Tag: Poker

Wk 12-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes and thoughts from Week 12, 2025

Here are notes from week 12 of 2025.

I am in Delhi. And unlike other Delhi trips, I was mostly homebound. I didn’t step out as much as I do on other trips. I did meet a few people. I went for a walk with Kunal. And then some. But more or less I was home.

Oh, and I took easy this week. I didnt invest too much time or effort in trying to meet people. I have this new found policy – I will match the effort you make to be around me. In case I REALLY need you, want you etc, I will make extra effort. But more often than not I’ve realised that I don’t need to go out of my way. For example, this person – I call her THE ABSOLUTE BEST hire for C4E that we will never be able to hire – I’ve been trying to meet her for 6 months. And each time I am in Delhi, she’s one of the first people I text. And each time, something or the other happens at her end and we dont meet. This time, I decided to not bother. I know my loss but ek nahi to koi aur sahi. I can’t spend my life waiting for one person to show up. And thus I am gonna choose people who choose me. Simple.

PS: Am I wrong? PLEASE do let me know.

And with that rant, moving onto the review.

🈺 The LARGE objective from the week gone by? And the next week!

I was to work on the 2025 plan and Book 2.

I didnt make any progress on either. No, I didnt not think about them – just that the laziness of being in Delhi and lot of action on the work front had the better of me.

And no, I am not giving up on either. I will revisit these at some time. Book 2 is easy. Thanks to Bri and Claude, I am ok on that. I spend enough time talking about it, thinking about it that I am confident that it would happen this year. I wanted to push the first draft by end of Mar. That may still happen if I can find time once I am back in Bom. If not that, then by 15th April for sure.

On the 2025 plan, I am not so confident. But I will make it happen eventually.

Moving on…

☑️ What did I get done this week?

I will give a one-line report on things I got done on various things that are important to me. I will only talk about things that I got done. Shipped. Not WIP.

At this point, the following things are important to me (I know too many but…) and these are IN ORDER.

  1. Health
  2. Meru
  3. C4E
  4. Brand SG
  5. People (Family, Friends, Strangers, etc)
  6. Book2
  7. Shauk (Music, Films, Poker etc)

Health – I was home for the large part of the week. And that means I ate home cooked food. I still feel bloated and I get sleepy right after I eat but at least my sleep is better. Once I am back in Mumbai (on Monday), I will work towards building my kitchen. I am also gonna invest in health (gym etc). I wrote about it last week. I just need to action it. So yay!
I will give myself a 0 on this.

Meru – Regular work. Some products are close to seeing the MVP ready stage. We are moving with hiring. And some more action.
I will give myself a 0 on this.

C4E – Nothing much. Actually -1 on this. Reasons beyond this blog.
So -1

Brand SG – Nothing on this either.
Again, -1.

People – I loved the people I met while I was in Delhi. Plus thanks to Meru, I am meeting more people.
So, +1 on this.

Book 2 – Didnt write as much but I did move the needle.
However, I will give myself a 0.

Shauk – Nothing on this. The list of open projects is long – Madhushala, Aakanksha, Network School (:(), Poker, Optimist Manifesto and many many more.
Another -1

So the overall score is -3 for this week.
Trends from the pevious weeks: -2, -1

The max I can get is 7 in a week. Let’s see when I get to it.
Added this to my tracker too.

📊 The tracker from the last week

Here’s the tracker.

I love all the green on sleep hours and recovery.

I think the two of these things are good because I am eating better. Even though I am walking less than average, I am still ok. Guess its the food.

The other highlight is that I am unable to track money when I am home. Even though, this Delhi trip I stepped out far less than I would normally do, I did spend money and yet I didnt track it.

My emotions have been suprisingly in check. For all the hatred that I give to delhi, I am amazed that the things I track are actually, on track!

📷 Some Photos from the week gone by

Here are some photos from the week gone by.
Not too many. I told ya that whne I am in Delhi, my productivity goes for a toss.

Do lemme know which one you thought was the best.

📖 Interesting Reads from the last week

Not too many. Just one. Even though I have nothing, I dont want to remove this section.

  1. The Techno-Optimist Manifesto. Here.
  2. Self promotion – Wrote this. Also, updated the contact page.

💭 Highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

Here are some from this week.

A/ Ayush (from Notice)
Met Ayush. He’s the founder of Notice. He’s 24 and WHAT A GUY! I wish I had his brains and talent at that age. I want to do something with him. I dont know what. But parking it here.

B/ SoG 2025
I met a few bright people while I was in Delhi. I plan to bind them in a group or something. And I want to call it SoG 2025.

Unlike other SoG cohorts, I am trying this one to have “older” folks (people who are ~25) and push each of those to make 10X than what they make right now. For example, if I could help Ayush scale Notice 10X? Assuming, he’d want to work with me.

To be honest, I am little out of my depth here but what’s the point of life if we don’t try?

This is in continuation to what I wrote last week about how I want to spend my time and money here.

Coming back.

I made a post on twitter / linkedin asking people to nominate themselves. I’ve got a few replies. Let’s see what I do with it.

Oh, and if you are reading this and you have folks to recommend, please lemme know. I really can make a LOT of difference to lives of people.

C/ What did you get done in last week?
Since the Elon tweet and now with Meru, I am learning an incredible lesson. That things need to move week on week. And they need to be tangible. And we need to be high-agency AF.

And thus I am implementing this across my life. And I will implement this across all the things I do. If you are not high-agency, I dont want you around me. Simple.

D/ Ek Aur Panna
I decided to write off one more friend from my life. I wont talk more about it here but I am unable to operate when I am not treated with kindness. And this is when I’ve invested time, energy and effort into helping you build you life. Pavithra taught my recently that I shouldnt look at things in terms of a transaction but I dont want to be in rooms where I am not respected.

I will choose to be kind, polite, supportive and all that but if you cant treat me well, you could be whoever, I am out.

Also, I need to think – if I am the one who’s writing off people at this speed, will I ever have friends and family left when I am old?

Also, if you are reading this, is this my Ego at play? Help please!

E/ Home
I have made a decision that each month I will come home for a week.

It will mess with work and health and money and all that but I will. In fact, I will book tickets in advance (I cant book them right now – haath thoda tang hai) but I will book these. Till I have enough money to get my parents to move to Mumbai.

F/ Founder Brand
Met this young founder who thinks that building a founder brand will sell his products. I had to tell him to not ape others blindly. While founder brand is an important thing, it can’t be THE only thing! May be I will record a podcast on this. CC AK. Idea for the next episode.

G/ The head in the ass behaviour of someone I respect
Again, related to D above, yet another gent seems to have gotten so big that he’s got his head up his backside. This one is from MDI and is a self-appointed leader of a random group. I dont know what happens to people when they grow big!

Also, my decision on D above, is it because I have my head in my ass?

H/ SG Helps on Marketing
Thanks to this tweet, a couple of people filled in the form. And I spoke to one of those. And again, I was blown by the talent of that person. I think I have stumbled on to something interesting with it. Must find a way to scale it.

I / Dubai
I seem to have trained the algo on Insta on Dubai.

And I know that at least for the foreseeable future, Dubai is not happening. So I need to retrain my algo. Having said that, I want C to continue to focus on building C4E to be a borderless business (even though the world we live in seems to closing with each passing day). Dunno what she wants. I will not push her and let things take their course.

J/ C4E…
…is closing the year with a flat line compared to last year (no growth, no degrowth) in terms of topline and profits.

Not a good news. I was supposed to do 40 crores of topline this year. TBH, we would have been 2X last year if not for the bad last few months.

Again, on this, I want Chandni to write an annual report for all our stakeholders. Again, her wish if she wants to.

K/ Workshop on Taste.
Manas would’ve taken the workshop on Saturday. I was unable to attend (cos am in Delhi). Hope people would have had fun!

To be honest, I am not sure if I like that I am missing all these bombs that we are planting at C4E. I do these becuase I like to do things but if I am not there, then what? But I jknow that I need to focus on buliding Meru to be able to have more.

Sigh!

L/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words…

  1. Lesson on tipping from HT. I will ensure that I will tip EACH place I am at. I know I dont have enough but I will ensure that whatever I have gets distributed well.
  2. Wall of Portfolios is an incredible idea that I wish I had built! I will reach out to each person on that wall and try to make friends.
  3. Booked a wrong flight. I typically don’t make mistakes with these things but I did. And thus this needs to be captured. 
  4. Worked from a McD for three days last week. My soul is crying. 😀 
  5. Had Wai Wai Sadako at Yeti. Loved it. Been in love with it since I went to EBC.
  6. Met friends from childhood – Monu, Kunal. I wish I could live around them. But life has happened. I was reading something that says more than 95% people still live in / around the same pincode where they were born! 

🧠 Reminders from last week

I am adding this section. To capture things that I want to not forget. I will copy paste these week on week and track updates.

Here are things from the past weeks that I want to remember. And no, this may not be a comprehensive list. In categories.

  1. Health
    • Kitchen setup
    • Gym membership
  2. C4E
    • C4E Base
    • Design
    • Borderless agency / Upwork
  3. Shauk / Personal
    • Poker
    • Better dressed SG
    • Use of money / time
    • Love
    • Demand more from life

In case you know me, lemme know if I have missed something.

🥡 So, one thing that defines the past week?

Survive.

No large, deep thoughts. Just plain old being.

In the previous weeks, it’s been Looking Up, Survival, Taste, Community, Respect, Money, People.

—

Ok!
This is it for the week gone by. Late by a day. But it’s here. Yay!
Lemme know what you think.
See you around.

PPS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10, 11

Wk 11-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes, highlights, thoughts and other things from the 11th week of 2025.

Morning!
Writing this on the 17th.
While it was a short week for the world (holi and all), I had a long one. I can blame it on work, friends, health and all that! And thus I am late by a day. It is 8 AM right now and I am taking off at 930. If I can publish it before that, great. If I can’t then the post will come towards the end of the day. Have a lot to do.

Nonetheless, let’s go!

🈺 The LARGE objective from the week gone by? And the next week!

There’s a slight change in this format from the past few weeks. I will now track this as one or two LARGE things that I want to do in a week. And my report on that. And then the next section where I will talk about what did I get done in the week.

A/ 2025 plan.
This remains open. I thought I would take a week off and do it. I did not. I continue to keep this open as a task.

So that.

In the coming week, I will…

1/ Carve out time for the 2025 plan.
I met Ashi, Shubhi and a few more friends from MDI on 16th Mar and my eyes have opened up to my foolishness with money. I need some discipline and that would be a large part of this.

2/ Get to the first draft of book 2.
I am at a place where I have enough material to convert my notes into a working draft. So that.

☑️ What did I get done this week?

I will give a one-line report on things I got done on various things that are important to me. I will only talk about things that I got done. Shipped. Not WIP.

At this point, the following things are important to me (I know too many but…) and these are IN ORDER.

  1. Health
  2. Meru
  3. C4E
  4. Brand SG
  5. People (Family, Friends, Strangers, etc)
  6. Book2
  7. Shauk (Music, Films, Poker etc)

Health – This was bad. I was unwell. I ate kachra. I didn’t sleep well. If I could give myself a -10. I would. In fact, this is the BIGGEST red flag. So, will work on that!
-1

Meru – Regular work. Nothing new. Worked hard. Long. Was fun. Need to hire a lot of people. If you know people, please do reach out.
I will give myself a 0 on it.

C4E – Did maintenance things. And trying to hand over things to C. Putting in place things for other parts of C4E. Nothing large to report. Nothing large done.
So, a 0.

Brand SG – Did nothing, even though this is an important one. I mean I did record a few podcasts but I haven’t done anything large. I didn’t even post things on LinkedIn. I didn’t connect with others.
– 1

People – Did a few things. But nothing large to be honest.
I will give a 0.

Book 2 – Wrote a lot. I am ok with the progress I made. Not happy. Not sad. Ok. most of it was done by Claude. But progress for sure.
I will give a +1

Shauk – Nothing on this.
So, another -1

So the overall score is -2 for this week.
Trends from the pevious weeks: -1

The max I can get is 7 in a week. Let’s see when I get to it.
Added this to my tracker too.

📊 The tracker from the last two weeks

Here’s the tracker.

Look at all that food I am having!

I am killing myself one bite at a time. I will fix this. I have promised Ashima that I will get a functioning kitchen. And thanks to Rohilla, I do have a viable cook. I just need to find the money that I need to spend.

My back-of-the-envelope math says that I will have to spend 48K per month on this. Here’s the calculation: Cook – 5K, Groceries – 10K, Supplements – 10K, Gym – 5K, Coach – 8k, Physio – 10K.

And this does not even include the one-time expense (gadgets, utensils, clothes etc). At this time, I don’t have this kind of money on me. Lemme see what can I cut back from my life and allocate to health.

One large decision that I can potentially take is that I can move to Thane or Vashi or whatever. But I refuse to be not at the epicentres. I even wrote last week about how you need to be in the epicentres of action.

The other decision I can take is to cut on Starbucks (I do spend about 30K on casual coffee and meetups). But then this is where I meet my people and other people. May be not.

Anyhow. This is not the place for taking decisions. I am merely dumping whats on my head. Oh, and I know that I am probably over-indexing on the spends. Most people probably manage it in FAR less. But, like I say, I am not a great money manager. Ok, moving on.

📷 Some Photos from the week gone by

Here are some photos.

Not too many worth sharing. But some inspiring ones nonetheless. Do lemme know which one you thought was the best.

📖 Interesting Reads from the last week

This week was busy. I didn’t get a lot of reading done, tbh. However here are a few that I would love to share.

  • On assisted suicide. By Kahneman. THE Kahneman. Here.
  • On Network Effects. I read a few posts on the website. Start with this Masterclass. In fact, over the next few days, I will go down this Rabbit Hole and explore this as much as I can. If you are reading this, do read this and lets see how we can teach each other this. I would also like to see perspectives against this.
  • Charlie’s Psychology of Human Misjudgement. This one never gets old. I even told all my people to go read it. Thanks to Andrew for this 🙂

💭 Highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

There’s a lot in this department to be honest. I may not be able to capture all of those here but I will try as much. Lessgoo…

A/ Health
I am not at an age where I am thinking a lot about mortality (funny I am writing this from a plane and I am worried if the plane goes down, what would happen to all things that I have thought about and planned in life), spirituality and other such things. And I am also thinking a lot about how do I become that person who is capable and able to lead others. And I thus need to be in the prime of my health, if not in other departments.

This is a classic “why” that I now have and thus I need to act on the how and the what.

Now, within this, I can control a few things (what I eat, when I sleep etc.) and there are a few that I cant control (diseases, acts of God, randomness). So rather than crying over what I cant control, I will try and optimise what I can, indeed control.

B/ Network School
Even since they talked about Network School, I have wanted to be there. Last week, I secured an “admission”.

My suspicion is that anyone and everyone is getting that. I would have loved to go (little steep for me at USD 1500 per month) but at this time, a lot’s happening and I don’t want to digress.

This is the classic case of wrong timing. If not for Meru, I would’ve gone for a month for sure.

C/ C4E Base / C4E House
I want to get C4E Base in various parts of the world where the entire C4E village can co-live and work on things that are important to them (these could be C4E or non C4E things).

Think of Hacker houses. But for folks from C4E. I know the current ownership structures in the country and the emotions attached by people on their houses makes it tough to create these houses. I will have to build some of these. Let’s see when I am able to do so.

These spaces would be co-work, co-live, co-create, co-perform and all that. These spaces would encourage others to drop in, others to feel at home, others to do whatever they wish to!

D/ Design
This continues to be my Achilles Heel and a want and a need since 2007 when Raj and Vikram first made me aware about power of great design in life and all that. And since I pivoted C4E to brand, I have continued to want a great design partner.

E/ Upwork.
Murtaza opened up my eyes to upwork. For some reason, I’ve always remained on the edge with upwork. I have had this bias that only the shit ones get their projects from upwork. But once Murtaza showed us the numbers, I realised how wrong I was!

I would like C to chase this. But from now on, I can only like. The decision is hers.

F/ Using money.
This could be a long one.

Lemme try to make a coherent narrative. I am a big fan of Paras Chopra. Not just cos he’s made a lot of money but also cos he seems to be giving in using it the right manner – building tools of public utility, offering grants to the deserving, building residencies, initiating moments etc etc.

Same for Andrew Wilkinson. He runs Tiny and he uses some of his money to build things. Same for Ray Dalio.

Now all these may be construed as cherry-picking but they are supporting people. And this is where my lesson is. Why cant I support people like that with my money? I mean I already do with SoG Grant (this year I’ve given up some 45K already but these have been to individuals and in most cases the beneficiaries get to work on a project or two). But can I do this in a way that it compounds and builds something AND someones?

No, I am not a philanthropist. I want to see a better world that M & m may get to inherit and I want to build that work. I want to happen to things. And thus I need to make money. Or may be raise some money. Let’s see what path I take. #sgtodo.

G/ A man who knows a man
Chota Anna (I can’t put his real name here) told me the other day that he’s a man who knows a man. I was instantly reminded of myself. I am also the man who’s knows a man. And I know more men who know other men. And ofc I am a people-connector. So, 2 + 2, I am in a great shape ;P

I want all my people to be this. I know I have a lot of introverts in my life. I know I have a lot of private people in my life. And I know that I merely am a platform for opportunity exchange. So, I need to become an even larger connector.

So that.

Oh, and Chota Anna has asked me for help with some films. I was sad for a minute that I no longer have access to TRS or PPP and I won’t be able to help him. But I will do whatever I can to help him. I can’t be too active, cos Meru, but I will do whatever I can.

More on this in the next few days.

H/ Book 2
This is going SURPRISINGLY better than what I had expected. Thanks to Claude. If there are no large surprises, I should be ready to ship the first draft by the end of this month! Yay!

I/ Love
I’ve been thinking about this lately. I realise that I am ready for this. And yet I don’t have the time. Anoush told me something like, I need to carve out time for love. I realized I don’t have it in me to do even that.

In fact, I realised that I am stuck in that dichotomy – on one side, I want to be detached from everything. On the other, I want to be around my people. But then it makes me think – what’s the point of this life anyway if you’ve spent it in chasing action and all that.

The spiritual in me has come to the conclusion that life is pointless in large scheme of things. But on a day-to-day basis, you need to be engaged (park it as i) and be useful (part this as ii). And while you are engaged and useful, you need to build.

i, You can choose to be engaged in tiny things (like gardening) or you could be engaged in send rockets to the moon (and trying to catch them back). You know that carrom scene from Munnabhai? The old man chose to be engaged in and invested in his game of carrom. We call this “matar” at C4E. All of us need to be engaged in some game of carrom, some matar. For me, it could be C4E. For someone, it could be their family. For some, it could be religion. But there has to be something that becomes your identity and you engaged, invested in it!

ii, You can choose to be useful to your family (make that your focal point). Or you can be useful to the world at large. If you are useful to the family, in all probability, the family will support you and take care of you in your old age. When you are doing it for “others”, you are left to fend for yourself. So, need to figure this.

So that.

I just realised, all these posts are actually great linkedin posts. And if not that, twitter content. And if not even that, a separate essay. When I write these on my weekly note, it gets lost in all the other brain dump. Will think on this. #sgtodo

J/ Demand more from life.
Demand better things (food, drinks, clothes), better service, better people etc. People may say these things don’t matter. They do. But as you demand these things – you MUST NOT be an asshole.

I have a friend – she seeks the best and she wants the world to bow down to her whims and she gets him way most of the times but she’s often an asshole about it. Funny thing is, this attitude of “world is out there to serve me” allows him to do well in life. I’ve often thought about being a bitch like that but I’ve realised that my values don’t permit me to be that.

But what I can do is, stop being a perpetual people pleaser. Instead of doing things to seek validation, please people, I must do things

In fact just yesterday, I took a hard call of not supporting a lady who needed a lakh or so to get out of domestic abuse. The old me would’ve instantly given her 10-15K. This is the number that I am willing to let go of without any remorse. But the new me (who wants to support only the ones who deserve support) has chosen to not do that.

Thanks, Adam Grant!

K/ Poker.
I will teach all my kids poker. It’s a great tool to help you grow. You learn about risk, arbitrage, people, decision making, emotions, maths, gut, small talk and all that.

I took a session for C the other day. I will do it for others. If you want to be a part of the lessons, DM me these magic words – “pocket me rocket hai”. The session is STRICTLY for the ones that DM me these words.

Oh, I am not good at it. May be I can invest time to become better. But then, does it add to my current life plans? Not really. So, I will merely teach :D.

L/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words…

  1. Spillpot! I love when people ship projects. However broken they maybe. This is a good case in point.
  2. I am guilty of rotting on insta last few days. To be honest, all of it was with the motivation to get things done and learn more and all that. But I end up wasting time on it. I will limit my insta screen time to 10 mins in a day. I know this may not be enough to see, connect etc. But I will limit myself. Same for chess. Oh, I am not even good with chess!
  3. Super lesson from Hareesh Sir – “sheet banate jaaenge, cheez bhi to banani padegi”.
  4. Fam health scare. I will park it here. Nothing more, nothing less.
  5. Got myself a Gen-Z tee. I want to dress better. I am lazy and unplanned but I will fix it.
  6. I need to get myself sunglasses. I used to love them as an accessory at a point in time. And then I lost a couple of pairs in quick succession. And then I realized that the pairs I wanted were too expensive for me. And then I trained myself into thinking that I need to get Vitamin D. Lol. So, I will buy a pair.
  7. The way the captain speaks in the flight says a lot. Confident. Articulate. Polite. I must learn to be that. Wait. I have the word. Gravitas. That! In fact, I can relate the same to events. The way an event manager handles things when things go wrong, you realise their power!
  8. I am in Delhi for 3-4 days. I may stay longer if need be. This time I don’t plan to meet a lot of people. One of these that I will indeed meet is Farheen.

🥡 So, one thing that defines the past week?

Looking up.

I think this is how I would summarise the last few days.

In the previous weeks, it’s been Survival, Taste, Community, Respect, Money, People.

—

Ok!
This is it for the week gone by. Late by a day. But it’s here. Yay!
Lemme know what you think.
See you around.

PPS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10

Wk 08-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes from the 8th week of 2025.

This one comes from Bangalore.
And I am listening to this as I write this.

So, I had decided that I will not take flights this year. But I took one. I have talked about why I did that. And oh boy, am I glad I took it! I missed that entire grind of cheap yet comfortable travel, seeing new things, meeting new people, and observing things. The curious cat old man in me is thrilled!

Must reconsider the decision to not take flights. The largest reason for not taking flights is that it fucks with the routine but at least I’ve been consistent with my daily tracker. And if I can be ok with that, I think I can add other things (food, yoga etc). Just that I will not be able to travel light. And that’s ok.

Ok moving on. Here’s my update.

What I was supposed to do in the week gone by. And my report on the same.

A/ 2025 plan.
This remains open. I will work on this someday 😀

Vivek often calls it the State of the Union. Lol!

B/ Health
I took my weight before I left for Bangalore (I was 89 KGs). I will measure it again once I am back. While I am here, I am being mindful about what I eat and how I eat and all that. I am also walking a lot more. It helps that I picked a guest house near the client’s office.

I am yet to fully assume the identity of a healthy person but it’s WIP. Last night I was craving for a pizza. But I replaced that with chips etc. Lol!

Like I said last week, my health will be my north star.

What did I get done this week?

I am adding this here from this week on.

At this point, the following things are important to me (I know too many but…) and these are IN ORDER.

  1. Health
  2. C4E
  3. Brand SG
  4. Startup (this may take up C4E’s place in the list)
  5. People (Family, Friends, Strangers, etc)
  6. Book2
  7. Shauk (Music, Films, Poker etc)

I will give a one-line report on things I got done. Done. Shipped. Not WIP. As I go along, I will add more to this but today, one line update.

Health – Walked an average of 9K steps this week. Meditated twice this week. At some point, will add yoga and muscle-building things.

C4E – In Bangalore to meet a client. Put in the process for the team to work without me. So far, we seem to be ok with it. However, we’ve not been stress tested yet. C and F seem to be doing well with it. On the Labs piece, the website is live. AK is leading the team of BK, SJ, KA and others and shipping things. So that’s cool.

Brand SG – I am a lot more visible on the internet. Thanks to AK in large. I also kickstarted the Cockroach podcast. We call it The Optimists Manifesto. Read more about it here. The idea is to talk to people who’ve survived despite everything around them!

Startup – Helped team get ready for launch. There’ve been hiccups (new team and all that) but learning!

People – Did nothing.

Book 2 – “Wrote” a few chapters with the help of Claude. Shared some of those with the beat readers group (in case you want to help me, join this).

Shauk – Nothing on this.

I will also make a tracker on this.
Oh my love for forms and trackers ;P

The tracker from the week that went by.

Here’s the tracker from the week gone by.


Look at the averages column. Highlights…

I am incredibly stoked that I averaged 10K steps. Subendhu averaged almost 12K steps in the last year. On the YTD, I am at 8900 steps. I need to be able to beat him. Let’s see how it goes.

I also added meditation. I haven’t added for the 23rd (today).

Finally, sleep seems to be at a 6-hour average mark. I’ve tried everything but I am unable to get more than 6 on average, unless I am tired. Once I start with the workouts, this will probably go down. Let’s see.

Some Photos from the week gone by

Here are some photos.

This one is a mix of app screenshots and photos that I took.
Nothing special to be honest.
If you see something interesting, please let me know.

Interesting Reads

Here’s a list of things that I read / saw / consumed that left an impact on it. In some cases, I went and stirred up debate in my network.

Here’s a list. In no particular order.

  1. This video on Instagram – link. Hits you in the gut about how you let go of your life.
  2. Blume’s Annual Report – link – yet to read it. I typically take a print and read this. Yet to do so.
  3. Buffett’s annual letter is here. Again, yet to read.
  4. This tweet. I want to grow my account as well! Only for this reason (access)
  5. This thread on Reddit about how people in Nepal are building a video editing agency. Must replicate this in India for C4E.
  6. This post by Ankush Datar on legacy. And why it’s overrated.
  7. Ian Chappell retires from writing. Love such writing!

Highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

In no order…

A/ People Business
It became evident that at C4E, we are not an agency. We are in the people business! Over the week, met multiple people and held multiple conversations where this was reaffirmed. What we do at C4E is communication but we are in the people business. As Pradeep San often said about Gravity – we are in the business of saving jobs. That’s a separate story for another day. But at this time, we are in people business and we need to reorient ourselves to that.

B/ Hemant and Gokul
The two of them are different as chalk and cheese. And yet both of them are very very intriguing and inspiring. Each time I spend time with either, I am amazed at the capacity of a human mind to think that much. The other thing that is common to both, is, that their ideas are dense and the depth of their thoughts makes it tough for an average Aman (like me) to comprehend their ideas. I wish I could find a way to make their thoughts more accessible to the world!

Wait.
Who’s permission do I need? A lot of their inputs are in the public domain. Why can’t I start repurposing and talk about that in my words, on my blogs. What say? And, any volunteers?

C/ Sur
This dawned onto on Saturday. I am seeing C now run the business. I have played a tiny part in her life and now I need to find a way to not get into her way. More on this on my roam. But had to be captured.

Why Sur? Well, read this to find out.

D/ Poker + Writing + Teaching
One of my lifegoals is to be on the road, meet people and never worry about money. Sometime in the past I had imagined that I would be able to become a professional poker player (touring the world, playing in tourneys), teach at various colleges (while I am on the road) and write about my experiences while I do first two.

It’s great on paper. Except that I don’t have poker skills. And I have tried to learn and yet I am not good. Something in the week gone by reminded me of this goal. May be I will put a deadline on my life experiments and pick this up. May be when my parents are gone, I will become a full-time hippie traveller. A bald hippie.

And no, it’s not easy to imagine a life where my parents are not around.

E/ Ego in action
I saw my Ego in action. On at least two occasions. One with an old client. One with a potential client.

Must prevent this.

I don’t want to get into too many details (clients or whatever) but what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have been told by my team to not do this. I know that some time this will come and bite me in the back but I must check this.

PS: I also saw my humility in action 😀
I will not talk about this.

F/ Manas Ayare (linkedin)
Met this boy at a Starbucks. Spotted some crazy stickers on his laptop. Got talking. And then from there on, one thing led to another. Now, his company and C4E are offering a workshop!

AK is leading this from C4E. Here are the details.

G/ Nakul Kumar (Cashify)
Met Nakul for dinner. And it was incredible. Each time I meet him, its incredible. Got so many lessons. The biggest one is that I need to build a process-first company. So far we are not. There’s more. On my Roam.

Oh while I was there, I bumped into a classmate from MDI. Each time I meet him, its at a lounge, a restaurant etc. Love these serendipitous meetings.

H/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words on those.

  1. Must build media! The new podcast may be helpful.
  2. Must invest more in young people.
  3. Gave a 10K INR grant to a 16-year-old. SoG in action!
  4. Saw this news about Tyreplex. Reminded me of xTyres.
  5. This one by Bri is nice. I wish I had this clarity at the age of 19. Or whatever her age is.
  6. Talked to Dr Malpani. Inspired to do more. Especially his idea of building an ecosystem of startups in India.
  7. Got access to NeoSapien. Playing with it. Let’s see where we get with it.
  8. I love eggs!
  9. I cleaned by followers / following list on X, Insta and other places. I am getting more mindful about how I curate my conversations.
  10. Removed the cover from the new phone. TBH, I don’t like it much. But now that I have bought it, I am with it for a year at least. And then we shall see what to do with it.

Guess this is it.

So, one large takeaway from the week?

In one word?
Taste.

I’ve read, thought, and talked about it so much that it’s funny. In fact it has spilled from various conversations over the last week as well. But taste it is.

The close second is community. But at this time, I will stick with taste. I even recorded a podcast on it. Here.

For context, last week, it was Respect. And it was Money and People before that.

—

Ok!
This is it!
Lemme know what you think.
Gotta go.
See you around.

Oh, here are the previous editions: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes.

Untitled – 27 Nov 2023

The last few days have been maddening (and exciting). I have travelled to Dubai, Delhi and Bangalore. I have had multiple calls in a day (and I am not used to talking on the phone). I have had to douse multiple fires (including a few that I could have avoided if I had trained people well). I have had to think hard about how I want to run my business (continue to be a lifestyle business that gives me enough to live by myself in basic comfort or scale to a large services company where we make great money but then take great stress as well). No, I dont have an answer to this question. But I know that I have worked a lot. Probably the hardest I have ever had. And no, not hard work as in carrying a load on my back but putting my head to simple problems. And I will not lie, I am enjoying every bit of it!

I can complain that the problems am working on could be larger and grander. I know what am doing at 41, most people do at 25. I know I’ve been left behind in the race of life. I know I have to catch up on a lot of things. I know I have to run harder and faster to stay at the same place. I know age is not on my side. I am unfit like a sack of potatoes. I mean you get the drift. I can REALLY complain if I want to. But I think I am at a great place in life. I would have given an arm and a leg to be here when we were stuck indoors due to COVID-19.

So that.

Ok, coming to the point of this blog.

As an old man trying to do a million things, I get overwhelmed a lot and like most humans I often get the urge, need, want, wish, whatever to share how am feeling with someone. Someone who’d not judge me and understand me (at least try to). Someone who I can just go and rant to. I am super close to my team. More than I should be in a professional setting. I dont have boundaries. And that makes it tough to lean on them. My best friends are in full-time jobs with stable and fat salaries and thus they dont understand why I get jittery around the 20th about money. I dont want to trouble my parents. I dont trust people on the internet a lot. I dont have romantic partners.

And I really really really need to vent out at times. And this is when this blog comes in handy. I pour out whatever it is that’s clouding my head. Here’s a list of things at this hour – 23:57 PM, 27 Nov 2023.

A/ Health.
I am back to being 92.6 kg. Last week I touched 91. I had controlled what I ate. But I lapsed over the weekend. I had to be 5 inches thinner by the end of the year. I have about 30 days and I dont think that’s happening. And I hate it.

B/ Compulsive Shopping.
Last few days I have ordered random things on Amazon. Most of these were ordered while I was in that half-asleep, dazed state.

I need to stop this. Probably delete the credit card from Amazon. Probably stop scrolling those “ten things from Amazon you need in your house”.

C/ Chandni is finally in Mumbai.
I am giving myself another year 6 months or so to build a unicorn out of DD / C4E. We are in a good place in terms of income. We are at a great place in terms of delivery. I am cutting all the fluff by Mar 2024, including letting go of people that dont perform (something I’ve never ever done and something that I will do with a heavy heart). If I dont make it in the next few months, I would never.

D/ Music by Rajesh Singh.
I am tripping onto this dude called Rajesh Singh. He sings old Hindi music and I love him! See this one. See this tweet.

E/ Writing.
I am loving that words are flowing easily as I type this. I love that whatever I’ve been thinking lately, I am able to pour it on paper and I can feel the hunch in the shoulders go away. I must write more often.

F/ May the flop be with you!
I am on a great streak with the flops and rivers. I am FTing a lot of these timed tourneys on Poker Stars. It’s taking time but I am loving the grind.

G/ Payday
I need to pay my people this week. I am getting jittery about the bank balance. Lol.

H/ Dubai
Prito called me from Dubai yesterday morning. Love love love love it that he’s getting to do what he wants to. He is one of those super unreasonable, super-pushy people who decide what they want and then they get it.

Another such person I’ve come to know lately is Aastha. Even though she’s new in my ecosystem, I love how good she is! I wish I was half as good.

I am super-duper invested in the success of both of these people. And many many more.

I/ Growth and grandeur
FWIW I’ve always chased grand things and plans. And I’ve remained tiny speck. No, I don’t want grandeur for myself to be able to buy a Rolls but I’d like that wealth to open doors and give me access to experiences that I don’t even know exist.

J/ Car
I really really really crave a car. At this time, I want nothing but an empty-ish road, a decentish car, and a hotel at the end of the journey. I don’t think am buying a car in India ever but I would love to have access to one for sure.

K/ Manav Kaul, Filmfare
For one of the short films I produced with Shikha, Manav Kaul has won the Filmfare award for the best actor. I had literally no role to play in the film except putting in the money but his award felt personal! Oh, and we’ve been at numerous festivals and won some awards but I think Filmfare is the only Indian award that I probably cared for. That seems to be within reach now as well! So that. I really really would like to scale this business of entertainment. I damned moved all the way to Andheri for this!

And no, while I want to be a part of the show business, I continue to remind myself of Pale Blue Dot. I’ll probably get it framed.

L/ Focus
I have been thinking about focus. I’ve never been the kind to be able to focus and I don’t know if I should change it at this age. But then each time I see someone extol the virtues of focus, I get mindfucked. Like this tweet.

M/ The #in2024 Plan
I have been thinking about it for a while now. And I have been delaying that. Multiple reasons. Each year I make such a large brouhaha about it and I miss most things by a mile. Been planning and missing for at least 10 years now.

So this time, I am thinking do I even want to do it? I mean I don’t get discouraged if I miss the plan. I don’t get excited if I get to some milestones. I am mostly stoic about things.

I’d love to plan – gives me a semblance of structure in my otherwise random life. But then I’d love to not plan as well – gives me an opportunity to fan more randomness and see if things go well. So, if I do, I will continue to use YearCompass. If I don’t, I won’t. Let’s see where my mood takes me over the next few days.

N/ A new frame for the house
Now that I have decided that I will start to acquire things again, I got myself a piece of art frame. I love how it has come out. Whoever is lucky enough to get admission to my house gets to see.

Guess this is it for the time being. I had an ok (but tiring day). I had two tough meetings, but I sailed through. I have a fancy lunch to go to tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to it but I have to go! Work, sigh!

And as I end this, I really really want to acknowledge that whoever said that being an entrepreneur is the loneliest profession – HELL YEAH! It is. Especially if you are old and don’t drown yourself in alcohol or any substance abuse. You really have no one around. I am glad and grateful I have at least this blog to lean on. Most people don’t even have that. I can only imagine their misery and want of success.

Anyhow.
This is it for the day.
More later!

PS: In case you are in the same boat and want to talk to someone, am around 🙂

100721 – Morning Pages

Reflections on the day gone by. Lessons I learnt. Thoughts I have.

6:14. Woke up a few minutes ago. Had a very very long day yesterday. And it was hard. Hard because I had to do a lot of things that I hadn’t planned for. Plus I anyway was stressed cos I was wearing pants and shirt and shoes for a large part of the day. Plus I ate McDonald’s at 12 and some random food (and a lot of that) at 6:30. So while I am still on about 18-6 time-restricted fast, I can no longer call it OMAD.

Moving on.

So yesterday, I met AG briefly. It’s amazing that even though I meet him rarely, each time I meet him, we can talk heart to heart. Either he’s amazing at putting the other person at comfort. Or he and I connect at a level that’s kind of tough for me to connect with, with others.

We talked about multiple things – some about him, some about me. Things that we talked about him shall remain hidden in the folds of my mind. The things that he talked to me about me, allow me to reflect on those here.

A. He said these morning pages are getting depressing.
My reaction to that is at three levels. One, someone but me reads these :D. Two, if it’s negative, I could say that people are welcome to stop reading. I merely want to pour out whatever is on top of my head. Three, these morning pages reflect what’s on top of my mind. And if a third party reader is feeling the sadness and negativity in what I am writing, may be I am sad and depressed and negative.

So, need to check my emotions. And become better in my day to day emotions. I know it may not happen overnight but at some point, inshallah, it will happen. Of course, I will continue to be honest in terms of what I write. I just need to control my emotions and not let the negatives overcome the positives.

B. Poker
He mentioned that he’s playing poker (recreational). And I crave for it. I need to get back to! I dont know how though. I dont have many connections here in Andheri. Powai is way too far to go and meet Anubhab. Let’s see what solution I find.

C. Importance of expanding the circle of people you know.
He gave me a literal discourse about how to meet more people and then try and learn from them. I was exactly like that till a few years ago. But then with time as confidence started dwindling, I stopped interacting with new people. I even stopped meeting the friends I cared for. In the sense, I started to stay away. I refused to spend time with them on frivolous pretexts.

Of course, I will want to be aware of where I spend time. And think hard about who I give my attention to. After all that’s what Dandapani has been teaching me since forever! In fact, I continue to watch videos from Dandapani. Saw this one. And this one.

So that.

Ok, I need to be going. Have to stop this post abruptly. Will be back tomorrow with more.

Meanwhile, here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0. Ate at 12 and 6. So, no the OMAD streak is broken.
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 121
  • #noCoffee – 10
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 211

140321 – Morning Pages

Quick and dirty update from how I spent Saturday. Wish I the time to write more. The day was among the best.

6:24 AM, Mumbai.
Completed this somewhere on the Nashik highway at 10ish.

This is going to be one of those pages where I want to write a lot (I think I have a lot to write) but since I am short of time, I will not be able to get a lot of words in. I have to be at someplace real early. I had to be out and about by 6 AM, to be honest, but thanks to some snafu, I am still at home and that means I can get some words in. If not a lot, I can at least get a ToC of sorts in. Yeah, I have a table of contents of things that I want to talk about.

Here it is.

A. SG’s interview. There’s apparently some interview that I gave when #tnks came out where I have bared my soul. A stranger can read that and get to know who I am and what I think about. In that, I have even talked about my hatred for pets! To make matters worse, it has my photo on it. I need to do something about it. I can’t have my opinions floating around on the Internet like that. Lol. The entire life has been lived in making my life an open and public affair with this blog 😀

Need to find that interview and “fix” it.

B. Poker. A few days ago I was in this weird mood where I did not know what to do. None of my friends was around. Taarak Mehta felt like a drag. Brooklyn Nine-Nine was not funny no more. I couldn’t sleep. I had had enough of everything. I somehow remembered my love for Poker and after I don’t know how many months, I put money on a poker game. It was on Pokerstars and I sucked as bad I did when I played regularly.

Poker is one of those things that I think I can be really good at. There is an element of luck but you can control it to a large part. It just needs two things – knack for the game and the time required to build that knack. I suspect poker is like chess. You need to have some sort of inclination and “gift” for it and then you need to back it with consistent and focussed effort. You know, more you play, better you get.

Wait. Isnt this true with everything and anything? I guess!

C. SoG Grant. I saw a post on my Instagram last night and I reached this page on Thejesh GN’s blog. He’s started a grant in his mother’s name where he’s supporting independent creators on anything that they want to work on. I love the idea. I am so inspired that I decided on the spot that I want to start something. When I was growing up, I did not have the patron or the resources to chase what I wanted to. Now that I have some resources, I want to support others. An annual grant could be a great thing. Need to put things in motion. #note2self

D. Swiggy. Last night I was hungry and I decided to order something to eat. Good thing is that I ordered on Swiggy and that means the order was never delivered. Which is ok. I understand the business is run by people and they can often fuck up. But the way they handle these things is what needs fixing. The customer service is non-existent and the way they speak with you, they lack empathy. They assume that an order is a physical thing and if you refund the money, the customer is ok. They forget that it’s food delivery and the person on the other side could be hungry. And its well known fact across the world that when you are hungry, you are not the person you are. And you need to talk to hungry, angry, irate people in a different tone / manner etc. I promise I will make it a mini-project and try and teach these people how to be customer-centric and have some empathy.

So that.

E. NA. I also want to talk about this woman, NA, that I met via Lunchclub yesterday. Out of 30 odd people that LC has matched me with, she was only the second that I had wanted to meet.

And I goaded her into meeting me.
And we met.
And it was awesome.
NA is one of the finds of this year so far for me. I hope I can become friends with her and get her to do something with me. More about her on some other day. Today am kinda short of time.

F. Misc. Things that I want to talk about but don’t have time for. 1, I pet a dog at a friend’s place. My first time ever. 2, The realization that I am #foreverAlone and unlucky in love. Every woman that I seem to get close to tends to get away from me. The pattern repeats where these women think that am a loser and move on. 3, The feeling of heaviness and general lethargy and my desperate attempts to get over those. 4, Hunt for a new house (which I am hoping is a little better than the one I am on). 5, I am not sure. I forgot 😀

G. Streaks. Here.

  • Morning Pages – 92
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • OMAD – 3 (thanks to Swiggy, the streak remains unbroken)
  • #noCoffee – 5
  • #noCoke – 5
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0 (adding this from today on)
  • #book2 – 0 (I REALLY need to start on this!)

So yeah, thats about it. More tomorrow. On a Monday.

Day 6. 161220

On day 6 of my daily morning pages, I write about how poker could be a career for me. And how it may not be! And ofcourse I rant a bit!

16th December. More than half of December is gone. Also, 10 days since I’ve moved to Goa. Probably the longest I have been away from Delhi or Mumbai without any work / agenda. I do have a sense of how this is going (not good, to save you suspense) and I do know how to fix this (get a better Internet connection, fix a schedule, a public space that has 24×7 access, etc) and I will if I know that this is where my base is going to be. PS: I miss this 24X7 bit more than I miss anything else in the world, btw.

But as I write this, at 6:23 AM in the morning and funnily, work and base are not the first things on my mind. I am increasingly thinking about ideas and I am itching to start executing one. I wish I was paid to think of ideas.

I think it’s an outcome of people finding out that am in Goa and then assuming that I am working on my next book (which is based in Goa) and asking me the same question. In fact, at least three people asked me about the book just yesterday (Daku, Kamat, and Aka). High time I get going. If only I can find the time. I think I will have to make time (and not find the time), if I need to get the book out.

Like I said, I don’t have thoughts about any one particular project but about something. Something that I can do and kickstart. It’s been a few months since I did something new. I guess this is what happens when you get bored and the ennui induced by the day to day living makes you restless.

So yeah. That. Apart from this, I don’t know what to write. The heads got a million thoughts but I don’t know what to write. I want to quit this post here but JC says you need to write three pages (or 30 minutes in my world), I will write till it’s 7 AM.

Let’s see what’s been clouding my head. I have to deliver a few presentations today. Each will take me 2-3 hours to deliver. So that. I need to finish editing a book. That will take a few more hours. I may get to play poker in the evening. Not sure though. Poker needs at least 5 players and it’s often tough to find people that like that game like I do, even though I am lousy at it.

In fact, poker could be a thing that I can talk about. Poker is probably as perfect a game as they have invented. There is luck, there is skill. Even with lousy cards, with some skill (bluffing, reading people et al), you can do well. I think Poker could be my sustainable vocation. Just that the learning curve is steep and I need to put in some 10000 hours (or play a million hands) to build a mental repository. It is much like chess. You build a repository and you can play from experience. The difference is that chess is more or less a finite game where each move can eventually lead to a certain conclusion (and thus computers have beaten humans), poker is not.

Poker requires patience. It requires a bankroll (that you can build up with time. Random trivia – I have a record of more or less every poker game I have played since 2012 and numbers tell me that I not a good player).

Poker is excitement. The adrenaline that you get after you win a tough hand? Wow. The validation of getting out of a tough spot? That. The feeling of achievement after you have won? Yes! Tangible results? Of course!

It has everything that I want.

Sense of achievement. After all the results are tangible. With books, films, they are not. You are left guessing about what you’ve written.

Ability to travel the world (COVID-19 withstanding). There are probably as many casinos as there are rich, touristy destinations.

Opportunity to meet interesting people (most poker players have interesting lives, the kinds that make interesting stories).

Better with age. Rather than sports like Tennis and Chess, you get better with time (till a point, of course).

There are a few things missing as well. Here’s a list.

No impact. Even if I become a Kid Poker, I wouldn’t be able to make an impact. May be I will if I go the Chamath or Jason way.

No scale. It’s a solitary game. How do I create a community? How do I do things at scale?

No physical effort. Apart from being able to sit at the chair for long.

I am sure there are more things that I can write on both how poker has everything I want and what is missing. But the point is, it sounds like a thing that I could easily do for a living! Just that I need to make a commitment and then not move from it for 3 years.

Wish I had the means to do so! Damn them means. Have chased means all my life and I am losing the race and I can see that. And I can’t find a way out. If not for friends and family, I wouldn’t know what to do. This Goa trip has been made possible only because Rajesh was kind to give me his house. Nupura was kind to chaperone me. My parents were kind to not frown on my decision to stay away. My sis was kind to fund the last few months (and probably a few more). If not for all this kindness, I wouldn’t know where I’d be.

So yeah. That.

Oh, the thing for the day? Rather than lamenting about lack of means, I am grateful for the abundance of this kindness. Lol, I sound like a Buddhist monk but heck yeah! That’s how it is! That’s that! I am grateful that I can make my fingers dance on this keyboard and express myself. To the void. Or to the world at large. Or may be, to myself!

With this, over and out!