Tag: Networking

The Party of 9

Imagine a roundtable of really smart, interesting and talented people. Each from a different line of work. And now imagine you on that table!

UPDATE (07 April 2023): I was unable to garner interest for this version. I shall try again in May 2023. Thank You!

Here’s an invite to be on an incredible roundtable of interesting people!

So, the other day some friends and a few of us from C4E met (see this tweet).

There were 9 people at the table and on it, we had a filmmaker, a standup performer, a literary editor and a few marketers. And people there ages between 19 and 45. And the conversations were rich, deep and meaningful. We talked about great pieces of work, creating things, creative blocks and other such things. We gave each other feedback about various things that we were stumbling with. And each conversation was passionate, polite, respectful and full of laughter. 

At that table, I realised that I need to be on more such tables where each person is carefully handpicked and comes over to listen and to share and to meet others and all that.

This table, to me, is similar to those Salons of the yesteryears where interesting people gathered in the company of other interesting people and helped each other grow their network and knowledge. You know, helped each other stand on each other’s shoulder and see farther. 

This is also similar to the concept of Mastermind Group by Napolean Hill where a group of people draw from the knowledge and experience of others. 

I can find similarities with social clubs, networking groups, alumni groups, religious affiliations and more. The point remains that you’d do better in the company of other people. In fact, like they say, if you are the most intelligent person in the room, you need to find a new room. This is your opportunity to be in a room where you have more interesting and intelligent people than you. 

So, I hereby propose that I will host a brunch for 9 people on Sunday the 9th of April in Mumbai (somewhere in BKC / Bandra). Each of these 9 (8 apart from me) would be handpicked. And then if this goes well, I will do this every month.

And this is your invitation to join the party! 

What happens there?

You and 8 other handpicked people gather around and spend 2-3 hours.

For the 2-3 hours you spend with each other, expect to hear stories from others about their lives, the moments that shaped them into who they are, the challenges that perplex them, and the questions they need answers to. And the same for you! 

Think of this as a curated networking opportunity.
You could be 18.
Or you could be 81.
You are welcome!

Oh, and 9 becuase I think the best conversations happen in small groups (of about 5 to be honest) and I want to see two groups getting created.

What is this not?

Here’s a list…

  • This is not a dating service.
  • This is not an activist club.
  • This is not a place to host politically charged conversations. Apart from politics and religion, any conversation is a fair game.
  • This is not a place to solicit business or investments. If something comes out of your meeting with people and you enjoy chatting with one or more, you, at your risk may engage with them even after lunch is over. 
  • This is not a coaching class. Just like Fight Club, if you are at the party, you better contribute.

Why am I doing this?

I may be 40 but I need to learn more, do more, grow more. This is my attempt at creating luck. I want to be around interesting people!

How would I select people? 

To be honest, for the first one, I think I’d have to drag people. If by any stroke of luck, I can get more than 6 requests to join, I will pick the ones that I find the most interesting!

I will also try to pick people from different disciplines so that we have a wide range of people to connect with.

If you’d like to be here, please fill in this form. 

Money?

Whatever the bill of the place is, we will split it 9 ways.

I will pay for 3 guests – myself, a guest of honour and a young person sponsored by C4E. Each attendee pays 1/9th. I am assuming it would be about Rs. 3000 per head 

No, I am not making any money from this.

Any more questions? 

I am on @saurabh on Twitter. Or email me at sg@c4e.in.

Oh, as I end this, I am reminded of this quote by Jack Kerouac. He says,

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”

Jack Kerouac

This is my attempt to surround myself with the mad ones. If you are one, or if you know one, do let share this with them!

See you on the 9th April 2023 dont know when 🙁
Over and out!

Loose Connections – The Holy Grail to Networking

If you want to network better, you need to become better at creating better (and more) loose connections!

This is a rehash of an old SoG Letter that I wrote way back in Jan 2019. Original here.

So, what is ‘Loose Connections‘? 

There are two kinds of connections that you make when you network professionally. 

A, Strong bonds. 
These are people that you implicitly trust. These are the people that will have your back in case you are stuck. These will stay with you through thick and thin. These typically are people who you grew up with, the ones that say next to you in college, the ones that you hang out with on a daily basis. And so on and so forth.

B, Loose connections. 
These are people who are at a 2nd or 3rd-degree of separation from you. These are the people that you wave at, at the water cooler in your office. These are the ones that you know live in your building but aren’t really friends with. These are the ones that you respect but for some reason, you’ve kept a distance. 

So why do I talk about loose connections? 

I really, sincerely, honestly, dil se believe that these loose connections are more powerful than your strongest bonds when it comes to pushing professional / work agendas. 

At least in my life, I have seen these loose connections giving me more work, leading me to more opportunities and opening more doors for me than the best of my friends with their best intentions could.

From things like my first book to my blogs to job opportunities to freelance gigs, I can track them back to a combination of strong bonds and loose connections working together. 

What about you? Which “kind” of connections has helped you in the past?

And as I go along, I am actively working on creating a super large pool of these loose connections. You know, like they, I know a guy that knows a guy? That! 

And how do you forge these loose connections?

Simple. Go out and seek such opportunities. 

For example, a few days ago, I went out with a few folks that I connected with on Twitter. In that group of people that hung out together, we had three travel enthusiasts, one legal expert, one stand-up comic, a videographer, a digital nomad, and one right-hand person for one of the leading fashion designers in the country. It was an eclectic bunch and the conversations had the best that I’ve ever had in life! 

And how do you create opportunities?

Here are three steps that I have used in the past. 

1. Identify the thing that you want to work on. Identify the top 1% of people in that trade. And identify the kind of work you want to do.  

For example, I am working on this film these days. And for that, I need to know EVERYONE that is in the trade that is in the top 1%. And because I want to be on the business side of films, rather than looking at people like Amitabh Bachchan, I am keen on talking to people like, say, Manish Mundra. Or Sandip Bhargava. 

2. Look at the kind of people that these people talk to. Get into a conversation with those people.

These Manishs and Sandips of the world would be busy and may have very limited time to give. There is absolutely zero chance that these people would talk to me. But the people that work for, work with, work under these people would be a little more approachable. And thus I can get into a conversation with these guys a tad more easily. 

3. Add value. 

This is the most important part. Rather than mere chit-chatting with them and getting into a social conversation, can you add value? Look for things that they are stuck with. Open those doors. You know, be that loose connection that could help them untangle things that they are grappling with. And don’t do this with the intention of getting something in return. Add genuine value to people. Be of real help. Open doors. And then sit back and let the magic happen.

That’s it!

Do let me know what you think.
Oh, and read Go Giver. Really. 

And while you are at it, do read how you can kickstart your freelancing career in 2023.

100621 – Morning Pages

Quick post on a lazy day about things at the top of my head. Lot of transactional stuff. You may skip reading this.

8:58. Woke up a few minutes ago. Slept at I think 1 or so but I did have an Americano at around 8 last night. Guess that’s why I had a fitful night. So on with today’s post. Like yesterday, I will try to not context switch. The music is set. I made a list of what I want to write about. I don’t have a lot of time – I know I am late today and I need to start the day and all that but I don’t have any pressing engagements today so I can take it easy. I may even go to a Starbucks. I did not enjoy, to be honest, that I worked from the home house last night.

Here we go. Will use bullets…

A. So, I restarted on an old project yesterday where I am helping a senior from the IT industry with his biography. It is very very interesting and exciting and I really enjoy the grind when I work on it. In fact, in life, if I can get more projects like that, I would be really happy. Of course, this means that the next few days weeks would be crazy but that’s ok. It’s the kind of craziness that I like 🙂

B. Saw this video yesterday where someone has summarised James Clear’s Atomic Habits. One of the things that stayed with me is Warren Buffett’s advice on the 5/25 rule. In one line, it says that you must make a list of 25 of your long-term goals and focus on the top 5 and put the other 20 in the do NOT do / focus list. I think I must make such a list soon! I also have a fairly limited number of years left and I am craving for some success and all that. Must think about this over the next few days. So that.

C. I plan to get back to life and the world from today on. I am of course out there and working and all that but I have kept a low profile. As low as someone like me possibly can. I mean I am off Twitter, Insta, and all that. I know that I need to be out there and working and all that and it’s important for both personal and professional growth. Most of my opportunities have come to me just because I was on these platforms constantly. And I know that the doors I open today get me opportunities after literally decades!

D. I am also recording a podcast after a few weeks today. Let’s see how it goes. I can’t say I am fully prepared but I enjoy talking to people and podcasts are an important step towards that.

E. LHV is finding it tough. More on this some other day.

F. Thanks to the rain and all that yesterday, the second meal of the day did not arrive at all. I could’ve not had food after that but all the coffee I had made me jittery and I had to order something to get over. Ordered myself a Peanut Butter Mousse. Dying with guilt. There’s no way I’ll lose weight or climb Mt. Everest. I clearly can’t work out. The arm is still shaky after the vaccine last Saturday, so no Yoga. I can’t control what I eat. Grrrr…

Ok, I plan to try and fast today. At least not order anything for as long as I can control. Let’s see how it goes.

G. I am lagging on Write Your First Novel. I plan to take it up today. I am late on Mare’s review. I started the post but I couldn’t find the inspiration, even though I really want to do it. I think I must clearly slot these into weekends or after work hours. As life gets busier, I need to find a way to get more strict with time. I mean I am as strict as they come but I need to go another step now. I must not not do a single thing that is not on my calendar and if I miss something, I miss it. I will not try to fit it in during the day.

So that’s about it for day. Kaafi transactional details but that’s what is on the top of my head.

Wait. While writing this, an epiphany happened. None of these talk about my work as a marketer. And that means a good thing and a bad thing. Good in the sense that work to me is a problem to be solved, a thing to be done, a transaction that I dont care about. Bad in the sense that if I dont write about it, people I work with dont know about it and thus I remain away from opportunities. I mean I know that what I do is not really a long-term thing that I want to do. I’d rather build something that scales and impacts the world but the path to that seems to be missing. I think I am not even sure if I will ever be on that path – I am way too old and the world is way too complex now. Ok, I am getting in the rant zone. Lemme stay away from that.

Here’s the streaks.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 179
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 91
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

210521 – Meditations

A quick post on a few things that are clouding my head. Hoping to get some clarity. None seems to be coming.

6:42. Woke a few minutes ago. Had slept at 10ish if I am not wrong. So 8+ hours. And I groggy. Lol!

Decided yesterday that I will go for a walk after publishing this. I did. Walked for about an hour (about 6K steps, not 10K). And saw this video. Will see something else as I walk today. By the time I was back from the walk, it was 10 and I was literally late for work and meetings. But it was good to get the walk in. I even managed 10 minutes of meditation before the calls were to start. So that’s cool.

The morning pages. Lemme use bullets. Like yesterday. Allows me greater flexibility.

A. So at work, I am struggling. I am lagging behind on things. I think a large reason is all the infinite meetings that I am supposed to be a part of. I have to find a way to reduce those. I had thought I would create a maker-manager schedule and stick to that. But as someone in the middle management, my time is required by the ones I report to, and then by the ones that work with me. There are numerous status checks and updates required and I just can not take away three days from the week for that. May be I can start with one day a week where I would not take any calls and spend that time thinking deeply? Let’s see.

B. Oh, I am still tripping onto the restoration videos on Youtube. What I love about those is that people that restore things, they are on the project for days. It’s like seeing a master-painter at work. It’s like seeing a magnum opus come to life. In front of your eyes! It is more or less one person, showcasing their prowess with disciplines like woodwork, painting, lathe machines, sandblasting, metal, electronics, and more. In fact, there is some perverse pleasure that you get in opening up screws and how things work. I remember, as a child, I loved the idea of opening up all the devices that I could – of course, not a lot of those – I did not have a big set of screwdrivers or drill machines with all those bits. I think any child growing up in safe homes has to have access to these screwdrivers and opportunities to further their curiosity. So that!

C. I have started to get active on Twitter all over again. No, I haven’t seen any uptick in my following list (actually, it’s slipping down by the day). But I am consuming more content that I prefer. Without Twitter, my primary source of information was news and that is, well, news. I wasn’t learning new things, I wasn’t satiating my curiosity, I wasn’t enjoying.

Since I’ve been back on Twitter, I am back in the zone where I look forward to tweets and interacting with people. I love how my reading inbox is full again and actually overflowing. I am back to getting inspired by random acts of strangers on the timeline. Like this tweet…

Two of the most-followed people on Twitter Internet are talking about capturing things that they learn. I am so impressed that I want to do something similar. Krishna used to run a newsletter where he would write things that he learned in the week gone by. It was such a pain it’s not funny. I used to write a letter every day where I would talk about what I learned (SoG Letters). Used to take me over an hour and despite sending those out for more than a year, I was unable to get traction. And like any such project, I stopped sending those. Thing is, I need external validation for everything I do.

Like these two people are talking, the daily lessons list probably becomes unsustainable. However, in my case, I am sure I learn more things each day than I can log. I may not be able to write a letter but I can definitely put a tweet as I end my day. I am supposed to start from today. Let’s see how it goes.

Oh, this also feeds my lust of owning an audience. You know, like a celebrity does. Now, I dont have anything that a celeb may have – looks, charm, talent etc. So, its literally impossible. But I want to try.

Why would I want an audience, you may ask. The thing is, I don’t want fame per se. I don’t want people asking for autographs. But what I do want is access to people that I would not have otherwise. I have seen, learned, observed that if you have an audience, doors open easily for you. And that’s what I am after. For people like me that don’t have some innate talents, it’s the relationships that open the doors. Doors to a better life, better opportunities, and in general, better things.

Let’s see how I chase this betterness over the next few days.

That’s about it. Over and out for the day. See you guys tomorrow. Here’s the streak.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 159
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 2
  • #noCoke – 71
  • 10 mins of meditation – 2
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

140121 – Morning Pages

I talk about an important lesson I learnt – the difference between being a blogger and a writer. And the changes I’ll make in how I operate.

7 AM

Morning!

So, Rajesh Sir’s house is bang on Baga beach. And that’s a good great thing. And a bad. And that means that there is more hustle-bustle here than what an average road in Goa has. This means that I am not bored and there’s something to look at all the time.

And this also means that there are people at all times in all states of mind – sober, inebriated, happy-high, free, and so on and so forth. And that doesn’t auger well for someone that seeks peace of mind. No, I don’t. But others may. No, I am not complaining at all. Merely stating a truth. The fact that I can live here without worrying about basics is a blessing in itself!

So, yesterday was a mixed bag. Got some work done, got some mind-fuckery happening (even in Goa), spoke to some friends, met new people, passed on an opportunity to meet more people. But I think I am getting to understand how to go about it if I want to be known in multiple circles. A large part of it involves putting yourself out there and pimping yourself subtly. Truth be told, I don’t understand either – pimping self or subtlety. My life has been about muted peacocking. Lol, muted and peacocking in one sentence 😀 Lemme explain.

Muted. I don’t like the limelight. I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to be known by the aam aadmi per se.

Peacocking. Without trying to be a PUA, the kind of clothes I wear and the way I talk and the way I behave, and the energy I have, all these make me stand out. Often as a misfit. Often as someone that people balk at. You don’t want to talk to someone that doesn’t care about how he looks. Someone that you don’t think of much of when you first lay your eyes on them.

That. Needs to change.

Talking of change there’s another thing I need to change in my personality.

This is something I intuitively knew and got reinforced in Goa. It is…

People want tangible things. Finished things. Finite things. They don’t respect a WIP.

For example, if you say you are a blogger, you get respect at, say, 6 on 10. On the other hand, if you say you are a writer and working on a book, the respect goes up to 9. Both are essentially the same but the subtle difference is in being a blogger and a writer. Just that the Blogger is a WIP. Ongoing. A writer is finite. Something that has been shipped.

People respect finished ones more than they respect WIP. We want to see output more than we want a process. The journey may be the reward for a few but most want a destination. The best part? They don’t care about the quality of what you’ve shipped. They just want to flip the pages of the book, see the URL of the film that is on Hotstar (not Youtube – youtube is WIP, an OTT platform is a finite destination). They don’t want to even do the work required to read or see. Just the signal that it’s out there is enough!

I have seen this in action in Goa like no other place. Probably because there are far less ‘finite’ ones than the ones that are ‘WIP’? In fact, this tweet that Krishna shared made this point beautifully well. And gives me further reinforcement.

I think that’s about it.

The lesson for the day is that being a finite is large in itself and will require me to make substantial changes in how I think and operate.

Here are two that I am making immediately.

A, rather than using all those adjectives that I think do an honest job of describing me (Jack of all trades, curious, marketer, podcaster, etc), I will introduce myself as a writer / storyteller. To hell with what people think about this. I am a writer first and then everything else. And that’s that. This is a sg5stars thing for sure.

Since this is new to me and not really my core personality, it will take time to implement. Do course-correct me if you see me doing otherwise.

B, the SoG series I’ve been writing for a few months? I will restart it at some point in time but I will also release the same as an e-book. And I have already initiated work on that. In case you want a copy, drop your email address on this form.

So that.

I also caught up with friends from the Long-Form-Writing Fans (LFW) Group. With the sketchy internet and a million mosquitos trying to sweep me away, the call was short and there was hardly any rasa but it was phenomenal to speak with them after this long. All of us shared our writing goals, issues that we’re facing (with writing and otherwise) and even spoke about our goals for this year. I wish we could meet more often. I wish we had more things to talk about. I think apart from Prak this set of people is going to be super-helpful as I go about book2.

Oh, I also met someone really interesting after ages on Lunchclub. Not to say other people that I meet are not worthy of a mention. This person was all of 27 and had so much clarity about life that I am left in awe. Apart from Shikha, I don’t think I’ve met someone with so much clarity ever. So that.

I think this is about for the day. The morning pages are now like a public journal but that’s ok. I think I like the idea of writing something to start the day. After all, remember what I said? I am a writer 🙂

Oh, here’s the #freewriting piece for #book2 for today. A writer has to write. Right?

Here we go…

Fire is probably the most misunderstood among all the things that nature made for us. Most people revere it. They don’t revere it really, they are merely scared of it. It is impossible to stop, is all-engulfing and all-consuming. It’s hungry. And it does not relent. The older Paul once told Mrs. Gomes that each fire is as distinct as people are. Each fire has a character. Each fire has a voice. The fires speak. Fire growls. And whispers. Fire can creep up on you silently. And fire can leap on you when you’re least expecting it. Like a person, a fire has its own life. From a spark to a tinder to a flare to a blaze to an inferno and to the biggest of them all, Sun. Sun is probably the only share that the fire takes that we truly respect.

Ok, that’s about it. Love this short para that I’ve written. Among the best, I’ve ever written. Don’t want to spoil it by adding more 😀 What do you think?

271220 – Morning Pages

I talk about, well, morning pages. And I talk about music, films, people, ideas and more. In a nutshell, just another day 🙂

8:51 AM

Another day when I woke up late.

That’s cool. I am finally in the Goa state of mind, you know, not worried about work or money. For a change. Guess the hippi-isation of me is complete.

So morning pages for the day. Since I started asking people about this, am getting great feedback. Note2Self. Stop using “great” a lot. The word has been sort of patented by someone greater that is hoping to make his country great again. I love how you create such slogans. I wish I could!

On the morning pages, BG told me that these are not meant to rant and then seek feedback. I agree with her and while I may rant, the intention is not at all to seek feedback. Ranting and being critical is my nature. I like being ultra harsh on myself and others around me. I have had people drift away from me cos of this. And you know what, it has worked well for me so far. So I am ok. Maybe once I stop being harsh, I will know if the harshness was actually working!

So despite BG’s input, I will continue with the morning pages in the same manner that I have been going in. Though I would take Krishna’s input on making these more about ideas and less about reflection and future-gazing.

Lemme start with a few ideas.

Remember that caretaker-hustler that I talked about a few day ago that is trying to sell me a disputed property? He’s back. This time he has a 4 bedroom place that he wants to sell for a crore and a half. I am not sure how he’s getting these fancy notions about me. Poor thing doesn’t know that am not known to have a penchant for real-estate deals.

Yesterday was a particularly useful day for ideas. Spoke to two Nikhils and talked about two different ideas. One related to events. Other related to content. The two things that I think I know well. Not sure which one of these would work but I realized that I need to be able to sit across the table to crack such conversations. I am not being able to do these virtual meetings and conversations well. Guess I am too old. Wait. Why do I want to abuse the older generation? Most seem to have taken it well. It’s me who’s an anomaly.

The thinking that I did on book2 in the first few days of moving here? That seems to have taken a back seat. That’s the thing about creative projects. If you stop working on those, work stops! So need to get going on that.

Oh, while I am writing, I am tripping on music from Dangal. Here.

Back to morning pages.

So ideas.

While talking to NA yesterday, I realized that I am more of an idea man than anything else. The trouble is that there are way too many idea-men around me. And everyone has learned that adage that ideas are a dime-a-dozen and execution is what matters. So, my value is diminished per se. That probably needs changing. Either, the ideas get so superlative that you can’t ignore. Or you find a partner that is as cool with execution. Like a Shikha. Or Prakruti. Or Akshay.

Wait. Rather than talking about ideas, lemme talk of an idea.

So, today I am supposed to go watch a filmscreening at the Museum of Goa. It is followed by a talk with the writer and the actors. There are some big names here. What if I put the film festival in motion at this venue? The guy clearly has a screening space for films. I have had this idea to do a screening festival for at least 2 years, if not forever. So, why not?

Here’s another idea

Get a house in Goa and convert that into a BnB. That challenges obviously is to manage guests in the times of COVID. But from what I am seeing, there are people that have moved here lock, stock and barrel. And there are people that are moving in for a few weeks, few months to work from here. If nothing else, it is solid passive income. Need someone to throw in the money though.

That’s the thing. Money gets money. Even WEB had access to money when he started his partnerships.

In absence of that, like Naval says, you need a network to create opportunities. And that will probably be the trip for me in 2021. I have stayed away from creating networks and time and again I have seen people reach places they don’t deserve just because they can network their way in. No, I am not sore at those people. I am surprised that I missed this simple fact. If there is one lesson that I can pass on to the next generation, I would say they ought to go to the fanciest schools, colleges, live in places that are above their means, get memberships at clubs, play golf and so on and so forth. These are the places where you get to meet interesting people. If there was a social network to get all these people online, I’d love to join that. ASmallWorld did that well in early 2000s. I don’t know where they are. Maybe create a platform for such people in Goa to interact with each other? What could this platform be built on top of? A Who’s Who guide in Goa? A magazine? Do people still read magazines? A physical club? Like Soho House? Again, do people frequent clubs anymore? And will people travel in Goa? Will have to think more. What do you think?

Ok, the last bit for the day.

Living in Public.

Everyone knows about building in public. A movement where start-up founders are creating businesses in public. They share what they are upto. They share the lessons. They talk about failures. They do small experiments to see what sticks. They pivot fast. Each pivot is public (far cry from the secrecy that typical startups are known for)

I think this living in public is going to be the future of life. It would make you more accountable, more accessible, more human, more authentic, more connected, more consistent. It would reveal your true nature. You know, like you are naked. If everything you did, even in the privacy of your bedroom were to be published on the front page of a newspaper, how would you change?

In one of the unpublished pieces I wrote for one of my books, I talk of a guy that dies in his bathtub. The guy outwardly is an Alpha, a macho. But he has these ducks floating in his bathtub. Imagine when the world finds that, how would it change your reputaiton? That!

So yeah. I want to talk more and more about this living in public. May be write a manifesto or something that encourages others to do so.

It beings immense peace when you know that you dont have to keep pretences!

With this, its over and out for the day.

See you guys on the other side.

953 AM

PS: Every time I publish these morning pages, I send these to a few friends on WhatsApp. In case you want to be added to the broadcast list, lemme know.

Rendezvous with Random Strangers

I talk about why I like the idea of meeting and networking with random strangers. And the tangible impact these meetings have had on me. Read on!

23:01.Today, I did not have anything to write. The head’s been blank for some reason, even though I have a lot on my mind. I think I am falling sick. It may be the change in the weather or the lack of sleep induced by all the coffee I’ve been having. I dont know what it is. May be Delhi does not suit me?

I dont know. Irrespective. I had to write. And since I did not have any ideas per se to write about, I asked AaSi and ArAg (I use initials for people and I know a million people, so am now using the first two characters to be able to make sense) about what I could write about. I got a bevy of suggestions and I like all of those. I have safely cataloged those for the next rainy day when the ideas dry up. For the time being, I am going to talk about “the experience of talking with random strangers“.

So, it’s not even funny how many strangers do I talk to. To a point that I can’t recall names or identities or the context in which I spoke to them. And yet, rather than “consolidating” the relationships with people I know, I seek out more connections. I dont know to what end. But I do. And in today’s post, I will talk about why I do that.

So, I dont know when this happened, but among other things, there are three “ideas” that have shaped me like nothing else has. Let me talk about those and try to answer this question about why do I want to meet with random people all the time.

Here we go.

A. Luck = Opportunity + Preparation.

This essentially translates into creating as many opportunities for yourself as you can and being ready when the opportunities present themselves.

And this creating opportunities means knocking on doors that you know would not open. This also means talking to people that you know dont want to talk to you. Heck, this also means shooting out of your league.

As a result, you are often left with disappointment – who wants failures after failure? If you are always aiming too high, you would miss the shots! But you know what makes it worth all the effort?

That one connection. That one door that opens just a wee bit to let you whiff the opportunity peeking. Creating that one opportunity for someone you care for.

I mean all my life, each thing that I am proud of, even though they are insignificant – my book, the content websites that I support (TRS, PPP, ImmerseGo, GP, Podium, and more), this blog, all the people that I work with – all these may have been lucky breaks but they wouldn’t happen if I weren’t taking shots at opportunities.

In some cases, I was prepared and they worked out and vice versa. Heck, some worked out when I was not prepared at all. I faked my way through those. And some did not happen when I knew those opportunities were tailor-made for me! But in toto, my life is far far better than what it could’ve been if I did not take all those shots.

And, so, why do I love meeting random strangers? Because each person I meet is an opportunity. To do something new. To add a dimension to what I know. To add a perspective to my knowledge. And no, I am not objectifying people here.

B. The Cocoon.

Each of us is born in a certain lifestyle. If you are reading this, you are already privileged – you know English, you have Internet and you are safe in your respective cocoons. What else do you want?

This cocoon is a good thing and a bad thing. Because you are in your cocoon, while you are safe and hopefully comfortable, you hardly see the world on the outside. You can if you want to. But most don’t want. If you are trapped in a high-rise, you do not understand what is it to live in a slum. If you make 10,000 bucks a month kinda salary, you dont know what is it to have a million dollars at your disposal. You know, why bother?

It is similar to the prehistoric cavemen. If they were content with being in their caves and continued to be afraid of all the lighting rumbling outside, we would not know life as it is. They stepped out of the cocoon. And experienced more things. And did more.

And, so, why do I love meeting random strangers? Because each person I meet gives me two things. One, a warp zone that teleports me to a different life altogether and allows me a peek into the life beyond my cocoon. And two, if that person’s life is richer than mine (not just in terms of money but in terms of access, reach, opportunities et al), I am inspired to do more with mine. To be able to expand my cocoon till it engulfs theirs. And if their lives is poorer than mine, I am inspired all the more to not fall to where they are. And most importantly, try and elevate them to at least a level similar to mine!

So far I have been unable to expand my cocoon a lot but I do know of the lives that exist beyond mine (both on the higher side and on the lower) and that makes me more human, for whatever it’s worth. And to what end this knowledge serves? I dont know. What do you think?

C. Thick and limited. Loose and infinite.

The third thing that has left an indelible impression on me is these two distinct styles of living life.

In one, you can create really thick, strong, tight connections with a handful of people. You know, the kinds that you would die for? Often the ones you grew up with. And the other is where you have no strong connections per se but a really large number of loose connections. You are the guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that could get things done.

When I started to create my world view, I was always enamoured by the idea of ‘thick friends’ and how they went on these trips together and clicked pictures in their underwear and were always hanging out as one soul, multiple bodies. And truth be told, all my life, till recently, I’ve chased this. And since I’ve not been the cooler one, I havent got it and I’ve beat myself hard about it. And I, of course, have been jealous of the ones that have such friends.

However, over time, I realised that most friendships and relationships are guided by convenience, by comfort, by rationality, by opportunity. We merely rationalise these relationships. We are rationalising animals after-all. I mean think about it.

Thought experiment. Think about all your best friends. Didnt you all goto the same college? Or grew up in the same locality? Or work together?

Now, what if your life was marginally different? Instead of growing up in building A, you grew up in the building very next door, say building B. Would you be friends with the same people? In fact, out of the top 10 people that you spend time with, if you were in a different cocoon, how many of those friendships could you recreate? Get the drift?

So, thick ones are convenient.

The loose ones, you weren’t thrown at them by a random chance. You went out and sought them. Even if you grew up in a different city, you would have still found a way to make their acquaintance. And added enough value to them to want to add value to yours.

Thus, the loose ones are planned by you. Planted by you.

And unlike with the thick ones, the social obligation to spend time with them to make the relationships thicker is absent. So your conversations can actually push things forward. You know how sports teams, armies, business project teams, film crews, seamen, come together without any thick friendships and chase and achieve greatness? And how each person is often replaceable and the entire army doesn’t just crumble because one person is a group of 5 friends slapped another!

And, so, why do I love meeting random strangers? Well, to expand on these loose connections I have. In hopes that at some point in time in life, these would come in handy (you know, I would get lucky) and I would reach closer to my lifegoal. It’s that simple.

PS: Keyword is most. Keyword is often. I am sure true love exists. I am sure friends lay down lives for each other. But I am yet to have any of these happen to me. I’ve walked alone for a large part and while people have come and gone and helped me at various junctures in life, it’s always been the loose ones and not the seemingly thick ones. Most of my thick connections have been useless to me. The ones that were loose, the ones that I did not expect to be of any help, the ones I never thought I would reach out to, those are the ones that have been the most help.

And no, I dont mean to sound like I am cribbing or ranting. I do have a couple of people that I can goto any lengths for. I am sure there are some people that would feel the same about me. Lemme know if you do :D. I am merely stating an opinion and I am probably offending a lot of friends here.

The keyword in this part is most. Not all.

So yeah. That’s it.

I really love to meet random strangers. If you’d like to meet me, hit me up on twitter – that’s the best way to reach me!

Do let me know what you think of this.

Over and out.

The time right now is 0045 AM. Phew!

This is part of 30 minutes of writing everyday challenge. Others in the series are at 3010, 3110, 0111, 0211, 0311, 0411, 0511, 0611, 0911, 1011, 1211, 1311, 1411, 1511, 1611, 1711, 1811.

The Marketing Connect Meetups

If you are a marketer in India, here’s a networking opportunity that you can NOT miss. Come meet other marketers like you with this curated, 1v1, networking opportunity.

Lemme tell you a secret.

I am a podcast host. Really.

I am.

In fact, I am the host of The Marketing Connect Podcast where in the first season, I have spoken to some of the finest marketers in the country. Via these conversations, I try to learn from their journeys and what it takes to succeed in the day and age that we live in! I am not sure if that has helped the listeners but I have learned a lot. Just that I hate my voice and thus I have not really marketed the marketing podcast. Well, the mystery of life 😀

So, one of the reasons I started this podcast, was to meet interesting people.

My thesis was that if I wrote into seniors from the industry and asked for a meeting, they may or may not respond to me. But if I told them that I have a podcast, they would respond faster / better.

And they did!

I was able to reach marketers from more than 15 companies like Pidilite, Burger King, Eros, Magicbricks, FBB, and more. Each interaction was for good two-three hours and I could ask them questions about their lives, career trajectory, mistakes, learnings, and more. I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to get into such candid chats with people if it were not on a podcast.

Of course, the downside is that each conversation required hours and hours of prep (research on the guest, editing, and general operational things).

Ok. Wait. Lemme digress for a bit…

Hello, Lunchclub.ai

I recently got introduced to this website, lunchclub where they match me with “interesting” professionals and invite us to get into 1v1, quick, short video calls with each other. Think of speed “dating” for professional conversations.

In the last 2 weeks, I have had 3-4 calls and the quality of people I’ve met has been superb. Most of these people I met were like me – explorers, tinkerers, generalists, Jacks (and Janes) of all trades, and others of the ilk. And since these calls are 1 on 1, I could open up about things that I would probably not on a public chat.

So, it works well.

And it is quite similar to podcasting – just that the people I meet are strangers (so there is that excitement and tentativeness when I meet them) and there is no background research required (so, I need to invest less time).

This is when the light bulb went off in my head!

Hello, Marketing Connect Meetups!

So, what if I marry the podcast (that I hate to market) and some tenets from lunchclub (that I love)? And create a matchmaking opportunity for marketers?

To attend these meetups, you have to be a marketer. You could be on the client-side or the agency-side. Or you could be a freelance consultant (like me). But you have to be in the marketing space!

So, Marketing Connect Meetups is an opportunity to meet other marketers!

Sounds cool?

Here’s how this would work. Simple steps.

  1. I invite you to fill this Google Form. And no, I will NOT spam you.
  2. Once you’ve filled in, each weekend, I will curate matches (manually!!) and make introductions. I will send emails to you guys and invite you to meet each other.
  3. You guys then move me to BCC and plan and schedule a meet / call.
  4. What happens post that call? Well, up to you. May be you’d work together, maybe you’d pick brains, maybe you’d teach others something that you. are passionate about! The possibilities are endless.
  5. Give me feedback! Simple!

Simple. Right?

Oh, here are some ground rules.

  1. Safety first! Like any other matchmaking platform, we would get all sorts of people and it would be tough to filter the kind of people we’d get. So, please do stay safe. Although these meetups are planned in a professional setting and we have the Linkedin handles of each attendee, you never know.
  2. Respect trumps everything. Respect is not just about how you speak to people but also about how you conduct yourself, and how you respect the other person. For example, if you have set up a particular time for the call, you better show up on time! I hope you get the drift.

And here are some disclaimers.

  1. I am merely giving you an opportunity to meet others that you would other. Please do know that I can not control how these meetings would turn out for you.
  2. This is an experiment. I don’t know how this would pan out but I would love to have this become a way to meet new people.

In the end, I don’t know if this will work or not. Or if this will appeal to other marketers. But I do think that this “variation” of lunchclub is worth giving a shot. It is yet another itch that I want to scratch.

And here I am, with it. Lemme know what you think.

Oh, and this is part of the 30 posts in 30 days project. This was Day 4. Other posts are at 3010, 3110, 0111.