Category: Morning Pages

21 Jul 2024 – Morning Pages

I am back with some braindump. Let’s start.

1/ Work. C4E.

At work, at C4E, we are at an interesting juncture.

We run a stable business and yet we are one mistake away from ruin. From my vantage point, I dont know what to do to fix it. There. I admitted.

The thing is, we run C4E in a unique manner and the world we live in is not designed to allow us to thrive. Of course, we would jostle around and find our spot but till that time, we remain perched precariously on the edge of a mountain and we are one slip away from ruin.

As the chieftain of the village, my only job is to ensure that while we continue to find sharper peaks to scale, we don’t slip down the abyss. And I am sort of out of ideas on how to prevent this ruin.

One of the things that I am thinking about is to push everyone at C4E to put in deliberate effort into building our respective personal brands on the internet.

And this means consistent, deliberate effort to create and share content (in any format of any length). And while that happens, we need to be a part of a community larger than self (or become part of one) and build networks – loose or tight.

Some of us may not know what we stand for (I stand for way too many things and I need to find a smaller list) but that does not mean we dont create, ship, or network.

It is this basic, boring, drudge-full work done over and over again with discipline and consistency that would make us successful. As individuals, as a group and as C4E.

So that.

And to get us going on the treadmill of discipline, I need to probably lead the way. And knowing myself, I suck at it! So that’s some work for me.

The other thing that we can do, while we work as an agency, is to build a content destination that people are willing to pay for (aka subscribe to).

I have tried that in the past with TRS. I’ve even tried podcasts with Podium. But I was not successful with either. I’ve not given up and I continue to think of media businesses. And I take heart from publications like Goya, Alipore Post, Homegrown, and others; and content companies like Humans Of Cinema, Chalchitra and others that seem to be seeing the impact of compounding.

So, could that be a thing that we can build? And yeah, I know it’s 100X tougher to build content destinations unless you have a great Instagram game. Or you have famous people at the helm.

Come to think of it, I’ve had the right ideas at the right time. Just that I haven’t been able to push myself to deliver on those. I need to work on my delivery muscle if I have to make that dent. Or may those billions.

Ok, moving on. This is more like an internal memo.

2/ From RD to Harpreet and to CSS

A few nights ago, I saw a session where a passionate RD Burman fan took a crowd of 50 through Pancham’s biography. Loved it. More than the music and the passion for Pancham, I loved the stories. After all, it’s with the stories you attach meaning.

The more eye-opening was bumping into Gurpal Singh – an actor that I had seen a lot while I was growing up. The RD session was curated by Gurpal Sir. The day after the RD session, I attended a live performance by Harpreet.

Again, the session was arranged by Gurpal Ji.

Both pics were clicked by me, just that the second one had better lighting.

So, the hero of this is neither RD, Sangoi Sir or Harpreet. But Gurpal Ji.

He’s made the effort to create these mehfils and bring people together.

There’s something rustic, something earthy, something homelike in the way he organises these sessions. There’s friends helping each other. There’s no ego. There’s this chai, that someone quipped “as meetha as Gurpaj Ji”.

Then there’s these Kachoris that are bought from some local store and yet taste like no other Kachori I’ve ever had. Mind you, I am from Delhi and I’ve had a million Kachoris from thousands of places. Damn, I want a Kachori now but I can’t – am on 6th day of my Keto.

The point is, Gurpal Ji has shown me the light. And I am inspired to do more things that bring people together.

Truth be told, I did start a series of such sessions with CSS but it has fizzled out after 4 sessions.

On one side, I am sad about it and on the other, I am content that we tried. Also, these 4 sessions did teach me a lot of lessons. I think the model is there. I just need a DRI, some budget and a person to run it full-time. If you are a young college student and do this with me, please write in. Here’s a JD of sorts.

3/ Longevity

It’s no secret that I think a lot about frailty, unpredictability, irrationality and shortness of human life, lifespan and healthspan. Especially in light of my middle age and perpetual struggle with my inability to do great things.

So, I read a lot about longevity. And I found this chart on Twitter that talks about things that impact your life and satisfaction

Among other things, interaction with other people seems to be the top cause of high and low satisfaction. This is probably cherrypicked a piece of evidence to support my belief that we need communities and villages to thrive. The kinds I am trying to build.

In fact, if you look at 1 and 2 above, you’ll notice that both those hint at strong community pieces.

So that.

So this is it. For the day. Let’s see if I can build a daily writing muscle. Wish me luck!

8 Jul 2024 – Morning Pages

TW: Death

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I dont know what to write today.

But thankfully, I was reading a book yesterday and somewhere in it, it asked, “what would I stop doing if I got to know that I had 6 months to live?”

This is my post to answer that. Let’s go!

So if I had 6 months to live, I would do the following

0/ Fix my will.
I have a vague draft here. I will fix it if I could.

1/ Spend time with my parents
In terms of family, I only have my parents, my sis and a little bit of VGs. I haven’t been a good son per se and I would like to live with my parents. Just that I wouldn’t want them to see me wither away.

I think my sis is ok.

VG’s fam is a self-contained unit and I am merely imposing on them. So I will stay away. I will maybe meet them once and give the kids a happy memory to have with them, in case.

2/ I will pay back all the loans that I owe
Today I have a lot of loans on my head. I would find a way to pay that loan back. I dont know how would I make so much in 6 months. I will try and sell my organs? I dont even know where I can go to sell those. Lemme try!

In case I am unable to, I will ask VG to manage that loan for me. Maybe Poo. Not sure if either would take it upon them but I can try. If they dont, I would write an apology letter to my creditors and request them to not bug my parents.

I think that’s all I can do.

3/ I dont want to be remembered.

I dont think I have done anything interesting or large. And thus I will burn all my documents, photos etc. I would delete all my social media presence. I would wipe my drives, computers etc.

I dont know how to do this exactly but I will find out.

I would delete all of my public work – blogs (including this one), books, films etc etc. I would take my name off the films that I’ve been a part of. I would let tnks get lost in oblivion – it already is in oblivion. I would request all the YT videos to be deleted (from others that host me).

I think this is it.

I would’ve loved to have climbed Mt Everest, experienced how it is to be a billionaire, what it feels like to date a supermodel, what it feels to have lived in abject poverty, what having your own child feels like etc etc.

But as I write this, on the 8th of July, I am ok with none of these under my belt. Guess I am almost a stoic.

So that.

—

Chalo moving on. Let’s start the day. Oh, from today on, am going on my strictest diet regimen. I will only eat the dabba I have access to. I have deleted the food ordering app from my phone.

I do have some travel coming up (including an overnight stay for three nights in the hills), despite my not wanting to take it up. So it would be interesting. I will buy a lot of chewing gum and a lot of almonds to get by.

Over and out.

More tomorrow.

7 Jul 2024 – Morning Pages

Wrote this on the 6th Jul. Publishing it now.

Its 6 AM. I have about 30 minutes before I leave for a meeting. And here are the things that I want to write / talk about.

1/ Last few days have not been the best for my head. Money, health, relationships. Let’s just say a lot is on my mind. No, I dont need help, yet. If I do, I shall take proactive measures. I think if I fix my food, a large part of my issues would be fixed. 

1.1/ On the food, I think I will try to eat mindfully from today on. This is my perpetual struggle. I dont know why I want to eat it all. I was talking to someone about it and I realised that my insecurity from the times I have been jobless are so deep-seated in my subconscious that I want to eat it all.

2/ I missed the walk yesterday despite publicly committing to it. I could’ve but I dont know what came over me and I did not. I had the time. I had the inclination. I even made a public commitment. 

3/ 5 days without coffee. If I can manage today, it would be the 6th day. Lets see how it goes. 

4/ I am carrying only the iPad and a book as I step out today. So that’s cool. Let’s see how it goes. I am increasingly trying to go without a laptop. An iPad is a poor compromise for not having a laptop – it’s like a phone and very ineffective. But I am willing to experiment. 

5/ I can feel my age now. I can’t stay alert post 9 PM. I find it tough to wake up. I am not alert at times. Yesterday I noticed in at least 3 calls that I was unable to talk well. 

6/ Track of the day is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pHFJELNKZk. I really want to discover new music. 

7/ I’ve been trying to write a letter to a friend for more than a week now and I can’t seem to find inspiration. I plan to work on it today before my 915 meeting. 

8/ I want to get back to a standing desk routine. I have discovered that I can use a makeshift setup at home and use it. I am writing the second part of this letter from this jugaad standing desk. And I can see myself doing more of this.

9/ 730. I am now at a Starbucks. The chairs here are sucky. I think I will walk a kilometer to go to a Starbucks that has better chairs. I can’t sit here for 3 hours as I wait for a friend to arrive. The only good part is that am not carrying my laptop. So that. 

10/ 7:48. I am at the other, smaller Starbucks where the chairs are nice. 

11/ I had a chat with my folks while I was on the way here. It sucks that they continue to ask me tough questions about money even at this age. I don’t know when would I reach a point where money would stop being a bother. I know I am not prudent with money and I must be. And I will find a way to do so. But at this time, today, my folks are not happy about my money situation and it sucks. 

12/ I think that I am unable to make people around me understand how I operate and how I think. I mean I don’t know how to explain to my friends why do I want to organise even lunches with friends on a Saturday. And then at the same time, I take off for 4 days without explanation to people that I hardly know. I am unable to talk about how I am probably not suited for fancy places and I find myself at home at mid places. This concept of mid-places is also a tad unclear to explain. In my head, I know what a mid-place is. If you are reading this, you know me and you don’t know what a middle place for me is, well 😀 

13/ At #CSS04, one of the attendees told me that I need to stop with the self-deprecating humour. Yesterday I was talking to a young coder and she told me the same. Two very different people who’ve met me in very different contexts have told me the same thing. And I don’t think the two of them even talk to each other. 

Of course, I know that I revel in playing down myself but I didn’t know that it was not serving me. Now I know. I will thus make a conscious effort toward it. I am not sure if there’s a specific way to do this. But I will. May be next time you see me play down, please point it out to me and I will correct myself. 

These playing down things could be one or more of these – “I may not know it all”, “I could be wrong”, “i don’t have a lot” etc etc. 

14/ Do you think getting the subscription to YT Premium worth it? I think it’s 200 bucks a month and I lot more than that right now (I can think of three – 650 for Google One, 650 odd for Netflix, 650 for Apple Storage – and I am sure there are more). 

15/ This working on iPad is not cool. I am unable to get in the flow. Even though there are no distractions (multi-tasking sucks on iPad), I can’t think straight. May be this needs getting used to? I don’t know. I will give this a few more days before I quit. Let’s see. 

All things above this, I wrote on 6 Jul. Now, we are at 7 Jul. Here’s the notes in continuation. 

16/ I slept for 8 hours yesterday. But my recovery is still 50%. I need to journal more religiously to understand why it’s that bad. One large component would be food. That I am fixing from today on. 

I slept 8 hours on the 6th night as well but the recovery is still less than 50%. I think its the diet that I need to now work on. Let’s see.

17/ Deleting all the food ordering apps from my phone. Let’s see how we survive.

18/ I am writing this from a Blue Tokai (and not a Starbucks). BT opens at 7, SBux at 8. This one hour is important.

The only problem is that at BT, the charging ports are less (and my laptop needs to be charged (old you see)), the wifi is poor (and the mobile network is also not the best). So it is not the most optimal place to work out from. Let’s see.

I wish there was a 24/7 cafe around my house. I would have loved to work from there. I can go to the airport but it’s too far from where I live. May be on some days I will go there and work the entire day.

Let’s see what I end up doing.

So, that’s about it for the day (and yesterday).

Over and out.

3 Jul 2024 – Morning Pages

Here’s an attempt to get back to morning pages. Read, point gaps in my thinking and lemme know what I can do better.

I am back with Morning Pages. Let’s go.

I don’t know why I ordered this book. But I did. I normally don’t read a lot. But I read some pages of this book. I tend to like business books – this is anything but that and I spotted myself refusing to put the book down. 

One of the things that the book talks about is that the author’s father would be up at 530 and writing for 2 hours every day. And then he would go about his day. This is similar to the advice by Julia Cameron. And this is what Anjum Sir talks as well. Riyaz.

And I must. And I will. And why writing and why not my single largest goal? Well, because most of my work needs to move people, shift opinions, and persuade and if I am good with my words, it would become easier. Plus at this time, writing would help me get some clarity on my thoughts and open doors. Once I know what I am going to work on, I will follow Mochary’s advice on spending the first two hours of the day on key tasks.

Coming back to this habit of writing every day. There was a time when I wrote every day in the morning. After a while, I didn’t know what to write about.

Now I think I can write about work – after all that’s my biggest thing at this point. No, I will not send emails. I will not make presentations. I will write them and then shoot them out after the first 2 hours are over. I know I will get distracted when I write. And I will thus lean on the iPad to write. I am writing this on the iPad. On Google Docs. I don’t know if I will publish this. But I am writing here because I can’t open multiple tabs. I am writing here because I am not giving in to my habits of checking news, scrolling Twitter timelines, responding to emails etc. It’s 645 and I plan to do this till 730 today. I will try to wake up at 5 tomorrow and then write for 90 mins. I don’t know what I would write about, may be I will make a list and get into the habit. 

Ok, lemme talk about the habit I want to build. And the habits I want to break. 

Lemme give you a gist of my day. 

I wake up without an alarm on most days – typically between 6 and 630. I put on some music. Am listening to a rock music playlist today on my laptop (I picked the mouse to copy and paste the link – but no – no other devices shall be touched). I open my mailbox and reply to things that I think are important. On some days I open my trackers and fill those in. Some days I will open Asana. And then I would open WhatsApp – that’s where all of my work happens. I will reply to any conversations that need my attention, I would give yes or no to things and I would pick up whatever comes to my mind at that time.

Typically things that come to mind are typical tasks that need attention at work.

Here, I want to change my wake-up time to 5 AM. And then write for 90 minutes and then get some sort of yoga / workout in. Maybe I will join Cult – I will check this out today. I will also get myself a Keto meal subscription. Expensive but I will get it. 

I then putter around the house, get ready and leave for Starbucks between 745 and 815 – depending on when I had woken up.

Once at Starbucks, I’d get myself any black coffee and do more “work”. 

To be honest, I don’t work anymore. The team at C4E manages most work. I only pretend. But I want to change this too. I will start putting in the work for the following things… 

  1. SoG Network
  2. Networking 
  3. Design capability 
  4. International Expansion 
  5. Distribution 
  6. Startup idea 

While the focus is these six things, these could take the shape of emails, writing posts for LinkedIn, or connecting with folks. Let see.

May be I will edit these morning pages and put them on the blog (doing it as we speak) – after all an iPad can only do limited things. Maybe I will fill these trackers? Or maybe I will find someone else to do this and put it on WordPress and make a LinkedIn post of highlights and a thread for X – I think I will outsource this – do you know any kid who can do this for me a tiny sum? Lemme put a call out and see where this goes. 

I am trying to avoid coffee – haven’t had it for two days. Let’s see how long this lasts. Also, since I need to order something when am there, I have started to buy sparkling water. And that means I will have a lot of glass bottles around. And I will start putting flowers in those. 

Then around 12, I get bored of Starbucks and I want to go somewhere else. I either go back home (I have started to call this house home) or The Clubhouse. I order myself lunch / snack. I eat and I sleep. I really want to change this. Actually no. I will not change this. I will read if these naps are a good idea – if they are, I’ll continue. If they are not, I will quit. If naps are not good, I will stack meetings around lunch.

I put an alarm if I have important calls. In case I don’t, I leave the house and step out. I don’t have a specific destination in mind. Starbucks mostly. Some days, Infiniti Mall. Some days Blue Tokai, some days Jamjar, some days Clubhouse. Somedays random new place. I need to break this habit and find a place to go to – may be a coworking place. Maybe Clubhouse. Maybe work from home – I do have a table that I can work on. So, I don’t know. But I need to get out of this habit of whiling time. Maybe I will stack all my calls in this time. I can mould my team and most clients to accept that calls can only be done post-12. 

Post that I try and go to the beach. I want to add a habit of taking a picture each day and putting it on Instagram. Oh, I will remove Instagram from my phone and put it on the alt phone that I will not carry with me. 

And then I come back home and as a matter of habit order some kachra (I am deleting Swiggy also from my phone) and then eat it while I play chess (which I recently deleted) and watch reruns of FIR (I will quit this too). And then I while some time on Instagram and then sleep. I want to add some meditation before I sleep. My life goal is to have more meditation minutes than AK. 

Most days I sleep after 10:30. I want to sleep around (if I have to get up at 5). To be honest, I have it all that allows me to do so. Most times I can control my work. Most times I can push dinners to 730. And I must. 

I think if I can run this routine for a month, we should be ok. I don’t have any travel plans for the rest of the month. I need to be in Delhi for a meeting but that is towards the end of the month. So all is well there. If I can get a routine going for even 25 days, starting today, we would be ok. 

So that.

Lets see where this goes. 

Wish me luck. 

PS: Here are some gaps.

  1. I haven’t allocated time for thinking (deep thinking) here. 
  2. I am not sure if I will follow this routine. If I can do this from today till the Delhi trip, I think I would be ok. Let’s see. 
  3. Original note here that I have edited.

071121 – Morning Pages

A quick note from how I spent yesterday. It was not the best days per se but I am inspired to make today a better one.

Morning! Straight to the point.

Here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :). Even though I did not get a lot of things done, I was engaged and I was happy. I guess this is cos I met people and talked about work and life.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1. I am better than zero. And less than 2 of yesterday. I focussed largely on things but I was unable to not context swtich.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I am able to find things that allow me to create opportunties for myself. This is something that has held be in good stead.
    2. I have access to people that allow me to engage in deep conversations about life and all. I love those. These conversations help me evolve into a better human. I am hoping. And this betterness allows me to help the ones around me do better.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Work. Mr. Garg, you need to buck up, please! There’s a lot open on your plate.
    2. Work. I mean it.
    3. Work. Really.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I am a superhero and I will save Mr. Garg from drowning into the pile of misery that could potentially fall on his head if he does not work.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I met a client and talked to her about how her podcast can go further. I hope they action it.
    2. Decoding Draupadi took birth. Thanks, PS and CM.
    3. Had these amazing momos at Ladaki at Galleria. You must try em when you are there.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I had carbs, late night coffee, wine and I dont know what all. Need to avoid these strictly. I wont be able to control today either – I have a lot to do and I need simulants. Sigh.
    2. While I was checking in the hotel, I lost my shit with the front desk staff. I was tired and all that. I shouldn’t have. #note2self.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Not giving up is the only way to get to where you want to be.” – Harshit

What do I want to add beyond the journal? Quick commentary.

In a broad sense, yesterday was a bad day. I had carbs, coffee, and wine. As a friend quipped, Gurgaon is making me into an alcoholic. So, I am glad this trip is ending soon.

The highlight has to be the epiphany that I am at a place in life where I cant do things by myself. I can only give gyaan and hope others would do things. Along with a few colleagues, I am trying to build up a new idea. On that, the only thing am doing is giving gyaan and I am loving it. The team may hate it but I am on a literal trip. I put in less than 5 minutes a day on it and I can see the ball rolling already. That’s the kind of thing I want to be doing. Guess it’s the age!

The other thing that I want to catalog is that I am no longer taking those copious notes that I was taking till before I left for the Base Camp. Guess I’ve been busy? And no, I dont like this. I dont like not taking notes. I dont want to miss out on things. I want my notes to help me remember things. I want to grab each opportunity. This being busy is great (I am thinking less and executing a lot) but I am not building my repertoire. I need to get back to spending time with my notes / dreams / ideas etc.

Finally, the highlight was that I had a fascinating conversation yesterday with someone about life, age, death, and meaning. I wish I could reproduce it here. In one line, the other person thought I was afraid of dying (I was telling her about my will and my wanting to die the richest man in the world and my Memento Mori wallpaper) and I told her that I am afraid of the uncertainty of the afterlife (if there is one) but I know it is an inevitable end that all of us will have to reach at some point in time. And I told her that death inspires me and tells me that my time is limited and I need to act. Actually must write more on this. Let’s see when I get to do this. Adding to #toWrite list.

Ok enough for the day. Need to get going. Need to crunch a week-long worth of things into one day. Let’s see how I do this. May the force be with me. 

As I end this, here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0. Lol!
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 4. Yay!
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 31
  • Money spent – 2999
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 31
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 31

061121 – Morning Pages

A new format of doing these morning pages. Start with journal, add some commentary. And then end with the trackers. What do you think?

7:13. Slept at 4 something. Blame it on all the coffee I had. The good part is that I ate very little and I did not have Diet Coke even though it was a stressful day. So, pat on the back for that.

In terms of the update, I want to experiment with doing just the journal and see what I write. And once I am done with it, if there are things that I want to add onto, will add. And then I will add the trackers. Lemme know what you think of this new format. If these are still interesting for you to read? I mean I am a random guy on the internet. Would you want to read the musings in such an open manner? Is living in public cool?

Anyhow. Here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :|. I was not happy per se. But I wasn’t sad either. So that.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 2. I think I did ok yesterday. I focused on one task at a time and I did serial multitasking. If I can amp it up, I will be ok. So +1, Mr. Garg.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I can find a comfortable bed most times I want to. This is a big big blessing. Grateful for that.
    2. I am grateful that I have access to enough water, at a time I want, in a shape I want. And I love sipping onto it. As I am writing this, I am sipping on to warm water.
    3. I can choose how I want to spend my time. More or less. I mean right now, I would like to be with my parents but work demands that I spend time away from them. But within that, I can choose my time and all that. So that.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I have a lot of important things open. If I can work on and close those, it would be awesome. These things affect my work, my present and my future. All at the same time. It would be great if I could get those things done.
    2. If I can make do with OMAD, nothing like it. And if not that, I need to eat less. And eat well. You know, good things – no sugar, no carbs, no oil etc.
    3. If I could avoid giving into temptations (of any kind, that appeal to any of our senses), it would be awesome.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I can consistently create amazing opportunities for myself and my loved ones.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could avoid eating kachra. Even though I had the opportunity. And access. And on top. whatever I ate was healthy. I mean I am assuming it was healthy. And I avoided Diet Coke. I did have couple of coffees but that’s ok. I will reduce that also as we get along.
    2. I tried to and successfully avoided context switching. It felt great to actually see things happen. With context switching, I open a lot of threads but I have a tough time closing em. If I can make this a recurring habit, I think I would be happier. So, more of it today.
    3. The cab ride from home to Gurgaon was fabulous. Even though it was dangerous, I loved the speed, the control of the cabbie and the wind in my (non-existent) hair. I just wish I was the one driving. I miss driving. Must get a car soon. #note2self. No, not before I take care of the debt.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could have avoided coffee, it would have been fab. Today as well, I may not able to avoid. I have a meeting that I need to be at where I will be forced to have coffee.
    2. I was up till 3ish. If I could sleep on time, it would have better. I know sleep is important for functioning but I was unable to. Guess I will have to avoid coffee.
    3. If I could end the day with a dinner with someone, anyone, it would have been better. I like the idea of meeting people face to face and I feel off their energy. I ended the day on the bed staring at my phone. Rather I should have been sitting across a table and chatting about plans to take over the world 😀
  8. Quote for the day
    “Leave people better than you found them.” – Anon

What do I want to add beyond the journal?

I would have liked to talk more about context switching. But that’s a subject for another post altogether. Which knowing me, would never happen ;P

Also, the sections in the journal are overlapping. I need to find a better way of doing it. May be I will talk to SM from whom I literally copied this (see this thread) and I will ask him for his thoughts on the overlap. Let’ see.

So, as I end this, here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 3
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 30
  • Money spent – 3654
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 30
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 30

051121 – Morning Pages

The the day after Diwali, here are some firecrackers from Will Smith!

8:09. Home.

I Hope Diwali was great for everyone. Here’s to new beginnings and may each of you get what you wish for. In case you know me and trust me, send me your Diwali pics? You would have my number!

So in terms of what to write, for some reason, I am blank af. Let’s see what I come up with in the next few minutes. Lemme dump the things that are at the top of my head.

  1. am starting the lo-carb life today. It would be tough to manage it with all the travel and stress and all that. But I will. 
  2. I am thinking where to go live after 15th Nov. I want to not live at home and yet I want to be close to Delhi. At least till the 10th of Dec. I am leaning towards Gurgaon. Let’s see.
  3. Post the 10th of Dec, I will most probably be in Mumbai for a week or so. Thing is, I am driving to Goa from Mumbai on 21st or something. So I need to be around Mumbai. Lets see. May be Pune.
  4. There’s a lot of work open at my plate. Since I dont have a lot of pressing client calls today, I will probably focus on those and get those done.

While listening to music, Youtube played this Will Smith video where he’s talking about his upcoming book, Will. See the video.

Fuck the guy’s insane!

I have to have to have meet him someday. Universe, please make my dream come true? Not sure what I would do when I meet him, though! 

Of course, the cynic in me says that it’s all coordinated marketing efforts. I mean three-four things all at the same time – King Richard, Welcome to Earth, Best Shape of my life. And now, Will. All in Nov-Dec! All at the same time!

But the dreamer in me says, why not? The guy has what it takes to release all these at the same time! 

And here’s a quote. From Will. I may have used this earlier. “The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on a treadmill together, there’s two things – you are getting off first. Or I am gonna die. It’s really that simple.” 

See it here.

That’s about it for the day I guess. More tomorrow.

Here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :|. Even though it was Diwali, I am still unable to find what would make me happy.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1. I think I was a tad better. I did not multitask while doing whatever little I did. I kept my phone on the side for the large part of the day.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I have enough water to drink when I want to.
    2. There is enough potential work on my plate that makes me want to get up everyday.
    3. I stumble onto people like Will Smith that by their thoughts (at least) are very very inspiring.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. If I can finish pending work, it would be great. To do so, I need to go sit at some Starbucks. Let’s see which one I end up going to. Most probably, somewhere in Gurgaon. There’s a lot open 😐
    2. I am so pumped looking at and reading about Will Smith. I hope all that pump translates into action!
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I will do what I have set out to. Not eat carbs. OMAD. Nothing that fucks my body. I need to be fit af.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. Diwali! My entire family was together. That was amazing!
    2. I went for a walk around my house home. It was probably a 500-meter one but it was great to have my limbs move again. I realised how much I love walking. I wish where I live was more walkable.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I did not do any work. Even though I had the time, I did not touch work. I should’ve.
    2. I would have got some 100 messages about Diwali. I did not know how to respond to those. I am weird like that. I dont know how to be festive. This is the reason I escape on my birthday. I make a big deal out of it. For no reason.
  8. Quote for the day
    See above…

And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 2
  • #noCoffee – 2
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 29
  • Money spent – 0. Was home and did not spend a single rupee. Yay!
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 29
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 29

041121 – Morning Pages

Here’s a morning pages on Diwali.

8:48. Home.

I have started to do a new thing. Rather than the morning pages on this blog, I start my day by writing an email to Team SG. And then I copy-paste it here and redact some parts of it that I want to keep within my team. So while I still live in public, I get even more honest than I can be on a public blog. In fact, I want to reach a point in life where I am able to open my emails, WA chats, and conversations to the world and yet sleep in peace. I know I am far from that but I hope I am there someday.

So, yesterday was a blur. I dont even know where the day went. I did nothing significant or special. I dont know what it was but I was literally a zombie. I, as they say, sleepwalked thru the day. I slept at like 9. And then I woke up at 8ish. 11 hours. For someone like me, if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get mindfucked. So there.

Anyhow, Today’s Diwali. Happy Diwali to each of you!

Growing up, Diwali was an important festival. For two reasons. One, each Diwali, I would come back home to my parents from wherever I was. Most times it’s been easy. At least since 2010, the work I do allows me to control how I spend time around these large festivals. Super grateful for that. Two, I’ve for some reason treated it as the beginning of the new year. Not sure if it’s true. But it has stayed with me even though I have stopped identifying myself as a Hindu. So, to date, I consider this as a new beginning and I try and start planning the next year with all the gusto that one can imagine. 

This year is no different. I am home. Yay! And I have started to think about what I’d do #in2022. I just realized that I can type started with just the left hand!

Here are the top three things that I want to do #in2022. These are in order of priority.

  1. Get debt-free. I will not commit to anything that requires substantial money till I can pay off my debt. I will continue to take smaller shots and make tiny investments (these are the ones that create opportunities for me) but I will pay back the loan by end of 2022. I cant live with the stress that I have people that I owe money to. 
  2. Write book2. I have been dreaming about it since 2013-14. I need to write it. I know what I write may not make a lot of noise but I have to have to have to write. It’s something that gives me my identity. Everything else, every other attempt at getting an identity has failed. This is the only one that I think I have left. 
  3. Get fit. I hate the days when I am unwell. Like yesterday. From today on, I am getting mindful about what I put in my system. I am not eating carbs. From tomorrow. Today is the last day of carbs. Ok. Lo-carbs. I cant remove carbs altogether. And I will get regular with yoga at least. I can’t work out and I can’t run. So, yoga! As they say, yoga se hoga! If I have to wake up early for that, I shall. 

Apart from these three, I have a million things that I want to do. I will talk about those as I get along. Funny, money doesn’t feature anywhere in this list. Let’s see when I get to that. 

And here’s a large decision. This somehow dawned onto me as I was waking up. That I would write book2 in public. From 15th November onward, I will replace morning pages with text for book2. And try and complete it by end of this year.

I will seek help from the community and I will post updates on Twitter and Instagram and all that. I will share chunks of unwritten texts. I will talk loudly about my process. And I will seek support and inputs from people on how the book is shaped. Even if the book becomes stale and no one buys it, I will tom-tom about it.

The morning pages would be reduced to the journal bit. Let’s see how the experiment goes.

That’s it for the day.

As I end this post, here’s wishing each one of you a very happy Diwali. I hope the year ahead is full of love, luck, happiness, and abundance. For you, your families, your loved ones, and everyone around you. May each of you gets everything you seek. And if there’s anything I can do to push your agenda ahead, please please do let me know. 

And here’s the song of the day – Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Here…

And here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :(. I have no recollection of the day apart from one or two calls. Was like a zombie!
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I tried sitting down for a session of Headspace but was interrupted.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I was at home and I could sleep in peace. On a day when I wanted to sleep and rest it out.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Letter to bade log. I need to send it today. Most of it is ready. Today is as good a day to send as any.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I have what it takes to create opportunties for people around me.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could sleep ok, on a day I need to sleep. That was amazing.
    2. I got an opportunity to write for a film. I may not be able to get it but at least I had an opportunity. That in itself is great. Need to capitalise more on these.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I did not feel so sleepy throughout the day, it would have been better.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Luck = Opportunity X Preparation”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 1
  • #noCoffee – 1
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 28
  • Money spent – 3856
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 28
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. I sat down yesterday but I was unable to.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 28

031121 – Morning Pages

I talk about festivals and unreasonable people moving the world and making us humans!

7:49. So, the Diwali cheer is in the air. There is lights all around and it’s a fabulous scene! I am in Gurgaon and the lights are brilliant. To a point that I would have loved to just drive around looking at the gorgeousness that us humans are capable of creating. Of course, one may argue that anything we create would never be as gorgeous as what Mother Nature planned so effortlessly. But still. It was gorgeous to walk around. 

Anyhow. I like when the world outside is decked up like that. I wish the decking up was a year-long affair. Well, not really. Cos if it was decked up all year long, people wouldn’t feel special about the festivals. You know, how you respect and love things and are attracted to the ones that are rare? That! 

Thing is, to me, the meaning of festivals has changed over the years. It was mostly religious when I was young. And then it became an opportunity to meet friends and family and spend time together. Then it became a ritual – you know, a thing in a year that I would do with my family. Something that I know my parents would look up to. I mean I am assuming they looked forward to it. Not sure if they did 😀 Anyhow, Now it has become a time when everyone is on a break and I can use that downtime to think more and do more. I am sure in another few years it would become an occasion to take breaks!

The point is, festivals are lit! And here’s a film that I love AF. Love Actually. It’s a film about love and belonging and seperation and togetherness. Around Christmas, New Year etc. Here’s a song from the film. See it. You know, I often see this and pine to have a love thingy like one of these people. Lol. 

Moving on. 

The highlight of yesterday was that I had this epiphany about being an unreasonable person. So the people I am working on an event with, the owner of that agency is the most polite, humble, good, kind, AND the most unreasonable man ever. 

Let me about his unreasonableness. He is the kinds that will go promise the world to the world. And then deliver. Despite all odds. Anjum Sir said in a class once, “with you, without you or in spite of you”. Anna is like that. If a client wants it, Anna delivers. Inspite of all odds. What’s amazing is not just his ability to deliver things but the fact that he’s got a team of people that can move the mountains to ensure that whatever Anna has committed is done. Come what may. 

That is the thing. Unreasonable man. A team that is dying to deliver what the unreasonable man wants. Each of you needs to become unreasonable in your expectations. Each of you needs to find people that you will give an arm and a leg to deliver what you want. And not in an authoritative, abusive, bossy way. But in a way that everyone is aligned to deliver on that. Everyone understands that the magician, the unreasonable is being that not because he is like that but the unreasonableness helps me create opportunities, reputation, and a virtuous circle that elevates everyone! 

So that. Here’s a question. Who is the most unreasonable person that you know of? Tell me more about him / her. 

And here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :). Was an ok day. I juggled multiple things at work. I managed them quite ok, I guess. I went out for a dinner with some colleagues I am on a project with. Met a friend for wine and all. In all, a nice day. Could do with more such days.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I did a 10-minute session of Headspace but I am still not being in the zone.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. People generally tend to like me, trust me. I am grateful that I give out such vibes.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Work :D. I have a few things open at work and today most clients will not be working. So I will have some peace with it.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I am an unreasonbale man and I take shots that are out of my league. And once in a while, I hit those. And it’s pretty amazing when that happens.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    Can’t think of anything specific. It was in general a good day!
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I got late when I had to meet a friend. I should have been on time. I hate it when I am late.
  8. Quote for the day
    “It is the unreasonable man that is responsible for all the progress we’ve made as humans.”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 27
  • Money spent – 4148
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 27
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 27