Month: September 2023

Untitled – 27 Sep 2023

An untitled rant on what’s been up with me.

Today’s one of those days that I haven’t had in a long time. And I shouldn’t be. I mean I am in a different country, on a leisure trip, visiting a friend (and his daughter, aka heir to my assets), sitting at a comfortable cafe, sipping onto a 300 Peso iced-tea (terrible TBH), away from all the rigmarole of life in Mumbai. And yet I have had a terrible terrible day. There’s nothing that has changed from yesterday. I woke up without an alarm. I had a healthy-ish breakfast of dry fruits, an apple, and some more fruits. I walked to the cafe that I work out of. Saw Lecture 9. Got a few things done. Went back home. Ate home-cooked delicious food. Slept after that. Back at the cafe. So, in theory, all’s ok.

Maybe it’s the aftermath of old age. I turned 41 and I don’t think I’ve done even 4 things to justify my existence. Maybe it’s my general need to be by myself (while I have taken enough time for myself on this trip, I had planned for 100% seclusion and I was unable to). Maybe it’s my ability to do things that I had wanted to do on this “break” – eat better, swim, walk, write, learn, etc.

Whatever. I am not feeling it today. And I dont know how to fix it. If I were in Mumbai, I would have ordered some random food – dal, Maggi, samosa-pao, or whatever and then would’ve slept while seeing FIR or Taarak Mehta. I know none of these is healthy for me but I would’ve. I can still do all these but remember, I am trying to be better?

So that.

Anyhow. Lemme write some random updates. In no order.

1/ AGI is here and I am still trying to make ends meet. I think this could be the root of all my problems. That I don’t have access to great things happening in the world around me. I am merely sitting by the side of the road while the world solves engineering, intellectual, scientific, philosophical, and all such problems.

2/ A new challenge. I will start it on Oct 1. I will work towards doing 100 push-ups per day. I will start on Oct 1. I will do as many push-ups as I can. And then each day I will do one more push-up than the previous day. Some days I will not be able to add that last straw on the camel’s back. And that’s ok. But I will add one more push-up. Till I reach a point when I can do 100 push-ups. This would easily take me more than 100 days but I shall try.

3/ I’ve been tripping onto this song since I first heard it. I would’ve heard this a hundred times already, if not more.

4/ I have been away from social media and it’s not bad. I mean I’ve been checking Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn but I have not engaged with anyone or seen what people tag me for. I am merely using that to distract myself.

And I think I can continue to be that. Just that I need it for work. So maybe I will make new accounts where I only talk shop and delete all personal ones? Or do people want authenticity? I am not sure. Let’s see where the vibes would take me.

Ok, what else to write? Not sure. I can pick this up tomorrow morning and write again. But I don’t want to wait till tomorrow to publish. Maybe I’ll write a continuation post to this post tomorrow if I am up to it.

Whatever it is. Time shall tell. For the time being, time to shut this and go to sleep. Over and out.

Hello 41!

Here are some thoughts about things that I want to prioritise and focus on as I turn 41 years old.

Now that am just a year away from finding the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, here are a few things that I would do with whatever time I’ve left.

Starting today.

These are not in any order.

1/ Get more anal about my time.

Truth be told, I am very very particular about how I spend my time. With less and less time available to me here, I would become even more particular about how I spend my time. If I can, I would outsource, delegate, or defer things that I think do not deserve my time.

I would spend most of my time with people who love me (parents, M&m, friends, etc.), people who helped me when I needed help (way too many to list here), people who I work with (in my case a lot of people I work with are the people that love me and vice versa). In that order.

And then if there’s time left, I would think of other things.

2/ Make fitness my #2 priority after time.

This has been a goal since I can remember. And I have failed at it consistently. I recently weighed myself. I am 93 KGs (even though I am 35 inches around my waist). I think my body is dense (which is a good thing) but I need to find a way to get healthier. I do not want to wither away. I do not want to be a vegetable. I definitely do not want to be a burden. So that.

I know I have been gloriously lazy about this. I know I can’t work out (hernia and ankles and extended tailbone and all that) but I can definitely do yoga. I need to find some classes. I don’t think I have the motivation to do it at home with a remote teacher. Now that I “live” in Andheri West, I am sure I can find something that I can walk to. And since I can choose how I spend my time (see #1), I should be able to get that going. This is to happen from 2nd Oct (once am back in India). And then once I get regular at it, I will try to learn swimming (will have to quit Yoga to move to a place that has a pool (Wadhwa)).

While I do this, I will fix my food. I don’t have an option to cook but I know I can spend money to find a way to eat better. Oh, and 8 hour sleep.

3/ Become high-agency.

This one is simple. This thread explains what’s high-agency. Do read this. I read this often. I read it again while writing this piece.

I think I am already high-agency.

I would go higher, and become even more high-agency. Till the time I am the man on a mission and trying to close as many things as I can.

3.1/ I will become a closer. I realize that I am not one. I am at best a thrower of multiple darts, hoping one would hit the bull’s eye. I would create a deliberate life. For myself and the ones around me.

4/ I will travel as much as I can.

I have come to realize that I miss travel. I would thus not leave any opportunity to hop onto a plane, a train, or a car.

No bus. Lol.

5/ I will identify a thing that could become my life’s mission.

At this point in time, SoG looks like it.

I will spend a large chunk of time on making it substantial and larger than me or any one individual. Read this and this. I am sure I’ve written more about this in more places as well. Will compile those.

6/ I will close all windows before I sleep. Each day.

See this for context. This means I will return all phone calls, overcommunicate, and close loops on each open thing. I would also endeavor to respond to emails within 24 hours. If not action, I will make the other side aware of the action. The world runs on tacit agreements, assumptions, social norms, and expected conduct from people at large. I would become the torchbearer of great behavior when it comes to being prompt.

The Closure

7/ I will try and learn new things.

I have been fiddling with a guitar and a uke for a while. I have been tinkering with Webflow for the last few days. While I worked on webflow, I realised that I am my joyous best when I am learning new things. Webflow is the right thing for someone like me – not very tough, not very easy, doesnt require any foundational knowledge to build on top of, its simple HTML and CSS on steriods (something that I am aware of already). So that.

So, yeah! That’s about it.
Over and out. Time to get serious about time.

Gratitude,
SG

PS: I wanted this list to have 41 bullet points. You know, 41 for 41. Just like I made 40 things for the 40s. But then I couldn’t think of more. If you know me and you think you want to help me become better, please do recommend more things that I could do with whatever time I have left here. And no, I have not forgotten those 40 things that I need to do in the next 9 years.

40 things for the 40s

PPS: Of course, I have come to accept that I may not be as big a deal as I had imagined I would be when I was a child. And I know that I would probably never be like Steve or Paul or any of those people (see this TED talk). But I know that I can be like a Drona. I wrote about this this week only. Maybe I need to take one more shot before I hang my boots?

PPPS: I just uploaded my will. Do make one for yourself. It’s a very sobering and humbling exercise!

Marathon vs Sprint

If you need to build a deliberate life, you need to know which of the two (consistency or intensity) drives you. I try and find out about myself.

When you run, you can do it in two different ways. Both may seem similar but they differ widely. These are Marathons and Sprints.

Of course, both need passion, training, instinct, and superhuman effort. And while the things you need in the two (the technique and the methods and the skills and all that) may differ from each other, both demand you to put in the hours and the practice.

To illustrate the two, I will lean onto the two GOATS of running – Kipchoge and Bolt – to make a great example. Both of them need teams – probably more so in Kipchoge’s case (pacers etc.) – but they are individual personification of achievement of a team.

Marathons

The man who has become synonymous with marathons is Kipchoge. While each of his achievements needs a tome of its own, the most incredible feat is his sub-2-hour marathon.

Marathons need tiny steps and consistent progress over a very very long period of space and time. And because it’s repetitive work over and over again, these get boring.

The keywords are consistent, drudgery, long-term, and boring. And in one word, marathons require consistency.

Sprints

The GOAT of sprints is Usain Bolt. If you want an idea of his greatness, see this.

Unlike a marathon, a sprint needs a burst of energy that you typically expect from a rocket ship. It starts with a big bang, requires you to give all you’ve got, and you have to last till you tide over the finish line. In the case of a rocket, the momentum takes it ahead. In the case of a runner, they end their sprint after a few hundred meters. You blink and you may miss it. It exhilarates the runner (and the audience) and is over before you know it.

The keywords are fast, energetic, and exhilarating. In one word, sprints require intensity.

So, why talk of Marathons and Sprints?

Well, in life and in work, you can operate as a marathoner or a sprinter.

You could build the marathon muscle that will help you work for at least the next 10 years – you know, perseverance, patience, long-term thinking, politeness, relationships, delayed gratification, tiny successes, and all that.

Or you could develop the sprint ability to live each day like it’s your last. Things like high-risk-taking ability, love for games of odds, acceptance of impending doom in the wake of failure, a tinge of irrationality, and all that.

Most people I know of who’ve been able to build a great life for themselves and others around them have been marathoners kinds. Yes, there are a few who’ve taken the fast road to riches but then they are few and far between.

And if you are like me (an ordinary person with average chances), your odds of success would become far far better. I mean look at me. I’ve been on it since at least 2014 now. So 10 years. And I still don’t know where I’d end up.

However, like most advice on the internet, there is no one size fits all. While the idea of being a marathoner is true in general, there are two exceptions.

A/ Are you driven by (and built for) intensity? Or consistency? There is no easy way to find this out. Look at what you’ve enjoyed in the past – Short bursts of focused work or long spells of meandering? Ability to obsess deeply over a problem for a long time or quick fix solutions that are fast and easy? The ambition of making an impact over a large parcel of humanity or living the life of a free person on a beach?

B/ Does the work you do need intensity or consistency? For example, if you are in the business of films, you could give one superhit and then do nothing. And come back after a few years. In your lifetime you would probably make 20 films. No, I do not mean you would not work on your craft while you are not making films. It means that you will immerse yourself in a piece of work and forget about everything else. Any “project” business would require intensity – you know, website design, art, books etc.

On the other hand, if your work is to operate a cinema hall, you need to open the hall every day and sweep it and place the new films and sell tickets and all that. The only way to make it big there is to continue working for years and scale the cinema hall into a chain of screens.

These two questions would help you figure out where you want to be and how you want to live. And once you know what you are suited for, I think creating a deliberate life around that should not be tough.

No?

PS: This is not one of my best posts. But I had to post.

PPS: While I was writing this, I realized that I need to find work that allows me to get into medium-term sprints (say 6 months) and then allows me to switch off for the next 6 months. I think it boils down to consistency. Look at Ankit – mad respect for his consistency. I don’t even deserve to mention his and my names in the same sentence!

Of course, I don’t have it in me to be consistent but I can be patient AF. And maybe that could be a place where I could live at? You know, regular sprints for a long time!

What do you think?

Arjun vs Drona

I talk about Arjuna and Drona and I talk about how I need to tame my wants of being one and train myself to be another.

You know of Arjuna. And Drona too. Probably the most famous guru-disciple pair in the world. The two were made for each other. The guru would not yeild. The disciple would not give up. The guru wanted nothing but complete submission and dedication. The disciple couldnt see anything but the eye of the bird. The guru wanted nothing but respcet. The disciple captured the kingdom of Drupada to salvage the guru’s respect.

Like most characters from the Mahabharata, both Arjuna and Drona have multiple personalities, are often open to interpretation and deeply flawed.

Look at Arjuna, arguably the greatest warrior of his time. On one side he’s a good son, an obedient brother, and a doting father. And on the other he’s taken shortcuts, partidipated in killing of his clan (even if it was for the greater good (what even is greater good?), including his very guru) and stayed silient when Draupadi had to go through the humiliation.

Drona had his share of flaws as well. The most famous is the episode with Eklavya. As a guru, you ought to be impartial and yet for Arjuna, Drona asked for Eklavya’s thumb. Some versions of Mahabharata claim that Drona did not like anyone but his own son and all that happened (Arjuna coming on top et al) was an accident.

I’d never know the truth but I do know that Arjuna was indeed a great warrior and Drona, a great guru.

And this is what my post for the day is about. Arjuna and Drona.

Lemme shift topics.

The thing is, each person here belives they are special and they deserve the best and they will conquer the world and live a life of riches. Even the most average people consider themselves special (hello Dunning Kruger). In modern parenting, we hard-code into our kids that they are special. They may very well be. But then by definition, there can only be one Sachin, one Ranveer, one Shohei, one Serena, one Arujna, one conquerer of worlds, who’s kirti traverses the tribhvuan.

I was no different. I have lived all my life believing that I am special. But as I turn 41, I realise that I may not be as special. If I am, I dont see it. I mean I live the most ordinary life for a 41-year-old. Heck, its not even ordinary. I am in deep debt, I dont have a family of my own (I belong to my parent’s family), I dont know what am supposed to do in life (this post is an attempt to find an answer) and I dont have a path that if I walked on for a few more years would take me to salvation. Whatever salvation is. I mean I dont know what Arjuna did after the war was over. Such a waste of talent to have won the war and then nothing from there on. I get it that he was like a warrior in the garden and his mere presence kept peace in the region.

I was digressing. The point is, each person lives their lives assuming they are special and they prepare for, they wait for greatness. All their lives are spent working towards that moment of truth when the greatness would be unveiled. And there are many – from each child in India preparing for a shot at cricket glory to each person in the bylanes of Aram Nagar acting and dancing hoping to make it big on the silverscreen to each student at engineering colleges across the country wanting to do a startup that would become a unicorn eventually to more such places where the odds of wild success are tiny and rewards for even mild success are grand.

Like I said, I am no different. At least from the time I realised I was a good coder at at obscure college in Delhi university, I have believed that I am special. I am sure I would’ve felt great even before that (thanks to my genes and me going to nondescript schools and all). And I have lived as if I am a big deal and I’ve never sweat on the small stuff. And I think it has served me well. I have taken the tougher road and I have even had to beg, borrow and steal to be able to survive. All in the hopes that some day it will all make sense and the end would justify the means.

But lately I am having second thoughts about things. May be this is what mid-life crisis is all about (here are my other pieces about this). You see your friends and acquaintances and everyone else doing well and you start to compare and you dont know what to do. And since I know that time and life is a one-way street, I know I can’t do much about my failures as a talent.

But what I can do for sure is, become a Drona. To potential Arjunas. You know, something like Richard to Serena and Venus (see this), Mahavir to Geeta and Babita (see this), Ramkant to Sachin, Maggie to Roger and JP (see this). Yeah, yeah I am inspired a lot by films. No wonder, filmmaking is a not-so-secret desire.

Of course the skills and talent I need to be able to be a Drona and do this vary widely from what I have prepared all my life for. And that’s a journey I need to go on. I dont know what is that path. I dont know how to prepare for it. I dont know what I need to undo in my personality. I just know that I have to do it. I owe this much to me. And to universe that has made me who I am.

While I do this, I need to be careful. I need to not become Vikramaditya. I need to try and not fall (this is probably going to be the most difficult thing ever). I need to get over with the guilt of being yet another in the long queue of “those who can, do; those who can’t teach”. And I know I will never be the person in arena and thus I need to build empathy.

Lemme take a break reproduce the text about the arena – this is a very powerful piece and you better read.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Shame on the man of cultivated taste who lets refinement to develop in to fastidiousness that unfits him for doing the rough work of a work day world.

Theodore Roosevelt

So that.

I need to accept my failure to be the Arjuna and pivot to being a Drona. And I need to become better at being a teacher, a mentor and someone that young ones entrust. I need to learn how to detach. I need to be able to be a better Drona and not get attached to the people I work with. I can not live vicariously. I can not create these young ones into what I couldnt become.

And most importantly, I need to find young ones that are willing to be my guinea pigs and submit their lives to me.

This, I think, is it for the day. Over tomorrow.

The Closure

A life lesson, some ways to be a better child and discovering freedom.

TW: Talks of life, death, aging parents, and all that.

On my last trip to Delhi, I met a senior from MDI (let’s call him A) and we got talking about aging parents, time, regrets, closure, and all that.

He and I faced the same dilemma – on one side both of us wanted to be good children to our respective parents who are aging fast; and on the other, both of us wanted to chase our respective bliss (family and career in his case; more travels, money, and dreams in mine). And both of us wanted both things at the same time.

A simple solution could have been to co-live with parents – like families in India have lived for centuries. But the vagaries of modern life, the stubbornness of old age, and the enthusiasm of infinite ambition make it tough.

I mean, at least in my case, I can NOT live in the same city and thus not in the same house as my parents. My work, my life, and my ambitions are in Mumbai (and inshallah, at some point in the near future, out of India). My parent’s whole life is concentrated around a 500-m road, a park, an army of domestic helps that they manage, and neighbors they’ve lived with for more than 35 years now. The only time they leave this geofence is to visit doctors. They go on travels once or twice a year, for about two days, and are content with that.

A’s parents are home-bound as well and they live in a small town about 150 KMs away from him. One of his parents is bedridden and needs 24-hour assistance. His parents also are geofenced to their neighborhood and the townsfolk that they lived with all their lives. ce In my case, this distance is about 1400 KMs. A’s work requires him to be in a city and the parents can’t leave their row house and the familiarity of the town to move, even if they want to be with their kids.

When I met him, he was exasperated at the prospect of staying away. I had a more morose emotion. I was disappointed, sad, and full of guilt that I was not being a good son. I mean I want my parents to be with me. And I want them to be comfortable. At the place I am in in my life, I don’t have enough to get them even a room of their own in Mumbai. Plus I will move out of India soon (I don’t know how to do this with my aging parents needing constant medical supervision). At these times, I think that I should’ve done a Naukri long ago and with time I would have made enough to have a house that my parents would have converted into a home.

Anyhow. Rant.

Coming back.

In that conversation A made a very pertinent point. I don’t recall the exact words he used but here is my articulation of that. He said that we need to be mindful ALL THE TIME that EACH interaction with our parents could be the last one.

When I first heard this, something snapped in me. While I can see my parents growing old and fading, the reality of them not being around me never occurred to me. I know it’s inevitable and I am a hyper-realist, I should’ve thought of it and planned for it. It reminded me of this post by Tim Urban about the time of life. I had read it a few years ago but the chat with A reminded me of it all over again.

So, A further said that since life is so unpredictable and so fragile, you never know what will hit you when, and often you may be left with things unspoken, unsaid, unexpressed. He then said that each time you speak with your folks, you need to get closure on each conversation, however small, tiny, or insignificant it may be.

Again this closure thought had never occurred to me. Like all things in life, I assumed that it was an ongoing relationship that would stretch to infinity. No, I am not dumb and I am aware of the shortness of life (and the importance of the sense of urgency) but it never dawned on me to get closure on simple conversations. Reminds me of my thing with “closing windows” when I sleep. Reminds me of the frailty of human thought and emotion in the wake of uncertainty.

In fact, most relationships go sour when this closure is absent from them. It could be as simple as saying sorry for the time you snapped. Or could be as large as being at the bedside when someone passes away. Even when someone is leaving the city, the action of dropping at the airport and checking in once they have reached is a closure of that “transaction”. I have famously shied away from these. To the point that I find excuses to not be around when someone has to go. I can’t say goodbyes, even when I know that they are going to a better place. And of course, there have been times when I was denied the opportunity to say goodbye. It still inches often. I regret that I could not. For example, when Poo left, I wanted to hug her tight at the airport but I couldn’t do that. Fucking Samaaj and all that. Not just with friends like Poo, each romantic relationship I’ve had since the beginning of time, I have not got closure. And at least in two of those, I did not offer closure. With my conscious as my only alibi, I know that I tried in both cases but I could not. I needed to try harder. Now, it’s going to be too little too late. I mean how do you tell someone you loved with all your head and heart that the neverending, forever love couldn’t stand the test of time and withered away? How do you tell someone you shared a room, a house with that you don’t feel as special about them as you did once upon a time? How do you tell them that you don’t feel loved when you are around them?

Anyhow. Rant. Again. Arrghh. Need to be better. Coming back. To A and our conundrum.

So, in an ideal scenario, both A and I wanted to be able to chase our bliss while keeping our families together (in A’s case he’s got a wife and two kids and then A’s wife’s parents and all that). If the two things (bliss and family) could intersect and coexist, nothing like it. But they clearly aren’t.

So there are a few options that we seem to have…

A/ Give up on bliss and go family first
A decision that millions of people make every day. And there’s nothing wrong with it.

Come to think of it, at the end of the day, all of us are dead and life has no meaning per se. We are all just space dust floating around without a destination or a reason. Don’t want to get started on the raison d’etre narrative. Will take another million words.

B/ Find a way to chase bliss while you are near them.
So, in my case, rather than being in Mumbai (or out of India), build a life in Gurgaon / NOIDA, etc.

This seems plausible but I am not sure if I want to do this. I don’t like the weather (winters I love but am not okay with heat). I don’t like the lack of professionalism. I don’t have the flexibility or the freedom that Mumbai offers me.

Wait. I think all my decisions in life boil down to this one trait – freedom. I don’t know why though. As a child or a young adult, I have always had the freedom to do more and thus I don’t understand what demon am I running away from. Or what goal am I chasing. I mean, in each thing I do, I seek freedom – not wearing shoes, not submitting to a calendar, not conforming to a dress code, not sitting on the window seat in a plane (cos I want to escape from the aisle fast), not wanting to not drive while I am not in a car. I can list a thousand quirks that make me and I am sure I can trace all those back to my want of freedom.

C/ Accept the inability to be a good son and drop that and chase bliss.
Even if I am unsuccessful at it.

I mean I am 40 41 and I still need to scrounge around to make ends meet). Thanks to the people that work with me, I am able to earn some money but if I look at my life and my work independently, I think I can do more. LOT more. I was destined to change the world. Right now, I am having trouble changing the wifi network on my phone.

No, I do not write this from a negative lens or from a place of self-pity. Neither do I expect any slack from anyone. I am very very grateful for my life and how I’ve been lucky. I mean I write this on an expensive laptop tethered to an expensive phone that has two high-speed internet connections, sitting at a premium cafe in probably the most expensive neighborhood in a country that is not home. And I am here for no reason. How many people have this? Few! So, I am ok.

Just that I am aware of the gap between my potential and my reality. And the opportunity that fate has given me. If I don’t bridge this, it would be unfair. Of course, life itself isn’t fair but we all try. No?

The only open window would be that in chase of grandeur, I would have neglected my parents. And that’s not a good thing.

D/ Find a compromise.
What I am doing right now is a compromise. I travel to Delhi as much as I can. And I continue to try and build a life that I like. I am not doing any of these things well but at least I am trying and doing as much as I can.

Like most things in like, you become a reflection of what you tried and what you left behind.

That!

No. I am not clear on which of the four paths I need to take. When I wrote this, I was leaning towards B and C. When I read this again before publishing, I thought D was the best. So, I don’t know. Let’s see what I end up doing. Stay tuned to find out what I did ;P

Lol.

Okay, this became a long rant. If you’ve made it till here and you want one takeaway from this 2000-word piece, let it be this – our lives are fragile, and unpredictable and we need to aim for closure in each interaction we have, especially with our loved ones.

Over and out.

Hello, September!

A short note on how 2023 has been to me.

The 9th month of the year is here.

The year started like yesterday! I mean I can’t even recall where did all this time go. All I have is this blurry vision of things and experiences and all that. Lemme see what I remember without any aids. And I will write about these in the order they come to me when I think about the year gone by.

  1. We cracked a few clients for C4E. And we are growing. In case you are looking for a great place to work, consider us. See this form. Now to do more things with C4E and move in more zones.
  2. Poo went to get herself a better life. I miss her but I am happy that she’s doing what she’s been trying to do for a long long time.
  3. I was in BKK for a trip that was supposed to be 2 weeks long but I had to cut it short to 3 days. I have another 2-week trip coming up. I am hoping to not cancel that.
  4. I got a new rental house in Mumbai. While I was transitioning between these houses, I lived in shitty hotels. I continue to not like the idea of living with friends or relatives.
  5. I decided to take C4E in a high-performing, high-gear mode and I failed at it. I did not push my people more. I could’ve. I tried. But the moment I made some changes, I could see the cracks. I pulled back. But we need to become stronger.
  6. I was in Delhi for a few days and I realised that my parents are getting old and they are fading fast. This is as polite and respectful as I can be about their age. So that. And since I have been thinking about this post from Tim Urban anyway, this visit was a stark reminder of the frailty and impermanence of life. The worst part is that you fade away. I think that’s a bad way to go – on one side, you can say your goodbyes and get closures and all that. On the other, you see former strong people as weak and frail. I dont know what’s more damning. Anyhow.

So that!

These are the things I recall. Lemme check my notes and see what else happened in this year that is worth capturing.

So, I checked my notes and I realised that I had remembered the key events. I would have wanted to change the order of how I remembered but that’s okay.

So this is how the year has been. Fairly ordinary. No large impacts. But then, it’s ok. As long as I’ve been able to manage to stay sane and engaged.

That’s it for the day. I am off to my annual break in less than two weeks. While I am there, I will try to eat better, write and think about life. Let’s see what the rest of the month holds for me.

Over and out.