Category: Writing

150221 – Morning Pages

I talk about how I spent the weekend, think I am thinking on and new things am planning!

8:18. I thought it was 8. Time flies. Anyhow. Morning Pages. A new week.

This one comes from, well, a Starbucks! The one at Versova. I cant imagine to tell you what a relief it is to have a business that is operational and allows you to work in peace (and offers Jazz music as background noise). I wont be surprised if I decide to stay back in Mumbai just for a Starbucks! Really!

Or maybe create something similar in Goa? I wish I had the money and I would have done that!

Anyhow, so, the weekend was spent like a thug. Watching TV, eating like a man who’s been starving for years, going to dinners, lunches, coffee dos, taking pictures, tracking the sunset, making phone calls etc etc. Primarily with friends from MDI (more on this later). I think that’s not a bad life to have if you have a stable job. I mean you get paid a bomb and you spend all that money on fancy things at fancy places with fancy people. What’s wrong with that? Who cares if young activists are being jailed? Who cares if people are losing their jobs over tweets? Farmers are anyway not our problem. So let them stay camped on the borders of Delhi. COVID is no longer a threat. Let’s party.

Damn. I feel so so so guilty of wasting time over the weekend. I should have simply worked and finished things that were open on my plate and used the time to meet people while I am in Mumbai. Damn I need to be less critical on myself 🙁

But then what’s gone is gone. I can make sure today is better! Will try to not waste time. Let’s see how it goes. On to morning pages. As I write this, I know I will not have the time to work on #book2. I will try to but I can’t promise. Let me get on with it and unlike a journal, lemme try to write about things that are clouding my head. You know, the original purpose of morning pages.

A. Mumbai vs Goa
I don’t have very structured thoughts here. Ofcourse. Lemme just dump things here. So, when I am in Mumbai, I feel I have more time on my hands. I don’t know why. It just feels like that. Maybe because I spend less time chasing the Internet? And the entire city around me trying to work and get things done and all that? Maybe because of moving around / traffic etc, I think I am a lot more planned with time and all? I haven’t been able to pinpoint. Let’s see how this week goes. And I’ll hopefully figure out the answer.

But I have to say that I spend a lot more time in traffic when I am here. I mean, on the weekend I spent 9 hours commuting. Really. 9ish hours. Andheri to Worli. Worli to Bandra and back. Worli to SoBo to Worli to Bandra to Andheri. In Goa, maybe cos I don’t venture out of North Goa, I spend far less time on travel?

So that. Guess this week will help me add many more dimensions to how I am thinking about Mumbai vs Goa thingy.

B. Friends from MDI
Like I said, over the weekend, I met friends from MDI and it was nice. I was myself and there was this tacit camaraderie that I think I miss when I am with others. I guess that’s what shared backgrounds do. I guess this is what they mean when they say that relationships compound.

The other thing I realised that I am not the life of the party. I was with friends and most of our conversations were dry, drab, philosophical and you know, boring. JKB came in and suddenly, the place and mood was so much lighter and better and funner. JK is amazing. Glad that I can call him a friend. But the point is, I am not that. No, I dont want to be that. I am just stating.

The other thing that I realised is that I do not have a lot of friends or people that I go back so long with. While its fairly easy for me to meet new people, I think I shouldve invested more in people. No, it’s not too late. I will invest starting now. I think the drive I was on where I would prioritise myself over others need changing. I need to be there for my friends when they need me. I think Vivek will laugh at this 😀

C. Starbucks.
How can I write something and not praise Starbucks? So we were at this new coffee place in Bandra where all the hipsters were hanging out. This group of friends and I were trying to find a place to sit. There was this lady sitting on the table next to it. We asked her if the table we wanted was empty. She politely said, yes it was. And we sat. And then I thought I knew her. I asked her if we’ve met. Lol, no, not as a pickup line. She said she worked at a Starbucks in BKC and now she’s here. And then, she told me that she remembered me (and not my name, which is ok) and told me that my regular order was an Americano and I would come in early and I would take the only chair and table at the outlet. And then she said you are still dressed the way you were all those months ago (formal shirt, linen shorts, chappals).

Insane how well trained these people at Starbucks are! The lady remembered how I dress up, what order I had and where I sat. And I havent been to that particular store in

Oh, here’s a pic from that new place…

Clicked by Saurabh Garg, at JavaPhile Bandra

D. My first Clubhouse
After lurking in the shadows for so long, I finally made my Clubhouse debut. In a room where we talked about books. We were to talk about a passage from a book that has left an impression on you. I talked about a para from Jack Kerouac’s brilliant para from On The Road. It goes…

…the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

From On the Road by Jack Kerouac

I think I enjoyed being there. Need to use it lot more.

So yeah, that’s about it for today I think. Have a crazy day / week ahead. I like this rushed life to be honest. I am not made for taking it easy!

Chalo, more tomorrow. Over and out.

140221 – Morning Pages

Nothing important on this one. Just a random piece of text from, well, a Starbucks!

9:36 AM

I am writing this from a Starbucks and I am telling you that there is no better feeling than this being able to walk-in to a store, sit on a comfortable chair, hike the laptop on a table that’s just at the right height, and a connection that works! It’s magic. Actually, it’s not magic. It’s more hygiene than anything else but when you live (or want to live) in Goa, these things look like magic!

So, morning pages.

Yesterday was interesting. I was like a vegetable and thugged it out. I binged on Brooklyn 911 and fuck it’s amazing. Exactly the kind of humor I want to have. I also saw Pride and Prejudice in parts. Fuck it’s been done so well that I actually pined for the freedom and opportunities to create things like that! Ok, too many fucks in one sentence.

The thug-life did not end at the binge. I actually went out with a few friends for dinner and drinks. No, I don’t drink. Yes, I ate like a mad man. The place where we were at, there were so many people that probably would put pre-covid parties to shame. The other shameful thing I observed was that kids as young as 16 (they looked like 16 or younger) were smoking, abusing alcohol, and living their hedonistic life. Yeah yeah, I sound like their father or that disgruntled uncle that you can’t seem to ever please.

In fact, in the spirit of living in public, here’s a confession. I am one of those that is never satisfied. I want to be divinely discontent but I think am devilishly discontent. What this does is that it leaves me asking everyone around me to push themselves to do more. And I often border on being pushy. And that means I am often not so kind when I talk to people. You know that question that Indian parents ask when you score 98%? Am that! So yeah. That. Why do I bring this up? I don’t know. It just came up when I wrote about kids indulging. I don’t understand how people do not work and while time like that. Vegetative-ness is not for me.

So that. The house still remains in mess. To a point that I dont even want to start cleaning it. But then, me being me, I did start with it. At least the bedroom. The problem with the rest of the house is that there’s no space to even walk. Yeah. Mumbai houses. And the boxes that contain all my life’s things. Imagine. Life reduced to a few boxes and eventually an urn of ash. And not even that if you decide to walk into the forest (the way I want to go, when I go). Fuck reminds me of Carl Sagan. Do see this.

Do that.

Oh, I have been sending some “writing tips” to a people on Whatsapp. I am not sure they work for people but I really enjoy writing those. In case you want in, you can join this admin-only group.

Guess that’s about it. I know I have more to say. I know I should say more. I know there is more to morning pages than a quick journal. I know I know a lot. I know I dont know even more than what I know. I know am merely indulging now and have stopped making sense a long time ago. I know. I know.

Over and out.

130221 – Morning Pages

Just another update from just another day in the string of days that seem to blend into one another. Wow, what a line!

8:34 AM

Starbucks! Yay! This thing about being able to walk into a place that’s ready to help you get to work (AC, Internet, Coffee, Chair, Table, etc) is one of the most underrated things in life. Thanks to this “predictability”, yesterday I shuttled between three different outlets and I spent close to 2000 bucks. No, I did not pay for coffee per se – it was more for ambiance, AC, cleanliness, politeness, friendly nods, and more! Businesses in Goa need to understand this tweak how they work.

So I have a lot on my plate today. While most people tend to chill on the weekend, my weekends are more packed. Simple reason. I try to do things that I haven’t had the time to work on during the week. And most people that need me to get back to them do not work. And thus I have a super relaxed time when I can do things that I want to, at my pace, in the way I like to.

No this is not a rant. I am sorry if it comes acorss like that.

Moving on. The morning pages journal for the day. Lemme address this conundrum between pages and journal. When I started, it was supposed to be a tool to help me with my creativity. But when I started writing, this became a journal where I would rant and write about things that happened in the day that went by and the things that I have planned for the day ahead. So, the “creative” journal has reduced to a daily journal. I feel that I need to break out of this habit of journaling but then I don’t want to. I mean I started this more than two months ago. Proud to say that I have not missed a single day. There were days when I was busy – those days I wrote less. But I did. Along the way, learned discovered quite a few things about myself. I think this is one of the best habits I have acquired in the recent past. I just need to nudge this to create better things. If you are reading this and want to pick a hobby that makes you better, morning pages.

Anyhow. Onto the pages.

Like I said, I have a lot on my plate today. And a lot more on my mind. Lemme try and pour it all here. Like always, in no specific order.

I am shifting to a calendar-based system for managing time. And funnily I was supposed to write these from 8 to 9. And one of those people that I really care for called and she wanted to chat about life and work and the calendar went for a toss. Sigh. But then the idea of a calendar is to be able to do more and enable more people like here. So, if I cant shift my calendar to give as much time to my people, no point. Oh, and she told me that apart from her vitals, everything (including lunch is on her Google Calendar). Guess this is a sign!

Met M&m yesterday. Kids are probably the most amazing creation of the universe. Though I maintain that I hate em, I like these two. Each time I meet them, I am inspired to do more. To be able to give them a better life. No, I can’t do better than what is already being done for them but still.

I had a call with a random person about some work. Think of it as a pitch per se. We were to figure out if we could work together. When I spoke to him, I found that the guy had done enough research on me to know that I am from Hissar and I like Nagraaj and Super Commando Dhruv! I am not sure I have ever written that! The dude was that good with his research. Damn living in public!

The other thing that I did yesterday was to move data from cloud on the new M1. The offline copies would help me cope the Goa Internet. Oh, the piece I wrote about Goa? I am so so grateful that I did. It is making me meet so many new people and making me learn so many things and sparking so many ideas that I am tempted to write more. The only trouble is that for someone like me, writing takes far far longer than what it takes for other people. So that!

I think this is it for the day. When I started writing, I had thought I would write a lot more but I guess not. May be tomorrow.

And no, no #book2 today either. There’s work to be done 🙁

120221 – Morning Pages

Large part of what I wrote today is a rant. You may want to skip reading this. Nothing interesting or insightful here 🙁

7:45.

I am at the Starbucks where I wrote #tnks from. Powai one. I have some really incredible memories of this place. In fact, I love Powai better than all of Mumbai. I wish I would live here. If I do choose to move to Goa, I will probably find a few friends in various parts of Mumbai and make a shacking arrangement with them. This is very unlike me where I have wanted my privacy and my room and my comfort. But then, desperate times call for desperate measures. What to do.

Ok. Morning pages for the day. Like yesterday, I am rushed af. There is like a million things that I need to do. I have never been this rushed in life. I mean I am sure I would have been but I feel the pressure. The sad part is that all this pressure is neither giving me enough to make my ends meet nor creating a brand for me that I can leverage in the future. I often think that I should’ve taken the easy way out of Naukri and by this time I would be making a pot of money and would have had a comfortable house and a fancy car and those two foreign holidays. And no, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a very comfortable position to be in. What if you need to manage random politics? What if you are loaning the best years of life to help others realize their dreams? Won’t it be better from wake-shit-shower-work-work–work-work–work-work–work-work–work-work-eat-quickily-work-work-tindering-aimlessly-hoping-for-matches-sleep cycle that never seems to end? Ok rant ho gaya.

Moving on.

So Mumbai. Day 2. After almost 3.5 months. There are quite a few thoughts in my head that I want to pour on paper here but I don’t know where to start.

Do I like being in Mumbai?
I don’t know yet. But I like that Internet works. Things are easily accessible. Internet works. I mean the Internet at a random Starbucks in Mumbai works better than the co-working space in Goa that has the best internet!

Do I miss Goa?
Hell yes. I do.

Will I choose Mumbai over Goa?
I don’t know yet. I am undecided. Like VK said, I need to chase money. I’d go wherever money takes me. So that.

Chalo, lemme take a random track altogether. I’ve been asking people on Twitter for music that I could listen to. Vijesh (someone that I’d NEVER EVER ignore) recommend that I listen to Osho Jain. The dude’s called Osho! So I decided I would check him. Cut to the Mumbai house. Around the new year, I had participated in a couple of Secret Santas and there were a couple of books waiting for me. I opened those today in the morning. One of the books in there was by the Osho. Too many Osho’s in life happening too fast. I don’t know what to make of it. But what I do know is that Osho Jain’s music sounds like the kinds I would want to listen to! I love it! Here’s some…

So that.

What else.

Ok. The house is in a mess. And I don’t even have the time to clean it. Since I have not really lived there, I don’t even have a house-help that I could rely on for all the chores. And I need to find one pronto. I hate hate hate hate mess. I should’ve probably called ahead and got it cleaned but I am yet to unpack all the boxes that my stuff is wrapped in since I moved. I thought I would spend a couple of days cleaning things but I am not sure that I have the time to do so. I am on a clock you know (need to back in Goa by 20th max).

Guess this is it for the day. Too much on my head. To a point that I was tired exasperated last night.

I was so fucked that for a change, I felt the need to have someone around me. Guess old age is catching up. Need to become more stable, more stoic, more detached, more atamnirbhar.

Come on, Mr. Garg!

No, no #book2 today either. I am slacking like a bitch. Sorry, Krishna.

110221 – Morning Pages

A quick post on talking about the fact that I am back in Mumbai! Yay! Even though I would go back in about 10 days.

8:11. I have 19 minutes to do this.

Today’s one of those days where I cant even die. AA would laugh at this but it’s true. So, the things am thinking about are…

I am in Mumbai as I write this. At least till the 19th.

I am here after exactly three months (went to Delhi for Diwali on 10th Nov and then Goa on 6th Dec). When I reached home, a rude shock awaited. The house was in a mess. There were inches of dust, dead bodies of cockroaches, moss on the furniture, the stale smell in the almirahs, and whatnot. If you know me, I want things to be perfect af and I am anal about cleanliness. I was fucked in the head. But then I was too tired from the damn train journey and I slept. Fuck I am at that place in life where bodily comforts are more important than mental stimulation. Old age, boys and girls, sucks!

Lemme talk about the train. Yesterday I said that I will see if I could work from train. I am happy to report that the experiment failed gloriously. I couldn’t get a single thing done. The train journey is way too uncomfortable and obtrusive. The guy sitting next to me could not stop peeping into my laptop, my phone, my shirt, and I don’t know what else.

And that means that I have this BIG pile of things that I should’ve done yesteryday. And thus this rush to get over with these morning pages before 8:30.

So, the good thing is that I am writing from a Starbucks. Love that the store is clean, AC is perfect, cheap jazz is playing. And I just got myself a coffee. After a few days. I wish Goa offered such predictability. But guess that’s the charm of living in Goa and that’s what makes life fun. But the point is, at a Starbucks, I come into the rhythm, the zone as fast as, well, a train.

Anyhow, there’s more but there’s no time. This tweet by Anusha summarised my life so perfectly.

Let’s see if I can find more time during the day to write more. Till then, over and out. And its 8:29! Fuck so cool!

PS: This is not really the morning pages that Julia talks about but I had to keep the streak going.

100221 – Morning Pages

Nothing significant to report, except for a rant here and there. Mostly about old age and other people’s coolness 😀

0801. I woke up 10 mins ago. I have a lot to do and then I have a train to catch. I am thinking why am I even taking the train? Why am I going to Mumbai? Apart from one or two people that I may want to meet, I don’t know what else is in store for me there. I mean Mumbai has been home for a while now and there is no way I will quit it completely – I have to do films at some point in time in life and films can not move out of Mumbai for a bit. So that.

Lemme talk about the train. I have thought that while I am on the train, I will get some writing done. The inspiration comes from my experience in the flights. Every time I have taken a flight longer than 2 hours, I have realized that since I don’t have the phone beeping on my face all the time, I think deeper and I do better work. Some of the grandest and maddest thoughts come to me when I am holed in a plane.

So, I am thinking, on this long train, can I actually try and write? And unlike the plane, the train will probably offer me some space to walk around. Assuming that seats are as plush in the train and the AC is as “controlled” and the train doesn’t sway like a pendulum. Writing in turbulence has always been a, well, crazy experience. So, let’s see if I can get some writing done. If I can, this could become a great #lifehack where I take these long-distance trains to get the writing done. I have put my headphones, my Jio phone, my battery back, and every other device on charge. I want all the juice, you know. Let’s see how it goes. Will report tomorrow.

In other things, yesterday, I had a meeting at 11 PM yesterday and by the time it started, I was yawing like mad even though the person I met was among the most interesting ones ever. He must have hated the meeting. But to be honest, I had a blast of a time. It was after a while that I met someone who’s a combination of writing, emerging tech, hustle, global audience and much more. Need to be like him. And yeah, like all the cool people, he’s younger than me! Being old sucks. Really. For both reasons – no energy to do things after a certain hour and far fewer opportunities in front of you. Sigh!

What else. I don’t know what else to write. Oh yes, time. So, work has been picking up (yay!) but yet to be substantial enough to start paying the bills (damn!). The time is thus increasingly at a premium. So yesterday, I promised myself that I will wrap morning pages in 30 minutes or less. Including what I write for book2. Today, I have another idea. How about I play this track everyday and start and stop morning pages with it? This is about 23 mins long and I’ve heard it so many times that I remember every beat, every up and down from here! If nothing else, this will help me get into the groove easy. Let’s see. I played it some 15 minutes after I started writing and let’s see if I can finish this with the track. So today’s would be about 38 minutes. Which is ok I guess. Here is the track for your listening pleasure…

So yeah, that’s about it, I guess. I have 8 minutes on the track. Lemme try to write some for #book2. Here we go…

How could she take the plunge? How could she take the easy way out? Wasn’t she the kind to fight things out? She finally understood what Nidhi would have gone through to do things she did. Your back is against the wall so bad that you are left without a choice. But then Nidhi acted. Rujuta was merely reacting. Just because she’s been so unlucky in love so often, how can she let those rocks below smash her bones to pieces? How could she become a feast for the fishes? How could she let the sea engulf whatever was left of her after the rock and fishes had their way with her?

Ok, the words are not flowing. Publishing with just one para. Apologies 🙁

090221 – Morning Pages

An unedited quickie on how I am doing, what I am thinking and where I am going.

9:59. This is not the first thing. I had thought I would write this from a cafe where I have my aaloo puff from. I knew that it opened at 9. And I was there by 9:01. But that was shut. One of the staff members waiting outside told me that they’d open at 10 today. Why? Just like that. Then I thought I would go to the CCD and write from there. Google says it opens at 9. But no, even by 9:30, even the shutter was down. Lol. And then I started to look for places that I could go to and write from. And I found none. I mean there were a few places that I could sit and eat. But I couldn’t write from there. That’s Goa. Not been designed for working. But then, no complaints. Such are things. Such is life.

So, coming to morning pages. I’ve realized that I take almost 2 hours every day to write this. Which is ok. As long as I have something to say or something to write. But with Podium getting more serious, I need to start getting serious about time. So, hereon, I will wrap these morning pages in 30 minutes. Including the part, I write for book2. I know I wouldn’t be able to get in much but such is life. Need to balance work (lol), reputation (podium), and hobbies (writing and morning pages).

It’s 10:20. I started this at 9:59. So I have another 9 minutes. Let’s see what happens in the next 9. Lol, I hate this self-imposed random pressure.

Ok. Lemme think about what I want to write about. Yeah, the Goa Miles thingy. The other day, some local taxi guys beat up some drivers that are on Goa Miles. For the uninitiated, Goa is probably the only place in India where Uber or Ola is not allowed. Because the local taxi mafia is so strong and influential that it has kept tourists harassed. To find a solution (thank God to whoever it was), they came up with Goa Miles, an app-based taxi service (like Uber and Ola). It works like a dream (but can be unreliable) and makes the drivers a tad more accountable. The local taxi guys refuse to be on the app. People like me that respect respect (not a repetition) and reliability more than money have moved to Goa Miles and in-process denting the business of local taxi guys. To a point that they are now angry. Lemme park this here.

I also met this DOP yesterday that has setup Goa Talkies. He had similar stories to share. Locals wanting “outsiders” to not work hard and in process make the locals more accountable and hardworking.

I have seen the same thing play out in Mumbai as well. Leave alone Mumbai, even in various pincodes, if someone from “‘outside” comes and does some work, everyone comes up in arms. I dont know why people dont see that in the long-term they are fucking things for themselves and their ilk? I mean you will probably be dead by the time repercussions start hitting you but what about your offsprings?

Because of these two, I am actually reconsidering my move to Goa. I cant think anything short term and if in the long-run, I am at the mercy of mafia, I’d rather be elsewhere. I dont have the bone in me to fight things out. I am often taken for a ride (remember that podcast snafu?) but I let it pass. I believe life’s way too long to get attached to things.

I think this detachment is what gives me the power to do a lot more things than what I think I can. And this also takes away the power to get emotionally invested in things and deliver. Sigh. Why arent there any easy answers?

So, the other thing that dawned onto me is that these morning pages are making me an introvert. What this means is that everything that is on my head and I want to talk about, I just dump them here and when I talk to friends, I have nothing to talk about. And since I dont consume popular culture at all, I dont know what to talk to them. Neither am I educated / opinionated etc etc. So I dont know what to talk to people about. And I have realised since I dont have anything to talk to them, they stay away from me. Sigh!

In other news, I am going to Mumbai tomorrow. I hope to be back on the 20th. In the week I am in Mumbai, I hope I get to meet friends. I also plan to dispose off a lot of things. Need to get lighter. Including books. Even if I haven’t read those. Wait. No, not books. I may get them to the library I want to create at Goa (among other things). If I create it! Oh, I am taking a train. I may rationalize it by saying a million things but I wanted to save money. A flight is 3X expensive. And the 10 hours that I will be enclosed in the metal box for, I’ll probably get some things done. Let’s see how the journey goes.

Finally, I have finally moved to the M1 as my primary computer. And thanks to the cloud, am cool with data and all. I have two issues though. A, since this is a shiny new machine, I hate it when I see a speck of dust on it. But then for someone who’s a road warrior like me, dust is part and parcel of life. And B, nothing seems to tether to it! No hotspots, no Bluetooth headphones. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ll see if that’s a universal thing with M1 or it’s just me.

Chalo, with that, its over and out. And it’s 10:45. Lol!

080221 – Morning Pages

Random update from a day where I finally had access to the Internet. Yay!

8:21. Just woke up. I think I have more coffee and egg-fried rice in my system than I have blood or spleen. I mean just yesterday I had 5 black coffees that were darker than my darkest thoughts and tasted worse than a generic dish at a Michelin Star restaurant.

So today I shall start with #freewriting for #book2. Or else by the time I come to it, I would be done with the dance on the keyboard! Here we go…

Coffee. The elixir of life. For her. For him, it was Gin. They were high on things as different as that. And yet they found sobriety in each other’s company. They made an odd couple. Wait. They weren’t a couple yet. They probably would never be one. Both had too much baggage from too many relationships over too many years. They knew that they like each other’s company and despite all odds, they seemed to be wanting to make it work. Both of them did things that were uncharacteristic for them. Rujuta would bite her tongue. Chintan would try and speak up. When Mrs. Gomes saw them like that, she knew either the relationship would end in a magnificent doom or they would flourish and spawn generations that would sing songs of their love!

Their coming together was as unlikely and as unpredictable as their eventual separation would be.

Rujuta had landed up at Caravan Serai by mistake when she heard the music waft to her ears as she was strolling on the beach. If not for that acoustic Hindi set by Jay, she wouldn’t be there. Once she was in, she was charmed by Mrs. Gomes and the ship she ran. She had to know more about her. At first, she had not even spotted Chintan perched onto a corner, lost into his papers. Mrs. Gomes had to tell her about another writer hanging out at her place. She was not in the mood to handle flirtatious comments from a middle-aged man. Especially from those self-proclaimed writers that were mere bloggers than real writers. She did not have a problem with that but the pretentiousness that came along was a put off to her. So she remained polite and feigned interest and just when Mrs. Gomes was to make the introduction, she faked a phone call and eased out of earshot.

Chintan had strayed into Caravan Serai in search of Gin. He found it surprising that no one seems to have perfected a Gin and Coke. I mean how tough could it be to pour 30 ml of Gin in a can full of Diet Coke? It was more robotic and impersonal than flipping a burger at a Mcdonald’s! And yet no one seemed to do it well. Plus most people found the combination weird. Gin was mostly had with Tonic water. The Brit decided that and the rest of the world had followed suit. Not Chintan. He wanted it with Coke. And he hated when people would double-check with him. Udita didn’t even bat an eyelid when he asked for a Gin and Diet Coke. That was the first check. The height of the bar table and the barstool with a high backrest was the next. And the unobtrusive staff was what sealed the deal. After weeks of search, he had found a place where he would pen his magnum opus. It was about time he got his ass moved on it. He had a point to prove and no time to lose.

Phew!

Good to have written something for #book2 after so many days.

And here’s an idea. I don’t know if I have thought about this earlier. How about I call the place I create in Goa Caravan Serai? Fuck that would be incredible! #note2self

Now, coming to morning pages, the journal.

Here we go…

So, I finally have the internet on the phone. Both the phones actually – Vodafone and Jio. I feel so connected and so empowered that I think I can change the world. There is spring in my step, optimism in my tone, and general excitement that I cant express in words! All thanks to this new place that has a mobile phone tower on top of it. Even the number of tweets I sent out yesterday is a testimony. Fuck, I did not know that an Internet connection could be so important.

The other thing is that this place has a balcony and I realized how much I love having one. Last time I had a house that a balcony was three or four years ago. What a balcony it was. It was on the 24th floor and overlooked the Godrej factories. I could point the camera at anything at any time and I’d get a fabulous picture. I’ve love heights all my life. Must strive to get to the top of a skyscraper. No, not so high that I can’t make out the signs of life underneath. But enough to be able to spot things. Like a 30th floor or something. Lol. Here is a picture from that, from my archives!

From a rented house that at Wadhwa’s The Address in Ghatkopar. Took this from some iPhone ;P

Apart from that yesterday was pretty ok. I was mostly holed up at the place am staying – I had internet! But I still had to step out to get things done. I just can’t work from where I live. I need that “motion” to move to a different place to work. And the new place am at, it’s kind of far from any of the coworking spaces in Goa and thus had to rely on good old cafes. And guess who all came to rescue? CCD and McD! These were the two places that were open, empty, had comfortable seating, even an AC. I got some writing done as well.

Oh, writing. The book am editing, it was a struggle to write a tiny para. It took all I had and yet I could not finish it! It’s not writer’s block per se. It’s just that I was at a loss of, well, words. Lol.

As I write this, I played some Harvey Specter playlist. Yeah, there’s a thing like that. Which works fine for most days. But I realized that I like that music that I can sing along to. Especially when I have to work, I need music that I can hum along to. And while I was searching for music on youtube (thanks to the Internet that’s working :D), I realized that I’d love to write some music, make films. No, I am not a director material. May be I am. I don’t know. But I like how these visuals on the screen and the sounds and other things that accompany it make me want to take a plunge. Plus, these images and visuals can be so provocative that you could move mountains! Sigh.

Anyhow. So I recorded a podcast yesterday. This was with a marketer that sells AR and VR solutions to large businesses. While there was nothing new that I did not already know, I loved talking to him. I must get back to it. The effort it takes to research, record, edit, publish and market is insane but I think it’s worth it. See this tweet for example with the lessons I learned from him.

Each time I do a recording, it allows me to meet a lot more people than I already know. Plus that’s proof of work and that allows me to approach more people! Must get back to it full-steam! Oh, btw, today on, I start a “full-time” gig at The Podium. I have decided to focus on and give all of 2021 to The Podium. Akshay has talked me into doing this and I think I can support him for sure. He is clearly the wiser among the two of us. Unless something large and radical comes my way. Let’s see how this goes. And no, Podium is still in investment mode and that means I need to find work to pay for my bills. So, here’s the thing. Help me get work that I can do as a freelancer. Marketing. Content. Writing. Editing. You get the drift.

And the last thing before I sign off for the day is that I finally pushing the Goa guide. It is here. The response so far has been very encouraging. Let’s see where it goes from here on.

Over and out for the day. See you guys on the other side.

070221 – Morning Pages

Random updates from how I spent yesterday and what I plan to do today. Nothing special. Skip if you want to.

8:32. I write this without any internet. Sigh. From the place where I moved in (as a temporary accommodation). So a lot will probably get typed. Let’s see when I publish it.

A funny thing happened yesterday. I was trying to post a photo on insta for my aPicADay thing and I realized that I did not have enough pics from Goa to post! I had to find an old picture and upload that! On one side, that’s a shame. On the other, it’s a great thing that I am so involved in my day-to-day life here that I am not bothered about clicking pictures! You see, each thing in life has two ways to look at 😀

Brings me to the trip to Mumbai. Irrespective of what I choose to do in life (in terms of staying in Mumbai or Goa), I need to get rid of things from the Mumbai house. This means the bookshelf, the writing table, the guitar etc etc needs to go. More on this when I actually get around to selling those. And no, I am still not decided on the Mumbai vs Goa decision. I even chatted with V yesterday a few times and she always had a great perspective to share. Even though I was curt with her when I talked about things, she simply said, chase the money and forget the rest. Fuck it was so simple! She asked me to continue doing whatever you are and depending on where you get the money opportunity, take that. Why couldn’t I think of this? Why did I have to impose this deadline and fuck my head? And no, this is not being passive about things. I will chase the money opportunity aggressively and then see what happens. So that. SG2 also offered a great solution. She said, go live in Mumbai for a month. See how it is and how you like it. And then take a call. Again, a super wise input. Must have thought about it!

Anyhow. Onto the next thing. I have a crib about the M1. Nothing seems to be tethering on it. I can’t connect Bluetooth headphones. It does not pair with phone internet easily. The thing is, today is the day when I thought I would shift to this completely but if I cant tether seamlessly, I will have a tough time. Will find a solution.

Also, I am back to recording a podcast today! No, I decided that Akshay will remain the face and I will be the mere producer and behind the scenes guy. But one thing lead to another and then to one more and thus I am forced to record. So lets see how it goes. If it goes well, I may consider hosting another show. No, I am not excited about it. But then, I am not sad about it either. Like I said, let’s see how it goes.

The other update on the podcast front is that we have THE Roshan Abbas as the judge on the next edition of Spotlight! In case you wish to register, use this form – podm.in/pitch. All thanks to Akshay and the incredible work he’s doing. I am so so so lucky with people, its not funny!

Oh, I did publish my Ultimate Guide to living and working in Goa! Do read it and let me know what you think. Hemant, Pradeep, and others have been helping me by pointing out typos. I need to find more people like them to help me with these projects!

I think that’s about it for a quick morning page. To be honest, not happy about how this is going (I am merely journaling how I’ve spent my day or how I plan to spend it). I do get some revelations once in a while. But not sure if this is what I supposed to write each day. Plus I am lagging on book2 as well. I mean, I am not doing #freewriting for #book2 today either 🙁

Will need to fix it. Sooner than later.

And that’s about it for the day. See you guys tom.

060221- Morning Pages

Nothing special today. Just a rant. And a post that I just did not want to write – blame it on laziness and general ennui.

9:36

No, this is not the first thing I am doing. Not even the second. Am showered, powdered, and at a coffee shop already. I’ve just placed an order for a black coffee and a sandwich. No, I don’t like such a “healthy” breakfast but I felt like ordering. So, gave in. Anyhow. Onto morning pages. I am still doing this before I get any work done or have any of my thoughts interrupt how things are going.

So, last night, I slept at a new place. This one is a serviced apartment and they had a Medimix to bathe with. I saw it and a million memories from the age-old travels to popular touristy and religious places came back. As a kid in a middle-class family, I think we traveled a fair bit. If nothing else, we went to places like Haridwar and Shimla and all that. Most times we stayed in cheap hotels, dharamshalas and other such places. Of course, these were nice, familial places and always had a variation of Medimix or Lux or one of those bathing bars. Even in trains that we used to travel to reach these places had these paper-thin soaps. Fuck that paper soap was a thing. It like a tiny book with soaped pages. You could tear one, wash your hands with it and see it disappear with the lather. Man, what days!

So coming back to the new place, it’s actually not bad and I think I can live for the rest of my life in serviced apartments.

Brings me to the all-important question. Mumbai vs Goa.

I don’t know the answer. I like it here and I don’t want to miss the opportunities I can potentially get in Mumbai. Living in Goa gives me that reset button that I’ve wanted for a long long time. But Goa doesn’t give me the kind of opportunities that can fix the puraane paap. So that. There are more things am thinking about. I even made this big-ass mindmap and yet I don’t have an answer. It sucks to be in limbo. But, it’s cool. Life’s a game. Let’s play.

The other thing that am thinking about is that maybe if I can find a way to support my kutumb[1]Kabeer famously said, “Sai itna dijiye, jaame kutumb samaay, main bhookha naa rahoon, sadhu na bhookha jaaye“ and myself, I will transition to becoming a full-time writer. No, I am yet to prove myself with writing. Plus I am not sure if I have the talent to do so. I don’t even have content or a body of work that helps me establish myself as that. I have famously failed at selling #tnks as a script to.

But then, I can try! I can take a million shots and see which one sticks. No? Let’s see.

What else? What else? Lemme make bullet points of things on the top of my head and make a list…

  1. I am in Mumbai in the next week. I have a couple of IRL meetings. So, if you are in Mumbai and want to meet me, lemme know.
  2. The poster of the next short that I helped come to life is out! I loved to see my name up there on the poster. More than anything else, it sends a message that I am around to support indie filmmakers. Yay!
  3. I drove a friend’s car yesterday in Goa and I hated it. I thought I would never say this, but I did. Maybe its the roads here, maybe its the traffic. Maybe cos I haven’t driven in a while?
  4. I worked from Design Centre yesterday and on the way back I thought things and for some reason, while I was riding, I had this surprising clarity of thought. I could even un-layer a few things that I was thinking on. I can’t seem to get this clarity when I am walking. Or running. I think it’s about using your body in some mundane chore and that helps your mind be active enough to start thinking on this. You know, how people go in those dreamy states? Must go on more such rides.
  5. An old contact resurfaced and offered me a job. I am not sure if I want to work for someone else. But then Kabeer and Kutumb! Sigh!

That’s about it, I guess. No, there’s no #freewriting for #book2 even today. I know I know I am being tardy. I am sorry 🙁

PS: Happy Birthday, Arti. I couldnt do half the things that I have managed in the last few months without you around.

Footnotes

Footnotes
↑1 Kabeer famously said, “Sai itna dijiye, jaame kutumb samaay, main bhookha naa rahoon, sadhu na bhookha jaaye“