Tag: Fasting

140521 – Meditations

A talk with self on what I ought to be doing over the next few days.

6:10
I woke up with a bit of stomachache. I think it’s all the food from outside that I am eating. So here’s a pledge. I will not eat anything that’s not been cooked for me specifically. And if I am forced to eat something else, I will have fruits or raw veggies than cooked food. And today, I will attempt a 48-hour fast. The ambition is to do a 7-day fast but I know I may not be able to. So, will start with a 2-day one. I’ll also try NOBNOM from today on. I mean I anyway don’t consume a lot of alcohol. And I will refrain from coffee. I often walk to a Starbucks (or a Blue Tokai) and get myself coffee as a reward. I may still do it. Walk around. But rather than the Starbucks as a destination, I will try for a park or a beach or something. And in case I feel the need to reward myself, I will get an iced tea.

Thing is, I don’t like when I am unwell. I like the idea of being active. I like the idea of moving around physically. I remember as a kid, in school, I would run along the corridor even if I had the time to walk. I would hang around from the pillars around the school even if there was not a need. I loved the idea of chasing balls on big grounds. I think in each thing I did, the larger agenda has been a goal that I was gunning for. And that has stayed. I am such a goal, task, external validation, tick-box chasing whore that I can’t just do things that have no measurable, competitive output.

I thnk I need to use this as a thing to inspire me!

Anyhow.

So, I removed Twitter and Instagram from the phone. I was wasting too much time on those tools. While it was good to connect with people and learn and even offer some help, I think it starting affecting how I felt about life and the world in general. So, have removed. I will still access them via a browser – these are the places that I literally connect with people. If not for these strangers luring on these social networks. I would be very very ineffective.

Not sure what else to write. Way too much in my head. So much that I dont know what to write.

Wait. Streaks.

So, on a day-to-day basis, I track some 11 things. For most of those, apart from this post, the number remains 0. I mean I don’t do those things. I was thinking do I remove these. I mean what’s the point of putting all these zeros when I don’t do. But then, a thought popped up in my head. Why not continue. At least I spend a tiny second on each line and that in itself is a reminder that I need to do that thing. No?

Yeah! Makes sense.

So, here’s streaks and some commentary…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 152
  • #aPicADay – 0. I am not sure if I want to start. While it allowed me to look at things from a different lens, since I have been holed into a tiny space, not sure what I’d do with it.
  • 10K steps a day – 0. I have literally stopped walking around. Need to re-start. Along with fast, I think this is what could help me feel better.
  • OMAD – 0. Let’s see if I manage a 2-day fast. I may actually get a tick on this one.
  • #noCoffee – 0. Will start again from today. I mean I did not have one yesterday, come to think of it!
  • #noCoke – 64. Super proud. More than 2 months now!
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. Will start again today. My first work call is at 9. If I manage things faster, I will do this.
  • #book2 – 0. Lol. I don’t think I have this in me. Will probably delete.
  • Killer Boogie – 0. Again, don’t think I am doing this. Will probably delete.
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 0. The deadline for this is 17th May. So, this will be gone in a few days.
  • Surya Namaskar – 0. Again, need to get started. Today may not be a good day but will start soon.

So yeah that. I think I am subconsciously trying to reset life. You know, discard things, relationships, habits, and all that. Oh, that reminds me, I need to discard things that I don’t use or need. Will make an inventory and put them out for sale and donate the proceeds to some gurudwara. I anyway had little attachment to material things, when I lost data on the phone, whatever emotions I had left with digital data – notes, photos, emails, contacts, things that I had parked to be used in the future, all of it is gone!

Need to live a far lighter and simpler and minimal life. Need to step in that direction. Let’s see where I head. Will keep posting here.

Over and out!

110521 – Meditations

A quick post about things that are on the top of my head. Nothing special here. Read if you want to.

6:07. Been up for a bit. I woke up with the phone. I slept with it. I need to change this habit. There was a time when I would sleep away from the phone. Not anymore. The phone has become a constant companion. One reason is that there is so much to catch up on – not in terms of work but in terms of people – you know if everyone is ok. Does anyone need any help? Even things like if vaccination centers are open so that I could book slots. It’s a painful time to be around. And I live alone. No, I don’t feel the need to have someone around me. So the phone becomes the constant companion. The virtual world becomes the real place where I live and learn and thrive and all that. People I know from Twitter are now closer confidantes compared to the ones I know IRL. The phone, ladies, and gents have had a role to play in that. And thus, I wake up and sleep with it.

Anyhow. Today’s post will be a tiny one. I have a lot to finish before I start with Docedge sessions for the day. And today’s sessions are a lot about how to construct a scene visually. I thus need to get going. Lemme quickly dump what all is on my head.

So I took the COVID vaccine on Saturday. All of Sunday I was ok and I was laughing at it. I was actually admiring my immunity that I was the only one to not have any side effects of the vaccine. Till it all came crashing down on me yesterday. I just couldn’t function. I literally passed out while typing a message. By evening I was ok but it was a scary scary thing. I anyway hate medical shite!

Saw a tweet where a stranger was talking about 5-day water fast. I want to be able to do the same. In fact, once every 2 months. I have managed 50 odd hours a few times but I never touched 4 days, leave alone 5. Apparently, the 3rd day is the toughest. I think I will do this next week. Making a note. Let’s see if I manage. Also, such long fasts apparently put your body in Ketosis and the brain starts to work on overdrive. The things you do to stimulate the brain by coffee and psychotropics and alcohol and other such things can happen merely by staying hungry? In fact, KG told me that apparently, Michelangelo would stay hungry for weeks and then start painting! Well, too many apparentlys there. But the point is, I need some additional help, some unfair advantage to be able to fulfill my potential! If fasting can give me that and it’s only about controlling what you eat, why not?

I started the house hunt. Since I am just starting, I am hoping to get one without brokerage. I looked at some places on the western line. And then some in Thane. So far, I don’t like any. Most of the places listed on these real-estate websites are probably the ones that no one takes! This broker mafia needs to be broken and for some reason, no startup has been able to do that! Wonder why. I mean I know why but as a consumer, it sucks that the apparently simple problem hasn’t been solved. I hate this inconvenience that gets thrown at me each year. Whoever said that its a better financial decision to not buy a house probably did not have to hunt for a rental property.

Guess this is it. I mean there is more on my head.

Like…

  1. I need to apply to NFDC’s Scriptlab and I am very very far from that. The deadline is next Monday. I have like 6 days to get that done. Let’s see if I manage. Taking more shots, outside of my league. You know.
  2. I need to figure out the future of Podium. I feel there’s a lot of potential in what I could do with it. We have some superlative content there.
  3. I need to ship that SoG book. The thing that I am yet to touch! It was supposed to ship in Jan. I think I need someone to help me ship things! Grrr…

Anyhow, over and out. Let me get onto work before I start wailing in self-pity.

Here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 149
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 62
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

160421 – Meditations

Quick update on what I did yesterday. And day 1 of an attempt to write a film script in 15 days.

6:17 AM. Andheri.
Woke up at quarter to 6. Some fitful sleep. I think it’s the AC. Need to fix it.

Lets not be digressed by that. Today’s when I start writing a script or something and focus less on thoughts. Let’s see how it goes. To be honest, I dont have an idea in my head right now. Let’s see what comes out when I start typing. I will be at it for at least an hour. That’s the point of “forced creativity”.

Before that, there are some updates from the day gone by and things on my head…

  1. I went out! Yay! I walked up to the nearest Star Bazaar and brought some dry fruits. Grocery was an excuse – I just wanted to step out. On the way back I spotted more people walking than on other days on the Lokhandwala backroad. So I can walk too. I just need to find a time when it’s not as crowded. May be in the morning? Right after morning pages?
  2. Work has started to become hectic. Which is ok. Just that I need to be on the computer for like 10 hours. The only thing I am worried about is my eyes.
  3. KG told me about how Michelangelo would go hungry for up to 7 days and then pick up the chisel to work his masterpieces. Now that’s incredible. I haven’t been able to find any conclusive evidence on a cursory Google search. I am sure, I will find it if I dug deeper.
  4. Yesterday, I talked about Coconut Milk as a beverage. It’s the second day and I love it. To a point that I have stocked the refrigerator with it!

So that’s about it.

I can write more. But I am trying to shun negativity and live in denial. I am assuming that there’s no COVID out there. At least for the next 15 days. I will of course continue to write my thoughts on #sgEchoChamber. And here

Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 124
  • #aPicADay – 105
  • 10K steps a day –0 🙁
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 37
  • #noCoke – 37
  • 10 mins of meditation – 2
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 0

Now, onto the “original work” that I will write for one hour. It’s 6:43 on the clock. Here we go…

Day 1

What do I write about? Writing itself? A writer struggling to find his spot in the sun? Another trying to prove a point to the world, and to himself; that he’s worth a lot more than what the world gives him credit for?

Or I could write about someone intriguing that I read about. You know, a true story. Of someone’s heroic. Of someone’s extraordinary journey of becoming extraordinary. The world is full of such people. They do simple things in such a unique manner that you are left inspired. Just need to find someone like that and merely narrate what they were up to.

Then there is the question of my ability to look at these people with a lens that makes the story worth telling!

Or it could be about someone’s dreams, hopes, aspirations, ideas, and thoughts. Funnily most of these are so damn simple that you wonder if there’s a story in there on not. I mean at the end of it, each person seeks those basic things that our monkey mind has trained us for – safety, survival, propagation of the genes. For most, safety comes from a house (people call those homes), survival comes from a stable job that pays enough to build their house and propagation from a spouse.

Of course, this simple monkey-mindedness becomes an impossible chasm to leap over when one person’s wants start to collide with another’s. I mean you have a stable job. This stability threatens your colleagues’ survival in the same workplace. He would then try and do things that would jeopardize your stability. You on the other hand would not tolerate this game and you would first secure your place. And once that has happened, you would go back with vengeance. Even if you don’t want to. You are guided far more by your monkey mind than you can imagine.

I can also write about this image that I have held in my brain for I don’t know how long. Lemme narrate it. Let’s see what comes out of it.

So, I was at one of the busiest local train stations in Mumbai. I think it was Kurla. Or it was Dadar. The trains were jampacked. To a point that even the people that were hanging out of the doors were stacked like lego blocks. One on top of another. Interlocked so well that even the biggest canons, the wildest wrecking ball couldn’t make a dent if they tried it at the same time. Packed so tight that even air couldn’t pass through. Whatever gaps you could spot were shuttered by the sweat and in some cases, the blood. The greatest architcet in the world couldn’t build something as grand if she tried for decades. And here we are. In Mumbai. Train after train, bogie after bogie, day after day was so packed by strangers that you are left marveling at the sheer capacity to bear hardship, the sheer will to get things done despite odds, the sheer tolerance of pain, and heat and hunger!

As a newcomer to Mumbai, I would often sit at a busy station to see these men and women and the mass of humanity go through this grind every day. Twice. Every time I sat on one of those benches that were invariably donated by the kin of a rich person that is now long forgotten, I was probably the only person who was still amidst all the cacophony.

So imagine you are in the midst of this scene of life playing like a film. You are marveling at the scene unfolding in front of you. Pretty much on auto-pilot. A train stops right in front of you. Like a well-orchestrated symphony, the wall of people shifts shape. Some bricks come out. Some go in. The wall remains steadfast. The wall gets stronger than ever. People are packed tighter than ever. Anyone even thinking of breaching it would get discouraged by even looking at it.

The train starts to move, the wall starts to take it easy. And unknown to it, a young girl of not more than 14 starts walking towards it. She is unassuming. She is not rushed. She is relaxed. The train picks speed. The girl continues her easy pace towards the train that is now almost a blur.

The last of its bogie is in sight. The girl is now a few feet away from the train. From where I am, I can’t see her face. I don’t even know what she’s upto. But she’s upto something for sure.

As if on cue, she breaks into a sprint and hurls her tiny frame at the wall. And just before she’s about to collide into the sea of people hanging from the doors, she turns around. And her back thuds into a man that’s wearing a distinctly blue shirt. Out of reflex, the man grabs her. The wall comes to life. More hands appear and support the girl. Some bricks shuffle. They make the space that no one could have imagined existed.

While the reengineering was happening, while she was slowly becoming the part of the wall that was almost out of my sight, I saw her. And for a fleeting second, I saw the smile on her face. I saw the determination in her eyes. I saw her punch the air with her fists clenched tight. I saw the unbreakable, the immovable wall of humans make way, shift its shape and bow down to this young girl that I did not even know the name of.

[END]

Notes…

  1. Was tough to start. But once I started typing, it was easy. Takes me a lot of time to get to a point.
  2. There no no story right now. None seems to be emerging. Need to work on it if I am giving myself 15 days.
  3. What I write is very very descriptive. It does not move the story forward. I have only narrated one scene. Took like a million words for it. Screenplays are not that. The story has to move. I need to think differently.
  4. I, of course, need three tracks (A, B, and C). I need clear character arcs. I need conflicts. I need release and resolution. I need to follow the three-act structure. I need the inciting incidence. I need so much more!

Let’s see how it goes over the next 15 days.