asked her to look at “couples” like [Bonnie + Clyde], [Shilpa Shetty +Raj Kundra], [Donna + Harvey] and others. The point? Large things get built when you are with someone for long and have shared madness for things.
The Godfather and his principles of living life – loyalty, frienship, winning people.
1000 True Fans by Kevin Kelly
Sex and the Cash Theory by Hugh
Kunal Shah’s Forbes interview

I know these links without nuance and context wont be of much use to people reading this but I wanted to share here. And I am sure there’s a lot more but these are what I recall from the top of my head (and from my notes). Maybe some day I will edit this and add more.

But meeting AP has to be one of the highlight of the week so far.

9/ Respect
This week, two of my fav kids crossed lines.

In two independent places.
At two different times.
Now this is a tough one to write and I will not.
But I want to catalog it here. More on my echochamber.
Also see point #1.

10/ Deepak Ravindran (DR)
Lemme start with a disclaimer. I dont know DR personally.

However, he’s recently started a new startup (Kirana Pro) and it’s been all over the news. But this post is not about that. This is about how he’s running his personal brand. You just can NOT miss it. The corner of the internet I spend time at, I get to see and hear a lot about him. A lot means, A LOT.

And naturally, like most people I am enamored by and want to get to know, I followed him across socials. And then I reached his WA group where he and his buddies chat with each other.

And, O.M.G.!

The group opened up another dimension in the brain. A lot of chatter there is techbros nerding over the new things. I am unable to understand a lot of things there but the rare things I can fathom, I love it. Each post there is a lesson (to a point that a lot of saves in the photos from this week are from his group). Each chatter there is about building (some are delusional as well, but well…).

Ok, the point is, I need to surround myself with more people like that.

Bas itna hi.

📷 Some Photos from the week gone by

Here are some photos from week 27.

The one I want to post on this blog is…

Made me think hard.
To a point that my head hurt.
Or may it did cos I was on a long flight. Lol.

I dont know what my myth is. But I know what my myth is not. And that’s a good place to start. I need to now work towards finding it.

🈺 The LARGE objective from the week gone by?

Book 2
No action.
I am thinking, should I drop this?

What do you think?
PLEASE let me know.

PS: Dropped 2025 Plan a few weeks ago.

☑️ What did I get done last week?

This is a one-line report on things I got done on various things that are important to me. I will only talk about things that I got done. Shipped. Not WIP.

I may not have a lot to add this week (and the next) but here is a report nonetheless.

At this point, the following things are important to me and these are IN ORDER.

Health
Meru
C4E
Brand SG
People (Family, Friends, Strangers, etc)
Book2
Shauk (Music, Films, Poker etc)

Health. No action. 0.

Meru. Same as last week. Tried to move the needle. But not as much as I would have wanted to. So, a 0.

C4E. No action. 0.
Next week on, I will remove this from this tracker.

Brand SG. No action. 0.

People. No action on this either. I’d say 0.

Book 2. Lol! -1

Shauk. Nothing. So, a 0.

So the overall score is -1 for this week, like it has been for the last 2 weeks.

Trends from the previous weeks: -1, -1, 3, 0, -4, 0, -4, -5, -5, -3, -2, -1
The max I can get is 7 in a week. Let’s see when I get to it.

📊 The tracker from the last week

This is the tracker for the last week.

All the amber is becuase I am on the road.

The week was better in terms of steps, sleep, food and recovery. But was terrible in terms of mood. Hope the coming week is better.

📖 Interesting Reads from the last week

No large inputs here. I did read a few things but I dont have the time to update those. I will get back to this section once am back on ground.

In the meantime, the best place to get these updates is via my TIL WA group. It is inspired by Sunanda’s fabulous book, TIL, and on this WhatsApp group, I aim to post VERY VERY VERY frequently. Like MULTIPLE times a day. About things personal (rants, overshares, thoughts etc), what I read, what I want to think about, what I need help on etc. Join here.

🧠 Reminders from last week

This section captures things that I want to not forget. I will copy paste these week on week and track updates. I will also add these to SG’s Office.

I will skip this section this and the next week. I will get back to this in the week of 14th July.

From previous weeks, here are things that I want to remember. And no, this may not be a comprehensive list. In categories…

Long term
- Professional pool / snooker / poker. No action.
Health
- Kitchen setup (incomplete)
- Gym membership (incomplete)
C4E things (Will stop tracking these)
- C4E Base
- Design
- Borderless agency
- Adding films
Shauk / Personal
- Use of money to buy time – doing this already.
- Better dressed – lol
- Find love – lol!
- Demand more from life
- Speak better!
Money (adding this on Jun 29)
- Passive income

In case you know me, lemme know if I have missed something.

🥡 So, one thing that defines the past week?

Uncool.

That’s the world I would use for the last week.
Wont talk too much here but it was not the coolest week. The good thing is that this happened after a long long time!

Oh and in the previous weeks, the one-word reviews have been… Disappeared, Experience, Grind, Busy for Nothing, Regular, Getting back to action, Slack, Busyness, Action, Survive, Looking Up, Survival, Taste, Community, Respect, Money, People.

—
Phew!
Lemme know what you think.
See you around.

Oh, and this too shall pass!

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (missed), 16, 17 (missed), 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 (missed), 23, 24 (missed), 25, 26

PPS: Please do point typos.
Grammarly is not working well and I don’t have energy to cut paste edit this in some other spell check thing.

PPPS: In case you see me being inconsistent in anything – work, writing, reviews etc, PLEASE do point out.

Wk 16-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes, thoughts and reflections from the 16th week of 2025.

Wrote this on my way from BKK to BOM. On board 6E1052.

This is the weekly review, after about 10 days. I missed the last week cos I was on the road. I could’ve written, to be honest, but I didn’t want to. Call it my laziness or procrastination but I did not write, even though I could have squeezed time to do so.

I was gonna miss this week too, cos, well, travelling again. But then I didn’t want to miss it two times in a row and thus here’s a note.

And no, this will not follow the regular review template that I had come to appreciate and build over the last few weeks. I can use that but I wanted to get back to freeform writing without any plan or thought and dump things!

So, over the last few days (since the 13th), I’ve read nothing, written nothing, saw no TED talks (not even Naval’s podcast). I worked very little (like 4 hours, maybe in the last week), slept little, and walked a bit (I averaged 10K steps (less than 13K planned). Oh, I ate a lot, and realised some things while I was at it. And I will talk about those here.

Let’s go!

A/ Am still a boy who loves boy games (like pool, poker etc.) and am not even good at it.

This epiphany happened to me while I was playing pool with VG at a posh-ish watering hole (The Sitting Room~~, or The Corner Cafe or something~~).

It was late in the evening and patrons were having their beers and chatting and all that. I was playing pool and out of nowhere, it dawned onto me that I love these boy games – you know, Poker, Pool, Counter Strike and all that. And no, I am not good at any of those. I am just about average on my best day and subpar on most. And yet I love those games. Am far from Dude Perfect but I would love to be one of those boys. Maybe I’d pick one of these things and go all-in on that? Maybe Poker? It has revenue opportunity too, if I become better. Just that I don’t have the talent or the mental discipline to play like a pro or even a pro-am. The only way I would do well would be deliberate practice and that will need money and time. So, at this time, maybe not. Maybe when I am “retired” 😀

But the epiphany was helpful to have. I knew it deep down but it was good to see its surface.

Oh, and no, I don’t like to watch sports. I am more interested in being an active participant. Maybe this is why folks invest in fantasy leagues?

B/ Coke

I had a LOT of Coke Zero.
Not Diet. Zero.
And I didnt like it. But I had a lot of it, in absence of anything else. I could have had coconut water but you can only have so much of it. And I didnt want to have beer or anything alcoholic.

BTW, this is worth mentioning because I hadn’t had a coke since Dec 2024. About 4 months. And I am the kind to shower in coke!

And here’s my resolve. I will not have soda while I am in India. Lol.

C/ I can’t take good photos.

Here are some that I would like to flaunt.

But I wish they were better. Maybe I need to hire someone to teach me how to take better photos. Or maybe I should find an editor and get that person to edit whatever I click.

Any thoughts on this?

D/ I need to work on my health.

I was at this market night with some 15 people and some kids. They took a photo of the group (I am not in it – I escaped ;)).

When I saw the photo, I realised that the only person closest to being healthy in that group was Vivek. And to be honest, he too needs some work around the edges. And it was scary and eye-opening.

Not that the eye hasn’t opened in the past. Not that I haven’t had these health epiphanies. But the thing is, it’s high time. I am 42 and I can see old age screwing up with me. Plus, my skin seems to be giving in and I need to cure it, lest it fucks with my already tiny self esteem. So that.

Oh, I spotted an incident in the flight and realised how inadequate we are to handle anything medical while in flight. So, I will also take a first aid course and carry the basics with me in the flight. #sgTodo

E/ The resolve to make more money is more stronger.

Enough said.

I need to do whatever I can to make money. Of course I want to stay within the boundaries of my ethos, values and principles.

I also need to work hard to get another passport. And I need to be able to have money in various countries. With Meru, this plan would probably get pushed by a few years but I have to find a way to live out of the country for a few years, if not for good.

Oh, its funny that what I’ve wanted from life has not changed since I was a child – money, health, experiences etc etc

F/ Was off Social Media

I was only on email, slack and linkedin. And that too as less as I could.

I was not on the news, twitter, instagram or anything else. I am glad to report that I was mostly successful at it.

To be honest, I did see some posts when some work required me to (but I was logged off). But that was that. I think that’s one #win from the trip.

Now that I am gonna be back on social, I will make the shift and use it only for work. Made the announcement already. And I will not have social apps on my primary phone. I will get a new phone where I will have these apps.

G/ Garmi

I just can’t do garmi.

I can stay hungry. I can walk a lot. I can tolerate any shit you throw at me. But I can’t do garmi. I know this is a first world problem and I saw almost everyone be ok with the weather – from kids to oldies to everyone. But I wasn’t able to think straight most of the time.

Made me think – how do I survive in Mumbai. The thing is, I don’t, on most days. Most times I am ranting about the heat and humidity. And then when I am not, I have spotted ACs and places that allow me AC. That reminds me, I need to talk to folks at Rentomojo to fix ACs at home. #todo

H/ Family thing

I had a few chats at home and they weren’t the best. And I can see my parents sinking. And I don’t know the solution. I will probably move them to Mumbai or I will move to Delhi. Let’s see.

It really sucks that you live all your life with your folks, see them as the source of strength that you take pride in, and then at a point in time, you are forced to accept that they will wither away.

I know I can’t do anything about it. I know this is acceptance that we need in life. I know this too shall pass.

Oh, coming to my life per se, I wouldn’t want to be seen as frail, unwell, drifting away to anyone.

To be honest, no one cares. And anyway I don’t care about anyone but Sonali or Myra. I can hide myself from them. To be honest, even Myra wouldn’t care for that matter. Kids are a malleable bunch and they move on fast. Maybe some kids from Village would stay around. Maybe I would want them to stay around. But, again with them, my past has taught me that folks from work tend to move on faster than you imagine. I don’t want to keep repeating sorry tales of my experience with people but it’s something that I need to think about for sure.

I/ Space

I’ve realised yet again that I need my personal space. I may not use it a lot but I love the idea of having space. I want to ensure that I have my bed, my room, my whatever at each place I go to. Something that only I have access to. Like a secret room or something 😀

I don’t know why or how this want has happened to me. I didn’t grow up in a place with a lot of space. I’ve never had a fancy house (apart from that 2-year window when my income to mehangai ratio was tenable and that short window when I lived in Vivek’s house). Plus, most times I’ve travelled, I have had to share rooms. Plus, lately, I’ve had to give a lot to keep people from the village happy and close.

So, I don’t know how or where this want and need for space happened to me.

Maybe worth meditating more over.

But the point is, I like space. And I can’t do well when things are crowded. So, this rules out public transport (apart from flights (I am writing this from a cramped seat of a plane), hostels and other such things.

J/ When I travel…

Continuing on the space thing, in this 7 day trip, I slept on 4 different beds. This means I have packed and unpacked at least 5 times.

And I hate this feeling of being a nomad when I am on a chutti. I am a nomad enough in real life and I want to not have the same feeling when I am traveling for leisure.

Ofc, while I am travelling for work, I know I have to do this. But when I am on a chutti, I want to take it easy and not run by the clocks of hotel check-in and check-out.

Next time on, I will ensure that either I am on a road trip where I am living the camper life or I stay put in one hotel / location.

I know this extreme thinking may not be ideal if I want to see the world (imagine going for a Euro Trip – covering 10 countries in 15 days). So, I am ok to miss on things. Fuck the FOMO! I will only do this pack-unpack-pack-move routine in rare conditions.

Ofc, some people enjoy this moving around like a sport. I don’t.

Ofc, this is a very first world issue. But I am now a first-world resident and I better live with the reality.

K/ People

I love people. And I love to help them. I was telling Farheen that my love language is your success. Your = people I love.

And I need to find a way to enable more people around me to do more. Maybe I should carve out time for specific things? Maybe break them into tiers and funnels. Lol. Will think more on this.

Oh, I also removed a lot of people from calendars and other places where I tend to save things at. This means that I am removing some people from my life.

L/ Bored of not working

I think on the 5th day of the trip (friday I think), I was at a point where I was bored out of my wits of not working. And I craved to get back to work.

I don’t know how people tend to retire. Maybe they reach a point where they want to do something meaningful without the hassle that comes along with work.

Would be useful to think about. Especially in wake of the Meru and H above.

M/ Flight snafu

I am on a 5 hour flight and I think I need to fly better airlines. I miss Vistara 🙁

I dont want to get into too many details but I was on a narrow body aircraft of a low-cost carrier (Indigo) for a 5-hour flight and it was hell. Passengers were rude, drunk, bickering over small things. Air Hostesses were inept at handling 180 people for 5 hours. Service was shit.

The person next to me complained of chest pain and he was visibly in distress. The air hostess gave her an apple and a paracetamol!

I mean, really?

What about talking to the captain to ground the aircraft? What about emergency landing? Someone’s life was at stake!

Anyhow. Not my monkey. Not my circus. And again, first-world problem ;p

N/ High-trust society

I’ve spoken about this a lot in the past that once you eliminate reasons for mistrust, life becomes better. This has been a guiding philosophy lately. And I saw that in action in Bangkok. And in the flight (the snafu I mentioned above).

Once you are in a high-trust place, you automatically do more. You automatically start to do more things.

Oh, same with AC. If you are in a place with AC, your productivity goes up. Lol.

I must build high-trust environments. And I know there would be some agents who would try to game these and it’s ok to build these despite this. You know, tax. But I will index on this. At least at C4E, we eliminated this challenge by overcommunicating and offering favorable payment terms to our collaborators (two sources of mistrust).

As I scale and do more, let’s see how I build this.

O/ Other things from my notes that I wanted to talk about

On the 15th of April, some years ago, I got myself sgElectra. Till a point in time, I celebrated the birthday with great fervor. But not anymore.
In continuation with J above, I have taken this note on my notes that “ 1/ Need to be less sore. There are many things to do as I look forward. The past is gone. And I need to move to the next”. On this, most times I am not sore, to be honest, but there are times when I feel I need to practise equanimity even more.
Parenting is not for me. I saw Shilpa in action and I realised that I am glad that I get to parent Myra and Mira from far!

I think this is it. I am sure there must be more notes. Maybe at a later time.

—

So, yeah.
This is it.

I am back to regular programming from tomorrow. And that means, more reviews.

Lemme know what you think.
See you around.

Oh, and this too shall pass 🙂

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (missed).

Wk 07-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes from the 7th week of 2025. I talk about C4E, Book2, Hospitals, AI and its impact on life Personal Brand, Economics and more.

Versova
Starting writing this at home.
Now at Starbucks.
There’s calls and meetings. So let’s see when and how I finish this.
Now at Jamjar at 1805.

The 7th week of the year is over!

Is this year flying past by like a rocket to the moon or what! I know that time seems to pass on faster as you age but this year has been something else. I don’t remember when the new year started and I don’t know when Feb is now ending in like 10 days!

I think this is also cos I’ve been on probably the steepest slope that I had to climb. And on this one, I am not merely climbing. I am sprinting. And no, I am not complaining. I am loving it!

Anyhow, here’s my update.

What I was supposed to do in the week gone by. And my report on the same.

A/ 2025 plan.
I don’t even want to talk about this. Open forever. It’s no longer on my radar. I don’t think about it.

But like I said last week, this is my ritual for like 1000 years. I want to not have done this. I will pick this up. If not next week, then in the week after that. And if not then, then some other day.

B/ Health
This was not on last week’s list. It was in one of the things that I wrote about this was NOT on the top.

I am adding this to the TOP from this week onward.

My ability to do large things and go beyond is indexed on my health. And I need to work on it.

A few days ago, I tried to shift my identity to that of a healthy person. So far it hasn’t helped. I need to do more action on it.

I will track these two as North Star things. I will remove the plan once I do it. But health will be my north star.

Moving on.

The tracker from the week that went by.

Here’s the tracker from the week gone by.

Here are the changes I made…

I have added a weekly average column to know how the week was (often it gets tough to see that in large context). Now I know that in this week, I spent more money than average. I walked less than average. I slept more. I was more in control of my emotions. Etc etc.
I added a color code to “good” behaviour. You can see the two days when I slept more than 7 hours. V will be proud of me 😀
I can’t stop eating Kachra!
If you see this, please tell me what you see that I am missing.

Photos from the week

Here are some photos from the week gone by.

There are a lot that I want to capture for posterity. I am uploading those here as well (with slight edits to ensure that this page is not messed; originals are on the link).

Oh, since I have a new phone, am taking a lot more photos.
Plus I am reading a lot and thus a lot of content to share.
Plus I went to the beach more times this week.

So that has helped.
Let’s see how it is the next week.

Interesting Reads

Here’s a list of things that I read / saw / consumed that left an impact on it. In some cases, I went and stirred up debate in my network.

Here’s a list. In no particular order.

If there’s one thing you read, PLEASE ensure it is this. In the essay, Prasad talks about life and careers in a post-AI world.
On the same thread, Sam Altman’s Three Observations.
It would be useful to re-read this piece by PG. On writing. And life in a post-AI world.
Prak shared this piece by Michael Dempsey. I read it. Took notes. Went down the Rabbit Hole on Schelling Point. Still unable to wrap my head around it. But will spend more learning. In fact I am increasing getting fascinated by Maths, Physics and Economics (see this channel). Let’s see where I end.
The Pygmalion Effect. Video (not a read per se)
Jung on Life After 40. This was very interesting, especically cos I am, well, over 40. And even more so cos I keep crying that I am old and all that.
No one cares. Read this.
Been reading about SEO and these two pieces were good to read. In one line, all the fears of folks about AI-written content are dumbfounded. Google does NOT punish (as of writing this, unless things change).

There are more links and things that I read. And there are more videos I see. I share those on this group. In case.

This brings me to highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

In no order…

A/ AirPods Pro Max
I had decided that starting 15 Feb if I could write for 30 days straight (and even AK had to write), I would get myself one. But none of us wrote. So, no AirPods for me. Important to document.

B/ Book2
I’ve started to work on it. And I am leaning on Claude for that. So far, I’ve “written” 5 chapters of approx 2500 words each. So that’s fast. At this pace, I should have a draft ready in like one month!

Here’s a WA group that you may join in case you want to help me read the early drafts and help me find direction.

C/ C4E lacks action and attention
I’ve not been able to focus on C4E in the last few days.

Thankfully we are in the middle of our downward cycle and thus there isn’t much to do. So we are ok. Plus the team is running whatever we have well.

However, we as a unit lack action-orientation. We take too much time for everything. We think a lot. We dont break enough things. We are not ghissoing our chappal enough.

Need to fix it. And add some sense of urgency. I will pick this up in the next week.

Three things worth noting here.

We wanted to price ourselves at a premium. We took action towards that we haven’t made any large progress.
Our new creds was to be ready last week. It is not. I will not ask for it or chase it. I will make one myself. Adding to my todo.
We need to reinvent our model. We haven’t done anything about it.

D/ Dave Matthews Band
I’ve recently been tripping onto music from Dave Matthews Band. I dont know but I love the sound they make!

You can start here.

E/ Claude and Cursor
I’ve been experimenting with the two things. One to write “code” and the other to “write” book2. And I love it.

I feel my mind has expanded. I can see it expand! I now realise that I can do a lot more. The power of my thoughts is a lot more, well, potent! The sky seems to be the limit. I will try and write more on this. But time seems to be a roadblock.

F/ I suck at negotiations
I knew this all along but I know this more now. That I suck at negotiations. I dont know if I want to learn that, at this age but it’s a good thing to know about. I will ensure that my kids learn the skill. And do whatever needs to be done – to make them great at it.

Oh, and as a matter of principle, I will not work on any negotiations from here on.

G/ Growing up
Had to go to the hospital. And I hated it. Each time I go to one, I hate it. I dont have an answer for my hatred or my aversion to those. But I hate them.

I know I will have to go to more of these in the next few years. It’s a deep fear. And I am trying to learn. I hope I am better. I hope I grow up!

H/ H2 of the day makes me sad and ineffectiveness
I’ve realised and I have known that I can’t do anything productive in the second half of the day. So this week on, I will move all my non-value-add things to the second half. The first half will only be to do deep work, independent of any conversations. If someone has to meet, it has to be in the second half. At least, for as long as I can control.

Even today, I did a lot till about 1 PM. Post that I went to the clubhouse and merely vegetated. Must be my sugar levels or something.

Irrespective. I will try and control this a lot more.

I/ IPO
Ajax are getting IPOd tomorrow.

They are a client and this is the first time I’ve seen a client get to IPO. Incredible learning experience. One more feather to the cap.

Now the lifegoal is to build a company that IPOs. Or may be not. I may not do well with the public scrutiny that public companies must endure. Let’s see.

K/ Angry and Sad with Kumbh
My parents were stuck in an overnight jam somewhere in UP. Or whatever state that Kumbh is happening at.

And I hate it.
And I dont know what to do about it.
I am angry and sad about it. I have enough money that they are not on public transport. But I dont have enough money to get them a charter plane and VIP darshan. I wish I had.

Plus, on top of it all, I dont understand how faith and religion becomes so important that they are willing to endure this. I am reading Man’s Search for Meaning I and get the why to live and all that but where is the why in this?

Thankfully their spirits are high.

L/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words on those.

For a work thing, I decided to submit to two elder gents. I will blindly do what they ask me to. I will offer to them the kind of adulation and submission I’ve wanted from my people. See this.
Managed 45 days of daily journal. Now will aim to do 365.
Deleted Insta yet again from my phone. I will put that on sinphone and see how much time I invest on it.
Became a fan of Nicobar! But only when they are on sale. And I am ok to wear older fashion. The only thing latest I want is the iPhone 😀
I am increasingly getting interested in Economics. Here is one of the creators that I absolutely am a fan of!
I need to check for ADHD. I dont know if there are online tests. But I need to know.
I have started to work on my personal brand all over again. This time on video. Have reached out to AD for help (now that he’s doing this professionally). Let’s see where I reach.

Ok that.
Phew

One large takeaway from the week?

In one word?
Respect.
More about it on my Roam. Or somewhere in the deep confines of my mind 😀

For context, last week, it was Money. The week before that it was People.

Ok!
This is it!
Lemme know what you think.
Gotta go.
See you around.

Oh, here are the previous editions: Wk 01, Wk 02, Wk 03, 04, 05, 06

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes.

The Chest Discomfort Drama

So the last few days I have had some weird pain in my chest on the left side. Now this could be something to do with the heart, or lungs, or muscles, or even gas, if nothing else. And since I’ve been reading a lot about health, sleep, longevity and all that, I am of course concerned. And unlike the Hernia that I have come to accept as a feature of my body and live with (I bear the pain most of the day), I am worried about this one.

Before you get alarmed, I am going for a check-up. And apart from the pain in my chest and shoulders, I don’t have any other symptoms (I have none of these that are typical of cardiac unrest – shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, nausea, anxiety, indigestion etc). And I have been sleeping well, at least my whoop data tells me that. In my books, well means 6+ hours of restful sleep on average in the last few days.

So, any search on the internet about anything to do with discomfort in the chest will convince you that you are getting a heart attack and you are dying from it. And even if it’s a false alarm, I don’t want to die right now. I mean I am not afraid per se of death. I know it’s an inevitable destination and in the words of Steve, “Death is very likely the single best invention of Life”. Again in his words, “It clears out the old to make way for the new.” And I’ve seen this in action. However, I have a lot to do at this point. All this “lot to do” may be subjective, meaningless etc etc in the large scheme of things (I can be a nihilist at times) but to me, at this point in time in life, they matter. And I am willing to kill for those. Well, at least live for those. Plus, I run a village right now and the village may not be able to survive without me. I know I am giving myself too much importance but that is where it is. It may not even survive with me at the helm but at least I would’ve tried and I wouldn’t be an armchair activist.

So, while my aversion to organised medical institutions is well-known, I’ve got myself an expensive appointment with a doctor who looks fit, at least from his photos (Thanks Naval for the tip). And I am hoping that he will be unlike other doctors. If this one doesn’t turn out to be good, I’ll chat with someone else. And then maybe one more. And then hang my boots. Oh, I do have Ashi, a friend and a doctor who I trust.

The thing is, as I age, I need to find someone in the medical fraternity to look for me. I don’t trust the way doctors work – pumping you with medicines. I’d rather trust a person like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk to help me navigate my health. They would of course be capitalist as fuck and make a lot of money off me but I trust them to do the right thing for the customer.

Anyhow, I digressed.
Coming back to the point.
So I have this random pain.
Unlike I’ve ever had.

And it’s been persistent for a few days and has increased in frequency and intensity and area.

And I need to thus figure out what’s wrong with me. And since I don’t know what’s wrong, I have speculated on the worst-case scenario and on the best-case scenario. And while I did that, I tried to detach myself from my thoughts and I tried to observe myself with a third-party, equanimous lens.

And here’s what I found.

A/ I saw a middle-aged man relook at his will.

B/ I saw a man scared of the inevitable.
I could see that one night the man was afraid to even fall asleep. What if he didn’t wake up the next morning? In a flurry of texts, I shared a lot of hidden fears on Twitter. Go find what night was that, if you are curious.

C/ I saw a man in denial about how he lives his life.
You know, as a modern-day hippie, refusing to fit in.

I saw this man circle through the stages of grief. I learnt from AD and ND that when in adversity, you could rather be a problem-solver and go over these stages fast. Some people never get over it. AD got over his latest grief in like 1 hour. ND takes a day. This man took 4 days.

In his case, there was more confusion than anything else. But now he’s accepted it and is in a solution mode.

D/ I saw a lazy man who would make all the excuses he could to avoid going to a doctor. One time he made an online appointment and waited for the doctor to confirm. Then he made an appointment and cancelled. And today, as he writes this, he will finally go! Unless the laziness gets the better of him during the day.

E/ I also saw the man go over his latest health reports (last check-up in Mar 2024) and try to make sense of those. Till at least 30th of Mar 2024, apart from some inflammations and a high HbA1c, most markers were in place. Even the LDL and HDL were in permissible limits. So, I am not sure if you can fuck your heart health so bad in 5 months. See the confusion? And if I have, I have. And we shall find a solution.

F/ At no point I had an existential crisis per se.
I was worried and all that but I didn’t really lose sleep. I think I am blessed in that department. I sleep well. At least my whoop tells me that. So that’s one saving grace. As I write this, the previous night’s data says that I got 6+ hours of sleep (which I think is good for someone like me) and out of that I had 4+ hours of restorative sleep!

Post edit – I was indeed worried one night. I did mention it in point B.

Post edit 2 – as I edit this, I haven’t slept well last night.

G/ The man is at jo hoga dekha jaaega stage and not worried.
He took a pragmatic look at things and decided that in the case of the inevitable, he would put affairs in order (means find money for ageing parents, close things at work, disappear from the internet) and accept the inevitable. And accept that some mysteries in life can never be solved.

H/ Finally, I saw an old man, who refuses to grow up and act his age.

Ok, the man’s taking a break and is on his way to see a doctor. In a grand ceremony of sorts, he handed his computer (essentially his life’s possessions) to his trustworthy lieutenant and walked into the hospital.

POST VISIT

The man saw a doctor.
He shared his lifestyle, data, history etc.
He chose the heart doctor that looked the fittest.
He got some consultation.
He got his BP done twice (once it was 150-90 and then it was 130-90).
He got an ECG done.
He even tried to sell an health-tech idea to the doc 😀

The eventual recommendation from the doc was that there’s nothing to worry about and to rule out things, we can do more tests. So the man is in the process of doing those tests.

Oh, the doctor also mentioned that this could also be a result of anxiety. And here was this man – thinking that all was well with him in the head department!

So anyhow.
Very anti-climatic.
Much ado about nothing.
Or maybe there is something to worry about.
Time shall tell.

But in all, this was a very interesting, harrowing last 14 days.
I hope I sleep well tonight.
Post-edit – I did not.
Oh, by the way, I am gonna call this my rebirth and I am gonna take care of my village and my people.
Come on, universe.

Oh, in case someone wants to see my ECG report, lemme know.

Untitled – 31 May 2024

I caught some fever last Friday.
Been a week since.
I think I have recovered now.
But here are some recollections from the time I was perpetually in my bed. And some from after I recovered. These are not recollections per se – rather pieces that I want to capture somewhere.

Let’s go…

1/ You lose weight to start with. I lost 3 KGs.

2/ In the delirium induced by fever, you remember things that you never knew you knew. Like I remembered this young girl – she used to be an intern at VISCOMM and now she’s a kick-ass, award-winning screenwriter.

I remembered a friend-ish person who passed away a few weeks ago.

I had vivid memories of spending time with my ex-girlfriend at her house.

I am working on an event in Phuket next week and I was thinking about it a lot. Update – I am no longer doing this 🙁

3/ For some reason the taste buds die. Coffee starts to taste different. The thing that typically tickles your taste buds the most (Pani Puri) fails to wake up any emotions. Even the inhaler smells different. I can empathise with people like AK who have long-COVID.

4/ Whoop showed me that my recovery was like 1%. Then it became 3%. Then it climbed up to some 40. And that’s as normal as things could get. Oh, day before, I hit 100% on sleep for the first time I think. I slept for more than 8 hours. I dont think I’ve ever needed this much sleep but since Whoop says so and I’ve now managed to hit a 100% mark, I need to rethink this.

5/ I finally downloaded Bumble. Not my ideal choice – the anxiety and sadness of not getting matches is real. But I dont know what else to do. I remain too much of an introvert to walk up to women that I find interesting. What else can I do?

6/ Had to take up some working capital loan. I am really not cool about this taking loan, getting paid, paying back loan situation. Also, see #15.

7/ Walked to the C4E Sunset Club Point yesterday after the sunset. Was better – heat was less. The water was up to the ramp. Sat on top of the rocks. Realised that the view is better from up there. While there is something in touching the sand letting the water lap up to you, the view and the winds and comfort to the backside is better on top.

8/ Decided today in the morning that I will start reading again.

Read about 20 pages of Courage To Be Disliked. I will continue to choose self-help or biographies. No more books with lessons and all that. No more fiction for sure.

9/ Thanks to Rachna, we managed to submit the screenplay to SWA Pitchfest. To me, this is a big one. This is the first time a completed screenplay has my name to it! Now to go and shop it around and see if we can get someone to want to make a film about Aakanksha.

10/ Realised that 2 months of 2024-25 are over and we at C4E haven’t moved our backside on our plans to dominate the world.

11/ Grateful that I dont have to step out in the sun this treacherous heat. I know tons of folks are out and about and are working and all that. I respect them. I really am inspired by their efforts. I wish I could be like them. But I am not. So that.

12/ Last two-three days I have started to buy a muskmelon when I go back home from Starbucks. I cut it the best I can and then I eat it. I dont know if it’s any good for me but I do like the idea of doing something with my hand. No, I cant become a cook. No, I dont want to do fancy salads. This much – tiny bit – knife through the melon is all that I want to do.

Thing is, I’ve never had any taste for fruits but I am trying to cut on fried, packaged food and the best solution is to lean onto fruits. So that.

13/ I feel like snacking today. Have had some sugary cookies already. And I am sipping onto fizzy, sugarly, synthetic ginger-ale and coffee. If only I could come to a Starbucks everyday, not order anything and sit here to work, ISTG, I could change the world!

Let’s see what I end up ordering.

14/ I paid all bills in one shot yesterday – electricity, internet, mobile phone, GAS, cabs etc etc. I felt like an adult. But wait. haven’t I been an adult for like 22 years now?

15/ I also paid all my people. Love that feeling. I dont think I will ever want a CA to do that. Even if a CA does it, I will want to press the button. The feeling of paying people is unparalleled. Also, see #6.

16/ Grammarly has screwed their free product in want of getting more people to pay. Way too many notifications and pop-ups while writing.

Ok, enough.

More over the next few days!

The Guts of Steel (or not)

The heroics and sobering of a man who overestimates his ability with his health.

Hola!

So, growing up in Delhi and binging onto street food and eating all sorts of things made me believe that I have guts of steel. I could eat anything, made with any kind of oil, laced with sweaty palms and the dust and grime and all that that is all around us. And yet continue functioning like I am Rajnikant or Flash or any of those superheroes that are quick on their feet and all that. After all, that is what I am, at least in my head.

I would flaunt these heroics and guts and often participate in competitions around eating gol gappas, vada pao, pao bhaji and dunno what all. In fact, even alcohol. No, I don’t drink per se but on the VERY rare occasions I drink, I can outdrink any fish in the sea and yet walk in a straight line. Really. Try me sometime. Or not.

But, you know life has a way of humbling you and showing that you are an insignificant speck on a pale blue dot and you are meaningless in large cosmic things.

That happened.

Read on…

So, like most large forest fires that start with a tiny spark that often would die without disturbing anything of importance. But once in a while, these sparks help raging fires that engulf civilizations!

In my case, it started as dizziness. I thought my eyesight was finally giving in. Then I got the first burp. I could sense bile building up in my food pipe. And I knew I was going to puke. I know my body like that. Oh, I was on a call with some new colleagues while that was happening. Funnily one of the people on that call was a doctor and we were working on a pharma client.

Anyway coming back. I was on a call. And I knew I was gonna puke. And since this was a new team, I had to maintain my reputation as a sakht man. But then life had the better of me. And I had to puke. So I excused myself. Ran to the loo and spilled some. I thought it was gonna be ok after that. I came back, and finished the call.

And as soon as I hung up, I had to run to the loo cos there was more. And this time, I realised how much my stomach could hold. It all came out. And then for the next 2 hours, I puked and pooped.

Each trip to the loo became tougher. To the point that I could no longer walk the 2 feet distance from my bed to the loo. I walked with some support. I leaned on the doors. I got onto all fours. And then I crawled.

One time I couldn’t even build the courage to crawl and reach in time. Finally, I decided to lie down on the floor of the bathroom itself. I will let you fill in the other details. You do not want to know. I will make detailed notes in my Roam lest I forget.

I am grateful that no one saw me like that. As someone who’s kept his spine straight through thick and thin, this would have been the lowest point of my life. I remember the look on the faces of my parents when I got my nasal polyp operated on. I remember how C4E Junta looked at me when I broke my tooth at a picnic. I had decided that I would never let anyone ever see me in pain. I’ll walk in the rain if I have to cry. I found out that I may not command rain at a whim but I can sit under a shower for sure. Thank God for that shower!

So while I was dying (no the thought did not cross my mind – I knew this was a temporary thing and I will be ok; unrelated, there was a time when I was in Bangalore and I thought I would die. I called Poo and told her to take care of my people once am gone), I had the presence to tell people that they shouldn’t wait on me. I texted a couple of colleagues that I had to work with.

I then switched off my phone.
And slept.
At least tried to.

The bed was way too comfortable, the floor too cold. I couldn’t find a way to rest my head – neither on the pillow nor on the towel that I had rolled up. There were way too many mosquitos. Somehow I drifted to sleep. I remember waking up once to go puke again. And then finally finding it comforting to sleep on the mattress.

All this while, I did not think of work at all. In fact, the work be damned. I have some really fabulous people to work with and they managed everything. Phew.

I woke up late, I dont recall the time. I read online what to eat. Ordered a Gatorade, and some electrolytes. Called for boiled rice and toast. Ate the soggiest toast ever and yet it was yummy. Ate the blandest rice and each grain was full of taste. Slept again. Tried to. Was tough. But I slept.

I woke up the next morning (Saturday), showered, had idli and more toast. The idli was how and what you expect an idli to be. The toast was ok. Went to Starbucks, had half a green tea, some yoghurt (which was really bad tbh; Starbucks need to up their game), some bananas (read about BRAT diet) and then off to the airport. I had curd rice, hummus, pasta and a Diet Coke at the lounge. There, I spotted Subhash Ghai – each time I see a star from the yesteryears, I feel sad about what age does to them. Ghai had to be chaperoned by some flunky who was more keen on filing his plate with pasta. And I will ensure that I dont have a flunky for clutches when my time comes.

So, here I am, now, on 8D, typing things away. Feeling ok. I am grateful that I dont fall too sick for too long. I dunno why – my lifestyle is not the best. Irrespective. I am committed to doing better. I want to rebuild my gut. I want to gnaw at Steel and laugh while I do that. I want to bombard the gut flora and fauna with all sorts of food and fluids and everything in between. Maybe yoga would help. Maybe it won’t. Let’s see.

I am on the road for the next few days. Once am back in Bom on Thursday, I promise will not set a foot out till the Dubai trip (mid of March). I will have about 20 days that I will strictly do Keto! No cheats. No tiny carbs. I will find a way to resist temptation. I will also do yoga. As we speak, a yoga mat has been ordered.

In fact, I’ve been thinking about health for a long long time. If the incident of Friday is not a wake-up call, nothing would be. And this came in quick succession of my uncle’s passing. Since Friday (and the episode), I have only eaten kachra and I vow to never eat shit again. The body is the damn temple bro. I dont sit in a place that is not nice. I returned the in-flight meal cos the air hostess did not serve it with politeness. If I can skip a meal cos it hurts my ego, can I choose what I eat for my health?

So that.

Anyhow. My throat is still sore 48 hours after the incident. The only good part was that I finally weighed less than 91 KGs after I had emptied my gut into a gutter. I just hope it’s not something large. Like I said in the beginning, I want my heroics to never end and continue to operate like a superhero! More on these later. For the time being, over and out!