Tag: King Richard

Wk 13-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes and thoughts from Week 13, 2025

Morning!
At this time, its 9:05 AM and I am waiting for AK to finish reading highagency.com. And then she and I will record the next episode of Adulting Podcast. And then I have a bunch of things to do and then I have a lunch with Paras. And then I have some work. And I will find time in between all these to write this piece.

So, with that, let’s go!

🈺 The LARGE objective from the week gone by? And the next week!

I was to work on the 2025 plan and Book 2.

Like last week, I didnt make any progress on either. I do have a few reasons and excuses on why I couldnt. I will not get into those. I will acknowledge that I didnt work. And I will try and do better in the coming week. So that.

Moving on…

☑️ What did I get done this week?

I will give a one-line report on things I got done on various things that are important to me. I will only talk about things that I got done. Shipped. Not WIP.

At this point, the following things are important to me (I know too many but…) and these are IN ORDER.

  1. Health
  2. Meru
  3. C4E
  4. Brand SG
  5. People (Family, Friends, Strangers, etc)
  6. Book2
  7. Shauk (Music, Films, Poker etc)

Health. I want to do 4 things here – eat better, sleep better, work on my muscles and generally by happy. In the week gone by, I did nothing. So -1 there.

Meru. A lot of action here. I cant talk about a lot of this. I even wore shoes 2 days in the week gone by! So yeah! But despite the action, am far from getting to the ideal state. So, I will give myself a 0.

C4E. Again, like Meru, I did a lot but nothing to show for. Luckily, Chandni is doing the heavy lifting on the revenue and everyone else is supporting her. On Labs, AK (and increasingly KP) are keeping the movement. I will give myself a 0.

Brand SG. I got a few emails as a result of work I had done in the previous weeks. So that was good. However I didnt take any action on it. So, a -1.

People. Did a few things. Got Bri some gifts. She knows about one. Doesnt know about the other. Plus, like last week, met a few people. Nothing large of consequence. So, a 0.

Book 2. No action. -1.

Shauk. No large action. Did catch the sunset. And thus, a 0.

So the overall score is -3 for this week. Same as last week.
Trends from the previous weeks: -3, -2, -1
The max I can get is 7 in a week. Let’s see when I get to it.

📊 The tracker from the last week

Here’s the tracker.

What do you notice?

For me, the highlights are…

  1. I’ve missed my daily twitter review. I need to try harder.
  2. I didn’t track money for a few days. This is largely because I had relatives over and with them I was loose with money.
  3. Sleep and recovery has largely been ok. I need to get more consistent though.
  4. I added a few rows (journals, OMAD etc). I plan to track those.

That’s it I think.

📷 Some Photos from the week gone by

Here are some photos from the week gone by.

Absolutely love some of these.
Do you want to guess which one?
Ping me on X.

📖 Interesting Reads from the last week

I bookmarked a lot. But I havent read a lot.
Nonetheless, I will capture those here.
At some time, I will have someone post these on larger platforms as well.

  1. What to do. By Paul Graham.
  2. This mile long essay on High Agency by George Mack. This is one of the most important pieces you will ever read.
  3. This essay from Anand never goes old. Do read it.
  4. Companionship Content by Anu Atluru. I love each thing she writes.
  5. Assorted links on how to get rich (thanks to AK for the prompt)
  6. Recurse Manual – This could actually be the future of SoG. And while you are at it, do read Late Checkout Story, Values at Bending Spoons, the Tiny Story, Lossfunk and other venture studios #currentThings
  7. Pradeep’s Note Taking Dilemma – here
  8. Made this list of tools I use – here
  9. Finshots on Ozempic in India – here
  10. Had to read about Frank Slootman but I did not.
  11. The Turner Diaries. Here.
  12. Gautam on how to capitalise a services compnay and reward people.

💭 Highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

Here are some from this week.

A/ AI
Faceless channel, content, code, design, creative services and dunno what all. A lot is on my mind, especially that one of my children is directly impacted by this. I will probably write a longer note some day. For the time being, AI remains at the top of my head. So that.

A.1/ Studio Ghibli
I hve to talk about this. I may not have an eloquent answer but for the first time in my life, since the AI revolution happened about us, I am feeling cheated. Enough said. May be I will do a solocast on this.

I also wrote this on my daily note on the 27th March…

The entire internet has gone bonkers over it. And I think it’s not a good thing. No, I am not resisting change. I am in-fact all for change. But I felt sad that the insane effort that all these artists at Ghibli put in to build art is now a commodity. On the internet, it will be a passing fad – people will make photos, try to look “cute”, make films and I dont know what all. But in the process, we will forget the hardwork that the artists would have put in.

Of course you can compare that to the work of writers and painters and coders. And surprisingly, I was ok when those were “displaced”. So little conflicted on that.

Nothing has changed since I wrote that.

B/ Bhiwandi
On Tuesday, I went to Bhiwandi to see some warehouses. While I went to a few only, the visit was eye opening. The suprising efficiency with whch things were moving around was jaw-dropping. I have heard about those at CynLr, I’ve seen documentaries, I’ve experienced it (QC) but I saw the engine like a living and breathing thing for the first time.

I am not sure I am big fan of how that’s working but it’s incredible. Has to be a highlight of my week.

C/ Meri.health
I got this message on my WA group where a gent from the first batch of IIT Delhi (Ramesh Ji) wants to do a public health startup. And I am unable to help him (I have a lot going for me). I tried to find someone who can help them but I was unable to. My heart goes out. I wish I could help them.

In fact, if you are someone who can help these folks, I would love to connect and even volunteer for a bit with you.

D/ Attention Span
Multiple people have told me multiple conversations that I have ADHD and I need to do something about it. I will start with meditation.

On the beach today, I will not use my phone at all. And I will fix this. #currentThings

E/ Eco Mode
I am gonna live in the Eco Mode from 1 April. The only expenses I would make would be towards work and health. Nothing else. No more gifts, no more “quality of life” improvements, nothing else. The idea is to extend the runway for as long as I can.

F/ Rejection
A candidate rejected me at Meru.

Here’s some backstory. When I interview someone, my approach is to dissuade them from joining me. Some people try to show you the rosy picture and good things and all that. I try to show you the worst things and then, despite that, you are keen on working with me, I am all heart.

This person rejected me. And that was not cool. I felt bad. Need to not feel bad when such conversations happen. Oh, the funny thing is that I’ve been rejected by people in the past and each time that happened, I didnt really feed bad. This one felt personal and hurt more. Dunno why.

G/ Nails
My nails havent been clipped in a while. And I need to find a way to do that. I dont like them dirty and there isnt any time to do that. I may do it today.

H/ Travel
I had decided that this year I will travel less. That is already not happening. I am staring at an upcoming trip to Bangalore (for health) and a trip to Bangkok (to meet Vivek and kids). I want to not do either. But I will have to. So that.

I/ This tweet. And People.
I wrote this in fit of rage. I absolutely hate when my people dont trust me. I want to write more but I will leave at it. I will write on my Roam and in my ecochamber but its important to capture that my heart has been broken so bad that I dont know what to do about it. No, I am not ok. But dont ask me about it. I just want to pour things here and someday when (and if) I write a biopgraphy, purely to leave lessons for people, I will talk more on it.

J/ The Order
More about it is here. Saw this last night. Loved it. Oh, and the writer of The Order (Zach Baylin) is also the writer for King Richard!

I saw a film after a while and I totally loved it. I must find more films and see those.

K/ Started Journaling.
After I saw a tweet (it was by Namya Khan and I cant find the link (thanks to Pradeep for sharing the link)). And this has been inspired by Marcus Aurelius.

L/ Lucky Ali
He’s been dropping bangers one after another on his YT channel. See some here. so many emotions. Lemme make a list.

  1. Why am I not producing this? Why am I not after Rabbi Shergill to make documentary on his life?
  2. He’s aged and clearly unable to sing well. It’s not good to see him in pain. On the other side, its incredible to see him try so hard!
  3. Things like music never go old. One must create art, even in the day and age of AI

On, and staying on music, I cant stop seeing this by Maithali Thakur. May be have a dekho.

M/ Purpose
On C4E Village, the other day we were taling about purpose and while talking, happened to say something increbile (at least I think so). That the world is a mirror. If you are unhappy, the world would look unhappy to you. If you are happy, the world would look happy. I further said…

“…am 42, failure, but instead of that making me sore – it inspires me to do more. more than a 24 year old. and not to any end. but to burn. on both sides. in a way that meri aag ka tez, mera prakash at least mere aas paas ke logo ki duniya ko roshan kar de and unki raah me ek streetlight ban jaaye. raah pe chalna unka kaam hai, mera hai raah ko roshan karna”

And I said…

“we make meaning in life when we make meaning in other people’s lives. the most content, happy, people are the ones that are either reading Naval or doing charas or helping others.”

And finally, my advice was…

“bina apne matlab ki duniya ki madad karo, kaafi swad aaega”

N/ Naman hit a personal money milestone.
Super happy about it!
More on it on my echochamber

M/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words…
Not too many things to be honest. I have actually covered most of those in the text above!

Phew that was a lot for the week.

🧠 Reminders from last week

I am adding this section. To capture things that I want to not forget. I will copy paste these week on week and track updates.

Here are things from the past weeks that I want to remember. And no, this may not be a comprehensive list. In categories.

  1. Health
    • Kitchen setup
    • Gym membership
  2. C4E
    • C4E Base
    • Design
    • Borderless agency / Upwork
  3. Shauk / Personal
    • Poker
    • Better dressed SG
    • Use of money / time
    • Love
    • Demand more from life

In case you know me, lemme know if I have missed something.

🥡 So, one thing that defines the past week?

Action.

In the previous weeks, it’s been Survive, Looking Up, Survival, Taste, Community, Respect, Money, People.

—

Ok!
This is it for the week gone by. Late by a day. But it’s here. Yay!
Lemme know what you think.
See you around.

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10, 11, 12

PPS: This week, thankfully, I maintained a note where I would keep dumping things that I want to capture in my weekly note. I loved being mindful about this habit. I will continue with it.

Wk 06-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes from Week 6 of 2025.

10:25 AM
Starbucks, Versova
Let’s see how long do I take on this. I’ve started a Forest timer. Let’s see.
Update: Made numerous calls in the middle. Publishing this at 14:06 PM

So, this is my favorite time of the week. Where I am by myself. And I sort of journal what’s happening in my head. I do a recap of the week. I dump all that I need to get out of my system. Call it flushing. Some things make it to the blog. Some dont (the ones that dont, get to my Roam). The thing that I am most careful of is that I dont delve in the past. and I dont want to worry about the future. I am present. Thinking. Cataloging. Actioning. Just the act of sitting at one place and writing and publishing is nice. In fact, I often think that if I could just write and pay my bills, I will do that. But then, that’s alternate reality. I need to act on whats up today!

Oh, I am listening to this as I write.

Here are sections (I want to change this but I will do so at some other day)…

What I was supposed to do in the week gone by. And my report on the same.

A/ 2025 plan.
This has been open for like 2 months now. I met Neha last night and she mentioned that she’s been seeing make these plans for 3 years and no action. I am still poor, fat and all that. Vivek says the same.

But…

I remain a thick skinned person. This is my yearly ritual and I will not trade this for anything. So, at some point, I will get to this. Parking as sgp1 and todo.

The tracker from the week that went by.

Here’s the tracker from the last week.

I ate a lot. I walked some. I spent a lot. More or less the emotions were in control. My streak of daily updates is good too (I’ve moved those to @altsg). I had a REALLY bad day couple of days when someone shat on C4E on a public platform. But now that I look at this chart, apart from that one red and yellow window, I was mostly ok.

This is surprising. There’s a disconnect. My daily twitter posts reflect otherwise. May be I need to write my posts better? Or maybe I need to capture things better. Will be more mindful in this week.

In fact, J said that for someone who claims to be a Stoic, I am moved a lot by my emotions. She’s not wrong. Must be more mindful.

If you see this, please tell me what you see that I am missing?

Photos from the week

Here are some photos from the week gone by.

Oh, btw, I tried to find a way to embed Google Photos into WordPress. I found a plugin as well. But I was too incompetent to get it to work for me. IF you know wordpress well, would you want to do this for me?

Interesting Reads

Adding this section from this week on. The intention is to capture what left an impact on it. And have my people read these and debate.

  1. Triangle of Talent by Shaan VP. FUCKING EYE OPENING.
  2. Derek Sivers on How to Spark a Movement. I see this often.
  3. Imperfection by Dharmesh Shah. Loved loved loved it.
  4. This presentation by Paras Chopra where he makes a case about why India needs to build our own AI Model. I have my disagreements but he is the man in the arena. Also, Paras is inviting people to work with him to build those models. Some of you may want to apply. Going by his reputation, he will ensure that it reaches fruition.
  5. This piece on Atoms and Bits.

There are more links and things that I read. I share those on this group. In case.

And this brings me to highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

I will lean onto my Roam and Daily updates for this.

In no order…

A/ C4E – a LOT happened at C4E in the last week.
And here’s a quick summary.

  1. Reputation. I dont care about mine. I may live or die. But C4E is a village and I will not have ANYONE call us a scam or a fraud. I am ok to not meet your expectations or whatever. But I am not a scam. I will work harder than anyone else you may find. You know, more chappal than anyone else. But I am NOT a scam. The sad part was that apart from me, I dont see anyone else at C4E care for the reputation! I wrote more on my daily update here.
  2. Premium Pricing. I will restructure C4E to only charge a premium pricing. I may die hungry but I will not work for anything that I am not comfortable with.
  3. People Ops. I will ensure that we treat people better. We are mostly good but I want to take it up a notch. We HAVE to be the best when it comes to people.


B/ Health
I am at that age now there I am seeing multiple health issues. I have something wrong with my heart and I need to see more docs for that. Skin seems to be breaking out. My back hurts perpetually. I really need to fix my hernia. I need spects. I can go on and on.

I need to work on this. And I will. Starting today, I am changing my identity to that of a healthy man. I will do each thing that you expect a healthy person to do. Including working out.

And this will be more important as I go along with the startup that I am working on!

C/ Farheen 
Spoke to this lady. She’s all of 23 and WOW. My gut says that she will do a lot in life and go far. But let’s see. She offers social media marketing, SEO and allied services. If you are on a lookout, you may consider chatting wiht her

D/ Dubey Ji at Marine Drive
Just yesterday, I was at Marine Drive and I did what I do each time I am there. Get a massage. And of course got talking to the masseuse. And he told me about this person – Dubey Ji. Apparanty, he’s the guru of most of the masseuses on the Marine Drive. The important part is that Dubey Ji is now retired and each of his shagirds give him a tiny sum each day! I would love to be that where all my kids are doing well and I am merely living vicariously thru them!

E/ I got a new phone.
And I dont feel any emotions towards it. It was important to capture. As a young person, each time I got a new phone, I made an event out of it. I realised that it was no longer the case.

F/ AKs website is up after a month!
So cool! The world needs more of her. Here’s the link – akforthevibe.com

G/ C and Krishna
If I were to make a list of people who believe in SG, Krishna and C will probably top the list. And I have been unkind to both of them over this week. And I need to fix it.

But…

I don’t know how. I know both of them will read this post and both of them will say, “its ok”.

H/ Took a loan
I had decided that I will not take a loan again. But this month I had to. And by the looks of it, I will need to take another one. I dont know when this cycle will end. Let’s see.

I/ The AI Fomo
I talked about it last week too. And its getting all the more real. TBH, since last week, I have made some progress. I am more aware. I have read more. But I still dont have enough to give me comfort. I need to find that.

J/ Worth Living For
Prof Kavi Arya mentioned this in a conversation. He said something on these lines… “Most people tend to think about things that they want to die for but this approach was refreshing – what are you willing to live for?”

This opened by eyes like nothing else had!
I am willing to live for a lot of things. And no, these things don’t mean leisure or pleasure.

K/ Other things that I want to capture but I may not spill too many words on those.

  1. Updated my Work With Me Page. After I got the inspiration from Hardik Pandya’s page.
  2. Gokul NA. Each time I speak with him, I am inspired to do more with my life. I REALLY wish I could drop everything and work FOR him. He’s a rare person that I want to work FOR. And not WITH.
  3. May get to work as a marketer on a project at IIT Bombay. I am not getting paid a lot but I would like to get the experience of being at IIT often. Maybe know more students and all? Oh, on my previous visit to IIT, I bumped into Mayank Pareek! Talk of serendipity!
  4. Films business. I HAVE to do something about it. I will have to restart from scratch now that I am out of TRS but I will do it.
  5. I have a crush on a 51-year-old!
  6. I’ve been missing Steve Jobs.
  7. Made some tough calls that I was avoiding for a while. Some more tough calls need to be made. Will do those in the coming week.
  8. Met Arun Kedia for a coffee. One of the best meetings in a long long time. More notes in my Roam.

Ok that.
Phew

One large takeaway from the week?

In one word?
Money.

Last week, it was People.
This week, its money.
I don’t want to write more here (context is on my Roam). In case someone wants to know more, you know where to find me.

PS: Reminds of KWAN – love, respect, community AND the dollars too!

PPS: Now that I am on films and trailers, I saw this and it brought a lump to my throat. Happens each time. And then I saw this.

Ok!
This is it!
Lemme know what you think.
Gotta go.
See you around.

Oh, here are the previous editions: Wk 01, Wk 02, Wk 03, 04, 05

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes.

231021 – Morning Pages

A longish post about random things, thoughts and ideas that I had yesterday. And some plans for the day.

6:35. Just woke up. Slept really late. The last few days have been a blur. I am not sure when a day would start. And when that day would end. While I enjoy such a life, the rewards that I seek for such a life are not really there. If I could fix the reward bit, I would be a changed man. Right now I am groggy. I am literally yawning like no one’s business. And there are so many sore spots on the body. No, it was not a restful sleep.

So, the morning pages. I have some lingering thoughts about a dream. In the dream, I am on top of some hoverboard or something and that’s going so damn high that I can see the entire world. The hoverboard is tethered to an aircraft. Along with me, on his own hoverboard is VG. And while he’s there, he’s on the phone. Where else.

I think this is after a while that I have remembered a dream. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad.

Yesterday was otherwise ok. Did some work. Avoided some work. Got some praises. Got some brickbats. Made a few tough phone calls (have even tougher calls to make today). Had decided that I would fast. Could fast till about 4. And then ate so much that an average human being would eat in like a week! Had infinite cups of coffee. That is probably acting up and making me feel so blah about myself.

But hey, here’s the thing. I’ve been at this and the email to Team SG since 6:35. It’s 7:15. The last 45 minutes have actually made me happy, cheerful, and all that. Just because I am typing and letting things that are clouding my head on a computer. And sharing with a few people that I genuinely care for. And want to be cared by.

And while I am doing that, I am sipping onto the water. I’ve had almost one liter of water. Will have another liter. Oh, lemme talk of another thing that may construe as TMI. I am done with an electric toothbrush. For the last two days, I have been using a good old hotel toothbrush. The kinds that you dispose of away after you are done. I have been giving my teeth a vigorous rub down. And while I am not sure if it cleans anything but I love the experience. Something that I did not get with an electric one. So that was the big reveal of the day 😀

In other things, I have to write about the filmy day I had yesterday. Made me realize how important films are as medium and how much I long to be a part of the business.

So three things happened.

A. I saw the second trailer of King Richard (2021). The first one is here and the new one here.

And I realized how powerful stories could be. I mean just the trailer moved me the first time I saw it. And now, with the second one, I know that I relate to that father to a T. The film, the story made the life purpose clear to me. I made me realize that I want to be King Richard! You know, the kinds that help create a Serena and a Venus! And more. I really want to be the shoulder to multiple giants. All those random acts of kindness that I engage in, all the artists that I try and support, the Team SG itself is an attempt in that direction. Let’s see if I can do it.

You may want to see this thread on Twitter.

B. While looking for a reference for work, I happened to look at the trailer of Love Actually and I realized I want to make a film like that. Where simple stories of love are brought to life. Of course, there is Modern Love and all that. But Love Actually is a brilliant example of hyperlink cinema and I think it is among the greatest films ever. I’d love to make a film like Love Actually.

Here’s a random trivia. Love Actually is by Richard Curtis. Who also wrote Notting Hill. And I quoted Richard Curtis in a line in the acknowledgments section of #tnks.

Here’s an idea. What if I make a film about love? Maybe about a person trying to find love? I remember I was at DocEdge a few months ago a lady was filming her experiences of how she’s going about finding love. It was a non-fiction documentary and I think there is merit in doing something similar. But then, do I want to copy? Nah. Let’s see what cut can I identify.

C. One of the crew members on Bil Bulaaye reminded me that around this time in 2019, my first short film was released at MAMI. It was among the highlights of 2019. It allowed me to amplify what I do with films. Of course, I have a very little hand to play in its success (or not such a large success), but it is my first. And it’s special.

And here’s a bonus 4th. I read about the story of Rockstar (2011) and I loved it. WHAT AN INTENSE STORY! Of course, the word is on the street that it’s a shitty film but I loved the story. Must must must get in the business of stories, Mr. Garg. #note2self.

So yeah!

Guess this is about it. Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|. I woke up groggy and sad and miffed. But as I wrote the morning pages and daily mail to Team SG, I am little more cheerful.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Super duper distracted.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I have found a set of people (Team SG) that I can rant to. While there is no commercial transaction per se for being that, I love that I have a few people that I can be myself with.
  4. Things that would make my today great. Just one thing.
    1. If I can salvage a tough client situation that I am in, it would be great. In fact that would make this entire week, entire month great.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    My happiness and sadness is controlled by no one but me. I need to become un-fuck-withable.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I had decided that I woudl fast. I could control myself till about 4. It was amazing. Need to try and see if I can try to not eat till 4 today as well.
    2. I gave gyaan about EBC to a senior from MDI (Visham). I loved it! That was great.
    3. I loved that there was a car at my call to drop me to the hotel. I realized that I love having such conveniences.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. Work. I am missing deadlines on various projects. I need to find a way to not do that. I know I am juggling multiple things. But there has to be a way to manage things better. Maybe not sleep enough. Maybe start the day early. I dont know. I need to find a solution. The life I have chosen will make me chase every opportunty I get. Maybe there is an answer somewhere?
    2. If I could speak to AS, it would have been great. She and I have been trying to talk for almost a week now.
  8. Quote for the day
    You are what you do. Not what you say you’ll do. This is very very important to me. I am often on the side of merely saying. I need to tick over to the do part.

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0. Had one. Regular. Not Diet. Killing myself softly 😀
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 15. Yesterday’s here.
  • Daily Journal – 16
  • Money spent – 2512. Thankfully I am spending less!
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 16
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 16

030821 – Morning Pages

A longish post on the darkness in my head and the light shown by the story of Richard Williams.

5:41. Woke up a few minutes ago.
Saw Whatsapp first thing in the morning.
Saw a video by Vijay Yadav. This one.

Then I saw Nobody’s trailer on AnSr’s recommendation. Here…

Almost cummed in my shorts. I mean the team from John Wick + Saul (aka Bob) + Music + Visual Delight. Wow.

Also, this is the second film since yesterday that I have been tripping over. The first one is King Richard sent by VG.

This film is based on the life of Richard Williams (better known as Venus and Serena’s father). King Richard touched me like no other film has, in the recent past. I mean it talks about an ambitious man that wants to see success through the success of his daughters. Will come back to this film in a bit. Lemme park it here. Point A.

So, I feel human after two days.

Human as in, physically, there are no lingering pains anywhere in the body. I feel refreshed, energized, and all that. It was probably aided by the fact that I have been resting last two days. I had slept at 10:30. So good 7 hours of sleep. Or maybe because I did not eat crap yesterday. Whatever worked yesterday, I hope it works today as well.

In contrast to this feeling of greatness in the morning, yesterday was bad. So bad that it was probably the darkest of the last few days. It may sound like hyperbole but I could only survive because of two things – 1, Naval. 2, my ambition. Will come back to this in a bit. Parked point B.

So, for some reason (money situation primarily), I spent all of yesterday questioning my life choices. I mean where I am is an outcome of the choices I’ve made and the way I’ve acted on those choices. Clearly, I did not do a good job at either (choices and actions). If things were bad just at work / career front, I would still be ok. But things have been pathetic at other ends also. Lemme share a chart that I maintain on my vision board. I don’t think I’ve ever made this public. But here it is. As of today morning.

A screengrab from my Vision Board

I don’t know where I found this chart from but I think it’s a great way to evaluate and measure where life is. And you can then reflect on what needs fixing. On my chart, I can see that I am failing at all 8 important things in life. The only saving grace is my family (and even on that, I choose to live away from my parents).

Of course, like any other thinking, feeling, evaluating individual, I want to fix these. And these dark days are occurring frequently and like Steve would say, if things arent good for a few days on the trot, maybe it’s the time to change those. Let’s see what I change. And how. And when.

Lemme talk about King Richard.

Coming to Parked Thing A, King Richard.

Here. See this. In case you haven’t.

I could relate so much to King Richard. I had tears flowing when I saw the trailer. I bet the film will win all the awards there are! I wager that it would get at least 10 Oscars.

It is after all a story of one man’s fight against odds, the chase of impossible, trust, faith, patience, hard work, grit and more. Oh, and of ambition.

For all the use of the word ambition in my head, thoughts, and actions, I am as big a failure as they come. To a point that it hurts. And it’s suffocating.

The days when I am not busy with the general humdrum of life, you know, the days when you can take a pause and think? Those days I spiral so bad into the literal abyss that I take literally a week to get out of. I must admit that the days I go AWOL on friends and family, I am not physically unwell. Rather I am suffering from dark thoughts about where I want to in life and how far away from that I am. In terms of money wealth, impact, reach, work, fame, notoriety, even fitness. And the worse is that from where I stand, I don’t see things improving at all.

As I age, these bouts of dark days are happening with more frequency (I know I’ve said this already) and it takes longer to get out of those. The escape mechanism I had of taking a car and hitting the road is no longer a viable option. The other escaping method was to eat like a mad man, switch off the phone, and sleep. Even that doesn’t help anymore.

This is where I lean on what I learned from Naval. Will come to it in a bit. I want to stay with King Richard right now.

So, the other thing that I picked from King Richard is the reinforcement of the belief that I will probably not be a massive success as an individual. Rather I may be cut for being that person in the shadows, the one that works with these superstars and shapes them. You know, someone that sees their success come to life via others. In Richard’s case, it was his daughters. In my case, I am not sure. I mean I do have a few young ones that I am investing into. But I am still far from seeing them reach anywhere. I just hope that I don’t end up like Vikramaditya in Sur. Anyhow. Who cares.

I like the idea of enabling others. I just hope I am able to contribute to their lives and make superstars and massive successes off them.

The other thing that I want to talk about, from King Richard, is this entire thing about giving a hard time to the ones that are working for you. Remember Whiplash? I mean the entire premise is this hard-love for talented apprentices. Of course, I remain conflicted about what I take away from that. On one side, I like the idea of hard work, determination, sacrifice to achieve what you potentially can. And on the other, I know that mental health issues are real, especially with the dopamine-laced brains of kids around us. After I saw King Richard, I think I am leaning towards being a tough mentor. But then, to be one, do I have what a Richard had? Or Fletcher?

I dont know. Time shall tell.

Parked Thing B. Lessons from Naval Ravikant.

Lemme talk about Naval and Ambition.

So I read this tweet from Naval that said something like this – you can’t control your thoughts but you can observe them and choose to react to those.

Yesterday was one such day. When I was mindfucked. Probably because I was unwell and there were other things playing on my head. So I went walking. I walked real slow. I did like 5K steps in 2 hours. And while I walked I did not have a companion with me. You know, things like phone calls, music, videos, chess and more. I did not even pause to take photos that I’ve been trying to last few days. I merely watched my thoughts. And I tried not to react to the non-stop dark thoughts about my inability to do things. Or my inability to hold onto friends / relationships etc. I merely observed the thoughts as they came and went. It was tough considering I had to observe traffic in / around Lokhandwala as well. Lol. Bad timing.

So I while I was observing my thoughts, my head kept swirling back to the definition of success that I want to live my life with. You know, the outcome of ambition. It dawned on me that I believe success is the long-forgotten Kabir Das ka doha. It goes…

Saain itna dijiye, jaame kutumb samaay, main bhookha naa rahoon, sadhu na bhookha jaaye

Kabir the poet

Further, here are the things that I thought would look like success.

Mastery over time. When I can be the master of my time with 100% certainty. Right now, I am at about 5% in terms of how I plan my life and time. Long way to go.

Financial Freedom. When I no longer work for money. And I can choose to work on things that I want to, even if I am not rewarded for those things. Right now, I am in debt. So far far away from financial freedom.

Plus, I do not have those ambitions where I want to reduce consumption, etc. I really want a lavish life with all comforts and all that. I want to be able to buy anything from anywhere without thinking about the cost / price.

Giant with a shoulder. When I can support others around me with whatever they need / want. And then I want to help others in whatever way I can!

That’s it. Three things.
Wow, that simple!

Funnily, as I think and write about this, family (my family, not my parents) doesn’t feature in this. Maybe I will change with time. And my personal goals of Everest, Marathon, etc do not fit in here as well. Hmm. Funny.

So yeah.

This is about it from the walk yesterday. A lot of this was probably triggered by King Richard. And by the general failure that I’ve been. Films do have power like no other. Must must must fastrack the non-existent films career. Come on, Universe!

I guess this is about it for the day. Realized, I’ve been writing for almost 2 hours now! Oh, and here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 1
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 145
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had two.
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 30 + 232. Adding this from today on.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 2
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 235