Tag: People

27 Aug 2024 – Morning Pages

I’ll start with a Silicon Valley cliche. There are decades when nothing happens and there are weeks where decades happen. 

Yesterday was a day when I think decades happened to me. And I probably aged by a decade. Apart from my echoChamber, I want to capture it on a public forum as well.

Here we go.

Oh, before I talk in detail and get into specifics, play this and let it play in the background as you read this.

Eddie – Guaranteed

Ok, now that you have the baritone of Eddie talking about how you ought to live life, I can talk.

I will talk about 5 things.

A/ Feedback from a senior agency person

Met a senior person from the agency business. I told him about my plans to take C4E in the big league and start pitching for projects at the intersection of modern marketing, digital, strategy and others. And compete with the likes of Ogilvy and others.

He snubbed me.

He told me and C that what we do is crap and he has no confidence in us being able to deliver large things. 

Which is ok.
May be fair.
But then on deeper introspection, I realised that maybe, just maybe he doesn’t understand what am trying to build. Lemme try to articulate again.

I want to build the world’s largest, richest, most impactful business. I want to play at scale. I want to move humanity and make us thrive, live better and all that. I want the workplace to be respectful, kind, hardworking, aciton-first and more. But…

But…

But I dont want to do this on the back of broken souls. I dont want to tramp over others. I dont want to make it toxic.

Now, when I hear things like, “make 200 calls, get 50 meetings, and convert 10 businesses”, I think, it’s a piece of fabulous advice for folks who want to use people as replaceable objects. But not me. I want to give a safe, kind space to everyone to find their bliss and get paid well while they do that. In such a business, we need people to be self-motivated, high-agency and respectful towards work. After all, for most of us who are not artists, we have to find meaning in what we do.

The thing is, if we are lucky, we’d have something to lean on that fills our soul. Some people find it in art. Some in sports. Some in code. Some like me, in business. Some dont find it at all. And it is in those cases that you have to latch onto something and make it yours.

When I see a younger colleague getting disrespected by saying “without disrespecting your age or experience”, I dont want to run that in the first place. If you have to add a disclaimer before you speak, it’s better to not speak.

When I am told that my work won’t cut it, I want to hear more. But about how I can make it better, not a rant on how it’s bad. I want to be pointed at flaws and not be told that we can’t do it.

So that.

Ok. Over this one. 4 more to go.

B/ I let go of one more person from my life.

I have this friend. Her father says a brilliant thing – he says, “is insaan ka panna faad diya“.

Lemme try and explain. Imagine our life is a notebook. Each person in our life is a page. And you can add as many pages in that notebook (once you meet new people). And then the page can extend to any length (depending on your relationship with them). And like any well-used journal or notepad, it can extend in all directions.

However, once you sort of break your relationship with someone (say, someone moves away from your life, someone does something uncool etc etc) you tear their page from your notebook. And then that’s that. You stop bothering about them. They become a stranger. You operate from a place of indifference. You are kind to the world, you are kind to them. You wish them success but you shall not partake in that. If they need help, you are not proactive. You let them come to you. So on and so forth.

He of course has a far deeper reason and philosophy. What I wrote is mine.

And yesterday, I tore one more page off my book. I wish the individual all the luck. I continue to love but I am no longer invested.

So that.

Oh, before you move forward, you may want to see this tweet.

C/ “15 lakh karte ho, 3 gaya, 12 bacha, 4 ek aur hai, 8 bacha. Band kar do“

Last evening, I was talking to a very close friend. The kind whose words mean the world to me.

While talking about something, C4E came up and I told him that I’ve lost a client. He said, “15 lakh karte ho, 3 gaya, 12 bacha, 4 ek aur client hai jo kabhi bhi chala jaaega, 8 bacha. Band kar do“

And it hurt.
Like a bitch.
It was probably meant to hurt.
It didn’t hurt this bad when the love of my life walked out of my life.

I think this made me realise that am probably very emotional about my work and this thing that I’ve created.

I was so fucked in the head that I couldn’t sleep well because of this. Kept thinking, tossing and turning in the bed. But then Whoop tells me I had 53% recovery with about 6 hours of sleep. I know that it was not good at all. Makes me even question the efficacy of a Whoop. And as a professional sleeper, both these things (not being able to sleep well and Whoop being unable to catch my sleep) are not cool.

Coming back.

So, it hurt. And I can either let it continue to hurt me. Or I can fix it. And no points for guessing what I would do. And I need help. Hands and heads. Lend me? And point me to others who I can take help from?

And to start with, I will shut everything that distracts me and I will work hard on taking C4E to an unbreakable place.

D/ Case of online bullying

Someone close to me was bullied online. And since this person was close to me and it was unprovoked bullying, I was angry. As fuck. If the bully were around me when I got to know about it, I would have probably caused hurt.

But am glad the dude lives in Noida.

In a mad rush of blood to my brain, I decided to seek retribution. To be honest, this is not like me. I dont do things like that on impulse. I think and act.

But, I wrote to the CEO of the company he works with (to make the company aware of the kind of people they’ve hired) and the college the bully went to (to check on his records and hopefully get some action). Made a LinkedIn post. Sent DMs. Considered filing a cyber crime case (but the portal was too complicated to have my complaint go thru and I did not try again).

But then I realised, an eye for an eye will make the world blind.

And thanks to Jagdish’s Bruno, I realised that anger is not the place to operate from (but bravery is). And I anyway know that empathy is a good place to be at.

Probably the boy is troubled. So I have decided to let the person go with a stern warning. Hope it fixes him. I will deliver that today. And I will of course close the loop with all the people that I wrote to.

E/ Hurt by someone close

This is the last one from this long rant.

I love a lot of people. To the point that it’s tough to manage egos and all that of all those people. I really go out of the way to make them comfortable, liked, respected, taken care of etc etc. To the best of my ability. Often at the cost of hurting myself. And with little expectation. You know, like Danveer Karna.

I just think there’s so much fuckery in the world. If I could be that island of sanity in their lives, why not?

And despite all these attempts to make someone feel good about life and all, I probably am unable to do enough to keep them engaged and happy.

So that.

Ok am done writing.
Like I said, I aged 10 years in one day.
And I am taking my lessons away.

In the end, so much of what I do, and how I do is about people. And then like life has taught me, EVERYone leaves. See this tweet. It makes me wonder if I were a fool to have taken this path.

I have seen friends, partners, colleagues, and even lovers leave me. And I may not admit it too many times but it sucks to be walking alone and sleep on an empty bed and not having anyone to look after you when you fall. Like I said, I give more than I can and often at great consequence to self. And yet people go. Leave me alone. And I am left wondering where did I go wrong.

Anyhow.

Wait.

Oh, I know there’s their side of the story as well and I know they had reasons for moving on. So I can’t blame them. Just that since everyone moves on en masse, there must be something wrong that am on to. And that’s what I need to discover and find. If you know me, help me. Point out flaws in my thinking.

Chalo, over an out.
From a decade older SG 😀

Untitled – 24 Dec 2023

A short note on things clouding my head. There’s no structure to this post. Read. Or ignore. Your call.

The last few days (three weeks or so) have been a whirlwind. I was on a stressful project that needed my attention. Now that it’s behind me, a sense of normalcy has returned. Plus the world is on almost a break for Christmas and New Year and that means there’s little pressure to get things done. And that means I can sit and dream – my most favourite thing to do.

Along with daydreaming, I am thinking a lot about how I’ve spent 2023 and what I hope to do in 2024. I wrote this when we started the year. I don’t think I’ve done even 1% of what I had planned but the year was remarkable in its own way. The three most important things would be (in order)…

  1. I started paying off the debt I had accumulated around COVID-19. I haven’t paid all of it yet but I have started to repay.
  2. I was able to build a team of sorts (we at C4E don’t really have any “employees” but each person who calls C4E home is a partner and if not a business owner already, will own some soon). And may I add that EACH person on my team is incredibly special. At times I can’t believe my luck that I’ve been able to find support from so many people.
  3. I was on the road a lot. And I loved it. And it was a big big win! I took 30+ flights and I was in Dubai, Manila, Bangalore, Delhi, Goa and more. I would’ve loved a lot more travel but as I grow older and go deeper in work and life, I think it’s actually an impediment. More on this in a bit.

Lemme talk of each thing.

1. Debt
This is the largest thing, to be honest. As a 41-year-old, to me, this is the single most important driver of things. I am ok with not having anything that makes my blood boil. I am ok with not having any large why to live. I am ok to vegetate and disappear when my time comes. But I am not ok to have this unpaid debt on my head. COVID-19 was a very interesting period and 3 years after the world was shut, I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Team C4E
If you know me, you would know how much I talk about my people at C4E. What started with Pooja has today become a 10+ people-strong setup. We could get started cos Pooja transformed the lone nut in me into the crowd that we are today. We are still far from our tipping point though. We remain unique – no one is an employee and yet almost everyone believes C4E is their home. The keyword is believe. And home. And while we want to be a good marriage of family and sports team, to me, we’ve had a brilliant start. Now, I need to this setup into a company for the long term. Let’s see how this goes.

3. Travel
So while I love to travel, I am realising that it’s incredibly hard to build things while you are on the road. When you’re travelling, you have no fixed rhythm, routine, desk et al and you are unable to get things done. Yes, I am talking for myself. I know of tons of people who live on planes and yet do grand things.

In fact, I’ve made a conscious decision to not travel anymore for the rest of the year and I will avoid as much as I can. My sis is here from CA and I could be in Delhi but I am not going (that’s another thing that I dont like Delhi so much that I am choosing to not to be with my fam). I am scheduled to be in Bangalore on the 17th of Jan for a few days and then in Dubai towards the end of Jan for a fortnight. I will avoid all other travel as much as I can #in2024.

The other thing with travel is that you are unable to focus, you dont get to eat well, your clothes are always dirty and smelly and piled up. You can’t think even though you are bombarded with so many new things!

Anyhow.

So that was the top three thing.

There are quite a few things that I’ve been thinking about the last few days. Lemme write about dump those.

A/ The unfairness, disparity and stupidity of life
The other day some of my friends went for lunch at a fancy restaurant. They ran a bill of 33K + taxes for a party of 9 (including kids). I realised that 33K is almost the same as what I pay someone who starts working at C4E (we pay 30K).

And I was left with a question – why would I “invest” 33K on a meal when I can pay someone that kind of money to someone to add value?

So henceforth, I will NOT go to a restaurant where the per head bill for a proper meal is more than 1000 bucks. I would like it to be at 500 but the work I do requires me to meet fancy people and thus I need to be more extravagant. So 1000 bucks.

I will also not go to a place where we are consuming alcohol – it’s the best way to run up a fat bill. Last night 4 of us from C4E had dinner and we paid 2700 odd bucks. 1100 of that was for three beers. Sigh.

B/ Suvi Chawla
I’ve written about Suvi a lot. And I can write more about it. Till I get tired. And then still more. He’s had an immeasurable impact on my life. More than anything else he taught me how to produce and direct events. And this knowledge has helped me build C4E. Heck, we were C4 Events before we became C4E.

I recently did an event that went like clockwork (except for three mistakes) and I couldn’t have done that with the training I got under Suvi’s wings. So, been thinking a lot about what I’ve learnt from him and what I can teach others.

C/ Panchgani
I was there last week. I think it’s a place where I can retire.

It is a tiny town with one market that sees all the action there is. Everyone knows everyone else. There is hardly anything to do there except, well, I dont know. The weather is perfect. The hills are not too steep. The distance is a tad more than my liking (about 6 hours from Bom) but that’s ok. I’ve written a lot about it in the past. Must find a way to write more about the place. And the people.

D/ Jigsaw puzzles
On a whim (prompted by BVHK), I bought myself a Jigsaw. And started on it today. I’ve done a few in the past. Let’s see how this one goes.

Here’s how it looks right now…

I will try and upload this as it starts to take shape.

E/ YearCompass
I’ve started to work on my 2024 YearCompass. If you are the kind to think seriously and plan for the year, you must use this tool. Trust me when I say this, this is one of the best structures you can use to reflect on your past and plan for your future.

One part of figuring it to look at the previous years. I found for the last 2 and I flipped through those, I realized that nothing ever seems to change while there is change all around us.

I will write a longer post soon where I talk about my plans for 2024 (including what went right and wrong in 2023). And I will write at least three sets of emails – one to the C4E Village, one to select people who have had a large impact on me and one to the entire world.

So that!

F/ This video.
I dont have the words for anything else. Watch it for yourself and decide what you care for more as an Indian.

And that’s that. And the end of this post. Thank you for reading.

What the heck is C4E?

A braindump on how I think about life and work and what I am building at C4E.

Here’s a brain dump on how I think about C4E and who we are and what we do and where we want to be.

Disclaimers. 

  • This is a brain dump. 
  • This is how I think today. Now. 22 Mar. 19:51 PM.
  • Could change / evolve with time.
  • Not seen by anyone else yet. 

So, among other things, I want to establish C4E as [1] a great business to [2] do great business with.

And a [3] collective of businesses, each with the same ethos, each a part of the cult, each tapping into the same resource pool. Each with an intent to be larger than C4E!

So three things. 

  • [1] Great business – C4E has the greatest people.
  • [2] Do great business with – C4E does great work, if not the greatest.
  • [3] A collective. 

Lemme talk about each of these.

Wait. 

Before I take up these things, have to repeat what Naval Ravikant says: “Play long-term games with long-term people.”

We MUST be long-term people for each other at C4E. And for our clients. And we MUST play long-term games.

Coming back…

[1] Great business – is one that is made of great PEOPLE.

Where people trust, value, and respect each other. Where each person is treated like a person. And not like an object / a thing / OHR ID. The #culture must speak for itself.

At C4E each person MUST chase their respective bliss. Each with an opportunity to do great work in a safe space. Each paid as much as they’d like to be. Or enough to afford the lifestyle of the top 1%. Each with the freedom to work how they want, when they want, on what they want.

Each is a part owner. Each with their skin in the game. Each with ability to live their life the way they want to. Or as we call this in our culture book, each with the ability to choose their own adventure.

At C4E, each person must tap-dance to “work” each day. Each person must “want” to work harder than anyone else. Not because they are expected to. But because they want to. And of course, work smart. More importantly, each has a lot of fun while they work.

So, people first. ALWAYS. 

If people at C4E are engaged, they are in the zone, they are inspired to do great things, we as a business would do well. Even if the times are hard and projects are tough. 

You know #c4eCult 

[2] Do great business with. 

This is simple. We at C4E HAVE to a great business to work with (if not the greatest). While this great / greatness is tough to measure, I believe that a good metric could be…

  • repeat clients
  • referrals 
  • number of heated conversations

While we may not be good / best / brilliant at what we do, HAVE to be the MOST relentless, resourceful, flexible, polite, honest, straightforward, hardworking, smart-working, jugaadu team. 

PS: EACH word here has been used after a LOT of thought (which is unlike me).

And while we do all of the above, we HAVE to be the team that stands by clients through thick or thin. You know, like, friends in need. We want to be around our clients come hell or high water. Our clients often find us standing two steps behind. If not next to them.

We are your wartime consigliere. We are the ones that you can lean on. We will hold your flag high. We will give it all we have. In the words of Will Smith, we are not afraid to die on the treadmill. We will NOT be outworked. Especially when you need us.

PS: we are VERY VERY selective about whom we work with. Even though we are small and it’s tough to survive on a day-to-day basis, we are sure about not saying yes to anyone whom we dont get the right vibes from!

So that. 
Happy people. 
Better work.
It’s that simple.

[3] A collective. 

I am VERY very sure about this. C4E may look like a marketing / communications agency right now, we are MUCH MUCH more than that. We are like a group of superheroes. A collective of people with the grandest brains, unbridled ambition and keeda to do more.

Always buzzing with energy, ideas and all that. Always willing to fire before we take aim. Always wanting to do more. 

Each person at C4E HAS to be special. Each has to build a thriving business with C4E as its incubator. Each must use C4E as a sandbox. Each must take energy from each other and catapult each other higher than what each could individually do!

Right now, some of these that I can talk about are Purple Pencil Project, The Red Sparrow, The Podium, Decoding Draupadi, Titan CS, LHV and others. Right now, C4E is bigger than the sum of these. Some day, each of these HAS to be bigger than the whole of C4E. See this tweet by Elon Musk.

So that.

Recapping… 

C4E has to be a great business to do great business with. And we are a group of tightly-knit, exceptional people, giving our best shot at solving tough problems. And while we do that, we are trying to chase our respective bliss!

If you think you want to be a part of this, come join us! We are really good people to work with!

Really.

The Party of 9

Imagine a roundtable of really smart, interesting and talented people. Each from a different line of work. And now imagine you on that table!

UPDATE (07 April 2023): I was unable to garner interest for this version. I shall try again in May 2023. Thank You!

Here’s an invite to be on an incredible roundtable of interesting people!

So, the other day some friends and a few of us from C4E met (see this tweet).

There were 9 people at the table and on it, we had a filmmaker, a standup performer, a literary editor and a few marketers. And people there ages between 19 and 45. And the conversations were rich, deep and meaningful. We talked about great pieces of work, creating things, creative blocks and other such things. We gave each other feedback about various things that we were stumbling with. And each conversation was passionate, polite, respectful and full of laughter. 

At that table, I realised that I need to be on more such tables where each person is carefully handpicked and comes over to listen and to share and to meet others and all that.

This table, to me, is similar to those Salons of the yesteryears where interesting people gathered in the company of other interesting people and helped each other grow their network and knowledge. You know, helped each other stand on each other’s shoulder and see farther. 

This is also similar to the concept of Mastermind Group by Napolean Hill where a group of people draw from the knowledge and experience of others. 

I can find similarities with social clubs, networking groups, alumni groups, religious affiliations and more. The point remains that you’d do better in the company of other people. In fact, like they say, if you are the most intelligent person in the room, you need to find a new room. This is your opportunity to be in a room where you have more interesting and intelligent people than you. 

So, I hereby propose that I will host a brunch for 9 people on Sunday the 9th of April in Mumbai (somewhere in BKC / Bandra). Each of these 9 (8 apart from me) would be handpicked. And then if this goes well, I will do this every month.

And this is your invitation to join the party! 

What happens there?

You and 8 other handpicked people gather around and spend 2-3 hours.

For the 2-3 hours you spend with each other, expect to hear stories from others about their lives, the moments that shaped them into who they are, the challenges that perplex them, and the questions they need answers to. And the same for you! 

Think of this as a curated networking opportunity.
You could be 18.
Or you could be 81.
You are welcome!

Oh, and 9 becuase I think the best conversations happen in small groups (of about 5 to be honest) and I want to see two groups getting created.

What is this not?

Here’s a list…

  • This is not a dating service.
  • This is not an activist club.
  • This is not a place to host politically charged conversations. Apart from politics and religion, any conversation is a fair game.
  • This is not a place to solicit business or investments. If something comes out of your meeting with people and you enjoy chatting with one or more, you, at your risk may engage with them even after lunch is over. 
  • This is not a coaching class. Just like Fight Club, if you are at the party, you better contribute.

Why am I doing this?

I may be 40 but I need to learn more, do more, grow more. This is my attempt at creating luck. I want to be around interesting people!

How would I select people? 

To be honest, for the first one, I think I’d have to drag people. If by any stroke of luck, I can get more than 6 requests to join, I will pick the ones that I find the most interesting!

I will also try to pick people from different disciplines so that we have a wide range of people to connect with.

If you’d like to be here, please fill in this form. 

Money?

Whatever the bill of the place is, we will split it 9 ways.

I will pay for 3 guests – myself, a guest of honour and a young person sponsored by C4E. Each attendee pays 1/9th. I am assuming it would be about Rs. 3000 per head 

No, I am not making any money from this.

Any more questions? 

I am on @saurabh on Twitter. Or email me at sg@c4e.in.

Oh, as I end this, I am reminded of this quote by Jack Kerouac. He says,

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

Jack Kerouac

This is my attempt to surround myself with the mad ones. If you are one, or if you know one, do let share this with them!

See you on the 9th April 2023 dont know when 🙁
Over and out!

Loose Connections – The Holy Grail to Networking

If you want to network better, you need to become better at creating better (and more) loose connections!

This is a rehash of an old SoG Letter that I wrote way back in Jan 2019. Original here.

So, what is ‘Loose Connections‘? 

There are two kinds of connections that you make when you network professionally. 

A, Strong bonds. 
These are people that you implicitly trust. These are the people that will have your back in case you are stuck. These will stay with you through thick and thin. These typically are people who you grew up with, the ones that say next to you in college, the ones that you hang out with on a daily basis. And so on and so forth.

B, Loose connections. 
These are people who are at a 2nd or 3rd-degree of separation from you. These are the people that you wave at, at the water cooler in your office. These are the ones that you know live in your building but aren’t really friends with. These are the ones that you respect but for some reason, you’ve kept a distance. 

So why do I talk about loose connections? 

I really, sincerely, honestly, dil se believe that these loose connections are more powerful than your strongest bonds when it comes to pushing professional / work agendas. 

At least in my life, I have seen these loose connections giving me more work, leading me to more opportunities and opening more doors for me than the best of my friends with their best intentions could.

From things like my first book to my blogs to job opportunities to freelance gigs, I can track them back to a combination of strong bonds and loose connections working together. 

What about you? Which “kind” of connections has helped you in the past?

And as I go along, I am actively working on creating a super large pool of these loose connections. You know, like they, I know a guy that knows a guy? That! 

And how do you forge these loose connections?

Simple. Go out and seek such opportunities. 

For example, a few days ago, I went out with a few folks that I connected with on Twitter. In that group of people that hung out together, we had three travel enthusiasts, one legal expert, one stand-up comic, a videographer, a digital nomad, and one right-hand person for one of the leading fashion designers in the country. It was an eclectic bunch and the conversations had the best that I’ve ever had in life! 

And how do you create opportunities?

Here are three steps that I have used in the past. 

1. Identify the thing that you want to work on. Identify the top 1% of people in that trade. And identify the kind of work you want to do.  

For example, I am working on this film these days. And for that, I need to know EVERYONE that is in the trade that is in the top 1%. And because I want to be on the business side of films, rather than looking at people like Amitabh Bachchan, I am keen on talking to people like, say, Manish Mundra. Or Sandip Bhargava. 

2. Look at the kind of people that these people talk to. Get into a conversation with those people.

These Manishs and Sandips of the world would be busy and may have very limited time to give. There is absolutely zero chance that these people would talk to me. But the people that work for, work with, work under these people would be a little more approachable. And thus I can get into a conversation with these guys a tad more easily. 

3. Add value. 

This is the most important part. Rather than mere chit-chatting with them and getting into a social conversation, can you add value? Look for things that they are stuck with. Open those doors. You know, be that loose connection that could help them untangle things that they are grappling with. And don’t do this with the intention of getting something in return. Add genuine value to people. Be of real help. Open doors. And then sit back and let the magic happen.

That’s it!

Do let me know what you think.
Oh, and read Go Giver. Really. 

And while you are at it, do read how you can kickstart your freelancing career in 2023.

060821 – Morning Pages

A list of things on the top of my head. This includes money, twitter, movement, Dr. Peterson and more.

6:42. Just woke up.

Less than a month to go when I leave this house. Couldn’t be happier. I just hope the next one I get to is better than this one. I think the way to make it better would be to find a house in a new building, on a higher floor with little furniture in it. Let’s see when I do that. Not till Diwali for sure. But whevever I do, these variables have to be kept in consideration as primary. And then secondary ones will include things like access to a Starbucks, commercial / cultural hubs, promixmity to whoever is the friend at that time. Etc. etc.

So that.

Chalo, lets start the day. And with things that I am thinking about.

A. Money

Lemme start with the thing from the top of my head.
Money.
Mine. And others. Others that work with me.

Thing with money is, it enables you to do more. It makes you free. It gives you access to things that you did not have otherwise access to. It helps you push things and go into unchartered places. It helps you grow. It gives you confidence to do more things. It is the thing that moves you. Plus, the world also works in a funny way. It rewards people that alreday have the money! I mean it’s the rich that can create opportunties and make more money along the way. Of course a few poor ones make money as well but those are that. Few. Few and far between. Generally it’s the rich. Money gets you more money.

Ok. I am getting into a rant.
Lemme track back.
And talk about the money for others that I work with.

So, I am directly responsible for a team of almost 13 people. Indirectly many more. But these 13 people, I am their primary source of revenue. Each month, on the month end, I am thinking about how would I pay these people on time. Somehow it works out!

And no, I dont pay them a lot of money but I do pay them as much as I can. I know that it’s not enough. Not even enough for them to buy a coffee at Starbucks on a daily basis (what I do!). And I want to change this. I want to be in a utopian world where everyone has the money they need to live life the way they want to. You know, not worried about meeting the basics.

Thing is, I want to pay my people enough so that they can live happily and engaged and all that. I am lucky that most people I work with understand where I come from, see that I am doing the best I can and thus they support me. I am sure they feel the lack of money (I feel!) but they dont complain.

The thing is, this house of cards hangs precariously on my ability to get work. Last year, during the pandemic, the house literally crumbled and if not for a few friends that extended loan and gave me work, I would probably be forced to let go of people. That time’s passe.

Now that I have some work on my plate, I need to find opportunities to grow, make more and then make some more. And of course use whatever I make to support my people. Again in the best way possible.

Thing is, money is never enough. It’s like playing a game. You know, you reach a certain level. And then you want to move up to the more difficult and advanced ones. Similarly, you reach a certain stage in life and you want more from there on. And money fuels this never-ending ride that keeps going to the moon and beyond. And I dont want to be that rich dad that just keeps giving without a concern for how that is being spent. So, I have to be this judicious old man that can predict how much a certain person with their personalty and lifestyle needs. And wants. And then, I want to give them more than their needs. And yet, not feed their wants.

The other thing is that most people I work with are in this (with me) because they see me as someone who’s got his heart at the right place. So that’s a good thing. Plus, most of these are in it for their respective passions (and not just to have that “work-life” balance thing going for them). And I anyway want to run my team, my setup as an entrepreneurial one where each person owns the thing they work on. Even if there is no money to be made per se. They must own a piece of thing they work on. I want to show them the “the vast and endless sea” and make them “to yearn” for that.

Ok. Moving on.

B. Dr. Peterson

I am back to seeing Jordan Peterson’s videos. There’s this pattern that I’ve spotted. Everytime I am little fucked about things, work or otherwise, YT throws either Peterson or Seneca at me. Really. So I dont know how the algorithm knows how I am feeling but it does!

So, Dr. Peterson is controversial but his takes are fascinating and I think I like what he says. I am still not deep into what he says and I only see edited, highlights version of what he preaches but I can relate to a lot that he says. From male dominance to power to relationships to individuality and more. I wish I could attend some sort of a long-form course where he talks about life and philosophy and all that. I saw these videos over yesterday…

Fuck, the range of people that I am influenced by is so wide. Steve Jobs, Dandapani, Jordon Peterson!

Anyhow. Moving on.
To movement.

C. Movement

In other news, I was talking to someone yesterday and I realised that I am a doer and a lazy bum at the same time.

Doer – I like to make things move. You know, cause movement.

Lazy – I dont want to do things myself. I’d rather put in some people to manage those ideas.

So this combination makes me a weirdo. Need to think more on this as I go along. Could be important. #note2self

D. No Twitter

So, I havent been on twitter for some 10-12 days now.

I do check it but I dont post it. I dont engage with people. I dont expect replies. I dont mindlessly scroll what people are posting. I dont bookmark threads hoping to never revisit / read those.

This staying off has been good. And bad.
Lemme try to tabulate things.

Bad. Twitter was like my mouth piece. My echochamber. I would let a lot of unfiltered thoughts move onto paper in shape of tweets. And then basis of feedback (if any) I get from my followers, I would shape my thoughts and opinions. Now that I dont have Twitter to post emo-tweets and all that, I am thinking about things all the time. I am unable to get negative thoughts out of my mind. And thus I am regurgitating those all the time. You know, from concisous to the back of my head to back to the front again. And it’s not cool. I think I am losing my stoicism! Lol! ;P

Often these thoughts / ideas are temporary flares. You know, a car cuts your rick the wrong way? You want to rant about it quick. You do that on twitter and you move on. So those times, I think twitter served well.

Other times, the thoughts are tad deeper. For example, I am clearly suffering on the relationship front. I have no one to talk to. Twitter was my only solace. So, in past when I suffered, I would put something on twitter to cope up with what’s hurting me. More often than not, this act of writing a tweet and posting was similar to talking to a confidante. I would thus be over whatever was hurting me. So that helped. Muck was out of me. I was ok.

Of course, this temporal messages phenomenon is not good. You dont really go deep. You dont delve and mull over things. Worse. If I dont delve, I merely scratch the surface and I dont go deeper. At the level where I need to solve it. So, I need to fix this. If I am suffering, I need to layer down to the very bottom and try and find an answer to that. And then solve it. Even if, I need to move on, like Dr. Peterson says.

Bad. I no longer have access to a hive brain that can throw back ideas, links, suggestions, connections etc to me. Not cool at all. This probably is the single-largest thing I miss about not being able to post on twitter.

Good. My screen time is drastically lower. Probably at the lowest point in life right now. So that’s great! Need to find a way to keep the screentime low for when I come back on twitter.

So yeah. This is about it. Ya, a lot on my mind! And, here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 148
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had two. Tall. Americanos.
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 30 + 575 + 30 + 1425 + 163 + 189 + 35 (2447)
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 1. Walked super slow but I did walk.
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 238

140721 – Morning Pages

A quick note where I talk to self. And dump whatever is on the top of my head. Things like people, mentors, work, leverage and more.

7:05. Woke up groggy. And a choked nose. And soreness in the neck. Damn old age. I had decided that I will focus on three things yesterday and do just those. I am glad to say I could manage just one (being sarcastic) and the other two are now overdue. And this means that the three things that I need to work on today will get pushed. And I will miss a few more deadlines. Damn!

I now know what work stress is! In the sense, what the stress of non-delivery is. Need to pull socks and deliver the magic that I am known to have delivered in the past.

So that. There’s nothing else on the top of my mind. Oh, I walked up 8 stories yesterday. I need to be able to do 100 stories everyday without losing breath. The day I can do that is the day I can, well, breathe easy. I also ate three meals yesterday. And that too full of carbs. You know, Pizza. My guilty pleasure. How the F would I lose weight? Yesterday only VG was telling me that for someone my height and age, I need to be lighter by 17 KGs. 17! I don’t even know how I would get to that number. It’s not about starving but probably about burning the calories and then the excess fat.

Chalo, aaj fast. Come what may. Even if stress forces me to order shit and eat as if a famine is coming, I will NOT eat. Neither I would have coffee. Green tea, #ftw!

Apart from these two things (health and work), to be honest, there isn’t much on the top of my head. But then there are a couple of things that happened yesterday that I need to take note of.

One, I spoke to two of my mentors. And my sis. Each conversation was around a certain thing (work, emotion, etc). And while talking to each of these, I felt really really grateful that I have their patronage. And respect. And mindshare. I must have done something incredibly right to have this. Super grateful. Need to grow more such relationships. Where there’s mutual respect, no hidden agendas, and comfort. I know you can’t really do this with people. But I will do whatever it takes to deliver on things from my side to grow into such relationships.

Two, I realized yet again that on the work front (and even on the life front), I don’t want to be the person that executes. I don’t want to trade my time for money (work). I want to rather be the one the opens doors and gets things delivered. I want to be the one that leverages his relationships and trades the knowledge to make ends meet (time). You know, become that person that doesn’t need to have a laptop open ever. I should use my phone, team of people and deliver magic. Now, this is far easier said than done. Especially at the stage where I am at. In the sense, I am still not stable enough to get work that pays me consistently. Most of it comes to be after I put in an insane amount of time and effort. And what I do is not rocket science. So that means that I need to consistently deliver great things to keep the engine running.

In fact, the second one has been a recurring theme. I need to find a thing that can be done about it. Thankfully, with the current scheme of things at work, I have taken a step towards building a team that can do things in my absence. Let’s see when that comes together.

Oh, I have to write this. I was talking to my sis and while talking, I told her that I often abstract myself away from what’s happening to me. I sort of float over my body and look down upon me. I see this 38-year old struggling to make ends meet, trying to get better, striving on a day-to-day basis. And I see a dude trying to be cool, making mistakes, slacking, giving in to temptation on a regular basis. While there are both positives and negatives in the person I see, the abstraction allows me to help the person I am seeing. By giving him inspiration. You know, the kinds I am told I am able to. Others call this phenomenon self-talk. I call this, well, zooming-out. Irrespective. It works. Try it.

So that. That’s it for the day. See you guys tomorrow. I have a lot to do today and tomorrow and this week in general. And here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 125
  • #noCoffee – 14
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 215

Day 2 of Morning Pages.

Day 2 of unfiltered stream of thoughts on how I spent yesterday. And whatever is cluttering my head as I plan for the day ahead.

Hello, I have this slight headache. I think it is because I did not get good sleep. I think it’s a result of the heady cocktail of too much coffee, too much coke (not Diet but regular), too many thoughts, and too little rest. But I think I will be ok. I always get ok. I just need to get going and the humdrum of the day gets me going and I tend to get back to action.

Since this is day2 of the morning pages bit, I am not sure what to write about, lemme talk about how day 1 was, things I did, things I thought about and what did I learn from it.

Board Games. I played this game called Risk yesterday with some people. While the game is fun and I am not sure I would play it again, the lesson was that you can observe a lot about people while they are playing these games.

I knew that how you conduct yourself on a Poker table tells you about how you are as a human being. You may or may not get to play Poker with everyone but you can invite even strangers for board games. And the way they play these games, you could look at serious, long-term decisions like hiring or partnering with them!

While playing the game, you realize who’s gonna cheat, who hates to lose to a point of being unethical, who all are trustworthy, who behaves when they’re being their primal self, and so on and so forth.

COVID. A very good friend got COVID. One of those people that I actually care about. I hope he recovers. He doesn’t know how he got it. And he is one of the cautious ones. I read someplace that at some point in time all of us would get it. We just need to ensure our immunity is good. So that!

Hand of God. For no reason, someone sent me some money that I could use to do something that I have been putting off for a while. Also this some money from someone to do things that I have been putting for a while vicious circle needs to stop! I don’t know the way out but it has to. More on this on EchoChamber.

Chota Hustler. This coworking space in Goa that I work from, they have this guy that’s like a car-salesman kinda hustler. You know, the ones that would goad you into taking a decision that you did not know even know you had to take. The guy’s on the phone all the time and is selling I don’t know what to I don’t know who all. I’d probably know is a few days. Also, I think I need to up the ante on people watching thingy that I so enjoy.

Workout. One of the agendas that I had for this Goa trip was to get fit. I have been here for almost a week now and all I have done is eat crap, sleep in bad posture, work (a lot – really!), and no workout. Even though on the second day here I promptly went to a Decathlon and bought a running tee, a phone holder, and whatnot. Oh, and I have been to the beach a total of 2 times even though I live a 3-minute walk from it.

The thing is, when you think that you’d live and work in Goa, life does slow down (you are not traveling for any meetings – this intra-city travel is what speeds up time I think) but that thought that you have in your head about the charming sunsets and beaches and runs and food and parties and people? Well, at least I did not see it.

I know I know, the Instagram stories narrate a different tale. A close friend and wife are in Goa as we speak and if you see his Insta stories, I kid you not, you would question your existence. Another friend is here and all her stories are all full of poets and muses and people playing guitar, dancing, bonfires, and whatnot. Then a work colleague is also here and his Instagram is full of food that’s been plate like it was a jewel. May be it was. May be people love food so much?

The other thing that is not been happening for me since I have come to Goa is that I have stopped being social on Twitter and Linkedin and all that. These have been a large part of my life and I need to figure out how to get back. I think once I solve the internet issue, I will be ok (I am staying at a mentor’s house and there’s no Internet. And the mobile phone connection that I tether to is slow af).

Oh, I have to talk about dogs. Goa has more strays than it has people. And it’s scary. And it’s unsettling. And it is not fun. I have been barked at, growled at, chased down, stared down at in anger, and whatnot. Since these are strays, I am sure these are not neutralized or something. I think I need to get a proactive Rabbies injection or something. May be I will. Assuming there is someone that actually does some work here, apart from the ones that do not belong here.

That’s the second ‘other thing’ for the post. Most small businesses here complain that the locals do not work. They can but they don’t want to. And the ones that are not from here slog their ass off! And as a result, they are in demand, and locals are left in the lurch. And why would they not be? Free markets reward efficiency! Similar to what I hear about in Mumbai. I don’t know the solution but I would like to fix this if I can. It’s a tough problem to bang your heads on. You need to know psychology, vested interests, education, behavior change, long-term thinking, identity, money, and what not.

I also narrated a character of #book2 to a few friends yesterday. They seemed to like it. This probably is the cue that I need to get started with it? May be. You know, the invisible hand!

The last thing am thinking about before I move on to the next thing for the day is, personal brand for Saurabh Garg. I have been thinking a lot about it and I need to figure it out and move on it. Do I get authentic (these posts are a step in the direction)? Do I get all serious and post only long-form articles that has helped establish people as experts in their fields. Wait, what field do I even belong to? I met another friend-mentor day before yesterday (wow, time flies!) and he asked me to define myself and I had no clue what I stood for! I could talk about all that I’ve done and all I want to but it did not make for a convincing story. Need to work on that. May be will add to the agenda of this Goa trip, for whenever it ends!

With that, its over and out.

Like I said yesterday, please ignore the typos.

And in case you are reading this and you have any thoughts / ideas about any of these things that I spoke about, please do let me know.

Over an out!

PS: Can I add some photos to these pieces? May be. May be not. Let’s see what I decide.