Carl Sagan Archives

Wk 19-25 – Weekly Notes

Notes, thoughts and reflections from the 19th week of 2025.

5:40 AM, May the 13th.
Tuesday. This is that weekly review that never went out.

If not for AA. Thanks, AA. I am grateful that I have folks like here that push me towards consistency.

Thing is, like most weeks, I started writing this on a Saturday, I wrote some and then I thought I would write the rest on a Sunday. And then I had to spend the day with someone, solving their crisis and Sunday went in a jiffy. I then pushed this for a Monday morning. But then that never happened. Cos Monday Monday’d with a million calls.

But here I am.
With the review.
Lets see where we go.

💭 Highlights, reflections and notes from the week.

1/ Looking for an EA / Helper / Business Analyst / Whatever you may want to call it.
At Meru, I am looking for someone to work very closely with me and make things happen. At C4E, many people have played that role – from SJ2 to SJ to CM to AK to Bri and many more in the middle. Each of these people has hopefully learnt a lot from me. In exchange, I paid them whatever I could. And then I took their help in getting things done.

At Meru, I need someone like that. I would like to run faster and thus I need this person. If you know someone who’s ok with an 8 lakh kind of CTC, is in Mumbai and is willing to wrk with me closely, please recommend.

Do read this post as well.

PS: While UTMs are great for marketers, I hate them!

2/ The India-Pakistan War
I wish I had more time to write on this. But I have to write this…

In one line, despite WHATEVER happens, am not on the side of war. Or on the side of nationalist boundaries. I know a lot of close friends and connections are cheering and rooting for military action that India took. I know there are rational reasons for that. I know we shouldn’t be aggressed up on. I know innocent lives were lost and they have to be avenged. I know I am a great fan of Mahabharata, that literally is about the greatest war of all times.

I also know that I am not the greatest fan of MK and yet I love his lesson on non-violence.

And yet I am not for war.

I wish I had the words to talk about why the war is a bad idea for everyone, everything. I wish more folks exercised restraint. I wish there was dialogue.

I would park this by sharing this.

3/ Kids in Mumbai
NG and VM are here for a few days. Krishna was here for a couple of days. And I am trying to spend time with them. And as a result, I am wasting time. I am being irregular with my updates. I am spending more time outdoors. I am not doing these reviews. I am scrambling at the last minute to get things done.

I need to learn how to manage time better.

The other good thing that am loving is that I have two young boys willing to listen to me. Wait, I have an idea! How about I give them my letters and have them discuss?

Point aside, I need to find a way to become better with my time.

3.1/ Hosted a Mini CSS
While people were / are here, AK hosted an evening full of music and conversations.

I have two videos from there. I am not uploading them here. But I am willing to share with whoever asks. Here’s the link.

4/ Voice Training
I talked about how I want to be better spoken. I chatted with Riya. And now, I have got Sonu Sir to give me some homework. And it’s similar to what Riya told me. And I know that I wont be able to do it. Sigh!

Apart from this, I saw a DastanGoi performance by Sikander Khan. It was good and could’ve been better. I am super inspired to do more to support more artists.

5/ Got Paras Chopra’s Book
Yet to read it fully but love his work and I am excited that he’s poured his ideas in a book. Also see this deck.

If you point out three mistakes in this post, I will gift you a copy ;P

6/ “The world was made by people who gave a shit”
I dont know where I read this first (I suspect, some tweet by Toby) but I have been thinking a lot about this. At work. At personal life. At everything else. I really want to be the person who gives a shit.

Contrast this to how we are trained and taught at India. Jugaad. Chalta hai. Need to fix this!

Next time you see me saying “koi baat nahi”, please tell me about it and I will fix it.

7/ Antler Next 100
Like I spoke last week, Antler released their Next 100 report. We at C4E got together and chatted on it. Lots of lessons for me. Need to convert those into action. AK, if you are reading this – do your thing.

8/ AI Experiments
I have been thinking if I should go do somethings with AI by myself. In the last few years I have not done anything by myself. I have only got things done. Which has served me well, TBH. I learnt the art of delegating, I groomed some folks and overall we are at a net positive.

However with AI, I have this FOMO like I had with Crypto and Web 3. So, I want to give in and do something by myself. Just that I dont know if I have the time to do this. I mean there are more urgent battles to fight – Meru, C4E. And there are other Shauqs (of book2, poker, pool, films etc.).

Or may be I can take one of the battles and use AI to ship something?

TBH, I dont know what I would do. Let’s see.

9/ Brain Games
I’ve been playing Peak, Lumosity and Elevate lately.

I dont know if these make a difference to anyone’s life but I do play these. I like the idea of challenging myself.

I used to play these long ago and it’s interesting to see that I am not doing as well as I did 3-4 years ago. Maybe I will get used to those games and become better? Or maybe these games actually work? Who knows!

Anyone has any experience here?

10/ Clean My Notes
I take a lot of notes. And in the last 2-3 weeks I have not organized those. I need to work on that. So I will do a time block and do that. #sgtodo

So that was from the week!
Phew!

📷 Some Photos from the week gone by

Here are some photos from the week gone by.

I loved that I was at the beach almost everyday this past week!

🈺 The LARGE objective from the week gone by? And the next week!

2025 Plan and Book 2

Both haven’t happened. I will drop the 2025 plan.

On book 2, I have hit a random roadblock. I will unclog it. You will hear about the next steps on the update for Week 20.

☑️ What did I get done this week?

I will give a one-line report on things I got done on various things that are important to me. I will only talk about things that I got done. Shipped. Not WIP.

At this point, the following things are important to me (I know too many but…) and these are IN ORDER.

Health
Meru
C4E
Brand SG
People (Family, Friends, Strangers, etc)
Book2
Shauk (Music, Films, Poker etc)

Health. Last week was a tad better. I ate better. I still need to go to a skin doctor and the Foxo thing. But I was better. I will give myself a 0.
So, 0 there.

Meru. Good week. My co-founder was traveling and I had the baton. I think we moved the needle on most things. So that’s cool. A 0, tbh. I will give a 1 when we see progress.
So, a 1.

C4E. Some action. Again, I dont want to track this. Letting C handle the kitchen.
So, a 0.

Brand SG. AK has been releasing some of our conversations. I am sure it’s helping in some way. So, this is not really -1 this week. And no, it’s not even a +1 either. So, 0.
0.

People. I think +1. I was surrounded by friends and strangers and love and inspiration and all that.
So, a 1

Book 2. No action. For almost a month now!
-1

Shauk. Apart from mini CSS, no action on this. I didnt play pool, I didnt play poker. I didnt travel. Etc etc.
So, -1

So the overall score is 0 for this week.

Trends from the previous weeks: -4, -5, -5, -3, -2, -1
The max I can get is 7 in a week. Let’s see when I get to it.

📊 The tracker from the last week

I havent been filling the tracker properly.

Nevertheless, here’s it.

Lemme know what you see.

📖 Interesting Reads from the last week

I didn’t have a lot of time to read or reflect in the last week. But of the few things I read, here are some links…

Paras Chopra’s slide deck. Link
Shaan VP on Taste. Link. Staying on taste, I have bookmarked this by Utsav but yet to read. Taste has infact become a recurring conversation in my head.
Shaan VP on Creativity. Link
AK on her graduation. Link

I know I should read more, reflect more and write more!

🧠 Reminders from last week

This section captures things that I want to not forget. I will copy paste these week on week and track updates. I will also add these to SG’s Office.

Here are things from the past few weeks that I want to remember. And no, this may not be a comprehensive list. In categories.

Long term
- Professional pool / snooker / poker – no action.
Health
- Kitchen setup (incomplete)
- Gym membership (incomplete)
C4E things (I will stop tracking these things and have C do these)
- C4E Base
- Design
- Borderless agency
Shauk / Personal
- Better dressed – lol
- Use of money to buy time – on this!
- Find love – lol!
- Demand more from life
- Adding this – speak better!

In case you know me, lemme know if I have missed something.

🥡 So, one thing that defines the past week?

Slack.
I am taking it easy. I need to do more. I need to remind myself that the day I dont work, I dont eat that day. Need someone or something to push me more to make me work harder and smarter. I am merely leaning on my people and I know they are working for themselves and at best, for us. But not for me. So I need to move my ass.

Come on, universe.

Oh and in the previous weeks, it’s been Getting back to action. Busyness, Action, Survive, Looking Up, Survival, Taste, Community, Respect, Money, People.

—
Phew!
Lemme know what you think.
See you around.

Oh, and this too shall pass!

PS: This series of posts is inspired by Thej and his weekly notes. The previous editions are here: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 (missed), 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (missed), 16, 17 (missed), 18

PPS: Please do point typos. Grammarly is not working well and I don’t have energy to cut paste edit this in some other spell check thing.

PPPS: In case you see me being inconsistent in anything – work, writing, reviews etc, PLEASE do point out.

PPPPS: I had almost skipped this. But thanks to AA, I wrote this. I am glad. I need more cheerleaders like her in my life. Will try and find them!

270121 – Morning Pages

Rant. Don’t read. Trigger Warning (TW).

6:25.

I have had a fitful sleep. And I had a really bad day yesterday. And I am mindfucked like I’ve never been before.

I had an important meeting and like all important meetings I ensured that I was on time and I was ready and all and just when I had the meeting, the Internet stopped. I mean I know that Goa doesn’t offer the most reliable internet but it sucked af that it went away a minute before the meeting was to start!

Today I have another important meeting. If there is any interruption on the internet today, I promise I will fucking go back to Mumbai. Or Delhi. I have to include this in my ultimate guide of working from Goa that if your work requires synchronous video calls, you either live in Panjim (the city) or you do not consider Goa as a place to be. I am not even sure what would happen in monsoons.

The other thing that I am thinking a lot about and I don’t know how to stop thinking about is the ongoing farmer’s protest. I thought I knew all about the issue and how the new laws will fuck the lives of farmers even more. How the laws are against the long-term interest of farmers. How large companies will dictate terms and squeeze farmers even more. But then more narratives, probably sponsored by the very large companies (that stand to benefit) started coming out. And those are compelling, paint a contrasting picture and so lucid in their arguments that I am actually thinking that the laws may actually benefit the farmers. And the nation. Fuck, now I don’t even know what to believe anymore.

Which to be honest is ok. I anyway don’t know a lot about a lot of issues that I should be knowing about. I don’t vote. I don’t know a thing about anti-muslim propaganda. I don’t know about issues of the LGBTQi community. I have been on the fence about the battle between natives and migrants in almost all states. I don’t know the reason why people are super attached to the idea of their God being better than others. Or why your community, city, state, religion, the country is better than others, and how everyone else needs to convert to your religion. I remained out of action on the CAA and NRC even though it was as archaic, unfair as anything else ever has been.

But I don’t like the idea of divide and rule. And brainwashing simple people (like me — I don’t understand complex arguments, neither am I bright to know the long-term repercussions of the new rules and laws that we are creating). The worse is the use of force. Fucking barbaric. Something that we could have done when life was all about survival in caves. The world is almost ready to establish a colony on Mars and here we are. Gloating over the victory of mandir wahin banaenge. I mean Bhagwan Shree Ram was for real, would he want to bless a temple that took years of battles and I don’t know how many dead bodies to make?

God is a mythical thing. I understand that some people may want to take solace that there’s a higher power, omnipresent that looks after you. Heck, in my weakest moments I have also thought about God. I have asked for kindness. I can remember two distinct times when I had to rely on God. Once to save a friend from a disease. Once for an event that I made a mess of. Both times things worked out. I don’t know if it was God or what. But I can totally see how people can get attached to these and start believing in God. I mean even I walked some 20 km to Siddhi Vinayak once. May be there is God after all. May be we do have meta-spiritual mystical powers that help all those tarot card readers and astrologers make a living. Good for them.

But force? Coercion? I mean, a comedian is in jail in MP for saying something derogatory against the Hindu Gods. An educated family killed their daughters over something that a priest told them. The Dalits are oppressed to date. Wait. WTF is even a Dalit? Or a Hindu? Each person is human irrespective of caste, gender, sexual preference. Arent we are freak accidents? Did we not get dealt a had that we could not choose in the ovarian lottery? Who decides that someone is a Dalit or a Suvarna or Upper Caste? That baba with a long flowing beard that plays frisbee and drives Mercs and teaches you the art of “living” is talking about how the government needs to cede control over places of worship to the devotees. Isn’t that inciting people?

Fuck I am so so ignorant. Vegetating. Happy in the bubble around me in my head that, “Wow, Mr. Garg, you are in Goa. You are the coolest. You are away from the mess. And you have all the sunshine and stray dogs and fucking unreliable Internet for company.”

Fuck!

Back to the incidents of yesterday.

I remember I called my parents (they live in Delhi) and I remarked in passing that there’s a rally and I hope that it’s peaceful and all. My father commented on how it would be – he grew up with farmers! And then I forgot about it (yeah, forgot about it – I am that indifferent, that casual). And then while I was in a meeting, I took a break to pee and checked Twitter. And saw images from the Red Fort. About how the protest had turned violent and people (both on the side of the farmers and cops) were hurt. Some farmers died, some cops got injured, and how the separatists have infiltrated the movement.

Since then, I have been reading non-stop. My eyes hurt. My head hurts. There’s no internet and yet I am non-stop tapping on refresh on my phone even in my sleep. About how Nishan Sahib is different from the Khalistani Flag. And how the Tiranga was disrespected. And how religious symbolism (a saffron flag atop Babri Masjid) is never good. And yet these symbols move nations.

It took my country to burn to make me take note of how ignorant I am.

The thing that makes it worse is that people I respect, the ones that I believe are progressive and think of India first and humanity first and are apparently good in their hearts and heads are making some of the most flawed arguments. No, I don’t want to name them. And yes, the arguments I think are flawed may be the most sensible ones and yet the commonsensical brain in me is unable to digest those.

Someone rightly said once. Heroes fall. I need to get over this hero-worship mode that I am perpetually in.

Oh, any in Goa, at least the places am hanging out at? They don’t even know what’s happening in Delhi. They are happier that unlike the rest of the country, there’s no dry day in Goa on Republic Day.

Fuck it’s sickening. I can totally related to Chris and other such people. There’s merit in being a hippy. And there’s merit in being a Satoshi. Or even a Che for that matter. Take shit in your hands and dictate terms on how you would live, even if the understanding is limited or flawed af.

No, I am not saying Chris, Che, Satoshi, Mohandas, or any of those legends were flawed. They could have been. But they took a call and did things that they felt or thought or considered right. Unlike me. I can’t even seem to make a living, leave alone thinking independently. I am a random fuck stuck in a rut.

The other day I was ~~happy~~ ecstatic that I seem to have found yet another way to discharge my calling as a person. And today, I am

I am reminded of three lines as I end this. I may get the articulation wrong but they went something like…

One. “jinhe naaz hai, hind par wo kahan hai?”

Rabbi did a brilliant take on this. Here. We need more Rabbi’s. More Dylans. And not Badhshahs or Gurus. Fuck, not even Lucky Ali. I don’t believe that I am saying this. I’ve been a fan since I was a child. We don’t need stories and hymns of unrequited love no more. We rather need poets and writers and singers and other popular people to take a stand and educate the masses on these issues. Someone needs to put some sense. Atleast in me. And others. Fuck it sucks that I don’t have an iota of a clue about what’s happening around us.

Two. “Ek zabardast toofan aaye aur uda de chuppi ki duniya“

I first saw this on a tee at People Tree. I think this is by Faiz. I am unable to find a source though. But to me, it means that you need some earth-shattering thing to happen and nudge you into action. I have thought about this often. I have seen some great things, good times, bad times, even times when I thought life was meaningless. But these lines always drag me back. I am waiting for almost 40 years now. Half my life is over. And yet there’s been no toofan. And there’s been no impact, no dent, no headway that I’ve made. It sucks to be like this.

Really.

Three. Pale Blue Dot.

By Carl Sagan. The long-text is here. See the video below. The pertinent lines that I go back to often are…

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
– Carl Sagan

Pale Blue Dot. Carl Sagan.

So that’s that.

I think I am done for the day.

I am still confused, stifled, angry, sad, and all that. There’s so much happening that I don’t even know how to process. All I can do is rant and speak out loud in the wilderness of the Internet.

And no, there’s book2 today.

How can I? My country is burning and fucking am thinking about writing books. To what end? To give that escape to whoever reads what I write? Do we need the escape? Or do we need to act? And fix shit?

Well, who am I to talk about these things? I don’t know a thing about the real world or real life. I don’t even vote.

Of course, I hope tomorrow is better.

And if it’s not, I hope I can move onto the next thing that distracts me. That’s how I think life will pass by – moving from one distraction to another. Without taking a stand on one.

Over and out.

301220 – Morning Pages

Rant about how the world is being unfair to me. And how I would publish on a ‘Work With Me’ manifesto. You can ignore if you want to.

7:49 AM.

I was up at 530. And then I dozed off again. And then I woke up at again at 6. And then dozed off at 630. And then woke at 730 again. And just when I was about to sleep again, I decided that I need to get my butt moving. Took me two hours but here I am.

The year is coming to a close in a day and I am still to do my 2021 lists. Maybe I will spend the rest of the day with those. Let’s see.

So, I met with a friend from MDI yesterday (GK). This was the first time I was meeting with him, after MDI. And a lot has changed since then. It was tough to hold a conversation with him for the time I spent with him but it was compassionable and it felt easy. Guess that’s what cults do to you. Reinforces my belief that education at pedigreed schools and colleges is imperative.

I told him what all have I been up to lately. Asked him about his trip. Realised that he’s been spending time with dance. Told him that I want to pick up dancing as it will help my social skills. Our chats ranged from Jordon Peterson to Future of Humanity to Startups to Careers to MDI to common friends, food, and a lot more. I even narrated the outline of book2 and he seems to have liked it!

He talked about his belief that you could only be exceptional at 2-3 things in life and for multipotentialites like me, the real pain is to quit doing all the other thousand things that you know you are good at! May be that is the pain that I need to go thru to become great?

Oh, while parting, he sent me this…

Greatest lesson ever!

The other thing at the top of my head is that for some reason, the game (the world) and the players (aka people) in the game are not being kind to me. More so, I feel they are out there to take undue advantage. I have many examples but let me talk of two that are affecting me so much that I am, well, fucked in the head.

A, am trying to make a short film to learn the craft. And to of course pay a tribute to the track that I have come to love so much (Ankur Tewari’s Dil Haare). No, AT has not commissioned. He doesn’t even know this. I. am merely going. touse the track as backing audio. I don’t plan to release it except put it on youtube.

So, now, I have a limited understanding of the camera and I have been trying to meet people to seek help on it. And everyone that I talk to seems to be asking for a ridiculous amount of money. Even though I sound like an n00b when it comes to films, I am a co-producer with 2 short films now and I think I know what it takes / costs. And yet I am being taken for a ride. And the worst is that I can see that they are taking me for a ride. And I am telling them that I can see what they are doing and yet they are insistent! Funny No?

I am not expecting them to work for free. I am not taking away credit from them. All I am expecting is that they are reasonable. And yet they are not being.

B, The other is at the podcast thing. Without getting into specifics, people that I thought were nice and reasonable and easy to work with are acting funny. And I don’t like it. And I made it clear in as many words that I did not like it. And yet I am being disrespected. I mean all I have earned in life is a bit of respect (that too went down the drain when I had to take on debt to pay bills) and if something questions that, I don’t know what to do.

I was angry af but then I saw Pale Blue Dot and Steve’s video and I was ok.

But I would make some changes in the way I work. I’ll come to it in a bit but before that, I think the world needs to learn humility and kindness and niceness. The world needs to learn that they are not in a one-time, winner-takes-all game. Life is long and you are known by the reputation that you build. What matters is what people talk about you when you are not in the room!

Anyhow. So the changes.

Here is a list.

Paperwork. I was one of those that would trust a handshake when I went into a business or work transactions. Now, I will ensure that everything I do will have a paper trail with everything in black and while. I need to spend time with contracts, terms, entry clauses, exit clauses, etc. I don’t like the idea of doing this and I thought I could change the way I worked. But no longer.
‘Work With Me’ Manifesto. Because I like working with multiple people on multiple projects, I need to write a ‘Work With Me’ Manifesto that I would mandate everyone to read and understand and internalize. I would add parts about trust, kindness, respect, long-term thinking, etc in that. Will even make it public and publish it on the blog for everyone to read and comment and make it watertight. Each new project that I get onto, the first email that I exchange, would have this. Update (as on 14 Aug 2021) – the manifesto is here. Still WIP though.
Live in Public. I have been talking about it last few days. I need to accelerate it. You think blockchain will solve all the trust deficit that we have? Nah. Living in Public will. Each time I get into a contract with someone, even though it may sound premature, I would make it public and post on the blog and on Twitter (the two places that I trust more than God).

That’s about it I guess for the time being.

While writing, I realised. I am still not cool btw 🙁

Moving on.

Had an interesting epiphany yesterday while I was waiting for GK to arrive. I realized that since I started writing these morning pages, I have not been writing at all. Plus these morning pages are like journals where I merely talk to myself. I am not creating content that I normally would. the ones where I want others to read, consume, think, bring about a change in their lives, give me feedback on, etc. Need to change that in 2021. Maybe bring back SoG?

Talking of change, the other thing that I would change in 2021 is that I would work very hard on creating a brand for myself.

This is something that I think about every year but hardly work on – I am way too introverted and shy to do this. Plus I think what is that I have achieved to be able to tom-tom myself? Isn’t the world already full of too many cluster-fucks, self-congratulatory messages, neverending stories of pathos, societies of mutual admiration, and more?

Why do I want to add to that noise?

I don’t know yet but what I do know is that I need to be out there if I want opportunities to come to me. And more importantly to people that I know of. And I need a brand for that. And that brand needs to stand atop one thing that encapsulates it all. May be marketing. May be side projects. May be Goa. I don’t know.

But brand SG has to get elevated in 2021.

And finally, before I end this, Sonali’s digital art is now online here! Yay! Please head over there and see if you like it and if you do, please consider spreading the word, and still better, buying!

With this, over and out!