sgHealth Archives

Wk 07-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes from the 7th week of 2025. I talk about C4E, Book2, Hospitals, AI and its impact on life Personal Brand, Economics and more.

Versova
Starting writing this at home.
Now at Starbucks.
There’s calls and meetings. So let’s see when and how I finish this.
Now at Jamjar at 1805.

The 7th week of the year is over!

Is this year flying past by like a rocket to the moon or what! I know that time seems to pass on faster as you age but this year has been something else. I don’t remember when the new year started and I don’t know when Feb is now ending in like 10 days!

I think this is also cos I’ve been on probably the steepest slope that I had to climb. And on this one, I am not merely climbing. I am sprinting. And no, I am not complaining. I am loving it!

Anyhow, here’s my update.

What I was supposed to do in the week gone by. And my report on the same.

A/ 2025 plan.
I don’t even want to talk about this. Open forever. It’s no longer on my radar. I don’t think about it.

But like I said last week, this is my ritual for like 1000 years. I want to not have done this. I will pick this up. If not next week, then in the week after that. And if not then, then some other day.

B/ Health
This was not on last week’s list. It was in one of the things that I wrote about this was NOT on the top.

I am adding this to the TOP from this week onward.

My ability to do large things and go beyond is indexed on my health. And I need to work on it.

A few days ago, I tried to shift my identity to that of a healthy person. So far it hasn’t helped. I need to do more action on it.

I will track these two as North Star things. I will remove the plan once I do it. But health will be my north star.

Moving on.

The tracker from the week that went by.

Here’s the tracker from the week gone by.

Here are the changes I made…

I have added a weekly average column to know how the week was (often it gets tough to see that in large context). Now I know that in this week, I spent more money than average. I walked less than average. I slept more. I was more in control of my emotions. Etc etc.
I added a color code to “good” behaviour. You can see the two days when I slept more than 7 hours. V will be proud of me 😀
I can’t stop eating Kachra!
If you see this, please tell me what you see that I am missing.

Photos from the week

Here are some photos from the week gone by.

There are a lot that I want to capture for posterity. I am uploading those here as well (with slight edits to ensure that this page is not messed; originals are on the link).

Oh, since I have a new phone, am taking a lot more photos.
Plus I am reading a lot and thus a lot of content to share.
Plus I went to the beach more times this week.

So that has helped.
Let’s see how it is the next week.

Interesting Reads

Here’s a list of things that I read / saw / consumed that left an impact on it. In some cases, I went and stirred up debate in my network.

Here’s a list. In no particular order.

If there’s one thing you read, PLEASE ensure it is this. In the essay, Prasad talks about life and careers in a post-AI world.
On the same thread, Sam Altman’s Three Observations.
It would be useful to re-read this piece by PG. On writing. And life in a post-AI world.
Prak shared this piece by Michael Dempsey. I read it. Took notes. Went down the Rabbit Hole on Schelling Point. Still unable to wrap my head around it. But will spend more learning. In fact I am increasing getting fascinated by Maths, Physics and Economics (see this channel). Let’s see where I end.
The Pygmalion Effect. Video (not a read per se)
Jung on Life After 40. This was very interesting, especically cos I am, well, over 40. And even more so cos I keep crying that I am old and all that.
No one cares. Read this.
Been reading about SEO and these two pieces were good to read. In one line, all the fears of folks about AI-written content are dumbfounded. Google does NOT punish (as of writing this, unless things change).

There are more links and things that I read. And there are more videos I see. I share those on this group. In case.

This brings me to highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

In no order…

A/ AirPods Pro Max
I had decided that starting 15 Feb if I could write for 30 days straight (and even AK had to write), I would get myself one. But none of us wrote. So, no AirPods for me. Important to document.

B/ Book2
I’ve started to work on it. And I am leaning on Claude for that. So far, I’ve “written” 5 chapters of approx 2500 words each. So that’s fast. At this pace, I should have a draft ready in like one month!

Here’s a WA group that you may join in case you want to help me read the early drafts and help me find direction.

C/ C4E lacks action and attention
I’ve not been able to focus on C4E in the last few days.

Thankfully we are in the middle of our downward cycle and thus there isn’t much to do. So we are ok. Plus the team is running whatever we have well.

However, we as a unit lack action-orientation. We take too much time for everything. We think a lot. We dont break enough things. We are not ghissoing our chappal enough.

Need to fix it. And add some sense of urgency. I will pick this up in the next week.

Three things worth noting here.

We wanted to price ourselves at a premium. We took action towards that we haven’t made any large progress.
Our new creds was to be ready last week. It is not. I will not ask for it or chase it. I will make one myself. Adding to my todo.
We need to reinvent our model. We haven’t done anything about it.

D/ Dave Matthews Band
I’ve recently been tripping onto music from Dave Matthews Band. I dont know but I love the sound they make!

You can start here.

E/ Claude and Cursor
I’ve been experimenting with the two things. One to write “code” and the other to “write” book2. And I love it.

I feel my mind has expanded. I can see it expand! I now realise that I can do a lot more. The power of my thoughts is a lot more, well, potent! The sky seems to be the limit. I will try and write more on this. But time seems to be a roadblock.

F/ I suck at negotiations
I knew this all along but I know this more now. That I suck at negotiations. I dont know if I want to learn that, at this age but it’s a good thing to know about. I will ensure that my kids learn the skill. And do whatever needs to be done – to make them great at it.

Oh, and as a matter of principle, I will not work on any negotiations from here on.

G/ Growing up
Had to go to the hospital. And I hated it. Each time I go to one, I hate it. I dont have an answer for my hatred or my aversion to those. But I hate them.

I know I will have to go to more of these in the next few years. It’s a deep fear. And I am trying to learn. I hope I am better. I hope I grow up!

H/ H2 of the day makes me sad and ineffectiveness
I’ve realised and I have known that I can’t do anything productive in the second half of the day. So this week on, I will move all my non-value-add things to the second half. The first half will only be to do deep work, independent of any conversations. If someone has to meet, it has to be in the second half. At least, for as long as I can control.

Even today, I did a lot till about 1 PM. Post that I went to the clubhouse and merely vegetated. Must be my sugar levels or something.

Irrespective. I will try and control this a lot more.

I/ IPO
Ajax are getting IPOd tomorrow.

They are a client and this is the first time I’ve seen a client get to IPO. Incredible learning experience. One more feather to the cap.

Now the lifegoal is to build a company that IPOs. Or may be not. I may not do well with the public scrutiny that public companies must endure. Let’s see.

K/ Angry and Sad with Kumbh
My parents were stuck in an overnight jam somewhere in UP. Or whatever state that Kumbh is happening at.

And I hate it.
And I dont know what to do about it.
I am angry and sad about it. I have enough money that they are not on public transport. But I dont have enough money to get them a charter plane and VIP darshan. I wish I had.

Plus, on top of it all, I dont understand how faith and religion becomes so important that they are willing to endure this. I am reading Man’s Search for Meaning I and get the why to live and all that but where is the why in this?

Thankfully their spirits are high.

L/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words on those.

For a work thing, I decided to submit to two elder gents. I will blindly do what they ask me to. I will offer to them the kind of adulation and submission I’ve wanted from my people. See this.
Managed 45 days of daily journal. Now will aim to do 365.
Deleted Insta yet again from my phone. I will put that on sinphone and see how much time I invest on it.
Became a fan of Nicobar! But only when they are on sale. And I am ok to wear older fashion. The only thing latest I want is the iPhone 😀
I am increasingly getting interested in Economics. Here is one of the creators that I absolutely am a fan of!
I need to check for ADHD. I dont know if there are online tests. But I need to know.
I have started to work on my personal brand all over again. This time on video. Have reached out to AD for help (now that he’s doing this professionally). Let’s see where I reach.

Ok that.
Phew

One large takeaway from the week?

In one word?
Respect.
More about it on my Roam. Or somewhere in the deep confines of my mind 😀

For context, last week, it was Money. The week before that it was People.

Ok!
This is it!
Lemme know what you think.
Gotta go.
See you around.

Oh, here are the previous editions: Wk 01, Wk 02, Wk 03, 04, 05, 06

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes.

The Chest Discomfort Drama

So the last few days I have had some weird pain in my chest on the left side. Now this could be something to do with the heart, or lungs, or muscles, or even gas, if nothing else. And since I’ve been reading a lot about health, sleep, longevity and all that, I am of course concerned. And unlike the Hernia that I have come to accept as a feature of my body and live with (I bear the pain most of the day), I am worried about this one.

Before you get alarmed, I am going for a check-up. And apart from the pain in my chest and shoulders, I don’t have any other symptoms (I have none of these that are typical of cardiac unrest – shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, nausea, anxiety, indigestion etc). And I have been sleeping well, at least my whoop data tells me that. In my books, well means 6+ hours of restful sleep on average in the last few days.

So, any search on the internet about anything to do with discomfort in the chest will convince you that you are getting a heart attack and you are dying from it. And even if it’s a false alarm, I don’t want to die right now. I mean I am not afraid per se of death. I know it’s an inevitable destination and in the words of Steve, “Death is very likely the single best invention of Life”. Again in his words, “It clears out the old to make way for the new.” And I’ve seen this in action. However, I have a lot to do at this point. All this “lot to do” may be subjective, meaningless etc etc in the large scheme of things (I can be a nihilist at times) but to me, at this point in time in life, they matter. And I am willing to kill for those. Well, at least live for those. Plus, I run a village right now and the village may not be able to survive without me. I know I am giving myself too much importance but that is where it is. It may not even survive with me at the helm but at least I would’ve tried and I wouldn’t be an armchair activist.

So, while my aversion to organised medical institutions is well-known, I’ve got myself an expensive appointment with a doctor who looks fit, at least from his photos (Thanks Naval for the tip). And I am hoping that he will be unlike other doctors. If this one doesn’t turn out to be good, I’ll chat with someone else. And then maybe one more. And then hang my boots. Oh, I do have Ashi, a friend and a doctor who I trust.

The thing is, as I age, I need to find someone in the medical fraternity to look for me. I don’t trust the way doctors work – pumping you with medicines. I’d rather trust a person like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk to help me navigate my health. They would of course be capitalist as fuck and make a lot of money off me but I trust them to do the right thing for the customer.

Anyhow, I digressed.
Coming back to the point.
So I have this random pain.
Unlike I’ve ever had.

And it’s been persistent for a few days and has increased in frequency and intensity and area.

And I need to thus figure out what’s wrong with me. And since I don’t know what’s wrong, I have speculated on the worst-case scenario and on the best-case scenario. And while I did that, I tried to detach myself from my thoughts and I tried to observe myself with a third-party, equanimous lens.

And here’s what I found.

A/ I saw a middle-aged man relook at his will.

B/ I saw a man scared of the inevitable.
I could see that one night the man was afraid to even fall asleep. What if he didn’t wake up the next morning? In a flurry of texts, I shared a lot of hidden fears on Twitter. Go find what night was that, if you are curious.

C/ I saw a man in denial about how he lives his life.
You know, as a modern-day hippie, refusing to fit in.

I saw this man circle through the stages of grief. I learnt from AD and ND that when in adversity, you could rather be a problem-solver and go over these stages fast. Some people never get over it. AD got over his latest grief in like 1 hour. ND takes a day. This man took 4 days.

In his case, there was more confusion than anything else. But now he’s accepted it and is in a solution mode.

D/ I saw a lazy man who would make all the excuses he could to avoid going to a doctor. One time he made an online appointment and waited for the doctor to confirm. Then he made an appointment and cancelled. And today, as he writes this, he will finally go! Unless the laziness gets the better of him during the day.

E/ I also saw the man go over his latest health reports (last check-up in Mar 2024) and try to make sense of those. Till at least 30th of Mar 2024, apart from some inflammations and a high HbA1c, most markers were in place. Even the LDL and HDL were in permissible limits. So, I am not sure if you can fuck your heart health so bad in 5 months. See the confusion? And if I have, I have. And we shall find a solution.

F/ At no point I had an existential crisis per se.
I was worried and all that but I didn’t really lose sleep. I think I am blessed in that department. I sleep well. At least my whoop tells me that. So that’s one saving grace. As I write this, the previous night’s data says that I got 6+ hours of sleep (which I think is good for someone like me) and out of that I had 4+ hours of restorative sleep!

Post edit – I was indeed worried one night. I did mention it in point B.

Post edit 2 – as I edit this, I haven’t slept well last night.

G/ The man is at jo hoga dekha jaaega stage and not worried.
He took a pragmatic look at things and decided that in the case of the inevitable, he would put affairs in order (means find money for ageing parents, close things at work, disappear from the internet) and accept the inevitable. And accept that some mysteries in life can never be solved.

H/ Finally, I saw an old man, who refuses to grow up and act his age.

Ok, the man’s taking a break and is on his way to see a doctor. In a grand ceremony of sorts, he handed his computer (essentially his life’s possessions) to his trustworthy lieutenant and walked into the hospital.

POST VISIT

The man saw a doctor.
He shared his lifestyle, data, history etc.
He chose the heart doctor that looked the fittest.
He got some consultation.
He got his BP done twice (once it was 150-90 and then it was 130-90).
He got an ECG done.
He even tried to sell an health-tech idea to the doc 😀

The eventual recommendation from the doc was that there’s nothing to worry about and to rule out things, we can do more tests. So the man is in the process of doing those tests.

Oh, the doctor also mentioned that this could also be a result of anxiety. And here was this man – thinking that all was well with him in the head department!

So anyhow.
Very anti-climatic.
Much ado about nothing.
Or maybe there is something to worry about.
Time shall tell.

But in all, this was a very interesting, harrowing last 14 days.
I hope I sleep well tonight.
Post-edit – I did not.
Oh, by the way, I am gonna call this my rebirth and I am gonna take care of my village and my people.
Come on, universe.

Oh, in case someone wants to see my ECG report, lemme know.

Untitled – 31 May 2024

I caught some fever last Friday.
Been a week since.
I think I have recovered now.
But here are some recollections from the time I was perpetually in my bed. And some from after I recovered. These are not recollections per se – rather pieces that I want to capture somewhere.

Let’s go…

1/ You lose weight to start with. I lost 3 KGs.

2/ In the delirium induced by fever, you remember things that you never knew you knew. Like I remembered this young girl – she used to be an intern at VISCOMM and now she’s a kick-ass, award-winning screenwriter.

I remembered a friend-ish person who passed away a few weeks ago.

I had vivid memories of spending time with my ex-girlfriend at her house.

I am working on an event in Phuket next week and I was thinking about it a lot. Update – I am no longer doing this 🙁

3/ For some reason the taste buds die. Coffee starts to taste different. The thing that typically tickles your taste buds the most (Pani Puri) fails to wake up any emotions. Even the inhaler smells different. I can empathise with people like AK who have long-COVID.

4/ Whoop showed me that my recovery was like 1%. Then it became 3%. Then it climbed up to some 40. And that’s as normal as things could get. Oh, day before, I hit 100% on sleep for the first time I think. I slept for more than 8 hours. I dont think I’ve ever needed this much sleep but since Whoop says so and I’ve now managed to hit a 100% mark, I need to rethink this.

5/ I finally downloaded Bumble. Not my ideal choice – the anxiety and sadness of not getting matches is real. But I dont know what else to do. I remain too much of an introvert to walk up to women that I find interesting. What else can I do?

6/ Had to take up some working capital loan. I am really not cool about this taking loan, getting paid, paying back loan situation. Also, see #15.

7/ Walked to the C4E Sunset Club Point yesterday after the sunset. Was better – heat was less. The water was up to the ramp. Sat on top of the rocks. Realised that the view is better from up there. While there is something in touching the sand letting the water lap up to you, the view and the winds and comfort to the backside is better on top.

8/ Decided today in the morning that I will start reading again.

Read about 20 pages of Courage To Be Disliked. I will continue to choose self-help or biographies. No more books with lessons and all that. No more fiction for sure.

9/ Thanks to Rachna, we managed to submit the screenplay to SWA Pitchfest. To me, this is a big one. This is the first time a completed screenplay has my name to it! Now to go and shop it around and see if we can get someone to want to make a film about Aakanksha.

10/ Realised that 2 months of 2024-25 are over and we at C4E haven’t moved our backside on our plans to dominate the world.

11/ Grateful that I dont have to step out in the sun this treacherous heat. I know tons of folks are out and about and are working and all that. I respect them. I really am inspired by their efforts. I wish I could be like them. But I am not. So that.

12/ Last two-three days I have started to buy a muskmelon when I go back home from Starbucks. I cut it the best I can and then I eat it. I dont know if it’s any good for me but I do like the idea of doing something with my hand. No, I cant become a cook. No, I dont want to do fancy salads. This much – tiny bit – knife through the melon is all that I want to do.

Thing is, I’ve never had any taste for fruits but I am trying to cut on fried, packaged food and the best solution is to lean onto fruits. So that.

13/ I feel like snacking today. Have had some sugary cookies already. And I am sipping onto fizzy, sugarly, synthetic ginger-ale and coffee. If only I could come to a Starbucks everyday, not order anything and sit here to work, ISTG, I could change the world!

Let’s see what I end up ordering.

14/ I paid all bills in one shot yesterday – electricity, internet, mobile phone, GAS, cabs etc etc. I felt like an adult. But wait. haven’t I been an adult for like 22 years now?

15/ I also paid all my people. Love that feeling. I dont think I will ever want a CA to do that. Even if a CA does it, I will want to press the button. The feeling of paying people is unparalleled. Also, see #6.

16/ Grammarly has screwed their free product in want of getting more people to pay. Way too many notifications and pop-ups while writing.

Ok, enough.

More over the next few days!

The Guts of Steel (or not)

The heroics and sobering of a man who overestimates his ability with his health.

Hola!

So, growing up in Delhi and binging onto street food and eating all sorts of things made me believe that I have guts of steel. I could eat anything, made with any kind of oil, laced with sweaty palms and the dust and grime and all that that is all around us. And yet continue functioning like I am Rajnikant or Flash or any of those superheroes that are quick on their feet and all that. After all, that is what I am, at least in my head.

I would flaunt these heroics and guts and often participate in competitions around eating gol gappas, vada pao, pao bhaji and dunno what all. In fact, even alcohol. No, I don’t drink per se but on the VERY rare occasions I drink, I can outdrink any fish in the sea and yet walk in a straight line. Really. Try me sometime. Or not.

But, you know life has a way of humbling you and showing that you are an insignificant speck on a pale blue dot and you are meaningless in large cosmic things.

That happened.

Read on…

So, like most large forest fires that start with a tiny spark that often would die without disturbing anything of importance. But once in a while, these sparks help raging fires that engulf civilizations!

In my case, it started as dizziness. I thought my eyesight was finally giving in. Then I got the first burp. I could sense bile building up in my food pipe. And I knew I was going to puke. I know my body like that. Oh, I was on a call with some new colleagues while that was happening. Funnily one of the people on that call was a doctor and we were working on a pharma client.

Anyway coming back. I was on a call. And I knew I was gonna puke. And since this was a new team, I had to maintain my reputation as a sakht man. But then life had the better of me. And I had to puke. So I excused myself. Ran to the loo and spilled some. I thought it was gonna be ok after that. I came back, and finished the call.

And as soon as I hung up, I had to run to the loo cos there was more. And this time, I realised how much my stomach could hold. It all came out. And then for the next 2 hours, I puked and pooped.

Each trip to the loo became tougher. To the point that I could no longer walk the 2 feet distance from my bed to the loo. I walked with some support. I leaned on the doors. I got onto all fours. And then I crawled.

One time I couldn’t even build the courage to crawl and reach in time. Finally, I decided to lie down on the floor of the bathroom itself. I will let you fill in the other details. You do not want to know. I will make detailed notes in my Roam lest I forget.

I am grateful that no one saw me like that. As someone who’s kept his spine straight through thick and thin, this would have been the lowest point of my life. I remember the look on the faces of my parents when I got my nasal polyp operated on. I remember how C4E Junta looked at me when I broke my tooth at a picnic. I had decided that I would never let anyone ever see me in pain. I’ll walk in the rain if I have to cry. I found out that I may not command rain at a whim but I can sit under a shower for sure. Thank God for that shower!

So while I was dying (no the thought did not cross my mind – I knew this was a temporary thing and I will be ok; unrelated, there was a time when I was in Bangalore and I thought I would die. I called Poo and told her to take care of my people once am gone), I had the presence to tell people that they shouldn’t wait on me. I texted a couple of colleagues that I had to work with.

I then switched off my phone.
And slept.
At least tried to.

The bed was way too comfortable, the floor too cold. I couldn’t find a way to rest my head – neither on the pillow nor on the towel that I had rolled up. There were way too many mosquitos. Somehow I drifted to sleep. I remember waking up once to go puke again. And then finally finding it comforting to sleep on the mattress.

All this while, I did not think of work at all. In fact, the work be damned. I have some really fabulous people to work with and they managed everything. Phew.

I woke up late, I dont recall the time. I read online what to eat. Ordered a Gatorade, and some electrolytes. Called for boiled rice and toast. Ate the soggiest toast ever and yet it was yummy. Ate the blandest rice and each grain was full of taste. Slept again. Tried to. Was tough. But I slept.

I woke up the next morning (Saturday), showered, had idli and more toast. The idli was how and what you expect an idli to be. The toast was ok. Went to Starbucks, had half a green tea, some yoghurt (which was really bad tbh; Starbucks need to up their game), some bananas (read about BRAT diet) and then off to the airport. I had curd rice, hummus, pasta and a Diet Coke at the lounge. There, I spotted Subhash Ghai – each time I see a star from the yesteryears, I feel sad about what age does to them. Ghai had to be chaperoned by some flunky who was more keen on filing his plate with pasta. And I will ensure that I dont have a flunky for clutches when my time comes.

So, here I am, now, on 8D, typing things away. Feeling ok. I am grateful that I dont fall too sick for too long. I dunno why – my lifestyle is not the best. Irrespective. I am committed to doing better. I want to rebuild my gut. I want to gnaw at Steel and laugh while I do that. I want to bombard the gut flora and fauna with all sorts of food and fluids and everything in between. Maybe yoga would help. Maybe it won’t. Let’s see.

I am on the road for the next few days. Once am back in Bom on Thursday, I promise will not set a foot out till the Dubai trip (mid of March). I will have about 20 days that I will strictly do Keto! No cheats. No tiny carbs. I will find a way to resist temptation. I will also do yoga. As we speak, a yoga mat has been ordered.

In fact, I’ve been thinking about health for a long long time. If the incident of Friday is not a wake-up call, nothing would be. And this came in quick succession of my uncle’s passing. Since Friday (and the episode), I have only eaten kachra and I vow to never eat shit again. The body is the damn temple bro. I dont sit in a place that is not nice. I returned the in-flight meal cos the air hostess did not serve it with politeness. If I can skip a meal cos it hurts my ego, can I choose what I eat for my health?

So that.

Anyhow. My throat is still sore 48 hours after the incident. The only good part was that I finally weighed less than 91 KGs after I had emptied my gut into a gutter. I just hope it’s not something large. Like I said in the beginning, I want my heroics to never end and continue to operate like a superhero! More on these later. For the time being, over and out!