Saurabh Garg, Author at aboutSG

251021 – Morning Pages

Note on things that I am thinking about and things that I want to do today and this week and in this life.

8:47. I slept well last night. In fact, I slept longer than I normally would. The sleep was not really the best, I woke up multiple times. Checked my phone each time I woke. Scrolled mindlessly through the timelines on Twitter, Instagram, and others. Hoping that I would have attention from someone, something. But none was forthcoming. And then I drifted again to sleep. Up finally!

So, in terms of things, on the top of my head, lemme try with the bullet points today.

A. Missed the SWA Scriptlab deadline. I really wanted to participate in that. I even thought about hustling today to write the script but I realized I will not be able to prioritize it. So that.

In fact, I have been thinking a lot about this. If writing is what I want to make my career with and writing for the screen is going to be important, why is it that I am unable to put this on priority? And I had more than 3 weeks, after I came back from the trek to do this!

B. Yesterday, for a change I had this need to be with someone. Like you know, romantically. Like a significant other. Better half etc. Thing is, most days I am ok without one. I am fairly atamnirbhar with these things. Guess I have trained my mind ok on that. But somedays, I really feel the need. And those days, I don’t know what to do. It’s an interesting problem to have. And no, I dont have an answer to this one. Do you have any?

C. AS is producing an event tomorrow. She’s been at it for more than 2 months. More about it here. The world needs to watch out for her.

D. India lost to Pakistan in a cricket match. While I remain unaffected, the world around me seems to have come to a literal stop. Dunno why. I mean I know why but I am unable to understand the irrationality of people that believe that an outcome of a match needs to affect their lives. I know that the superhuman efforts by athletes inspire us, their conduct makes them role models, their actions make us look up to them. But I dont get how we could be mere followers and couch potatoes and attach our lives to their actions! Why do we need to flare up emotions?

Anyhow. Gotta start the day. Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|. I have slept well. I have no one crying for attention. And I am generally hopeabout about things and all. So, I think I am ok. Not happy. Not sad. Ok.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
Things that I am grateful for
1. Each time I can sit by myself in the morning and write these morning pages without anything else on my mind, I feel grateful to the world and the universe and everything else.
2. I am one of those people that loves sipping onto water. I am grateful that I am designed like that. Water is life!
3. Spoke to M yesterday briefly. Each time I see her, my heart fills with love. Of course she doesnt give a F about my existence. But just to see her puttering around is such a great feeling!
Things that would make my today great
1. If I can fast today, it would be awesome. It would be tough but I will try as hard as possible. Thing is, I really really want to live long and fitness is an important part of that. I suck at it and I need to fix it. While I may not be able to work out, I can fast. And thus I need to get going with it. #note2self
2. I need to cut my nails. It would be awesome if I could. Here’s a thing. I am very particular about the nail cutter and the filer I use! Fuck minimalism. I want my nailcutter 😀
A daily affirmation.
I am the master of my will. I do things that I want to do. And I dont owe anything to anyone. My actions dont need to be guided by whims of others.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. Met a few people from Team SG. Each time I meet them as a group, I am awed by the collective talent, ambition and options that these guys have. I am so blessed. I of course need to amplify it. I need to continue to work hard to become a role model for these guys. And of course, take care of these guys till they are ready to fly away to their respective destinies!
2. Saw this post on Instagram. The Memento Mori lesson got renewed. If I were to get something tatttoed ever, it would be “this too shall pass” and “Memento Mori”
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could finish more things that I had planned, it would have been better. Apart from work, I really wanted to send out the letter to bade log and work on the SWA competition. But I could not.
2. If I ate less, it would have been better. Worse, I ate shit. Liteally. Oil. Carbs. Over-cooked. Of course, most of it was tasty and I would have loved to continued to eat and eat. But it’s literally killing myself slowly.
Quote for the day
You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice – Bob Marley. I am not really a Bob Marley fan. I dont even know his music. And I dont really understand these empty noises that quote like these make. But this one rang true. Probably because I am in that spot right now where I am forced to be a lot more strong than I would like to be. I mean who would not like to chill and not worry about the fuckeries of the world?

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had a few. Regular ones. Not Diet. Damn!
#noCoffee – 0. Had a LOT!
#aPicADay – 17. Yesterday’s here
Daily Journal – 18
Money spent – 2104
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 18
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 18

241021 – Morning Pages

Quick, short update about things at the top of my head.

10:19. Woke up a few minutes ago. Ya, I know it’s late. But then I slept late. And I haven’t been sleeping well for a while now. So there.

Anyhow. I dont have a lot of time today. Need to get going with the day. I am anyway running late. Here is the morning pages.

So, the thing at the top of my mind is the love for airports. I was at one yesterday. It was amazing to see so many genuine and authentic hugs at one place. I realised what human emotions could be. Although I am not sure why I dont see this genuineness at bus-stands, railway stations and other transit places. Any clues why?

The other thing that is worth cataloging on the morning pages is the fact that I am growing old. I mean I have said this a lot of time that I am old and all that. But yesterday I realised that age is catching up faster than what I had imagined. I had to stay up to finish something but I was unable to. I had I don’t know how much coke, coffee, water and all that and yet I could not stay up. Plus I am eating like a mad man. So may be that’s affecting me.

Anyhow. That’s about it. Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|. While I have a lot on my mind, I am surprisingly calm. I need more of this!.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1. Better than yesterday for sure. Need to make this better.
Things that I am grateful for
1. The fact that I am rushed and yet I have the time to write something on these morning pages.
Things that would make my today great. Just one thing.
1. I am gonna meet people from Team SG. So looking forward to it.
2. There is no urgent meetings that I need to be at. So that’s great. I can plan my life and things 🙂
A daily affirmation.
I will be able to finish all the work that has been open for the last few days.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I met my sis after almost 2 years. She’s here and while I havent spent time with her yet, I am hoping to. And while I do that, I need to find a lot of answers as a family when I do that. So that.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could go home with my sis, it would have been amazing.
2. The hotel I slept at last night was not the greatest. I need to find a better one for tonight.
Quote for the day
This one’s from Shawshank Redemption. It goes, “Some birds are just not meant to be caged.” Also see the video in case you havent. And in case you haven’t seen the film, you MUST.

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had a few. Regular ones. Not Diet. Damn!
#noCoffee – 0. Had a LOT!
#aPicADay – 15. Yesterday’s here. It’s a shot of a Diet Coke. Partially because I couldnt click anything. Partially because I loved it!
Daily Journal – 17
Money spent – 3710
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 17
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 17

231021 – Morning Pages

A longish post about random things, thoughts and ideas that I had yesterday. And some plans for the day.

6:35. Just woke up. Slept really late. The last few days have been a blur. I am not sure when a day would start. And when that day would end. While I enjoy such a life, the rewards that I seek for such a life are not really there. If I could fix the reward bit, I would be a changed man. Right now I am groggy. I am literally yawning like no one’s business. And there are so many sore spots on the body. No, it was not a restful sleep.

So, the morning pages. I have some lingering thoughts about a dream. In the dream, I am on top of some hoverboard or something and that’s going so damn high that I can see the entire world. The hoverboard is tethered to an aircraft. Along with me, on his own hoverboard is VG. And while he’s there, he’s on the phone. Where else.

I think this is after a while that I have remembered a dream. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad.

Yesterday was otherwise ok. Did some work. Avoided some work. Got some praises. Got some brickbats. Made a few tough phone calls (have even tougher calls to make today). Had decided that I would fast. Could fast till about 4. And then ate so much that an average human being would eat in like a week! Had infinite cups of coffee. That is probably acting up and making me feel so blah about myself.

But hey, here’s the thing. I’ve been at this and the email to Team SG since 6:35. It’s 7:15. The last 45 minutes have actually made me happy, cheerful, and all that. Just because I am typing and letting things that are clouding my head on a computer. And sharing with a few people that I genuinely care for. And want to be cared by.

And while I am doing that, I am sipping onto the water. I’ve had almost one liter of water. Will have another liter. Oh, lemme talk of another thing that may construe as TMI. I am done with an electric toothbrush. For the last two days, I have been using a good old hotel toothbrush. The kinds that you dispose of away after you are done. I have been giving my teeth a vigorous rub down. And while I am not sure if it cleans anything but I love the experience. Something that I did not get with an electric one. So that was the big reveal of the day 😀

In other things, I have to write about the filmy day I had yesterday. Made me realize how important films are as medium and how much I long to be a part of the business.

So three things happened.

A. I saw the second trailer of King Richard (2021). The first one is here and the new one here.

And I realized how powerful stories could be. I mean just the trailer moved me the first time I saw it. And now, with the second one, I know that I relate to that father to a T. The film, the story made the life purpose clear to me. I made me realize that I want to be King Richard! You know, the kinds that help create a Serena and a Venus! And more. I really want to be the shoulder to multiple giants. All those random acts of kindness that I engage in, all the artists that I try and support, the Team SG itself is an attempt in that direction. Let’s see if I can do it.

You may want to see this thread on Twitter.

B. While looking for a reference for work, I happened to look at the trailer of Love Actually and I realized I want to make a film like that. Where simple stories of love are brought to life. Of course, there is Modern Love and all that. But Love Actually is a brilliant example of hyperlink cinema and I think it is among the greatest films ever. I’d love to make a film like Love Actually.

Here’s a random trivia. Love Actually is by Richard Curtis. Who also wrote Notting Hill. And I quoted Richard Curtis in a line in the acknowledgments section of #tnks.

Here’s an idea. What if I make a film about love? Maybe about a person trying to find love? I remember I was at DocEdge a few months ago a lady was filming her experiences of how she’s going about finding love. It was a non-fiction documentary and I think there is merit in doing something similar. But then, do I want to copy? Nah. Let’s see what cut can I identify.

C. One of the crew members on Bil Bulaaye reminded me that around this time in 2019, my first short film was released at MAMI. It was among the highlights of 2019. It allowed me to amplify what I do with films. Of course, I have a very little hand to play in its success (or not such a large success), but it is my first. And it’s special.

And here’s a bonus 4th. I read about the story of Rockstar (2011) and I loved it. WHAT AN INTENSE STORY! Of course, the word is on the street that it’s a shitty film but I loved the story. Must must must get in the business of stories, Mr. Garg. #note2self.

So yeah!

Guess this is about it. Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|. I woke up groggy and sad and miffed. But as I wrote the morning pages and daily mail to Team SG, I am little more cheerful.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Super duper distracted.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I have found a set of people (Team SG) that I can rant to. While there is no commercial transaction per se for being that, I love that I have a few people that I can be myself with.
Things that would make my today great. Just one thing.
1. If I can salvage a tough client situation that I am in, it would be great. In fact that would make this entire week, entire month great.
A daily affirmation.
My happiness and sadness is controlled by no one but me. I need to become un-fuck-withable.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I had decided that I woudl fast. I could control myself till about 4. It was amazing. Need to try and see if I can try to not eat till 4 today as well.
2. I gave gyaan about EBC to a senior from MDI (Visham). I loved it! That was great.
3. I loved that there was a car at my call to drop me to the hotel. I realized that I love having such conveniences.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. Work. I am missing deadlines on various projects. I need to find a way to not do that. I know I am juggling multiple things. But there has to be a way to manage things better. Maybe not sleep enough. Maybe start the day early. I dont know. I need to find a solution. The life I have chosen will make me chase every opportunty I get. Maybe there is an answer somewhere?
2. If I could speak to AS, it would have been great. She and I have been trying to talk for almost a week now.
Quote for the day
You are what you do. Not what you say you’ll do. This is very very important to me. I am often on the side of merely saying. I need to tick over to the do part.

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had one. Regular. Not Diet. Killing myself softly 😀
#noCoffee – 0
#aPicADay – 15. Yesterday’s here.
Daily Journal – 16
Money spent – 2512. Thankfully I am spending less!
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 16
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 16

221021 – Morning Pages

I talk about how my dreams of a nation are getting shattered! And more.

8:54. Some hotel in Gurgoan. Before you ask, no I am not sick or tired of sleeping on a different bed each night. I actually like it. Let’s see how many days this continues.

Ok morning pages. I have to start by “declaring” that today I am fasting. Come what may. And I will not even have coffee. Or Coke. Only water. And chewing gum. I dont feel good. There’s way too much kachra that I have been feeding myself. I mean there’s nothing that comes close to eating the perfect Chole Bhature in Delhi and the after-taste is great and you feel good. But after a while, all the maida sort of blows up my belly. So, I am done. At least today. Not sure about tomorrow. But today, I am on a fast. If I eat something today, I will donate 5000 to a charity of Krishna’s choice.

With that out of the way, let’s talk the real morning pages.

So, unless you live under the cave, you would know that SRK’s son is in jail. And there was this Fab India ad that created a storm. And yesterday I discovered there was another ad by Ceat that made people mad. And I think I mentioned on morning pages that an email exchange on my alumni group sort of showcased the rift in the society and the angst that is simmering just below the surface.

And, it SUCKS. To a point that I have decided (and it’s a #lifeEvent for me) that I will move on. And I regret that I did not move on earlier. I don’t know what I would do (the skills I have are not really transferable) but I will move on. Even if I have to become a cabbie. I know it’s one life and time doesn’t turn back and I am closer to my death than how many years I have been around. I know my biggest “career” bet (with films with TRS, in terms of efforts, money, emotions) is right here. I know that I wouldn’t be able to start from scratch. But I know that I am out. I will probably plan the move. I mean it may take a few months. Or a few years. Or whatever. But I will move on. Here’s a promise to self. #sgLifeGoal. I will not die in India. Unless I can “affect” how India is.

So that.

Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|. It’s tough being who I am. Conflicted. All over the place. Spread out. Etc etc.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
Things that I am grateful for
1. The fact that I can decide on how to spend my time.
2. The fact that I can use the gift of the gab decent enough to get things done and create opportunities.
Things that would make my today great. Just one thing.
1. If I can fast, it would be great. I’ve been up for 40 odd minutes and I’ve just had water. Need to sustain this for another 14 or so hours 😀
A daily affirmation. I can control my urges and wishes. I am the master of my sense. If I decide to stay hungry, I can go for hours. And even days.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I ate Chole Bhature yesterday. Loved the taste. I realised that I am not as taste-dead as I thought I was.
2. It was amazing to sit by myself in an empty office of a friend and get a few things done.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. Work. Funnily, there is nothing on the top of my mind but work. I would have loved to get more things done than what I got done yesterday.
2. Food. If I could control the food that I ate, it would be better.
Quote for the day
Dar ke aage jeet hai! Lol!

Guess this is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 3
#noCoffee – 0
#aPicADay – 14. Yesterday’s here.
Daily Journal – 15
Money spent – 11268
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 15
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 15

211021 – Morning Pages

No morning pages per se. Just the journal. Read if you want to.

9:17. Gurgaon. Was at home in the morning. Came over in the morning. Have too much work. Next two days I need to show myself that how cool I can be.

I dont really have morning pages per se. I mean I dont have the time. But I do have the journal format that I will fill in. The good part of the journal is that it’s akin to the morning pages and that allows me to think about how the day was.

Here we go. Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|. I was mindfucked last night about a few things. But then I am ok now. This travel within Delhi is being a bitch. While I enjoy meeting people this travel is a problem.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 2. Did 10 minutes meditation yesterday. Havent got the time to do it today. Let’s see if I can manage 10 minutes during the day.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I am grateful that I have access to enough and more work for the next few days.
2. I am grateful that I have someone like Krishna that is invested in my success. He took time out to talk to someone else. Just to help me succeed.
Things that would make my today great
1. I need to tick more than 50% of things from my todo list.
2. I need to not eat anything for the rest of the day. I will try to have a lot of black coffee and some chewing gum. Let’s see.
A daily affirmation. I will be be able to manage my time and deliver on all the projects that are open.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I met a friend yesterday for coffee and it was amazing to be honest and upfront about life and all that. Even though I am not close with her, she is the best-est friend of another great friend. And thus I could be candid.
2. I went back home and met my parents after 3-4 days
3. Spoke to Vanita after a few days. That was amazing!
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could have stayed back in Gurgaon, it would have been better.
2. If I could stick to OMAD, it would have been amazing. I tried to. But once I went home, I had to eat what my mom had prepared.
Quote for the day
“Invest in yourself. It will pay you back with interest.”

Guess this is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 2. Avoided it yet again.
#noCoffee – 0.
#aPicADay – 13. Yesterday’s here.
Daily Journal – 14
Money spent – 12413.
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 14
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 14

201021 – Morning Pages

A short note on how the day was and what’s on the top of my head. Not a lot apart from work.

7:19. Yet another hotel room. Loving this life where I work for a large part of the day. And then I drag the small suitcase to the hotel that I want to. And while I do that, I catch up with a friend. And then I sleep. And then I wake up and get writing these morning pages. I could get used to a life like this. In fact, this entire movement around and not having a stable place to be at is giving me the feels! Yeah, man. The feels!

Ok. In terms of yesterday. Work and all. Thoughts and all. Life and all.

So the second day of the workshop went ok. It wasn’t as good as the first one. But went ok. I can improve on a few things. Let’s see how the next one is. One thing is for sure. I need to talk more about this to people. I mean I think I do a good job and this deserves to reach more people. Need to make it more popular and known. #note2self #sgTodo

The other things that I was supposed to, I did work on a lot but I could not find to close all of those. I’d say I could’ve done more. Let’s see when I get to a day when I have done enough to be able to have a big smile on my face when I am writing these morning pages.

Today I have a lot on my plate. Let’s see what I deliver on it. It’s 7:40 right now and once it’s about 9, I will have to literally dive into work! And I have a ~~few~~ lot of things that are open ever since I’ve come back from the base camp. Including a travelogue that I want to write about the basecamp trek!

In things that I want to capture is the intolerance and the worst and the best that religious conversations bring out. Yesterday, on the alumni group of my business school, the alumni committee wishes everyone on the occasion of Eid. Someone responded and asked why did they skip wishing on other festivals. It was not long before it took a communal angle. And then from there it just went downhill. People that have gone to a premier business school engaged in heated exchanges, name-calling, questioning, and dunno what else. And this is a group of highly educated, reasonably smart people that are probably more aware than an average joe.

I dont know what has happened to the country that I’ve grown in. I dont know what to do about it. Can’t blame others. Can’t find the problem. Can’t fix it. DAMN!

Anyhow. This is about the morning pages. Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :). I feel good. Even though I did not sleep ok, I am at a desk, staring into the sun, appreciating it as it comes up and fills me with life. No photo can do justice to how it is.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I am grateful that I have this sun coming up as I am writing this. I am so so so content in this moment. I have no worries and even though things I am working on need urgent attention, I am not anxious.
2. I am grateful that I love water so much. I have had 2 litres since I woke up.
3. I am grateul that I am able to plan a large part of my day.
Things that would make my today great
1. I would love if I can deliver on open projects. If not all, some.
2. I would be great if I could actually go back home. Only to meet my parents. And nothing else.
3. Like yesterday, If I can skip coke, it would be great. In fact, I would love it if I could do OMAD.
A daily affirmation. I look great and I have this brilliant sense of clothing and dressing.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I could yet again make things happen for people around me. This time I did not create opportunties per se but helped people close on projects that they needed help with.
2. I had a tough conversation with someone else about things that needed to be done. I am typically the kinds to avoid tough conversations. But I managed one. I should lean more into such tougher chats more often. #note2self
3. Got CM to agree to spending sometime everyday on helping me with where I want to be in life. I have tried to have multiple people like that but none seems to be panning out. Let’s see if CM sticks. Wish me luck.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could deliver on more things at work, I would have liked it. I had decided that I would not sleep last night till I finish various projects. But I could not. The day would’ve been better if I could.
2. If I could have got about 10 minutes of meditation in, it would have been better. I would try to get it in today. Right after shower. Let’s see.
3. Again, if I could skip coffee, it would have been amazing. To be honest, I would not be able to do it today either. But I can definitely skip Coke. And gun for OMAD.
Quote for the day
“Discipline not desire, determines destiny.” – Anon. Thanks to Harshit for sending me this. Must say that he sends me a quote everyday and I read those and they are really unlifting. He’s been doing it for 1069 days as we speak. I am amazed as his consistency!

Guess this is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 1. Avoided it. I almost had one. But then skipped.
#noCoffee – 0. Had quite a few. Let’s see if I can quit today on.
#aPicADay – 12. Yesterday’s here.
Daily Journal – 13
Money spent – 19501. Again, random expense. From today on, need to get these in order.
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 13
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 13

191021 – Morning Pages

Update about what I did yesterday, what I plan to do today. And some random things from here and there.

8:46. Some hotel. Just had breakfast. I have time till 10:30 I think before I need to get started. That means I can write this leisurely. Assuming I have enough to write about. Let’s find out.

So, yesterday went in a blur. Before I knew it, it was 2. And then before I knew it, it was 9. Right now I am at ease. Wearing a nice, crisp shirt. Here’s a thing. When I was in Mumbai, I never cared but now that I am with my parents where things are managed, it feels great to wear a crisp shirt. Even if gets crumped in the next 3 seconds.

Gurgaon gives you so many opportunities to each kachra that you are sort of unaware of when you are not here. I mean in just yesterday, I have had momos, egg chow mein (the kinds that only exist in India), Banana cake, the famous Gurgaon paranthas, and whatnot. All these are clearly fucking with my system. I can feel the stomach revolting. I need to fix my food intake but right now I am prioritizing work over it. I know I should not. But I dont know what to do. Guess this is why they say that financial independence is the best kinds.

Anyhow.

So, took a brand workshop yesterday for a startup. Totally enjoyed giving gyaan and seeing the aha moments come on the faces of people. I loved it. Like everyone else, I love it when I am helpful and I get paid for that! In fact, I think I was born to perform. Just that I do not have the talent to sing or dance or something. I can speak reasonably ok. I need to find how I take this ok to “great” levels. And what could I speak that makes people pay and allows me to live a fulfilling life. If you are reading this, you probably know me. Any ideas? What do you guys think?

Continuing with work, I happened to catch up with my ex-colleagues from the events industry fraternity. I realized that I miss them so much and I love them so much that I probably should’ve never quit. I may sound biased but there probably is no other industry like that. In the sense, you need to have the right mix of suaveness and street-smartness, to be able to even be a part of it. And I think I was right there. I had it. Just that I was unable to stick to it. Lol. Story of my life.

So yeah. That. And here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :). I feel good. I slept ok last night. I hadnt slept well the night before. So that worked out well.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1. Less distracted. But this is only becuase I could shuffle a few things and get closure on those. Need to continue to ship and I will hoipefully get better. And then I need to start with meditation.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I slept well last night. It was nice to have woken up before an alarm (like most days) but with some peace and sanity.
2. I loved the hot fast shower and the crisp shirt I got to wear about it. I never realised a nice shirt could mean so much. Oh, and I need to find a way to live in the hotel.
3. I could get two of my younger friends to collaborate and work together (NJ and CM). I am grateful that I can create opportunities for people around me.
Things that would make my today great
1. I would love it if the workshop is delivered well. Yesterday it went ok. Today, I need to see if I can deliver.
2. I have been asked to attempt a script. Let’s see if I am able to get that out of the way. It would be nice if I could.
3. I will try to skip Coke. If I can do that, nothing like it.
A daily affirmation. I can control my urges and not give in to things that could harm me. I will be able to avoid things like Coke today.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. Same as gratitude piece. That I could create opportunities for people around me. Just need to scale it.
2. Delivered the brand workshop reasonably well. Need to do that today as well.
3. A friend was in distress. I could help her while she went through a pot-boiler of emotions.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could avoid eating kachra, it would have been awesome.
2. If I did not waste time and ensured that I got more done, it would have been better.
Quote for the day
“Luck is the best superpower” – Elon Musk. And you need to work on developing luck. I can probably give a discourse on this (not that I have been lucky but I am fairly ok on that department).

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had 2. Will try and stop from after today.
#noCoffee – 0. Sipping on to one as we speak. Will stop from after today.
#aPicADay – 11. Yesterday’s here. I had decided to click a Red pic and I had to force myself to find redness around me. I had to sort of create the frame and it was an interesting challenge to do so. Let’s see what color do I choose right now.
Daily Journal – 12
Money spent – 21465. And no, I did not buy an asset per se. It was spent on something random that I hate hate hate.
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 12
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 12

181021 – Morning Pages

A quick post (and yet not a shortpost) about things on the top of my head. And things that I have planned for this week. Read on.

8:20. Yet another hotel. This trip of staying in a different bed each night is exactly what I had dreamed of all my life. Never knew I would do this in Delhi / Gurgaon and at my own expense. In my dreams, I was this high-flying super amazing, successful dude that the clients would give an arm and a leg for and hotels would be a small part of it.

Dont have a lot of time today. I need to get into work thingy by 9 AM. That means I have less than 20 minutes to write things and get going.

So yesterday was a very interesting day. I met a senior from college. Picked his brains about life and all that. Realized that I have just about 10 useful years left. Makes me sad that I have spent my entire life and haven’t achieved anything. I’ve not even written as much as I would’ve liked to.

While I was being sad about wasting my time and life, I stumbled onto some music from some live sessions that Lucky Ali is doing this year. I got even sadder. The guy’s a childhood hero and now he is literally off-sync. Of course, there’s this charm about listening to music that you loved so much when you grew up but age has clearly “rusted” his ability to sing. The good part is that I saw a post from him where he said Mahesh Mathai and he are working on another video. Which is a great thing. The guy directed the classic O Sanam – probably the first track that I fell in love with. And they are collaborating with Mike McCleary, again a long-time Lucky Ali contributor.

I also found and saw this TEDx talk where Lucky Ali talks about his life and philosophy. Do see it if you get time.

Wow. I wrote a lot. And there is more.

At the behest of a friend, I took the Enneagram Personality Test. You can take it as well for free here. I am not sure what is the interpretation and what are my next steps but the great thing is that I could predict the outcome even before I took the test. So that was a great thing. Pat on the back for scoring high on self-awareness bit 🙂

Guess this is about it.

Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :). I feel good even if I am sleep deprived. I have realised that I am very very happy and engaged when I am juggling multiple balls. Even if some of those fall down.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Super distracted. I can’t focus on a thing for more than 10 seconds.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I can create opportuntiies and circumstances that allow me to get things done.
2. I have people around me (including bosses, managers, clients) that understand where I am coming from and allow me to do what I want to do.
Things that would make my today great
1. I have a workshop to take. If I can deliver a good one, I will feel great about myself. I know I am good at it but each workshop is new with new participants and thus the chase of greatness in the success of it.
2. If I can close the open tasks from the last week, it would be great.
3. I really need to work on my health. It would be great if I could stop with the coke and coffee and carbs. And maybe get onto OMAD?
A daily affirmation. I am good at what I do and it’s my duty to deliver with the best of my abilities. And I must. I must do whatever it takes to get things done to the best of my abilities.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. Met people from Team SG. It was good fun to catch up with the future.
2. Got some work done. Yay! I need to just accelerate on that and do a lot more.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. I shouldnt have to stay up for work. If I had managed time better, it would have been nice. Lesson for the day is to manage time better.
2. I would have liked if I did not have all that coffee.
3. I would have loved if I did not have to struggle to find an autorickshaw to come to the hotel.
Quote for the day
“Be reliable. Unreliability can cancel out other virtues.” – Charlie Munger. Found this via this tweet. This one quote is VERY important to me. The kinds that I would like to pin up on the wall in front of me. If you add resourcefulness to the mix, you would become unbeatable!

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had 2.
#noCoffee – 0. Too much coffee. Need to get a grip. I will try to not have any nmore today. And then get onto the streak.
#aPicADay – ??. Was on 10. Yet to post today’s
Daily Journal – 11
Money spent – 9752. Wow!
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 11
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 11

171021 – Morning Pages

A Morning Pages from a Starbucks after a while. I think I got the mojo back just because I am here. Read on and find out!

8:39 AM. Starbucks. Somewhere in Gurgaon. 🙂

Just the thought that I am at a Starbucks makes me happy! The typing is faster and my mood is generally better. Yay! Having access to a public place to kickstart my mornings is THAT important to me. And since I know it now, I must do whatever it takes to create a routine, a life that ensures that I get my mornings to myself. #note2self

So I am in Gurgoan for the next few days. Let’s see how it is. So far, to be honest, I like it. I never imagined I would. To me, it was a concrete jungle without a soul. I was wrong. Even if I dont have any people around, I like it. For some reason. Probably, the novelty of a new city, the experience of new places and the wonder of a different culture (while we are in India, Gurgoan is distinct from Delhi, which is distinct from Mumbai) is alluring? Let’s see if this stays with me after a few days.

What could also be helping this cheery mood is that I am sleeping in hotels. Something that I love so much that I want to build a life where I literally live in a hotel. You know, a serviced apartment. The good part is that I am ready for it. In the sense, I dont have any material things (things like photos of loved ones, things that you gather from your travels across the world, memorabilia, books, white goods, and other such things) that I want to stock the place I live at with. Except for a toothbrush and toiletries. So that.

Also, since I am here (Delhi / Gurgoan) for an extended time, I am meeting all the friends, mentors, and others that I have not met in a while. And I am loving it. If I had my way, I would merely meet people, talk, and imagine what the world could be.

I must write about meeting Vijesh. Each time I meet him, he makes me think deeply about where I am in life and what I want from life. He always challenges me to think beyond what I am capable of. And he leaves me with questions that I continue to ponder upon long after I am done with meeting him. This time around as well he has asked me a few things that I am left thinking about. I need to find answers. Let’s see when I do that. Maybe around Diwali when there’s nothing else to do?

Guess this is it for the day. Today as well, I plan to meet some people and then sleep at a hotel. In case you are around Gurgaon, lemme know. Am here till Tuesday night for sure.

Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :). Probably because I am at a Starbucks and typing away to glory ;P
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Literally 0. I am still distracted. I need to find a solution to this.
Things that I am grateful for
1. The world I live in gives me the opportunities to find places like Starbucks that I can sit at and write.
2. The life I have created allows me to live by myself when I feel the need to. And yet it allows me to find connections whne I need to.
3. I have people like Vijesh that I can bank on, when I need counsel. Even when I dont need counsel, I can reach out and chat about life and all.
Things that would make my today great
1. Again, work. I need to finish all that is pending. Or else Monday would come crashing down on me. And I would hate that!
2. If I could get some unexpected meetings, it would be a nice surprise and it would be great!
A daily affirmation. I can be super productive when I want to be and I can do all that I am supposed to.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. Met Vijesh. This is the third time I am putting his name here 😀
2. Got some work done. Again, work is such a large part of how I live my life.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. I think it was as close to a perfect day as any. Maybe I could’ve ended it with a dinner with someone from opposite gender?
2. I would have liked to have better sleep than what I had yesterday.
3. If I could eat better, nothing like it!
Quote for the day
“Want to get lucky? Take more shots.”. Thanks to Harshit for sharing this.

And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had 4!
#noCoffee – 0. Had I dont know how many.
#aPicADay – 10. Today’s. Yesterday’s
Daily Journal – 10
Money spent – 3031
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 10
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 10

161021 – Morning Pages

A rambling post talking about things I am thinking about this Saturday morning. A lot of it is work. Need to get it out of the way.

7:17. Home.

The screen time across devices has reached a pandemic level. I am spending more than 18 hours on the phone and the laptop. I need to control it. I am literally addicted to social networking websites and I am scrolling those feeds without thinking. I am not even registering what I am seeing. I am merely moving. I am constantly checking even when I am engaged in other things. Need to get away from that.

Yesterday was good. I met one of the people I care for. I spoke to two more that I care for. And I met the friend that I literally grew up with. Drove around the town (realized how much I love driving) with him and talked about what he could do (realized how much I love thinking about work). Or what we could do together. We went to Theo’s and ate. Realised how much I love good cafes and getting out of the house even though I dont like the food. The concept of someone serving you and you being able to sit and all that is nice. I love them. If you are in Noida and want to eat good continental food or baked things, you have to go eat at Theo’s. At Theo’s I even had Diet Coke but that’s ok. It’s from the next week that I plan to get into action. So that’s cool.

#epiphany just happened. Maybe I dont like spending time at home because I dont have things that bind me at home. You know, relationships. People. Etc. Or may be I dont have the kind of space that I want – physical or personal. Maybe this is why I love the idea of moving from one place to another. Maybe this is why I hate indoors? Need to think.

In other things, saw this tweet where Visa (love this guy’s work and thoughts) says that Morgan wrote 3000+ articles before he became the phenomenal writer of Psychology of Money. This has reaffirmed my view on quantity vs quality debate. I need to double down on the output and continue writing. I mean I want to make a life as a content creator. I have merely written like 3 pieces and I am hoping to be famous. How dare I? Need to write a 100 pieces to start with. And then a 1000. And then ask the question to God, the Universe or whatever about success and failure.

So that!

I guess this is it. Oh, must log that I couldn’t get sleep last night for some reason. I was up till 3ish. Need to fix this.

Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: 🙂
Right now I am ok. I have just woken up and I am little tired and groggy (was up till 3 AM). Need to get back to better sleep and a better state of mind. I think if I stop being on so many devices all the time, it would be better.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0.
Literally 0. Distracted all the time. Need to find a solution.
Things that I am grateful for
1. So many people put their faith in me. I am grateful that I have them around. It gives meaning to my life.
Things that would make my today great
1. Work. I have been stalling it this entire week. And this is the week after the trek. I should’ve done a lot to be honest. But I did not. I need to ship a lot of things. Must work hard today.
2. Better food. I need to be mindful of what I eat. Today on, I will get onto OMAD. Haven’t done it in a while. Will be tough. Let’s see if I can manage.
A daily affirmation
I am a super hero and I can get things done at a snap of my fingers. I will show how cool I am and will get things done.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. Met Monu. Spoke to people from #teamSG.
2. I drove a car after a while. I realised that I love it so so much that it’s not funny.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could’ve avoided Diet Coke, I wouldn’t have broken the streak.
2. I wish I found the time to get some work done. It’s just playing too much on my mind. And if it’s wrecking such havoc on how I think and I am living, I need to find a way out. It is not worth taking all this stress. #note2self.
3. If I could have slept on time, it would have been nice.
Quote for the day
“In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.” – Yogi Berra

PS: I could only write one thing that I am grateful for. I need to ensure that each day I force myself to think of three things.

PPS: I also need to avoid repetition. I wrote about a thing and then I am repeating it in the journal. I need to find a way to not waste words.

And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0. Had one Diet Coke yesterday.
#noCoffee – 2
#aPicADay – 8. I am yet to post today’s. I plan to take a new one. So if I post today, I will make the streak 9. If I dont, I am back to 0.
Daily Journal – 9
Money spent – 6361. I am back to tracking it rigourously. Ergo.
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 9
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 9