Wrote this on my way from BKK to BOM. On board 6E1052.
This is the weekly review, after about 10 days. I missed the last week cos I was on the road. I could’ve written, to be honest, but I didn’t want to. Call it my laziness or procrastination but I did not write, even though I could have squeezed time to do so.
I was gonna miss this week too, cos, well, travelling again. But then I didn’t want to miss it two times in a row and thus here’s a note.
And no, this will not follow the regular review template that I had come to appreciate and build over the last few weeks. I can use that but I wanted to get back to freeform writing without any plan or thought and dump things!
So, over the last few days (since the 13th), I’ve read nothing, written nothing, saw no TED talks (not even Naval’s podcast). I worked very little (like 4 hours, maybe in the last week), slept little, and walked a bit (I averaged 10K steps (less than 13K planned). Oh, I ate a lot, and realised some things while I was at it. And I will talk about those here.
Let’s go!
A/ Am still a boy who loves boy games (like pool, poker etc.) and am not even good at it.
This epiphany happened to me while I was playing pool with VG at a posh-ish watering hole (The Sitting Room, or The Corner Cafe or something).
It was late in the evening and patrons were having their beers and chatting and all that. I was playing pool and out of nowhere, it dawned onto me that I love these boy games – you know, Poker, Pool, Counter Strike and all that. And no, I am not good at any of those. I am just about average on my best day and subpar on most. And yet I love those games. Am far from Dude Perfect but I would love to be one of those boys. Maybe I’d pick one of these things and go all-in on that? Maybe Poker? It has revenue opportunity too, if I become better. Just that I don’t have the talent or the mental discipline to play like a pro or even a pro-am. The only way I would do well would be deliberate practice and that will need money and time. So, at this time, maybe not. Maybe when I am “retired” 😀
But the epiphany was helpful to have. I knew it deep down but it was good to see its surface.
Oh, and no, I don’t like to watch sports. I am more interested in being an active participant. Maybe this is why folks invest in fantasy leagues?
B/ Coke
I had a LOT of Coke Zero.
Not Diet. Zero.
And I didnt like it. But I had a lot of it, in absence of anything else. I could have had coconut water but you can only have so much of it. And I didnt want to have beer or anything alcoholic.
BTW, this is worth mentioning because I hadn’t had a coke since Dec 2024. About 4 months. And I am the kind to shower in coke!
And here’s my resolve. I will not have soda while I am in India. Lol.
C/ I can’t take good photos.
Here are some that I would like to flaunt.
But I wish they were better. Maybe I need to hire someone to teach me how to take better photos. Or maybe I should find an editor and get that person to edit whatever I click.
Any thoughts on this?
D/ I need to work on my health.
I was at this market night with some 15 people and some kids. They took a photo of the group (I am not in it – I escaped ;)).
When I saw the photo, I realised that the only person closest to being healthy in that group was Vivek. And to be honest, he too needs some work around the edges. And it was scary and eye-opening.
Not that the eye hasn’t opened in the past. Not that I haven’t had these health epiphanies. But the thing is, it’s high time. I am 42 and I can see old age screwing up with me. Plus, my skin seems to be giving in and I need to cure it, lest it fucks with my already tiny self esteem. So that.
Oh, I spotted an incident in the flight and realised how inadequate we are to handle anything medical while in flight. So, I will also take a first aid course and carry the basics with me in the flight. #sgTodo
E/ The resolve to make more money is more stronger.
Enough said.
I need to do whatever I can to make money. Of course I want to stay within the boundaries of my ethos, values and principles.
I also need to work hard to get another passport. And I need to be able to have money in various countries. With Meru, this plan would probably get pushed by a few years but I have to find a way to live out of the country for a few years, if not for good.
Oh, its funny that what I’ve wanted from life has not changed since I was a child – money, health, experiences etc etc
F/ Was off Social Media
I was only on email, slack and linkedin. And that too as less as I could.
I was not on the news, twitter, instagram or anything else. I am glad to report that I was mostly successful at it.
To be honest, I did see some posts when some work required me to (but I was logged off). But that was that. I think that’s one #win from the trip.
Now that I am gonna be back on social, I will make the shift and use it only for work. Made the announcement already. And I will not have social apps on my primary phone. I will get a new phone where I will have these apps.
G/ Garmi
I just can’t do garmi.
I can stay hungry. I can walk a lot. I can tolerate any shit you throw at me. But I can’t do garmi. I know this is a first world problem and I saw almost everyone be ok with the weather – from kids to oldies to everyone. But I wasn’t able to think straight most of the time.
Made me think – how do I survive in Mumbai. The thing is, I don’t, on most days. Most times I am ranting about the heat and humidity. And then when I am not, I have spotted ACs and places that allow me AC. That reminds me, I need to talk to folks at Rentomojo to fix ACs at home. #todo
H/ Family thing
I had a few chats at home and they weren’t the best. And I can see my parents sinking. And I don’t know the solution. I will probably move them to Mumbai or I will move to Delhi. Let’s see.
It really sucks that you live all your life with your folks, see them as the source of strength that you take pride in, and then at a point in time, you are forced to accept that they will wither away.
I know I can’t do anything about it. I know this is acceptance that we need in life. I know this too shall pass.
Oh, coming to my life per se, I wouldn’t want to be seen as frail, unwell, drifting away to anyone.
To be honest, no one cares. And anyway I don’t care about anyone but Sonali or Myra. I can hide myself from them. To be honest, even Myra wouldn’t care for that matter. Kids are a malleable bunch and they move on fast. Maybe some kids from Village would stay around. Maybe I would want them to stay around. But, again with them, my past has taught me that folks from work tend to move on faster than you imagine. I don’t want to keep repeating sorry tales of my experience with people but it’s something that I need to think about for sure.
I/ Space
I’ve realised yet again that I need my personal space. I may not use it a lot but I love the idea of having space. I want to ensure that I have my bed, my room, my whatever at each place I go to. Something that only I have access to. Like a secret room or something 😀
I don’t know why or how this want has happened to me. I didn’t grow up in a place with a lot of space. I’ve never had a fancy house (apart from that 2-year window when my income to mehangai ratio was tenable and that short window when I lived in Vivek’s house). Plus, most times I’ve travelled, I have had to share rooms. Plus, lately, I’ve had to give a lot to keep people from the village happy and close.
So, I don’t know how or where this want and need for space happened to me.
Maybe worth meditating more over.
But the point is, I like space. And I can’t do well when things are crowded. So, this rules out public transport (apart from flights (I am writing this from a cramped seat of a plane), hostels and other such things.
More on this some other day.
J/ When I travel…
Continuing on the space thing, in this 7 day trip, I slept on 4 different beds. This means I have packed and unpacked at least 5 times.
And I hate this feeling of being a nomad when I am on a chutti. I am a nomad enough in real life and I want to not have the same feeling when I am traveling for leisure.
Ofc, while I am travelling for work, I know I have to do this. But when I am on a chutti, I want to take it easy and not run by the clocks of hotel check-in and check-out.
Next time on, I will ensure that either I am on a road trip where I am living the camper life or I stay put in one hotel / location.
I know this extreme thinking may not be ideal if I want to see the world (imagine going for a Euro Trip – covering 10 countries in 15 days). So, I am ok to miss on things. Fuck the FOMO! I will only do this pack-unpack-pack-move routine in rare conditions.
Ofc, some people enjoy this moving around like a sport. I don’t.
Ofc, this is a very first world issue. But I am now a first-world resident and I better live with the reality.
K/ People
I love people. And I love to help them. I was telling Farheen that my love language is your success. Your = people I love.
And I need to find a way to enable more people around me to do more. Maybe I should carve out time for specific things? Maybe break them into tiers and funnels. Lol. Will think more on this.
Oh, I also removed a lot of people from calendars and other places where I tend to save things at. This means that I am removing some people from my life.
L/ Bored of not working
I think on the 5th day of the trip (friday I think), I was at a point where I was bored out of my wits of not working. And I craved to get back to work.
I don’t know how people tend to retire. Maybe they reach a point where they want to do something meaningful without the hassle that comes along with work.
Would be useful to think about. Especially in wake of the Meru and H above.
M/ Flight snafu
I am on a 5 hour flight and I think I need to fly better airlines. I miss Vistara 🙁
I dont want to get into too many details but I was on a narrow body aircraft of a low-cost carrier (Indigo) for a 5-hour flight and it was hell. Passengers were rude, drunk, bickering over small things. Air Hostesses were inept at handling 180 people for 5 hours. Service was shit.
The person next to me complained of chest pain and he was visibly in distress. The air hostess gave her an apple and a paracetamol!
I mean, really?
What about talking to the captain to ground the aircraft? What about emergency landing? Someone’s life was at stake!
Anyhow. Not my monkey. Not my circus. And again, first-world problem ;p
N/ High-trust society
I’ve spoken about this a lot in the past that once you eliminate reasons for mistrust, life becomes better. This has been a guiding philosophy lately. And I saw that in action in Bangkok. And in the flight (the snafu I mentioned above).
Once you are in a high-trust place, you automatically do more. You automatically start to do more things.
Oh, same with AC. If you are in a place with AC, your productivity goes up. Lol.
I must build high-trust environments. And I know there would be some agents who would try to game these and it’s ok to build these despite this. You know, tax. But I will index on this. At least at C4E, we eliminated this challenge by overcommunicating and offering favorable payment terms to our collaborators (two sources of mistrust).
As I scale and do more, let’s see how I build this.
O/ Other things from my notes that I wanted to talk about
- On the 15th of April, some years ago, I got myself sgElectra. Till a point in time, I celebrated the birthday with great fervor. But not anymore.
- In continuation with J above, I have taken this note on my notes that “ 1/ Need to be less sore. There are many things to do as I look forward. The past is gone. And I need to move to the next”. On this, most times I am not sore, to be honest, but there are times when I feel I need to practise equanimity even more.
- Parenting is not for me. I saw Shilpa in action and I realised that I am glad that I get to parent Myra and Mira from far!
I think this is it. I am sure there must be more notes. Maybe at a later time.
—
So, yeah.
This is it.
I am back to regular programming from tomorrow. And that means, more reviews.
Lemme know what you think.
See you around.
Oh, and this too shall pass 🙂
PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (missed).