Month: June 2021

300621 – Morning Pages

A quick post about two things that cloud my mind – food and work. And of course, Starbucks!

9:58 AM. Woke up 10 mins ago. This must be the latest that I’ve written my morning pages. I was up till about 2 last night, working. And then I did not charge the phone (and thus no alarms). I am not sure if I got a sound sleep but I do remember that I woke up without an alarm. I feel ok, except for the neck. I think I will need to fix the pillow situation.

So, in the “good things that happened yesterday” department, I did not have coffee! I did go to two Starbucks outlets and yet did not have coffee. Yay! Settled for a Green Tea. It tasted like shit but at least it wasn’t coffee.

In the “bad things” department, I couldn’t do OMAD. Ended up eating a lot of food (and a lot of rice at that and my favorite Egg Soup). On the menu today, is eating less. One time. Now that PD has commanded me to, I can’t say no. Let’s see.

I dont know what else to write.

Ok. There’s a lot open at work and thankfully I worked a lot yesterday. Worked means infinite calls, daydreaming, powerpoints, and more! I think it was after 2 weeks that I did as much work. I guess I am slowly getting back to my mojo on that side. In another week or so I will be ok. So that’s a good thing.

I want to reduce my reliance on Starbucks. It is tough, to be honest. I need to see people around me. In fact, this is the very reason why I am dreading working from Delhi. There’s no cafe per se near my place. No co-working space that’s open. I think Delhi was not built for knowledge workers and these newfangled gigs. You know, most people are traders and have regular jobs. So the ecosystem hasn’t been built for that. Plus I suspect there is more generational wealth in Delhi than in any other city. Not in terms of mega-billionaires but in terms of upper-middle-class that has inherited houses and cars and businesses and all from their fathers et al.

Ok, I digressed. I was talking about Starbucks and I launched into a rant about Delhi.

Wait. I did not. Why did I write this? Well for a couple of reasons.

A, I am thinking of going to Delhi in July and spending some time there. No specific reason. I just need a break in scenery. Prior to the pandemic I would routinely get such breaks – travel, work, whims etc.

But when I go to Delhi, I will have to find a Blue Zone of Work that is within walking distance for me.

B, There is a fleeting chance that I may take a 15-day break in September and do the EBC trek hike. Catch my words. Fleeting. Chance.

In case that happens, I will have to anyway cross Delhi (I mean I can take a direct flight to Kathamandu if I have to, but I have this irrational thing where I want to see my parents every time I travel “north”). And since I can work from anywhere, I can spend a few days in Delhi around that time as well.

So may be I can travel to Delhi around August and then move onward to EBC. If EBC is happening. And if that’s the case, why bother with going now in July?

So I need to make a decision if I want to push my trip to August. Or I go in July, come back. Go again in Sep.

Not sure right now. But yeah, this is what’s on my mind right now. Of course, I know whatever I do will be hardly this well-thought-out. I would just pack my bags on a whim and just leave!

Anyhow.
That’s about it for the day.
Time to move on.
It’s almost 11 and work Starbucks beckons.

Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 199
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 111
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

290621 – Morning Pages

Note on PD (and her birthday), attempt at removing caffeine from my system and ideas on what ails my eating (habits).

2906.
PD day.
Nothing else matters.

For someone that I’ve met just once in my life, she holds a very special place in my life. She’s this constant friend that I’ve had since I was I don’t know how old young. It was somewhere between 1999-2003 when I made her acquaintance first. Since then we must have exchanged hundreds of words over scores of emails. Some short, some long. Mostly irregular. Of course, she was in the US (and still is) all this while. I was shuttling across cities in India for education / work. Since she was so far away and there was little overlap in who both of us knew (except a couple of people), I felt safe in sharing the fuckeries of life with her. Mostly it was about love, work, and regular things you expect me to rant on. She had a very very patient ear (or eyes, may be) and she would always come with a word or two of consolation. To be honest, I don’t recall if her words helped me back then but I do know that I would eagerly await her emails.

I think I’ve met her all of once, somewhere in the LA, way back in 2010. And that too wasnt for too long. Maybe an hour or so. But i distinctly remember that while I was out of place and awkward, she was good and easy to talk to in IRL as she was when I sent her emails.

With time, she got busy, got married, raised a family. I got busier than her. But we have remained in touch. Very intermittently now. Far less frequency than what I would ideally like.

But I do think that this distant friend that is seeing you from an objective, unemotional, once-in-a-while manner is an important person to have in life. The friend obviously cares for you. And yet she is so far away that in case you need a shoulder to cry on, you can’t access it. You know she’s out there, somewhere and around in case you need. And you know that for all practical purposes she’s not there. I think this is what God is. Right? You have faith that there is this thing called God that is looking over you from a distance and will open doors when all is lost.

PD is like that to me.
No, not God. God doesnt exist.
She does.

Ok, moving on.

Yesterday was mad. I had so much coffee and even a Red Bull (yeah) that I couldn’t sleep. As I write this, I am groggy. Eyes won’t open up. In fact, this sleep thing has become a recurring problem and I need to solve it. I don’t know how but I need to.

Starting today, I am going back to a low-carb diet. I will also stop having coffee. No more caffeine in any form. Even at Starbucks, I will get back to green tea. The thing is when I make such promises to myself (eat less, no coffee, etc), the first two or three days are the most critical. If I can not have coffee today, if I can avoid eating carbs today, I would have won a big big battle. And if I do it successfully, I need to merely repeat it tomorrow. Once I hit the third day, I know that I have set a streak and I merely need to not break it.

So let’s see how today goes.

On the work front, I have a lot happening and there’s no time to even, you know, die! To a point that I am getting more and more people on board and yet there seems to be a lot to be done. This to be honest is a great thing. I need to find a way to scale the business. Maybe this is what they say when they talk about spotting opportunity in the times of adversity? Let’s see.

I am sure there is more that I want to talk about but the mind is so blank and so distracted that I dont know what to write. Damn the caffeine and sleep depravity. Wait something dawned onto me. I think I am one of those people that have this scarcity mindset.

Lemme explain.

Case 1.
Imagine you are stuck in the Sahara for 10 days. You are rescued and you are now in a comfortable hospital with an unlimited buffet to eat. What do you think you would do when you saw that buffet?

You would attack is right? Your body was deprived of food for so long that you want to stack it with all you have. You want to nourish it. You want to ensure that should there be another famine, you have some energy stored in your body.

Case 2.
You know you are going to a distant island that you know is inhabited. You know that you won’t have a Starbucks there. You know that you won’t have a Swiggy or a Zomato. You know that you can’t order a meal even if you have all the money in the world to order. What would you pack?

I don’t know about you but I would pack a million things that would last me as long as possible.

Case 3.
You have a big ass presentation to make. It’s going to be a long night. While some cloud kitchens operate throughout the night, you may want to munch on snacks et al. Those would be a pain to find at that hour. Plus, no coffee shops. No places to order a Red Bull from. What would you do?

At least I would order in snacks worth a thousand bucks and get ready for a long night of work.

Club all three cases. If your first instinct is to order in and save yourself from scarcity, you are like me. You want to stack. And no, stacking is not the problem. The problem starts after that. Once you know that you have a Red Bull in your refrigerator or a packet of Kurkure within your arm’s reach, you can’t help but pull open the tab, tear the crimp and eat like there’s no tomorrow.

So that.

I suffer from this. And I need to fix it. Even if I have to stay hungry for a few hours, I will try and resist the temptation to stack things in. If I am unable to deliver at work, so be it!

This. And then other issues that you typically have when you eat.

A. You know, I am the kinds who HAS to finish whatever is on my plate. If I get served 10 slices of Pizza, I will have to finish all 10. I can’t save them for later. So I need to start eating only as much as I must. Not polish the serving plate.

B. Then I am the kinds to see something on YouTube while I am eating. Which is good – multitasking. But there are two issues. You don’t really get to enjoy what you are eating. You feed only the stomach but not the soul. You are merely going thru the motions of eating. Second, you train your Pavlovian brain that food means TV. And TV means food. So every time you see something, even if you are full, you reach out to a pack of snacks. In fact, this is one of the reasons why I do not have a kitchen or stock food things at home.

So these three issues. Scarcity mindset, eat all that’s on plate, eat while engaged in other activities. I am sure there are more. Lemme discover those as we go along. Now that I am firming up a trip to the EBC, I better start working towards it. I dont want to die yet. You know.

Wah, what pep-talk! Mr. Garg!

Ok. Over and out. Long day. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 198
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 110
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

280621 – Morning Pages

Short post on affirmations, one of my life goals and other things.

6:32. Woke up a few minutes. Again, from a sleepless night. I dont know what is wrong but something is. I think I need to change the house for a few days and see if I get better sleep. Let’s see.

The thing is, I can rant about things but I have decided I will not. The last few days have been overly negative I will try to stop thinking about those. And focus on things that are not negative. Plus, today is a long day and I need to be at the top of the game if I have to achieve things that I have planned for the day.

So, I started the day with Danapani’s video on affirmations. See it…

It was eye-opening! Even though I have been a believer in the power of affirmations, I stopped thinking about it somewhere along the way. I used to do that on a notepad (I will start again I think) and then I moved to a spreadsheet.

However, when I saw Dandapani’s video, my eyes sort of open. He says (and I did not) that affirmations have to have three things…

  • Concise choice of positive words
  • Clear visualization
  • Corresponding feelings

While I had clear choice of words, I never had the other two. I did have try visualisations once in a while but I did not take that serious. Today on, I will try to do all three. Will probably order a Rudraksh mala, like he has!

Moving on.

I have to say that it’s funny how the dots connect. It’s uncanny. Really. Few things happened that makes me want to become a believer in the mystical world!

Lemme use bullets.

A. Surbhi called and asked me if I want to go to Everest Base Camp in September. The timing is just right – I like to disappear around that time and Base Camp is a good place to disappear.

Plus the Base Camp would be a great opportunity to get a feel of the mountain that I want to summit. Of course, Base Camp is like a stroll in the park. It’s easier than most other treks, just that the altitude is an issue.

But still. It would be a step in the direction.

Plus when I checked, I realised it’s not as expensive as you’d imagine it to be.

B. Shravan called. He’s the kind that’s super tough to catch. Not that I had a lot to talk about with him but he’s the only guy I know who’s passionate about serious hiking and trekking. So among other things, we talked about the Base Camp. He knows my fitness levels and quirks. And he affirmed that I can do that.

On the call, he rattled off the entire itinerary with names and altitudes and other things that only a local would know. Shravan, obviously knew those things!

C. I’ve been feeling listless last few days and I think this could be a good milestone to work towards?

So clubbing A, B and C, I will probably start to plan for the trek in end Sep.
I just need to get fit for that. Lol!

Also, I bring this chat of Base Camp because one of the three affirmations I used to repeat was that I want to climb Mt. Everest by Jan 1, 2026. It’s uncanny how yesterday I was talking about the Base Camp and today I spotted a video on affirmations!

So yeah, may be I need to restart with affirmations. If I can do the base camp this year, I think I will get some sort of a push to get serious about climbing and preparing myself for the big summit in the next few years. Let’s see.

Also, while writing this, I realized that I absolutely love dreaming about things, like the potential trek to the Base Camp 😀

So, I think that’s it for the day. Hope today I do better than the last few days. I need to get my act back on track. I can not afford to slack on work! And here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 197
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 109
  • 10 mins of meditation – 1. Did 10 minutes yesterday. Plan to do it today as well as soon as I publish this.
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

270621 – Morning Pages

After the longish post yesterday, I am sort of black. Don’t have a lot to talk about. So, a non-meaningful update.

6:15 AM. Up a while ago. Tried sleeping at 10 but by the time I finally hit the sack, it was 12. Lemme start by recapping the mile-long rant I wrote yesterday and how I am faring at various things I talked about.

  • Filled water container and bottles. To a point that I don’t think I will have to order in for the next few days. Good!
  • Since I couldn’t work from my place, went to a friend’s. Promptly fell asleep. Lol!
  • Saw no Netflix. But ended up seeing almost all the videos on this channel. You must check them out! Bad.
  • No coffee but had a RedBull. Bad.
  • Ate one meal of just Dal. But then ate chips and assorted kachra throughout the day. VERY bad.
  • I think I need to find a non-carb thing that I can munch on all the time. I use chewing gum often but it’s either too sweet or a ball of rubber in the. I prefer something savory. Or something like Diet Coke 😀
  • Did 3 minutes of meditation and 5 push-ups (in 2 reps. For someone like me, 5 is like infinity. Super stoked. I need to be able to do 500 in a day. You know, if I want to build strength in my arms! Good!
  • Walked some 3K steps. The plan is to get out more and reach some 15K a day.
  • Slacking on work yet again. I still haven’t figured this as an answer.

So, more bads than goods. But then some goods nonetheless. So that’s a good thing. Need to have more goods and less bads. And then monitor these closely so that I only have goods and no bads. Ok, enough of this good and bad wordplay. Has stopped making sense.

Lemme think what I want to talk about today.

Wait.
As I write this, I am back to listening to Singh is King title track. On loop.

In highlights, along with AD, I started with the Podium Writing Fellowship. The idea is simple. We want to add a leg at Podium by adding text content. Now, the niches we operate in (entrepreneurship, marketing and more) has enough and more competitors to even get started but we believe that the content we have is so good that we can rehash is. The first rehash we’d do is text-based content. You know, newsletters etc.

The trouble with it is to find people to write it. For starters, writers are a rare commodity. It’s tough to find great writers. Second, even if we find some great writers, the way we run The Podium, we don’t have enough cash flow to find writers sustainably.

So AD came with an idea to identify young writers and help them get better. Of course, the responsibility to do so is on my shoulders. I have never delivered a longish course to help others learn but I think I am excited. More than anything else, this would help me improve my writing! In the world where AI would eat creative work (you know, GPT-3), this is an attempt to remain sane by actually doing work that creates meaning.

Ok, I am digressing.

The point is, at The Podium, we are taking so many shots and doing so many experiments that I am hoping one of those will stick and make this struggle worth it, at some point. I just hope we can make enough money for everyone that works with us at The Podium. And of course at all other places where I put my time and energy.

So that.

I am back to listening to discourse by Dandapani. Today’s its this video.

He talks about finite among of energy and attention, life purpose, people that uplift you, importance of attention (over money), death (and the finiteness of life), energy vampires, staying affectionately detached to people (super important for me!), passing on the burden of responsibility, happiness (and pursuit of lifestyle that create happiness).

I love how he talks.
I love his content.
I think I am a fan!

Lemme try and take a stab at this. What is my life’s purpose? At a materialistic level, I still want to make a billion dollars, climb Mt. Everest and while I do both, inspire a billion people! In terms of a little more metaphorical level, I want to enable others I know to do well. Do well is an open-ended thingy. I define it by saying that whatever is your end-state that you want to achieve for yourself (make films, travel the world et al), I want you to enable you to do that!

I seek my happiness in yours. I want to see you succeed and I want to derive joy from that. I want to ensure that you live, grow, thrive on a day-to-day basis and I do whatever it takes to enable you to do that.

No, I dont have the resources to do this for a lot of people and for a living and I still need to make my ends meet. Maybe at some point, I reach that place. Whenever that is. Let’s see.

Need to think more. Need to act more.

Guess this is it for the day. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 196
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 108
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

260621 – Morning Pages

A very lengthy super-rant on all things Saurabh – work, personal, thoughts, health and everything else that makes me.

8:51. Woke up a few minutes ago.

The feeling of listlessness continues. While I am not stressed about any one thing in particular but I am discontent. I am uninspired. I am like a vegetable. I am slacking at work. I am pushing things around unnecessarily. I am wasting a lot of time on Fauda. Thank God I finished all three seasons, some 36 hours of it, yesterday. Here’s a promise to self about not see anything unless something comes highly recommended. Wait. May be that’s not the right metric. May be the right way would be to see just one thing a month. You know system vs goals. So that I can choose only select things.

I digressed. Netflix is not important. I don’t think I am addicted to it. The problem is, I am uninspired and I lack the spring in the step. There’s no, as they say, joie de vivre! You know what I am saying? My shoulders are slouched. I am being lazy where I should not be. I mean I am not even replacing the water container in the kitchen! I order 1-litre bottles. Expensive. Plastic. But then, very convenient. Damn!

And no, it’s not ok to feel like this. While I don’t chase hedonistic pleasures all the time but there’s a reason why I am here. There is things that I need to do to fulfill promises I’ve made to people. Heck, promises that I’ve made to myself. I still remember I’d once said that I would buy Mannat. No, I dont talk about these things frivolously. The idea is to aim very very high. There’s a higher purpose I chase. And so, it’s not ok to slack.

I need to snap out of it. Find a way out. Find an answer. Lemme try on this post.

So, most things that happen, there’s a cause for those somewhere deep down. You know, cause and effect? This listlessness, thus, has to be a direct outcome of one (or many) of my actions. Lemme try and list things that could be the cause. And then change those (once I spot those).

May be it’s all the crappy food I’ve been eating last 10 days?
Maybe it’s fucking with my gut and with my brain and making me restless?

Maybe it’s all the coffee am gulping that’s keeping me up at night.
Coupled with bad food that has upset my system, maybe coffee is acting as a larger catalyst.

I could have said it’s the lack of action on the work front.
I can’t complain there. There is enough and more interesting work that I can engage in. There is of course boring, mundane, dreary things that I need to work on. There are bad colleagues. There is imperfect information. There is a lot that I can complain about. But there is LOT more that I can be grateful for on the work front. There is so many new things to do. Most things I am working on are new to me and like a child in a candy store, I must feel excited about those. But I am not!

May be I am overwhelmed by all that I am working on?
At any given point in time, I have a thousand tasks open on my Asana. Maybe I am so scared and overwhelmed with the monsterity of that list? I mean imagine if you were one of those 300 at Sparta and you saw a sea of more than a lakh well-trained, heavily-armed, dying-to-kill-you soldiers. You would probably lose the battle even before it starts! May be that’s causing me hurt?

I may say that I am excited and I do well when I have so many things to do. But may be, deep down, I am scared and I dont want to do any of those?

I dont know. Looks like a plausible thing. Will come back to this.

It’s definitely not the money.
While I am still in debt and the money situation is far from being ideal, I am ok on that front. I have a fairly generous credit line in Sonali, my father, NG, RD and more.

Could be it sleep?
I mean it’s no secret that I don’t sleep well. Combination of shitty AC + distractions + restlessness + monkey mind. Of course I know the importance of sleep. I know a good night’s sleep is probably the biggest contributor towards well being. And I get very little of it.

Could it be time I spend on social media?
I feel compelled to create an audience so that I can become independent. I am thus forced to spend a lot of time on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. And maybe the fancy lives of people is filling me with envy and making me sad?

Or do I need to get active physically?
You know, yoga, running and all that? I had actually started to enjoy Surya Namaskars. But I hated the time it takes to recover after I was done. Plus I hate to waste my morning on anything but work. May be I need to get more protective about my evening time as well? The way I protect my mornings?

Is it relationships?
I am probably at the lowest point when it comes to this. I’ve been away from my parents since Diwali. In terms of friends, most of those have reduced to mere transactions (both work-wise and other societal obligations). There’s no love life – active or passive. I continue to avoid places with a lot of people. Making new friends / romantic interests is an investment that I am unwilling to make. I mean I am willing to but I dont know how to.

Could it be my posture?
I just realised that I am slouched forward as I type this. Nah. At Starbucks, I alternate between sitting and standing.

Spirituality? Meditation? Higher purpose?
I haven’t meditated in ages now. I can look at streaks and come back and tell you guys when I last meditated. Or I can open Headspace. Wait. That’s not the point. No one cares about the date. All I care for is that I haven’t been.

Or do I need to work harder on my tiny acts that become a tsunami of gigantic proportions with time? I mean, rather than trying to find one large reason for this snafu in life, could be it that I need to make tiny adjustments and create systems that impact all of the above? For example…

  1. Rather than ordering in each meal, three times a day, I find a place that gives me home-cooked meals (and I go back to OMAD).
  2. I could stop having coffee altogether. If I have to go to Starbucks, I start having green tea. I know it would waste money with flavored water, but it’s ok.
  3. Each time I have the urge to check social media, maybe I do two pushups? Lemme do two right now. Done! Three. Arms are gone.
  4. I start taking the stairs as much as I can.
  5. I block time after 6 PM for walks. Even if I have to take calls, I ensure that I am walking around. To hell with the world. I can give them time from 10 to 6 and that’s enough.
  6. Rather than blocking 10 minutes for meditation, I start with 3 minutes sets?
  7. I switch off my phone at 10:30 PM each night. One of my friends used to do it. I hated her for that but she would and she would sleep well (I am guessing). I need to do the same.
  8. I start adjusting for not having people around and fix the dependence on others for validation, attention, conversation etc.

You get the drift.

I am not sure if I will do all or even any of these. But the deal is, there is radical change needed if I have to live till 120 and climb the Mt. Everest and all that. And it starts today.

I have this dying urge to order in some food. But I shall not. I will go to a friend’s place and get his cook to make something for me. I will start with OMAD today. Let’s see.

So that.

Kaafi heavy!
Kaafi dil se!

Anyhow. In other news, I am seeing videos by Dandapani. He’s one of those rare spiritual / motivational gurus that I seem to relate to. I saw this before I launched into the above “discourse”.

No, the video did not open any third-eye per se but I will try and practice what he’s saying. That I need to do one thing at a time.

Guess that’s about it for today. Lot to think about. Lot to ponder over. Over and out.

Oh, here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 195
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 107
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

250621 – Morning Pages

I talk about sleep, luck, writing and electric toothbrush 😀

5:56 AM. Woke up a few minutes ago.
I am surprised that I even get these 4 hours of sleep. I am having too much coffee. I even had a Red Bull while I was recording a podcast!

Sleep = rekt!

So this sleep thing has been on my mind a lot lately! And it’s uncanny that someone I know via Twitter gifted me this book, without me asking for it.

If this is not a sign, I don’t know what is!

Actually lemme decode it.
How the gift happened.
And decode how we “spot” signs when they don’t really exist.

So I know that I’ve not been sleeping well. To a point that my work is getting affected. It’s a loop – get work done -> goto Starbucks -> compelled to order something -> unable to finish work -> stay up late -> get coffee -> can’t focus -> delay. Plus it’s too hot and the AC that I have makes so much noise that it could very well drown out the sound made by a drilling machine trying to poke through a rock!

In one word, my sleep is rekt!

Sleep thus is on my mind. A lot.

This is when VK put up a display picture on his WA about a piece that he’s read from the book. It talks about how caffeine is the second most traded thing in the world (after water or oil, I am not sure now). I was sipping onto coffee at that point and being the know-it-all jerk I am, I said, it’s not caffeine per se, but it’s tea. I was ready to go to war with that “knowledge”.

VK remained patient and told me to not get into semantics and get the drift of the argument. Which I did. But had to be told by him. After that, we got talking about the book. I asked for the name and while he did tell me, he said that he wants to send me a copy. He even said it’s probably the best book he’s ever read!

I, of course, said no.
He insisted.
And here we are.
The book in my mailbox.

Now, I have to read it and make changes.
And hopefully sleep better.

So that. It’s not a sign per se. I created circumstances that made me create these signs! I think we can do the same with life. Whatever you wish to get, acquire, own et al, you can create opportunities and signs for those to come true. You can, in one line, create luck!

Luck = Real

Ok.
Moving on.
And yet, staying on the course, the podcast that I recorded was with a VC and apart from other things we talked about, we spoke at length about luck. And how to create it. If I were to summarise what he said, he said that movement creates luck. Do things. Never pause. Act. And over time, get better at spotting how to create movement. You must listen to the podcast (it’s at least a month away from release). Sign up here and I would send you an email when it comes out.

This is such common wisdom and yet people miss it. This is similar to my theory of movement. And of throwing darts. In fact, one of the things that I would teach people, if I could, would be to be more open, take more chances and do more things. While the focus is great, the times we live in demand we are generalists and more rounded!

Focus -> Writing

Ok. The next thing I want to talk write think about out loud is, writing. Again, something that’s super close to my heart.

So, over the last few days, I have had multiple conversations with multiple groups of people about writing. There are many lessons and ideas and thoughts. But one thing is clear.

I need to take my writing more seriously.

I mean I was always serious about my writing. I’ve been writing this series of posts for almost 200 days now! I probably write publish more than 1000 words each day. In the last six months, I would have published 200,000 words on just this blog.

The problem (not really a problem per se, but a limiting factor) is that I write for myself. I don’t care if people read what I write. Writing makes me think better, center myself, get my thoughts in place, and all that. And thus I write.

I just need to make the pivot to writing for others.
And build an audience.
And let that audience work to create opportunities for me.
You know, get lucky!

Thing is, the life I’ve chosen for myself and where I am headed, I will have to connect with people at scale. And that means the ability to write well will come in handy. No, not just handy. It would become imperative. And will be the most important thing I’d do.

So, I need to now start thinking about what others like and how do I tweak what I write to ensure that others read. For starters, I dont think anyone is interested in these daily rants. I may not stop these posts but I need to find an avenue to write things that others would like to consume.

The biggest problem with that is that not everyone reads everything. So I will have to choose some niches that are wide enough to attract interest. For example, can I write about marketing for non-marketers? I am sure there is an audience for that. Can I write about insights from India? I am sure there is an audience for that. Can I write about how to get an unfair advantage in life? I am sure there is an audience for that!

You get the drift. I need to find a niche. SoG was a series to write for others. But then it saw very limited success. I could not grow an audience beyond friends and family. Even those people did not read what I wrote. Maybe I will restart those? And this time, write with a perspective of getting more people to read? And build a community?

Let’s see.

I think this is about it for the day.
Regular things from life continue to haunt me – too many things open at work, slacking at work, not eating well, etc.

The electric toothbrush experiment is going nice. I am getting used to it. Not sure if it cleans my mouth as well as manual scrubbing does. But it’s a new thing and thus keeps me interested. Time to go do that.

Meanwhile, here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 194
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 106
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

240621 – Morning Pages

Short post about lessons from a writing cohort that I am a part of. And a tiny announcement on the Aram Nagar docu.

8:09. Starbucks.

There is nothing special to report to be honest. I mean there is some updates in terms of work I am doing and projects I am involved with and all that. But they are more “work” than anything else and I try to stay away from work as much as I can. So I don’t know what to write.

Long-Form Writing Cohort

The highlight of the day has to be (thanks to my Roam for helping me review the day), the meetup of the LFW Cohort that I am a part of. Five of us made it to the session and each person had super insane updates on what they were up to. One of us has been able to monetize his writing by getting sponsors. Another’s writing is being read by a US Govt agency. There’s one who’s finished a couple of film scripts and is now ready to pitch. Then there’s me who’s wading into mediocrity with a million things and thousand projects.

However a couple of things became clear.

A. There is immense value in building a certain following on social networks. While you may engage with them a lot and it may suck time, the access you get once you have a following is insane. I have to do what it takes to build this.

I mean if it means getting fit and posting my transformation videos, I will do it! I have the discipline once I decide on something (these morning pages for example), just that I cant seem to get started (for multiple reasons – the time it takes to work out, my Hernia, my aversion to public places, inability to hire a trainer, lack of interest in an online Yoga teacher).

If not this, then hiring a cool kid to write a 1000 tweets from my handle and get known for that.

Basically, come hell of high water, I have to build a following!

B. Great things happen when you ship. Even if you ship less often. You have to work at a certain frequency and cadence but you ought to ship. And ship things others want. The world has moved from “do whatever consistently and a following would get built.”

It is now about building things, doing things that the world wants. You know, as Vivek calls it, need to find your founder-product-market fit! In simple language, what is it that you can work on that you are great at and why is it important?

I clearly need to work on this.

I mean I’ve been aware of this but never got around to work on it. And if I did, the attempts were more or less tactical. You know, to be done when I do not have other things to work on. Maybe this needs to become strategic. In the sense, put this higher up in the priority?

Let’s see.

Anyhow. So, before I move on, here’s the track for the day. The one I will play on loop as I write this. It’s Singh is King. Here…

The Aram Nagar Documentary

So, the documentary that Mudit and I are on, we’ve started to make progress with it.

Yesterday we put a call out for actors and others that know Aram Nagar to contact us. So far we haven’t got any interest per se, but let’s see where it goes. Here’s the post that we put out.

The audition call for the Aram Nagar Documentary with Mudit

In case you know someone that may fit the bill, please do reach out.

I guess this is about for the day. Apart from these two projects, there’s isnt much that I have to talk about.

Here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 193
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 105
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

PS: These posts have started to get boring. Need to find a way to bring spark back to these. Let’s see how. #note2self

230621 – Morning Pages

A ranty post before I start the day. From outside a Starbucks that shut for the day.

7:38. Outside my regular Starbucks.

I came in early. Thinking, it’s a long day and I will get a head start on what I do. I was thinking of crafty ways to allow the Starbucks baristas to let me in early. After all, I am a regular patron. And I can talk my way through most situations.

But no. It’s been booked by a bank for one of its promotions. The entire place. For the entire day. Damn!

What this means is that acche din are back (in the sense banks are spending on BTL promotions). This also means that I need to do more to get things done on this long day. Sigh! 

Now that I have started the day on the wrong foot, lemme talk of all the negatives that have been happening with me lately.

A. I spotted a cockroach at my house. The sole reason for not having a kitchen at my place is to avoid these pests. I hate them. I loathe them. I abhor them. I know I know that these pests are needed for evolutionary change and all that. But not in my house!

Must make a rule to only move into newly constructed houses. Irrespective of the place I go to – Goa, Dubai, Mumbai, etc.

B. Since Friday, I’ve been eating like a man just out of famine. In yesterday alone, I had four full meals – each with a pot of rice. I had 2 Venti Americanos. I even had a Red Bull. And then I whiled the time away on Instagram! Binging on Fauda at 1.5x speed! I mean WTF! Need to get my act together!!

C. I am hating the way I am right now. In the sense, eating like a mad man. Not getting enough sleep. So many incomplete tasks. So many todos! So listless. So lacking in direction.

I don’t know a way out.

One of the friends I spoke to (rr) told me that I need to see a doctor or something. At 38, this is not cool. I am strongly thinking I will go see one. Let’s see when. Will keep everyone posted.

Ok, enough.
Lemme talk of positives.

A. In the morning, I saw this tweet and it made me think. Since I was half-asleep, I sent out the first thing that came to my head.

His question was, “What’s your personal elevator pitch?”

My responses were…

When working for others – “Whatever you hire me to work on, I am resourceful enough to get it done. Come hell or high water.”

When working for self – “Aim for the moon and throw million darts. Few of those will hit the stars.”

Must spend more time thinking about these kinds of things!

To be honest, I think what I wrote is exactly how I feel and think and behave and do. So that.

B. I also got the iPhone fixed. For 5K. In case any of you wants to get broken iPhones (broken screens, software crashes, memory glitches, etc), please do let me know. Can connect to the guy who does it for me. He sends his technician to wherever you are and ensures that it works before he asks for money. Love his service!

I have to say, LOVE the damn phone. I felt so much better, so much at peace as I got back on the iPhone. I felt as if someone has given me my powers back. I could type fast. I could switch apps fast. There was no lag. Things just, well, worked!

C. Attended a session where one of the A-list celebs gave some founders from the Founder Thesis podcast gyaan about how to manage celebrity endorsements. Must create more such opportunities and get people to talk to each other.

And then be bang in the middle of it!

This is exactly what am hoping to achieve with each piece of work I do – from writing to creating networks to enabling people to speaking and even with Long Haul!

Let’s see if I can scale this as I go along. This, to be honest, sounds like a good way to live life!

D. Took a stranger through my notes. Actual notes. Screenshare of my Roam graphs. I realized that I don’t really care much what people think of me or my private thoughts. I guess I am at a point where I am truly living in public.

I think this is about it for the time being. Let’s see how the day goes.

And as I end this, here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 192
  • #aPicADay – 1. I posted one yesterday. Now that the iPhone is back, let’s see if I can post one today as well.
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 104
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

220621 – Morning Pages

Quick post on how I spent yesterday and some highlights. And some lessons. And some thoughts.

6:42. I woke up a few minutes ago. I dint sleep well. I really think it’s all the coffee that I am having. I can choose not to have it. But the challenge is I can’t get things done from where I live. So that. Lol, I should, by now, either stop ranting about it or fix it. Each day I have the same old rant.

Anyhow. Good things about yesterday?

  1. I was tempted to have Diet Coke. And I did not. Thanks to Harshit and a couple of more people on Twitter.
  2. Oh, I am back on Twitter. Please do follow me on @saurabh.
  3. I found a cheaper supplier to get my iPhone’s screen fixed. All this while I was paying about 8K to get some screen. I’ve been able to negotiate it down to 5.5K. Let’s see if I can get it down a bit more. My sweet spot is 4K. I know I will get a crappy screen but the phone I use is like 3 years old and is broken and all that. I just need to get it to work for a few more months till I have saved enough to get a new one!
  4. Roam now has a desktop app for Mac! This means I will be able to take more notes! Yay!

Apart from these minor ones, here are a few things that I want to catalog for posterity.

A. I got myself an electric toothbrush yesterday. This one. I tried it and it was unlike other experiences I’ve had with brushing. It was a funny feeling to have something shaking the interiors of my mouth. It reminded me of all those dental treatments I’ve got done for myself. You know how they move that drill in your mouth? That. Let’s see how the experiment goes.

B. I was talking to someone to see if I can do some business writing for them. I sent them a link to this website where I write morning pages and all that. They looked at it and said that this is more like a personal blog and thus does not showcase my acumen as a business writer.

I agree. So, I need to work on the website to clearly highlight the kind of work I do. Make sections about my thought, about what I do (work), about projects (like SoG Book, SoG Grant, NFG), ideas, writing (for businesses, fiction, and films) and I don’t know all those things that I do.

So that’s an action item for me. #note2self

C. The next few days would be crazy mad. One of the book projects I am working on (where I have been commissioned to work on a book) has revived and there a million changes needed in it. It’s one of those projects that’s really challenging me at almost all levels – intellectual, creative, patience and more. Plus the story I am working on is very very inspiring. To a point that if I can build a life like the man I am helping write the story of, I would die a happy man.

D. Staying with writing, on a whim I decided that I want to help people write better. Actually, it was not a whim, per se. It was an outcome of the NFG session I recently took. I realized that the world would be far better if people could write better. At least in business communication. So I put this post out on Linkedin.

The thing is, all this work from home has made us Zoom monkeys and we are sending a million emails back and forth and often a lot is lost in transition. I want to offer some practical tips and inputs on what seems to work.

Of course, with things like writing, there is no universal shortcut or method. I can only help define a set of rules that could be useful. I am in the process of crafting content. Help me find out what all needs to be taught. As a business professional, what do you think you need help with when it comes to writing?

And no. Like other things, I will not charge individuals for this. I would rather have businesses run this. Let’s see where it goes.

E. I had some 2 KGs of rice yesterday. I mean I had rice for lunch. And I had rice for dinner. I love the damn grain so much that if I had my way, I would eat just that. But then, I know that it’s unhealthy as fuck and I need to stay away from it. But then dil to bachcha hai ji and all that. So I shall have more rice today. And for the next few days. Till I figure out what my next diet regimen is going to be. Or may till I decide if I want to spend the month of July in Delhi.

Let’s see.

I guess this is about it.
I know this is a short post but this is all I have on the top of my head for the time being.

Here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 191
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 103
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

210621 – Morning Pages

A ranty post on how it sucks to be a failure. And my inability to do anything about it.

8:23. I am at a Starbucks. After the break of almost 3 days, I wanted to get a head start. And I did not want to be locked in my house for that. So as soon as I woke up, I shat, showered, powdered, put on a nice shirt (really! ask me for pics ;P), and reached the Starbucks.

The coffee has been ordered. The large wooden table has been staked claimed for. The calendar has been fired up. The music has been put on Youtube (I need to find new music that gets me in the zone). And here we are. Typing away to glory. #note2self. Must have clipped the nails before I came here. They’re way too long to type easily.

So the break did me good. I think. I mean for a change, I don’t know remember a single thing that I am working on. I will have to check my Asana and get my colleagues to help me with this. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Good – it allows me to sort of recharge my batteries. Bad – for someone that is so famously obsessed with work all the time, how can I even forget things that I am working on?

Ok, I dont know what else to write about. There are way too many (and too few) thoughts in my head – both work and personal. I feel I am swirling around with the same things for last so many days. May be I need to start a new project? But then I have a million projects in the pipeline that need working. All of those are stuck at various stages (of un-completion — some are yet to be started, some need some action, some are in limbo).

In fact, this is something that I kept thinking about all through the trip over the weekend. Everyone agrees that I have all the raw material that you need to become a runaway success (as defined by societal, social, and economic metrics) and yet I am struggling to even make the ends meet (I do have enough and more work these days but I mean in general. Most times I am worried where would I get the next project from).

I dont know where I lack. I am mostly not lazy. I am very resourceful. I support people without expecting anything in return.

I dont know what I need to change to become better.

Funny thing is, I know EXACTLY what someone else could do to become better at their work. In the sense that I can give them gyaan and point out the flaws in their work, life, approach etc. And I know mostly the inputs I give to people tend to work. They appreciate me for that. But when it comes to helping myself, I am unable to.

I am almost 40 and I still dont know the answer. I am beyond the best years and it’s all downhill from here on. And like I said, I still dont know the answer. I was not born to, you know, do the ordinary (make ends meet, acquire assets, raise a family, etc.). Rather, do more with my time (inspire others, help others make meaning, etc.). May be, I am a mere fool, a dreamer that refuses to believe that his time is gone and all he can do is make peace with whatever shreds are left for him to work with.

Talking of dreams, I remember a real dream from yesterday. Lol, real dream!

I dont recall all the details but here it goes. I was walking around somewhere when I saw a coin on the road. I love when I find money like that. I bend down to pick it up. I see another coin. And another. I pick them up. And then I realize that there are so many coins. I of course pick all those up. I distinctly remember a couple of coins were those tiny 10p coins. See the pic below.

A 10 paisa coin

While I was picking those up, someone comes around and says that all those coins strewed around are his. I tell him that it’s a free world and its finders keepers. And then I tell him that since he claims the coins are his, I will give them back. But I want to keep one of the 10p coins for myself.

Of course other coins are of higher value and leaving a 10p coin on the table probably seems like a bargain to the other person (who I don’t know).

The guy politely allows me to keep that coin. And that’s the end of the dream that I recall.

There are two distinct things about this.

A, I remembered a dream after ages!
B, I typically do not remember these vivid details. You know, a 10 paisa coin and all that. Yesterday I did. So that.

I hope that this dream is a harbinger of greatness that I chase. And if not greatness, then of wealth!

With that, I think, its time to end the post. The day beckons. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 190
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 102
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

PS: One of the solutions to my failures could be to stop wasting time that does not contribute to revenue. In the sense that, I could stop with these morning pages. I could stop helping others. I could stop chasing all those dreams (and focus). But then the things I do right now (morning pages, throwing 100s of darts, etc) are the ones that keep me sane. If I did not have these morning pages, I probably would have gone insane (and I don’t say this lightly). If I did not throw all those darts and focussed on just one thing, I would have been out of work!