22 life lessons from 2022

A list of 22 life lessons that I learned in 2022. In 2023, I hope to leverage some of these to ensure that I do better.

So my fetish for making lists does not seem to be stopping. Here is another. And this time, I have 22 life lessons that 2022 has taught me.

In no order, let’s go and dive into the list of life lessons…

1/ The world does NOT owe you anything. While you need to keep the faith and keep trying, you need to know that you will HAVE to work hard.

2/ The world is a mere reflection of your true self. Depending on how you are, the world is an incredibly kind place. Or an unkind place. If you are kind, the world will be kind. If you are unkind, the world will be that. If you feel that the world doesn’t care for you, and leaves you lonely and miserable, in all probability it is you who’s not caring for others, who’s leaving others lonely.

3/ People are lazy. People typically will revert to mean to their general level of laziness. You know, entropy.

4/ People are incredible. While there are lazy people, some are incredibly good! And your job is to identify those people.

5/ Ethos is everything. This year I picked up a project that paid me ok but made me work closely with people that had very different ethos from mine. If I were a mere contractor delivering things to them against a predecided structure, I would have done well. But I was expected to do more and I failed. So, when working on long-term, fluid projects, always check for alignment of ethos.

6/ Sunk Cost Fallacy is a real thing. I am still unable to come to terms with this. I need to work on this #in2023.

7/ Show people the vastness of the sea. If you manage a team, the whole drumming up and showing them the vastness of the sea works wonders. The team at C4E is a testimony.

8/ Start writing. For writing opens doors that you did not even know existed. Thanks to my writing, I could meet two dollar-billionaires this year (one IRL and one online). And another that manages a fund of more than a billion.

9/ Youth will surprise you. Even though am a big believer in “if youth knew and if age could”, my interactions with numerous 20-something-year-olds have left me spellbound. Each has surprised me beyond belief and I know the world is in better hands.

The old ones that dismiss these young ones as frivolous, inexperienced, unaware, are in for a rude shock. Even Steve famously said

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. Yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life.

It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now, the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. 

Steve Jobs, link

10/ There are wartime people and peacetime people. You need to understand who is who and surround yourself with the right ones. This is inspired by Ben Horowitz‘s Wartime CEO and Peacetime CEO riff. Read it here. See it here.

Also, this life lesson is probably the most important as it will allow you to not choose the wrong shoulder to lean on when you need to lean. I made the mistake of considering a good friend as a wartime one but then he was clearly a peacetime one and because I relied on him, it caused me a lot of pain.

11/ Your heroes WILL fall. So rather than blind adulation of your heroes (aka Hero worship), learn the art of abstracting the Heros from their heroics. What you find enthralling in a Hero could merely be the act.

12/ The life of constant hustle is NOT for everyone. If you are someone that believes that you are not “feeling” it while you grind away, it’s okay to go back to a 9-to-5 and enjoy a stable salary.

On the other hand, I need to not judge people for the lack of it.

13/ The ability to design has to be the SINGLE most important skill that a person can acquire in this day and age. This may sound counter-intuitive when there are apparent high-value skills like coding, writing (copywriting), coaching, speaking, sales, presenting et al.

Thing is, the world we live in will increasingly become more and more “visual”. Text will become commonplace and tools like chatGPT would make it easier. No code will make it easy to do pilots. Sales team would be easy to hire in remote locations. But the ability to doodle well enough to communicate an idea would remain in short supply. And it will become the single largest differentiating factor.

I wish I was not 40. If I wasn’t, I would drop everything and learn how to do basic design. And no, what you do on Canva is NOT design.

14/ The iPhone 14 Pro’s screen is NOT unscratchable. Sigh!

15/ Remote work is a farce. Nothing replaces a handshake. Or a pat on the back.

In fact, you need to live at the very epicentre of activity for the profession of your choosing.

You may argue that there are people that have found freedom of location and are travelling. They are exceptions, edge cases. And most of us aren’t that. So, to maximise the odds of success, satisfaction, life expectancy, opportunities and all that, we need to live at the epicentre. If you want to do a startup, be in Bangalore. If you want to make films, Mumbai. A chef? Paris. Dont have the money to make the move? Hustle!

16/ Live music is the best form of music.

17/ Ready, Fire, Aim is the best DAMN strategy to get things done. Most great things that happened to me in 2022 happened as an outcome of this. In fact, if there was one life lesson that I would want you to take away from this list, it would be this.

Lemme repeat.

Ready. Fire. Aim.

18/ Mimetic Theory is a great place to start if you want to understand people. Even though a lot hasn’t been said about it outside the startup circles, it is probably the single most important thing you can learn if you want to understand what moves the world.

While mimesis has been discussed a lot in philosophy, from whatever little I’ve read, I like what Girard has to say about it. I may be merely recommending him because he reaffirms my worldview. Nonetheless, this is a brilliant video if you want a primer.

19/ Your body can be trained to do whatever you want to. This year I was able to do a 40+ hour fast without putting in any specific training / preparation. I want to be able to do a 12-day fast at some point in time in my life. Let’s see when.

20/ People that are not in your boat will never be able to empathise with you. You are the only man in the arena and you are there by yourself. So when you share things with others, even if they are your best friends, they will not be able to relate to the pain you are going thru.

In 2022, I’ve learnt that a good way to get over the disappointment of your close one’s inability to get your grief is to journal. In private.

21/ Action speaks louder than words. Nothing new in this. Found this truer in 2022. With friends, clients, team, strangers and everyone else.

22/ This too shall pass. Each of my list starts and ends with this. Good times dont last. Bad times dont last.

And this brings me to the end of the list. Of 22 life lessons that 2022 taught me. Of course, I learnt these the hard way. The intent of capturing these here is to save you the pain and the grief. How benevolent, Mr Garg!

What are some lessons you learnt in 2022 that you’d like to share widely?

PS: Like I said in the beginning, I love making lists. Other lists that I have published here are…

  1. Guide to freelancing career in 2023
  2. 40 things I want to do in my 40s
  3. In 2027

PPS: Here’s a few disclaimers…

  1. These come from the personal experiences that I gathered over the last year.
  2. Some of these may have been with me for a while but they sort of solidified over the last year.
  3. I have obfuscated some facts and events for obvious reasons.

041121 – Morning Pages

Here’s a morning pages on Diwali.

8:48. Home.

I have started to do a new thing. Rather than the morning pages on this blog, I start my day by writing an email to Team SG. And then I copy-paste it here and redact some parts of it that I want to keep within my team. So while I still live in public, I get even more honest than I can be on a public blog. In fact, I want to reach a point in life where I am able to open my emails, WA chats, and conversations to the world and yet sleep in peace. I know I am far from that but I hope I am there someday.

So, yesterday was a blur. I dont even know where the day went. I did nothing significant or special. I dont know what it was but I was literally a zombie. I, as they say, sleepwalked thru the day. I slept at like 9. And then I woke up at 8ish. 11 hours. For someone like me, if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get mindfucked. So there.

Anyhow, Today’s Diwali. Happy Diwali to each of you!

Growing up, Diwali was an important festival. For two reasons. One, each Diwali, I would come back home to my parents from wherever I was. Most times it’s been easy. At least since 2010, the work I do allows me to control how I spend time around these large festivals. Super grateful for that. Two, I’ve for some reason treated it as the beginning of the new year. Not sure if it’s true. But it has stayed with me even though I have stopped identifying myself as a Hindu. So, to date, I consider this as a new beginning and I try and start planning the next year with all the gusto that one can imagine. 

This year is no different. I am home. Yay! And I have started to think about what I’d do #in2022. I just realized that I can type started with just the left hand!

Here are the top three things that I want to do #in2022. These are in order of priority.

  1. Get debt-free. I will not commit to anything that requires substantial money till I can pay off my debt. I will continue to take smaller shots and make tiny investments (these are the ones that create opportunities for me) but I will pay back the loan by end of 2022. I cant live with the stress that I have people that I owe money to. 
  2. Write book2. I have been dreaming about it since 2013-14. I need to write it. I know what I write may not make a lot of noise but I have to have to have to write. It’s something that gives me my identity. Everything else, every other attempt at getting an identity has failed. This is the only one that I think I have left. 
  3. Get fit. I hate the days when I am unwell. Like yesterday. From today on, I am getting mindful about what I put in my system. I am not eating carbs. From tomorrow. Today is the last day of carbs. Ok. Lo-carbs. I cant remove carbs altogether. And I will get regular with yoga at least. I can’t work out and I can’t run. So, yoga! As they say, yoga se hoga! If I have to wake up early for that, I shall. 

Apart from these three, I have a million things that I want to do. I will talk about those as I get along. Funny, money doesn’t feature anywhere in this list. Let’s see when I get to that. 

And here’s a large decision. This somehow dawned onto me as I was waking up. That I would write book2 in public. From 15th November onward, I will replace morning pages with text for book2. And try and complete it by end of this year.

I will seek help from the community and I will post updates on Twitter and Instagram and all that. I will share chunks of unwritten texts. I will talk loudly about my process. And I will seek support and inputs from people on how the book is shaped. Even if the book becomes stale and no one buys it, I will tom-tom about it.

The morning pages would be reduced to the journal bit. Let’s see how the experiment goes.

That’s it for the day.

As I end this post, here’s wishing each one of you a very happy Diwali. I hope the year ahead is full of love, luck, happiness, and abundance. For you, your families, your loved ones, and everyone around you. May each of you gets everything you seek. And if there’s anything I can do to push your agenda ahead, please please do let me know. 

And here’s the song of the day – Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Here…

And here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :(. I have no recollection of the day apart from one or two calls. Was like a zombie!
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I tried sitting down for a session of Headspace but was interrupted.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I was at home and I could sleep in peace. On a day when I wanted to sleep and rest it out.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Letter to bade log. I need to send it today. Most of it is ready. Today is as good a day to send as any.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I have what it takes to create opportunties for people around me.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could sleep ok, on a day I need to sleep. That was amazing.
    2. I got an opportunity to write for a film. I may not be able to get it but at least I had an opportunity. That in itself is great. Need to capitalise more on these.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I did not feel so sleepy throughout the day, it would have been better.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Luck = Opportunity X Preparation”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 1
  • #noCoffee – 1
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 28
  • Money spent – 3856
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 28
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. I sat down yesterday but I was unable to.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 28

311021 – Morning Pages

Finally a 1000+ word post on morning pages. Dumped all that was on my head. And loved it!

7:14. Up a few minutes ago. Did not sleep well at all. Was up till 2 browsing random timelines. Right now I am groggy but I am ok. I mean I will have some water and I would be back to being awesome. So that.

While writing the title of the post, I realized that October is over. And 2021 is almost over. This brings about a few thoughts in my head. Lemme write about those.

A. Time flies! Fast as fuck. And you cant control it. Must not waste a single minute. Need to get back the mojo where I would make myself accountable for each minute. The last few months have been, well, interesting (good and bad). Need to become a master of time.

B. Need to start planning for #in2022. I would be 40 in 2022 and I had hoped I would be financially independent by then. I am far from it. I had hoped I would have 6-packs by then. I have one large one that can compete with a sack of potatoes. I had imagined I would have a personal brand. Right now, I have none.

Plus I need to admit that of all the lofty goals I write for myself on paper each year, I hardly get any of those. I mean I do take actions and steps but I am unable to close on those. Maybe this year I will change that?

C. Need to plan where would I go and live after November. I have a Goa trip planned towards the end of the year with VG. So maybe somewhere in / around that. To save on commute and travel and all that. Any ideas? I dont want to be in Mumbai, to be honest. I mean I can be but I would rather be in a new city. Pune? Alibaug? Panchgani? Vashi for that matter? Thane? Ahmedabad? Let’s see. All I need is fast internet and a private room. Rest I can manage. And to be honest, I am liking this rootlessness, nomadness.

Oh, after this rant, I must admit that yesterday and the day before were pretty awesome. In terms of money. Got paid by a client that had held back my money. Got paid by a client that I did not expect to get paid by. Got paid a day earlier by another client. Plus yesterday I paid back one of the people that I owed money to. All in all, it was a great day for money. I need to have many more days like that. Come on, universe!

Chalo, enough. Loved that I could write at peace. And could dump a lot that was on my head.

Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I continue to remain VERY distracted. I will do a 10-minute meditation session for sure.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I love the taste of water and I can sip onto it for hours.
    2. I have enough resources to be able to feed my fancies. Lol, fancies. I meant whims and quirks. And here’s the thing. #epiphany just happened. This time that I spend writing morning pages? I can see a visible change in my mood. I am a lot more cheerful than what I was when I woke up. There IS merit in dumping thoughts in your head on paper. Or a blog.
    3. I can tolerate cold more than an average human being. And this allows me to enjoy winters than others. And I love it. Of course the flip side is that I am the most troubled when its summers (like 11.5 months in a year). But the 15 days, OMG! Love em!
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. If I can ship out the letter to bade log, it would be awesome.
    2. I have 2 social engagements planned today. One each for lunch and dinner. If I can eat low-card while I am there and can avoid coke / coffee, it would be awesome!
  5. A daily affirmation.
    The universe rewards for all the movement I create, even if the reward comes to me later than expected. Like it happened yesterday.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could avoid Diet Coke. I did eat a lot and I did have coffee. But I could avoid the temptation to have Coke. I think it is because I removed the option to have coke. I did not get it stocked. And I replaced it with other things.
    2. I could speak to AS and CM about how I want to engage with them. Let’s see how that pans out. I will get to know by end of November. This is important from both work and non-work perspective. I care for these people and I want to see them do well. Plus I am attaching my success to theirs. So, if we win, everyone wins!
    3. I got a lot of money to come me in the last few days. This was of course for work that I have done over the last few months. But when it hit the account in one go, it was pretty amazing.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. Food. I could’ve ate less! Thing is, if I can stop eating like a mad man, I can fucking conquer the world!
    2. Work. I wish I could do more. I did do a few things that I was supposed to work on but I know I could have used my time better. I could have optimised it and not get distracted.
  8. Quote for the day
    “You are your biggest responsibility. Do not shy away from it. Take control. Get out of the slumber.”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 2
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had quite a few. To a point that I could not sleep.
  • #aPicADay – o. I did post a pic however. Here.
  • Daily Journal – 24
  • Money spent – 2632
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 24
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 24