Tag: shortPosts

Untitled – 28 Jan 2024

Brain dump at a 7 AM on a Saturday morning.

When you open WordPress editor to start writing, they share a prompt – what’s on your mind.

I think I needed this trigger.

So, what’s on my mind?

One-line answer – A lot!

Lemme elaborate. Like most times, I will make a list. Here are the things that I am thinking about and these are making me anxious and unhappy and all that. And yes, these are in an order – these came to my head as I started to think about things! 

What if the run that I am on doesn’t continue in the next year? 
For context, in this year I have scaled C4E (revenue, profits, clients, people) at least 2X compared to last year. While our base is extremely small (we are still a Micro enterprise as per GoI definitions) but to me, it is big. 

So what if this dream run doesn’t continue?

Ok, I am not the one to affect me, normally. I believe this too shall pass. I know we are in a good place. We have a good mix of long-term clients and short-term projects. Team is stable, engaged, passionate and active. And while they are atamnirbhar, as the oldest member of the team, I feel responsible for them. And that’s the challenge. What if I am unable to pay for them?

How do I scale? 
Now that I have seen a good year, the ambitious man in me seems to have started to stir. And this means I need to do more and at scale. And this means I need to work harder. Just that I don’t know which direction to work hard in! I mean we offer communication services to people and there are a million other companies that do this. And they do it cheaper and better. Why would the client choose me? Why would I use my time to build this? Did I learn all I learnt to just offer communication services? No, I don’t mean to be disrespectful. Different people have different battles and a communication agency is not mine. Not at this time at least. Maybe in the future. Never say never. So, coming back to the scale question, I need to work on that. And that is what keeps me up at night.

The chase of cool things. 
If you know me at all, you would know that I love shiny toys more than anything else. I’d rather spend my life in chase and not in actual deep, building of things. My joy is in zero to 1 and not in 1 to 100. This is something that Aditya Sir made me realize long ago! And the world we live in has a million shiny things to be honest and I have access to none of those. So, I am mindfucked about not having access to those cool things. I know that there’s no end to this. And I know better to not make that a pain point!

How do I build distribution? 
I’ve realized that everything in life boils down to one thing and one thing only – distribution. Once you have that, you can touch the sky and reach the moon and all that. Today I have pathetic distribution and reach. I may have 1000 followers on twitter but I don’t have an impactful reach and I need to build that. When I say impactful, I mean I should be able to reach people that matter. And they must know who I am. 

On the internet, people agree that there are a few ways to reach there – 

  • a, create polarizing content in polarizing categories (religion, celebrity, sports), 
  • b, showcase your talent as a person of talent (humor, acting, opinions, wit etc), 
  • c, identify a niche for yourself and create consistently on that, and finally, 
  • d, spend money! 

Now, I don’t have any of these 4. Plus I refuse to be siloed into one category – I am a free bird (lol). And thus the mindfuck. 

How do I ship more things? 
The other question I keep asking is, how do I ship more. I agree that all the things that I have mentioned above need a tiny element of luck but this one, the one on shipping, is pure hard work. No luck. Once I ship, things may not work out or things may bomb or things may be substandard quality. But I know that shipping is single-handedly a thing that I can control! So that.

Maybe once I start shipping things, I will feel good? After all it’s been AGES since I’ve shipped something by myself! 

So that! 

Oh and thanks to this brain dump, now I know that since shipping contributes this much to my happiness, I need to probably amp up my shipping game! 

The Health Hack

A short-post on something that I’ve on my mind (and not too keen on talking to anyone else about).

At am in a good place in life. Things are moving for me and I want to do more. I am surrounded by people I love and people that love me. We are doing ok work and we are respected by the ones around us. A lot of our experiments seem to be paying off. A lot of the ones that we are not hopeful about, I have decided I would shut those.

The point is, I am at a very interesting juncture in life – things look bright and cheery and nice from here on. I need all it takes to be able to do more. And anything that stops me from doing more, I want to stop doing those. Anything that enables me to do more, I want to do more of those.

Among the things that enable me (and / or stop me) is health. And I am fucking up on it. I am eating carbs, snacks, and whatnot. I am not working out and I can feel random pain in my chest, in my knees, my back (that reminds me, I need to go to a spine specialist) and a lot of other places. And no, none of these are battle injuries. These are merely lifestyle ones.

Oh, I’ve been unwell the last 2 days. And I am missing important deadlines – for clients (both old and new). And more importantly, I missed two things – P’s birthday party and M’s “farewell”. I also have a potential team member from C4E in Bom (from Delhi) and I wanted to spend time with her. But clearly am not being able to do that. So that.

Someone said, that maybe its 70+ hours that I talked about in this post that’s catching up on me. May be. But here’s the thing. I am not scared about missing work. I am merely cataloguing it here, acknowledging it and deciding that I would do better. And that, ladies and gents is the short post for the day.

Here’s hoping that I am better from here on 🙂

PS: Whoever is reading this, when am unwell, I don’t want to be talked to about it. I can order my soups, I can order my meds, I can find a doc if I have to. I do NOT ever want anyone to talk to me as if I where dying. In fact, I know that when I die, I don’t want to be around the ones I love. More on this later. Time to go make some mindmaps!

PPS: Oh the irony, as I write this, there’s Outlive on my desk staring at me!

Hello, September!

A short note on how 2023 has been to me.

The 9th month of the year is here.

The year started like yesterday! I mean I can’t even recall where did all this time go. All I have is this blurry vision of things and experiences and all that. Lemme see what I remember without any aids. And I will write about these in the order they come to me when I think about the year gone by.

  1. We cracked a few clients for C4E. And we are growing. In case you are looking for a great place to work, consider us. See this form. Now to do more things with C4E and move in more zones.
  2. Poo went to get herself a better life. I miss her but I am happy that she’s doing what she’s been trying to do for a long long time.
  3. I was in BKK for a trip that was supposed to be 2 weeks long but I had to cut it short to 3 days. I have another 2-week trip coming up. I am hoping to not cancel that.
  4. I got a new rental house in Mumbai. While I was transitioning between these houses, I lived in shitty hotels. I continue to not like the idea of living with friends or relatives.
  5. I decided to take C4E in a high-performing, high-gear mode and I failed at it. I did not push my people more. I could’ve. I tried. But the moment I made some changes, I could see the cracks. I pulled back. But we need to become stronger.
  6. I was in Delhi for a few days and I realised that my parents are getting old and they are fading fast. This is as polite and respectful as I can be about their age. So that. And since I have been thinking about this post from Tim Urban anyway, this visit was a stark reminder of the frailty and impermanence of life. The worst part is that you fade away. I think that’s a bad way to go – on one side, you can say your goodbyes and get closures and all that. On the other, you see former strong people as weak and frail. I dont know what’s more damning. Anyhow.

So that!

These are the things I recall. Lemme check my notes and see what else happened in this year that is worth capturing.

So, I checked my notes and I realised that I had remembered the key events. I would have wanted to change the order of how I remembered but that’s okay.

So this is how the year has been. Fairly ordinary. No large impacts. But then, it’s ok. As long as I’ve been able to manage to stay sane and engaged.

That’s it for the day. I am off to my annual break in less than two weeks. While I am there, I will try to eat better, write and think about life. Let’s see what the rest of the month holds for me.

Over and out.

The busyness-idleness conundrum

A short rant on (the lack of) work. And an attempt to fill my Saturday evening with words.

This will be a short post.

It’s 9:58 PM on Saturday evening. And I am at a Starbucks (not at a party or whatever). And I am bored. I mean I dont know what to do. In an ideal scenario, I would have been working but I dont know what to work on. Oh, work here means things I would do to earn a living. Whatever I had to do (the deliverables that I had to do for clients that pay us) is done.

Of course, I have work. But most of it is for the future and for building C4E as an org. Things that I want to do to impact tomorrow. For example, the party of 9. I can create content for that and invite people to be a part. I could even action the SoG Grant. I can think about how to bring back LFW in the 4th cohort. All these things are work for me. And I can do those. And there is more. My Asana to-do list is 100 pages long. But these are not really work per se. I dont know what to call this.

Work is what helps me earn my dal-roti. And lemme come back to it.

So, I dont have work. And I “blame” my people for it. I mean I dont know if it’s blame or a respectful celebration of their hard work and dedication. They take ownership and they deliver. I drop them into deep ends all the time and they more often than not float. And they tell me when I need to intervene and throw them a lifeline. And that’s that. The best part? Most clients are happy about how we work. And the clients dont want to see me. Or talk to me. Even if I want to proactively pick up things and intervene, I wouldn’t know what to do. Each thing that I can think of and could’ve done is being done by someone from the team. Truth be told, the results are not really what I want (I can push more, do more). But I know that I am teaching my people skills that will serve them well in the times to come when I am not around. If I were to intervene, I am sure we can make more revenue. But I have this weird fascination with long-term thinking and at the cost of short-term revenue, I am building a machinery that will continue to crank. And while that’s a rant for a different day, today, at 10:13 PM on a Saturday evening, I am bored! At this point in time, I have not one thing that I need to work on.

Thing is, getting bored is not a bad thing — in boredom lies the genesis of brilliance. But someone like me needs to work. A lot. All the time. To the point that there is nothing that I am doing but work!

I know I know. I can work on personal projects (hello, Book2!). My team has allowed me to get a lot of free time to think. They’ve freed me to explore more opportunities (that is work in itself). They’ve given me the most important gift there is – the gift of time. And I think I am not doing enough to deserve it. And I must work.

But the question is, on what?

281021 – Morning Pages

A short note (yet again) on how I spent yesterday.

7:57. I woke up a few minutes ago. Groggy, tired, slight headache. Not sure why. But, here we go with the morning pages.

So yesterday was great. I met my extended family. A 25-year old nephew is getting married and in attendance were a few cousins and nephews and nieces. It was fun to catch up with them. Apart from my family, there must have been some 100 people in the gathering and no one seemed to be scared of COVID. Lol!

Anyhow. So back to fam. While I was there, almost everyone was curious about what I do for a living. And like I am unable to explain to the world, I was unable to express it to them. I realized that I need to create a brand. So bad so bad that it’s not funny.

The other thing was that I was so awkward in my head that it sucked. In the sense that I was the only one there that did not formal clothes on. Even the photographers, event managers, and others were in formal clothes. I was a misfit and it sucked. And it made me awkward. I think I must avoid all social dos altogether. I hate being the center of attention like that. Lol, for someone that wants to change the world, I balk at attention. Weird.

Anyhow. So that was that.

Apart from that, I am running so busy that I am not doing things that make me who I am. You know, taking notes, (trying to) eat well, think about taking over the world. Etc etc.

I think I need to prioritize. Come what may. Starting with eating better. Let’s do it from today. I had a burger at fries at 2 last night. So, I will not have anything till about 4. That’s 12+ hours of fast. Let’s see how it goes. If I can manage today, I think I can manage tomorrow and thereon. Lord, give me strength.

Guess this is it.

Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|. I did not sleep as well as I would have wanted to.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Last night I was working on a presentation and I just could not focus on it. It was really really terrible. Need to do something about it.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    Cant think of any right now 🙁
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. If I can manage to not eat for 12 hours, I would be happy!
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I have enough will-power to be able to control my urges and not eat.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I met my extended family. Though I dont have a any deep relations with those, it was still great to see them, meet them and hug them.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I were not as awkward at the function I was at, it would have been better. In fact, if I could spend more time while I was there, it would have been even better. Not that I wanted to chill with them. It’s just that I would have seen the things from start to end.
  8. Quote for the day
    You get luckier once you have more to offer. This is as true as it comes. I have seen that as I grow old, I am more enthused by the idea of sharing more and offering more.

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0.
  • #noCoffee – 0.
  • #aPicADay – 20. Yesterday’s here.
  • Daily Journal – 21
  • Money spent – 3619
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 21
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 21

271021 – Morning Pages

A very tiny post for today’s morning pages.

7:35. No time to even write / publish these. But I have to. Even if it’s just 100 words. So here we go. And lemme start with the journal.

Here we go with the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|. I did not sleep as well as I would have wanted to. Though I had a cold enough room, I did not find the sleep.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. When I am tired, when I go out, when I have to step out, I no longer have to think about money.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I have a family function to attend. If I can be there and not be awkward, it would be great.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    Even though muck is thrown at me, I am able to manage things well. And I dont lose the shit in my head.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I met a friend for dinner. Had some alcohol. Not a lot. Some beer. Had alcohol after I dont know how many years. And yet I was able to hold myself well. No, I dont intend to do this everyday. Or often. Just that I had it after a while. And I could hold it. So that was amazing. Oh, and when I was there, it loved the momos they served.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. Again. Work. That’s something that I am slacking on. I need to fix it.
    2. Food. Way too much food. Eating like a hog. I need to fix it!
  8. Quote for the day
    Real Artists Ship. This one is apparantly by Steve Jobs and I would love to make a tattoo of that on my butt! I really really need to learn how to start shipping.

That’s about it. No time to even write more. Will be back tomorrow. Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0.
  • #noCoffee – 0.
  • #aPicADay – 19. Yesterday’s here.
  • Daily Journal – 20
  • Money spent – 7239
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 20
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 20

261021 – Morning Pages

A VERY short post today. Did not have time and thus had to crunch my thoughts and ideas into a short one.

8:33. This is probably going to be the shortest one I’ve ever written. The thing is, I have a lot of work and while I want to prioritize morning pages over everything else, I am unable to. I can rant about it but without any further ado, here is the morning pages. I will lean on SM’s journal to write about this.

Oh before I start, today is AS’ event and I hope and pray and wish that it goes well. More about it on another day.

Here we go with the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|. I slept well. Maybe some 6 hours straight. Not sure what caused it. But can’t complain. But then I have tons of things on my head. But that’s ok. I am ok with this sort of a life.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I can plan my time to deliver things. For example, I dont have time today to even write morning pages and yet I know that I will be able to deliver the urgent deliverable I am working on.
    2. I dont put names here but this one I need to. There’s this guy, Paras. He works with me. I am grateful that he respects me and he is around EACH time I need him. I hope that I am around when he needs me. And I need to have an army of people that is around me. Right now, I think I have no one when it comes to being able to trust em with life. VG comes close. Paras is closest. But I get that they have their own shit happening and thus I may not be their priority. I wish I could have people that made me their priority while I made them mine. You know, not seeking a romantic relationship here. But one where I know someone has my back. Ok, rant. Moving on.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. If I can finish work on time and go home, it would be great. Lol. Everything is work. Mr. Garg needs a life.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    Each person I care for – family, relatives, friends, acquiantences etc – they are happy healthy engaged and thriving.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. Spoke to a cousin of mine. I am not the one to invest too much time in family matters and I spoke to this one probably after ages. But it was great to talk to her. I will probably meet her tomorrow. Let’s see.
    2. I met a friend for dinner / coffee. It was so much fun to catch up with her.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I really wanted to clip my nails. But I could not. It I could’ve, it would have been awesome.
    2. I ate like a hog. And as I write this, have ordered a lot of food already. I wish I could avoid eating. I remember telling a friend that when I am stressed, I get hungry and horny. And I am feeding into both these vices with carbs and porn. It sucks. Need to fix it.
  8. Quote for the day
    Progress > Perfection.

Ok. Now some words are out of the way, I will try and write till 9:14 and hit publish. So, in terms of things that I am thinking about, I updated the Work With Me page. In fact, the quote of the day came from this page.

I am also thinking about a rebranding project that I am working on. So far it seems to be going ok but if I dont action it today or tomorrow, it would go off-track.

I am also thinking about where I want to be post-Diwali. I am really thinking about being in Nepal. Not Kathmandu. Some remote place in the hills. I liked it there. Just that Internet would be a problem. I am thinking of Goa as well but the thing with Goa is that it is no longer cheap. And second, I have explored it already. Also, this time I want to be on a mountain. I need to get into fitness regime for the trek that I would undertake #in2022. Any ideas? clues? recommendations?

Ok. It’s 9:14. Publishing.

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0.
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had a LOT!
  • #aPicADay – 18. Yesterday’s here.
  • Daily Journal – 19
  • Money spent – 7704
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 19
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 19

241021 – Morning Pages

Quick, short update about things at the top of my head.

10:19. Woke up a few minutes ago. Ya, I know it’s late. But then I slept late. And I haven’t been sleeping well for a while now. So there.

Anyhow. I dont have a lot of time today. Need to get going with the day. I am anyway running late. Here is the morning pages.

So, the thing at the top of my mind is the love for airports. I was at one yesterday. It was amazing to see so many genuine and authentic hugs at one place. I realised what human emotions could be. Although I am not sure why I dont see this genuineness at bus-stands, railway stations and other transit places. Any clues why?

The other thing that is worth cataloging on the morning pages is the fact that I am growing old. I mean I have said this a lot of time that I am old and all that. But yesterday I realised that age is catching up faster than what I had imagined. I had to stay up to finish something but I was unable to. I had I don’t know how much coke, coffee, water and all that and yet I could not stay up. Plus I am eating like a mad man. So may be that’s affecting me.

Anyhow. That’s about it. Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|. While I have a lot on my mind, I am surprisingly calm. I need more of this!.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1. Better than yesterday for sure. Need to make this better.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. The fact that I am rushed and yet I have the time to write something on these morning pages.
  4. Things that would make my today great. Just one thing.
    1. I am gonna meet people from Team SG. So looking forward to it.
    2. There is no urgent meetings that I need to be at. So that’s great. I can plan my life and things 🙂
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I will be able to finish all the work that has been open for the last few days.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I met my sis after almost 2 years. She’s here and while I havent spent time with her yet, I am hoping to. And while I do that, I need to find a lot of answers as a family when I do that. So that.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could go home with my sis, it would have been amazing.
    2. The hotel I slept at last night was not the greatest. I need to find a better one for tonight.
  8. Quote for the day
    This one’s from Shawshank Redemption. It goes, “Some birds are just not meant to be caged.” Also see the video in case you havent. And in case you haven’t seen the film, you MUST. 

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0. Had a few. Regular ones. Not Diet. Damn!
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had a LOT!
  • #aPicADay – 15. Yesterday’s here. It’s a shot of a Diet Coke. Partially because I couldnt click anything. Partially because I loved it!
  • Daily Journal – 17
  • Money spent – 3710
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 17
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 17

211021 – Morning Pages

No morning pages per se. Just the journal. Read if you want to.

9:17. Gurgaon. Was at home in the morning. Came over in the morning. Have too much work. Next two days I need to show myself that how cool I can be.

I dont really have morning pages per se. I mean I dont have the time. But I do have the journal format that I will fill in. The good part of the journal is that it’s akin to the morning pages and that allows me to think about how the day was.

Here we go. Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|. I was mindfucked last night about a few things. But then I am ok now. This travel within Delhi is being a bitch. While I enjoy meeting people this travel is a problem.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 2. Did 10 minutes meditation yesterday. Havent got the time to do it today. Let’s see if I can manage 10 minutes during the day.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I am grateful that I have access to enough and more work for the next few days.
    2. I am grateful that I have someone like Krishna that is invested in my success. He took time out to talk to someone else. Just to help me succeed.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I need to tick more than 50% of things from my todo list.
    2. I need to not eat anything for the rest of the day. I will try to have a lot of black coffee and some chewing gum. Let’s see.
  5. A daily affirmation. I will be be able to manage my time and deliver on all the projects that are open.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I met a friend yesterday for coffee and it was amazing to be honest and upfront about life and all that. Even though I am not close with her, she is the best-est friend of another great friend. And thus I could be candid.
    2. I went back home and met my parents after 3-4 days
    3. Spoke to Vanita after a few days. That was amazing!
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could have stayed back in Gurgaon, it would have been better.
    2. If I could stick to OMAD, it would have been amazing. I tried to. But once I went home, I had to eat what my mom had prepared.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Invest in yourself. It will pay you back with interest.”

Guess this is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 2. Avoided it yet again.
  • #noCoffee – 0.
  • #aPicADay – 13. Yesterday’s here.
  • Daily Journal – 14
  • Money spent – 12413.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 14
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 14

201021 – Morning Pages

A short note on how the day was and what’s on the top of my head. Not a lot apart from work.

7:19. Yet another hotel room. Loving this life where I work for a large part of the day. And then I drag the small suitcase to the hotel that I want to. And while I do that, I catch up with a friend. And then I sleep. And then I wake up and get writing these morning pages. I could get used to a life like this. In fact, this entire movement around and not having a stable place to be at is giving me the feels! Yeah, man. The feels!

Ok. In terms of yesterday. Work and all. Thoughts and all. Life and all.

So the second day of the workshop went ok. It wasn’t as good as the first one. But went ok. I can improve on a few things. Let’s see how the next one is. One thing is for sure. I need to talk more about this to people. I mean I think I do a good job and this deserves to reach more people. Need to make it more popular and known. #note2self #sgTodo

The other things that I was supposed to, I did work on a lot but I could not find to close all of those. I’d say I could’ve done more. Let’s see when I get to a day when I have done enough to be able to have a big smile on my face when I am writing these morning pages.

Today I have a lot on my plate. Let’s see what I deliver on it. It’s 7:40 right now and once it’s about 9, I will have to literally dive into work! And I have a few lot of things that are open ever since I’ve come back from the base camp. Including a travelogue that I want to write about the basecamp trek!

In things that I want to capture is the intolerance and the worst and the best that religious conversations bring out. Yesterday, on the alumni group of my business school, the alumni committee wishes everyone on the occasion of Eid. Someone responded and asked why did they skip wishing on other festivals. It was not long before it took a communal angle. And then from there it just went downhill. People that have gone to a premier business school engaged in heated exchanges, name-calling, questioning, and dunno what else. And this is a group of highly educated, reasonably smart people that are probably more aware than an average joe.

I dont know what has happened to the country that I’ve grown in. I dont know what to do about it. Can’t blame others. Can’t find the problem. Can’t fix it. DAMN!

Anyhow. This is about the morning pages. Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :). I feel good. Even though I did not sleep ok, I am at a desk, staring into the sun, appreciating it as it comes up and fills me with life. No photo can do justice to how it is.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I am grateful that I have this sun coming up as I am writing this. I am so so so content in this moment. I have no worries and even though things I am working on need urgent attention, I am not anxious.
    2. I am grateful that I love water so much. I have had 2 litres since I woke up.
    3. I am grateul that I am able to plan a large part of my day.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I would love if I can deliver on open projects. If not all, some.
    2. I would be great if I could actually go back home. Only to meet my parents. And nothing else.
    3. Like yesterday, If I can skip coke, it would be great. In fact, I would love it if I could do OMAD.
  5. A daily affirmation. I look great and I have this brilliant sense of clothing and dressing.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could yet again make things happen for people around me. This time I did not create opportunties per se but helped people close on projects that they needed help with.
    2. I had a tough conversation with someone else about things that needed to be done. I am typically the kinds to avoid tough conversations. But I managed one. I should lean more into such tougher chats more often. #note2self
    3. Got CM to agree to spending sometime everyday on helping me with where I want to be in life. I have tried to have multiple people like that but none seems to be panning out. Let’s see if CM sticks. Wish me luck.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could deliver on more things at work, I would have liked it. I had decided that I would not sleep last night till I finish various projects. But I could not. The day would’ve been better if I could.
    2. If I could have got about 10 minutes of meditation in, it would have been better. I would try to get it in today. Right after shower. Let’s see.
    3. Again, if I could skip coffee, it would have been amazing. To be honest, I would not be able to do it today either. But I can definitely skip Coke. And gun for OMAD.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Discipline not desire, determines destiny.” – Anon. Thanks to Harshit for sending me this. Must say that he sends me a quote everyday and I read those and they are really unlifting. He’s been doing it for 1069 days as we speak. I am amazed as his consistency!

Guess this is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 1. Avoided it. I almost had one. But then skipped.
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had quite a few. Let’s see if I can quit today on.
  • #aPicADay – 12. Yesterday’s here.
  • Daily Journal – 13
  • Money spent – 19501. Again, random expense. From today on, need to get these in order.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 13
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 13