Category: Morning Pages

080221 – Morning Pages

Random update from a day where I finally had access to the Internet. Yay!

8:21. Just woke up. I think I have more coffee and egg-fried rice in my system than I have blood or spleen. I mean just yesterday I had 5 black coffees that were darker than my darkest thoughts and tasted worse than a generic dish at a Michelin Star restaurant.

So today I shall start with #freewriting for #book2. Or else by the time I come to it, I would be done with the dance on the keyboard! Here we go…

Coffee. The elixir of life. For her. For him, it was Gin. They were high on things as different as that. And yet they found sobriety in each other’s company. They made an odd couple. Wait. They weren’t a couple yet. They probably would never be one. Both had too much baggage from too many relationships over too many years. They knew that they like each other’s company and despite all odds, they seemed to be wanting to make it work. Both of them did things that were uncharacteristic for them. Rujuta would bite her tongue. Chintan would try and speak up. When Mrs. Gomes saw them like that, she knew either the relationship would end in a magnificent doom or they would flourish and spawn generations that would sing songs of their love!

Their coming together was as unlikely and as unpredictable as their eventual separation would be.

Rujuta had landed up at Caravan Serai by mistake when she heard the music waft to her ears as she was strolling on the beach. If not for that acoustic Hindi set by Jay, she wouldn’t be there. Once she was in, she was charmed by Mrs. Gomes and the ship she ran. She had to know more about her. At first, she had not even spotted Chintan perched onto a corner, lost into his papers. Mrs. Gomes had to tell her about another writer hanging out at her place. She was not in the mood to handle flirtatious comments from a middle-aged man. Especially from those self-proclaimed writers that were mere bloggers than real writers. She did not have a problem with that but the pretentiousness that came along was a put off to her. So she remained polite and feigned interest and just when Mrs. Gomes was to make the introduction, she faked a phone call and eased out of earshot.

Chintan had strayed into Caravan Serai in search of Gin. He found it surprising that no one seems to have perfected a Gin and Coke. I mean how tough could it be to pour 30 ml of Gin in a can full of Diet Coke? It was more robotic and impersonal than flipping a burger at a Mcdonald’s! And yet no one seemed to do it well. Plus most people found the combination weird. Gin was mostly had with Tonic water. The Brit decided that and the rest of the world had followed suit. Not Chintan. He wanted it with Coke. And he hated when people would double-check with him. Udita didn’t even bat an eyelid when he asked for a Gin and Diet Coke. That was the first check. The height of the bar table and the barstool with a high backrest was the next. And the unobtrusive staff was what sealed the deal. After weeks of search, he had found a place where he would pen his magnum opus. It was about time he got his ass moved on it. He had a point to prove and no time to lose.

Phew!

Good to have written something for #book2 after so many days.

And here’s an idea. I don’t know if I have thought about this earlier. How about I call the place I create in Goa Caravan Serai? Fuck that would be incredible! #note2self

Now, coming to morning pages, the journal.

Here we go…

So, I finally have the internet on the phone. Both the phones actually – Vodafone and Jio. I feel so connected and so empowered that I think I can change the world. There is spring in my step, optimism in my tone, and general excitement that I cant express in words! All thanks to this new place that has a mobile phone tower on top of it. Even the number of tweets I sent out yesterday is a testimony. Fuck, I did not know that an Internet connection could be so important.

The other thing is that this place has a balcony and I realized how much I love having one. Last time I had a house that a balcony was three or four years ago. What a balcony it was. It was on the 24th floor and overlooked the Godrej factories. I could point the camera at anything at any time and I’d get a fabulous picture. I’ve love heights all my life. Must strive to get to the top of a skyscraper. No, not so high that I can’t make out the signs of life underneath. But enough to be able to spot things. Like a 30th floor or something. Lol. Here is a picture from that, from my archives!

From a rented house that at Wadhwa’s The Address in Ghatkopar. Took this from some iPhone ;P

Apart from that yesterday was pretty ok. I was mostly holed up at the place am staying – I had internet! But I still had to step out to get things done. I just can’t work from where I live. I need that “motion” to move to a different place to work. And the new place am at, it’s kind of far from any of the coworking spaces in Goa and thus had to rely on good old cafes. And guess who all came to rescue? CCD and McD! These were the two places that were open, empty, had comfortable seating, even an AC. I got some writing done as well.

Oh, writing. The book am editing, it was a struggle to write a tiny para. It took all I had and yet I could not finish it! It’s not writer’s block per se. It’s just that I was at a loss of, well, words. Lol.

As I write this, I played some Harvey Specter playlist. Yeah, there’s a thing like that. Which works fine for most days. But I realized that I like that music that I can sing along to. Especially when I have to work, I need music that I can hum along to. And while I was searching for music on youtube (thanks to the Internet that’s working :D), I realized that I’d love to write some music, make films. No, I am not a director material. May be I am. I don’t know. But I like how these visuals on the screen and the sounds and other things that accompany it make me want to take a plunge. Plus, these images and visuals can be so provocative that you could move mountains! Sigh.

Anyhow. So I recorded a podcast yesterday. This was with a marketer that sells AR and VR solutions to large businesses. While there was nothing new that I did not already know, I loved talking to him. I must get back to it. The effort it takes to research, record, edit, publish and market is insane but I think it’s worth it. See this tweet for example with the lessons I learned from him.

Each time I do a recording, it allows me to meet a lot more people than I already know. Plus that’s proof of work and that allows me to approach more people! Must get back to it full-steam! Oh, btw, today on, I start a “full-time” gig at The Podium. I have decided to focus on and give all of 2021 to The Podium. Akshay has talked me into doing this and I think I can support him for sure. He is clearly the wiser among the two of us. Unless something large and radical comes my way. Let’s see how this goes. And no, Podium is still in investment mode and that means I need to find work to pay for my bills. So, here’s the thing. Help me get work that I can do as a freelancer. Marketing. Content. Writing. Editing. You get the drift.

And the last thing before I sign off for the day is that I finally pushing the Goa guide. It is here. The response so far has been very encouraging. Let’s see where it goes from here on.

Over and out for the day. See you guys on the other side.

070221 – Morning Pages

Random updates from how I spent yesterday and what I plan to do today. Nothing special. Skip if you want to.

8:32. I write this without any internet. Sigh. From the place where I moved in (as a temporary accommodation). So a lot will probably get typed. Let’s see when I publish it.

A funny thing happened yesterday. I was trying to post a photo on insta for my aPicADay thing and I realized that I did not have enough pics from Goa to post! I had to find an old picture and upload that! On one side, that’s a shame. On the other, it’s a great thing that I am so involved in my day-to-day life here that I am not bothered about clicking pictures! You see, each thing in life has two ways to look at 😀

Brings me to the trip to Mumbai. Irrespective of what I choose to do in life (in terms of staying in Mumbai or Goa), I need to get rid of things from the Mumbai house. This means the bookshelf, the writing table, the guitar etc etc needs to go. More on this when I actually get around to selling those. And no, I am still not decided on the Mumbai vs Goa decision. I even chatted with V yesterday a few times and she always had a great perspective to share. Even though I was curt with her when I talked about things, she simply said, chase the money and forget the rest. Fuck it was so simple! She asked me to continue doing whatever you are and depending on where you get the money opportunity, take that. Why couldn’t I think of this? Why did I have to impose this deadline and fuck my head? And no, this is not being passive about things. I will chase the money opportunity aggressively and then see what happens. So that. SG2 also offered a great solution. She said, go live in Mumbai for a month. See how it is and how you like it. And then take a call. Again, a super wise input. Must have thought about it!

Anyhow. Onto the next thing. I have a crib about the M1. Nothing seems to be tethering on it. I can’t connect Bluetooth headphones. It does not pair with phone internet easily. The thing is, today is the day when I thought I would shift to this completely but if I cant tether seamlessly, I will have a tough time. Will find a solution.

Also, I am back to recording a podcast today! No, I decided that Akshay will remain the face and I will be the mere producer and behind the scenes guy. But one thing lead to another and then to one more and thus I am forced to record. So lets see how it goes. If it goes well, I may consider hosting another show. No, I am not excited about it. But then, I am not sad about it either. Like I said, let’s see how it goes.

The other update on the podcast front is that we have THE Roshan Abbas as the judge on the next edition of Spotlight! In case you wish to register, use this form – podm.in/pitch. All thanks to Akshay and the incredible work he’s doing. I am so so so lucky with people, its not funny!

Oh, I did publish my Ultimate Guide to living and working in Goa! Do read it and let me know what you think. Hemant, Pradeep, and others have been helping me by pointing out typos. I need to find more people like them to help me with these projects!

I think that’s about it for a quick morning page. To be honest, not happy about how this is going (I am merely journaling how I’ve spent my day or how I plan to spend it). I do get some revelations once in a while. But not sure if this is what I supposed to write each day. Plus I am lagging on book2 as well. I mean, I am not doing #freewriting for #book2 today either 🙁

Will need to fix it. Sooner than later.

And that’s about it for the day. See you guys tom.

060221- Morning Pages

Nothing special today. Just a rant. And a post that I just did not want to write – blame it on laziness and general ennui.

9:36

No, this is not the first thing I am doing. Not even the second. Am showered, powdered, and at a coffee shop already. I’ve just placed an order for a black coffee and a sandwich. No, I don’t like such a “healthy” breakfast but I felt like ordering. So, gave in. Anyhow. Onto morning pages. I am still doing this before I get any work done or have any of my thoughts interrupt how things are going.

So, last night, I slept at a new place. This one is a serviced apartment and they had a Medimix to bathe with. I saw it and a million memories from the age-old travels to popular touristy and religious places came back. As a kid in a middle-class family, I think we traveled a fair bit. If nothing else, we went to places like Haridwar and Shimla and all that. Most times we stayed in cheap hotels, dharamshalas and other such places. Of course, these were nice, familial places and always had a variation of Medimix or Lux or one of those bathing bars. Even in trains that we used to travel to reach these places had these paper-thin soaps. Fuck that paper soap was a thing. It like a tiny book with soaped pages. You could tear one, wash your hands with it and see it disappear with the lather. Man, what days!

So coming back to the new place, it’s actually not bad and I think I can live for the rest of my life in serviced apartments.

Brings me to the all-important question. Mumbai vs Goa.

I don’t know the answer. I like it here and I don’t want to miss the opportunities I can potentially get in Mumbai. Living in Goa gives me that reset button that I’ve wanted for a long long time. But Goa doesn’t give me the kind of opportunities that can fix the puraane paap. So that. There are more things am thinking about. I even made this big-ass mindmap and yet I don’t have an answer. It sucks to be in limbo. But, it’s cool. Life’s a game. Let’s play.

The other thing that am thinking about is that maybe if I can find a way to support my kutumb[1]Kabeer famously said, “Sai itna dijiye, jaame kutumb samaay, main bhookha naa rahoon, sadhu na bhookha jaaye“ and myself, I will transition to becoming a full-time writer. No, I am yet to prove myself with writing. Plus I am not sure if I have the talent to do so. I don’t even have content or a body of work that helps me establish myself as that. I have famously failed at selling #tnks as a script to.

But then, I can try! I can take a million shots and see which one sticks. No? Let’s see.

What else? What else? Lemme make bullet points of things on the top of my head and make a list…

  1. I am in Mumbai in the next week. I have a couple of IRL meetings. So, if you are in Mumbai and want to meet me, lemme know.
  2. The poster of the next short that I helped come to life is out! I loved to see my name up there on the poster. More than anything else, it sends a message that I am around to support indie filmmakers. Yay!
  3. I drove a friend’s car yesterday in Goa and I hated it. I thought I would never say this, but I did. Maybe its the roads here, maybe its the traffic. Maybe cos I haven’t driven in a while?
  4. I worked from Design Centre yesterday and on the way back I thought things and for some reason, while I was riding, I had this surprising clarity of thought. I could even un-layer a few things that I was thinking on. I can’t seem to get this clarity when I am walking. Or running. I think it’s about using your body in some mundane chore and that helps your mind be active enough to start thinking on this. You know, how people go in those dreamy states? Must go on more such rides.
  5. An old contact resurfaced and offered me a job. I am not sure if I want to work for someone else. But then Kabeer and Kutumb! Sigh!

That’s about it, I guess. No, there’s no #freewriting for #book2 even today. I know I know I am being tardy. I am sorry 🙁

PS: Happy Birthday, Arti. I couldnt do half the things that I have managed in the last few months without you around.

050221 – Morning Pages

In this one, hidden in between a few rants are a couple of lessons that I learnt at a party. Need to take action on those.

7:34 AM. This is not the first thing am doing in the morning. Spent a good part of my time packing my things. This may be the last post from the place that I called home for 2 months (I came here on the 6th and I am leaving on the 5th) and whatever I have been able to write, do, think, evaluate, etc has happened from here. I will forever remain grateful and in debt to Rajesh Sir.

This means that I will have to start spending on accommodation and that’s something I dont want to do. Especially when I dont make as much as I would want to. So, either I let go of the Mumbai house and then take a house here. Or I get back to Mumbai and stay there.

The thing with Mumbai is that there’s this huge network of people that can potentially give work. Most of these people are not really as mobile as I am (they have houses, families, clubs etc) and thus they stay back in Mumbai. Or Delhi for that matter. Or Bangalore.

In Goa, on the other hand, is this network of people that I know can inspire me. They may not have large ideas about changing the world, but they do offer interesting conversations. It’s a real battle to pick one of the two. Let’s see what I pick up. I have been delaying the decision for last so many days 🙁

Anyhow. Morning Pages.

So, I could not manage the 48-hour fast. I broke it at around 4 yesterday. So about 36 hours. I was not really hungry but it started to play on my mind and I ate some crap. Really. I lost the will battle (and not the hunger one). Need to up the ante. Fasting is one of those things that I did to be able to become like Jason Statham. Here. This is from my vision board.

I dont know who took this photo but I love this!

However, yesterday, I saw Chamath and I have a new goal and a new entry in my vision board for the health piece.

So that.

Next. I had promised that I would write the SoG and Guide to Working from Goa. I published the SoG. Here. Guide I shall do today. Bumped into Nihar (that runs Clay CoWork) at Nicky’s and I picked his brains on a few things that I’ve been meaning to anyway ask him. We threw around some interesting ideas and it taught me two lessons…

  • it helps if you can drink a beer, share a cigarette. It allows you to meet interesting people and have conversations that you’d not otherwise have.
  • I need to become a tad more social. I am unable to open conversations with strangers. I need to learn that.

So far, even though I have tried, I haven’t been able to do either. Oh, there’s another thing that I have realized. If you run a coworking place, or a cafe, or something of that sort, you become a people magnet. You become someone that people come to (and not the other way around). I mean people come to your facility to make a transaction and that allows you to chat with them, pick their brains. Talk to them. Know more from them. Etc etc. Especially at a place like Goa. There are so many interesting people. If you did something that attracted them to your business, imagine the kind of conversations you can have! This is what probably has attracted me to do things like TRS, PPP and more. The ability to attract conversations with interesting people!

The trouble is, I can’t do anything that doesn’t scale. So this cafe, coworking, etc. is not what I want to work on. I mean there is WeWork, 91Springboard, Awfis and so many more that have scaled in India. But they are not businesses that create “impact”. I have to create an impact with my work, even if it’s an indirect impact. I mean look at Uber. That is impact. Millions of drivers get to earn better. Millions of people get to commute better. And you make money. That!

Oh, just occurred to me. I have always been a big advocate of living at a place that has all the action. You want to be a techie – live in Bangalore. Make films – live in Mumbai. Get fit – live next to a gym. I am very sure that even with COVID and WFH and other such things, these “power centers”, these “hubs” will not get displaced. At least not in India where the value of human life is not as much. So, if I want to remain independent and push the envelope on things, I have to be a hub. Unless I can create a hub at Goa if I choose Goa. Or unless I can become such a big people magnet that wherever I go, I am the hub. I mean, look at Karan Johar for example. He can choose to move to Goa or Timbuctoo and the entire film fraternity would move there. Look at all the startups and VCs moving to Miami. I have to think about creating a start-up ecosystem in Goa, btw. Or a film’s ecosystem. Let’s see.

Chalo this is it for the time being.

I need to pack my bag, clean the house and fuck off from here.

And of course, there’s a lot of work to be done today. No, no #freewriting today either. I am being tardy with it. Need to pull socks and get going with it.

Over and out.

040221 – Morning Pages

A page-full of self-talk, random updates and nothing special to report per se. Avoid if you want to.

7:28. Feel ok. Not too happy. Not too sad. Not too. confused. Not too content. One of those states where I am just being. Which is a good thing. Contentment is nice. For whatever it is worth.

And I have nothing to write about. Lol.

Really. I can’t think of a single thing to write about. Fuck fuck fuck. Lemme try. I am sitting outside Rajesh Sir’s house. Listening to Berklee’s rendition of Kun Faya Kun. Have some 25 tabs open. On the new M1. Tethered to the Vodafone connection that is surprisingly working today. The Jio Phone is not. Lol. The mysteries of the Internet and mobile phones in Goa. Reminds me I have an important call. And in Goa, that is giving me jitters. What if the Internet decides to stop working at the last minute? Lol. When did I become the kind to think so much about work? Managed a fast yesterday. The last thing I ate was at 3 AM or so yesterday (not today) before I went to sleep. So as we speak, I haven’t had a thing for more than 24 hours now. Except litres of water and more liters of lemonade. And chewing gum. I think a chewing gum is the secret ingredient you need to fast for long hours. I had told myself that I would fast for 48 hours. Let’s see if I can manage today without eating. If I can, I will gun for 72. And then 96. Kunal has challenged me to fast for 7 days. My longest has been 50 something, if I am not wrong. I tend to forget these things. Lol, king of wishful thinking I am.

Ok. What else?

I cant still think what to write.

Mumbai vs Goa? Work? Relationships?

Lemme take a stab at each. In reverse order.

Relationships – nothing home to write about. Lesser spoken the better. Like I said a few days ago, I miss the physical proximity of people that I care for (which is like 2 people and I know they don’t want me around – I mean they want me but not all the time). So, that.

Work – I seem to be un-hireable. Which is a good thing. I mean I am tempted to live an easy life with a packed calendar, fat salary and PF and company laptops and petty politics and flings with people you work with and year-end bonuses and all that. With all these, you have an option of those foreign travels, fancy cars, lavish buffets, designer clothes, and whatnot.

Mumbai vs Goa – I remain undecided. I like it here in Goa. But I miss the predictability of Mumbai. I love the opportunities that a large city like Mumbai offers for creating a large business that can have a global reach and can impact billions. And I crave connections with creative people in Goa that no other place has. This is the first time I am thinking this hard about such decisions. I think when I moved to Mumbai in 2013 (or was it 14?), I just one day announced that I am going. I slept on the floor of Satya’s bedroom and then eventually took a house. Life was easy, simple. But then I was 6 years younger. I had the time to do whatever I wanted to. People respected my ideas. I probably had some money to get thru tough times. Not any more. I am older, poorer, behind the times. I…

Wait!

Remember life’a a game?

Lemme play this game and piece together a solution. WTF! I can not be in this limbo.

Wait and watch.

Bas ho gaya.

There’s no #freewriting for #book2 today. Rather, I will use the time to work on SoG on playing the game (subscribe here). And the Goa working guide that I have been working on for 2 months. I Will ship both today and update links here.

Let’s fucking start.

Shipping.

Enough.

PS: Wrote these sidenotes (things that popped into my head as I wrote this piece). I can’t seem to fit these anywhere in the narrative and thus keeping them here. Yeah, it fucks the reading experience for you. But then these are my morning pages. These are what I need to save and think on and act on and all that. So ignore if you have to.

  1. I need to accept that I am a failure – a public one at that (lol, even in this, am trying to sound like Steve Jobs! What a loser you are, Mr. G.)
  2. I need to choose between a start-up that reaches a billion, films that reach millions, writing that reaches thousands, etc.
  3. I need to start happening to things (and not let things happen to me). It’s funny that I give this advice to everyone around me and often fall prey to this.

030221 – Morning Pages

Radical idea today. What if I sold a financial stake in my future? To manage my today. Would you buy? Would you “invest”?

0711. Woke up about 3 minutes ago. Eyes can’t even focus as I type this! Was up till 2:30. Had some work and thanks to McD, I had a place to sit and work out of. Of course, there was no Internet but that’s ok. I managed. So when I was coming back from McD (and a subsequent meeting with a friend) at 2 something, I realized I love roads at night. I have said this multiple times in the past but yesterday it was like written on a well-lit hoarding in big bold fonts. Must do something about that! Thing is, when in Mumbai, while I often thought about it, I couldn’t think too much about it. Life was always rushing around me. Or if it wasn’t, I was rushing around. There was no opportunity to take a pause, take a break and soak the scenery in. Here, the entire scenery is a break. And why would it not be? There is hardly any phone connections. Or internet availability ;P No no, digs apart, there is some charm in living in a small city.

Oh, Goa is reporting fantastic weather and thinning crowds. In case you want to make a trip, this is the time.

Moving on. Yesterday was a big day for the world we live in. Jeff Bezos decided to step down from running Amazon on a day to day basis. Wow! End of an era. I can’t wait for people to write (and me to read) as those pieces will start to trickle in. After Steve Jobs, Jeff has been a constant source of content, inspiration, awe, fear, respect, etc. Let’s see what reports come in.

The other big thing that happened yesterday was Rihanna (the American pop-star who I just know for this track with Eminem) spoke about the ongoing Farmer’s protest. It sucks and it’s our collective shame that the world is seeing what has become of India. Hopefully, that’d put some pressure on the government here. Maybe some sense would prevail and actions would be unturned. I hope our Indian “stars” grow some balls as well and do more than just welcoming the next Kapoor on insta.

So, I was to decide by EOD yesterday about where I wanted to live. And no, I haven’t been able to decide. I even ran a blind poll to see what “destiny” told me. Option 1 was Mumbai and 2 was Goa. Lol. The thing is, I’d love to be in Goa long-term but I can’t seem to figure out my work situation. It just sucks that life is dictated by what you’d work on. Whereas it should be the other way around.

I will give myself another day today to figure out things. I know I know, I have been delaying for no reason. But I can’t help it. I just can’t seem to think on this. Do I just toss a coin and figure what destiny has in store for me? Do I continue to drift and let life dictate terms? Arrrghh… such helplessness 🙁

Oh, I do have a radical idea that I have been thinking for a while. And yesterday on one of our calls Akshay pointed out as well. How about I sell shares in myself? You know, I am the “company” that people put money in (like they invest in stocks) and I promise a certain dividend each year (depending on my income of that year) and like other stocks, they can sell these shares.

While this sounds like an interesting idea, I am not sure if it’s workable. There are some inherent issues with this. To start with, this would be a super risky asset class (may be more volatile than BTC) but could also deliver better ROI than anything else. There is a big big risk of investment going to zero (what if I die?). Then there is performance risk (what’s the guarantee that I would make enough to fund all my side projects and yet return this money?). Plus the biggest of them all. If someone gave me a crore today, I wouldn’t know what to do with it! I mean there’s no singular idea that I have that can take all my energy and that allows me to scale things! I know that I’d never run away with anyone’s money. Or trust. I know that I’d be honest. But I don’t know when would I start to give out dividends. So that. I remember, in one of SoG’s I asked my readers if they’d support me by paying just 100 bucks, and not one person (except some comment from JKB) replied. And here I am, hoping to sell shares. Lol. Wishful thinking!

Anyhow, on with the day. I’ve been eating crap last few days. I’d try to gun for a 48-hour fast, starting now. So, the next meal is Friday morning. Let’s see how it goes. Maybe i’ll not eat till the time I know where I want to be. Wait. What about I spend a few days in Mumbai (I need to be there anyway on the 14th to meet Shravan, and on the 16th to attend Rajesh’s wedding) and see if I can create more work opportunities for myself! May be. Let’s see.

Oh, I have to note that I got rejected from a place that I had applied to. Which is ok. Not that I expected to get thru, it was out of my league. Probably need to start documenting all these rejections!

That’ about it I guess. Oh, I have a large project to work on today. I have decided that I need to be out there. I will start putting my face, at least on video (if not on photos). And to help me get going, AA has asked me to make 5 videos of 10 mins each by EoD today. Each video has to be of specific interest to people. So let’s see what I cook up. I will share links, if I get around to do it.

Apart from this have a few other things lined up. One of them is to activate this WA group (broadcast only) where I plan to share tips on better writing. Let’s see how that goes. In case you wish to join it, here.

Guess this is it. Time for #freewriting on #book2.

“We did not have these computers and phones and other fancy devices back then. We had to rely on our instincts. If we had to find information, we had to manipulate a gullible farmer and ask him about the temple. Then we’d stake it out for days. Unlike now, we did not have hotels per se. We had dharamshalas, serais and even them temples themselves. It was very normal to use these temples as resting places while you were on a journey. There was always a roof on your head and there was always food. There’s nothing else a traveler needed. And oh boy, did we use those temples.” Raunak let out a hearty laugh.

Chintan was more than intrigued. He was hooked. He thought he was the storyteller. Here was Raunak, who had better and grander stories than Chintan could ever imagine. He had to get more from him. Maybe Raunak did hold the key to Chintan’s magnum opus. He egged on, “Incredible! For someone like you who doesn’t speak at all, how did you manage all these conversations…”

Raunak broke him mid-sentence and said, “How do you think I am managing mine with you?”

Chintan could only nod and smile at himself. He knew he had found the guru, the moral compass that he was seeking all this while. He knew Raunak was going to be an important character in his story. The story of his life. And the story that he’s been chasing from all the way to Goa from his home in Uttarakhand!

***

That’s about it.

Few words.

But this is all I have time for today. A lot to be done.

See you guys on the other side.

020221 – Morning Pages

Regular updates. Nothing special. Did #freewriting on #book2 after a few days. Totally enjoyed. Read if you can and gimme feedback.

7:57 AM. Woke up a little less groggy than yesterday. I don’t know what changed. I still ate as much crap as I ate the day before. I slept around the same time. I had the same battles with the phone and the internet as I have had in the past few days. I am still thinking about the same things. I am still not moving as much as I would want to. The human body is a funny thing.

Anyhow. Time for morning pages. I am surprised that I have written these for more than 50 days now. Without missing a day. Even on the day when I was not in the mood, I came here and wrote something. Even if I felt crappy, I ensured that I poured my heart here. I felt lonely, I wrote about it. I took a loan. I recorded it here. The pages have become a companion, dear diary of sorts.

The day yesterday was ok. Went to Clay. Did some work, did some non-work things. I loved hanging out in the middle of so many people that are doing their own thing and are generally interesting to talk to. I love the place! If only my mobile phone worked better :D.

In fact, I must copy-paste their model when I get around to creating a physical space where I want creatives to hang out! I mean I can copy the model easily. The challenge would be to create a vibe. That takes more effort. Anyone can put some chairs and tables and an Internet connection. The sauce is how you run it, how you get people to bind into a community. How you ensure that they feel the same for you as you feel for them. For me, this community of people, the camaraderie between that community, the feeling of belonging, the safety in the group, the shoulders to stand on is the thing that makes life worth living. Let’s see when that happens.

I need to decide on where to live. Come hell or high-water, I will take a call by EOD. It is important that I do so. Like I keep saying, I need to happen to things, rather than things happening to me. The decision essentially depends on the work situation. There are a few things that I can do in Goa but the size of opportunity here may not be enough to feed all the expenses that I have. Of course, life here is better (no pants, no traffic, everything accessible etc) but I do miss the action of a large city.

Wait.

Can I create a life like that in Mumbai? You know, get a place, do it up, create a vibe like Clay, serve food like Nicky’s, attract creative people do bind into a community? In Aaram Nagar or something. Of course, the costs are like 5X to do something like that and competition is like 10X there (with all the Starbucks, Blue Tokais, and others) but I am told a lot of things are now available for cheaper.

That’s the other thing. I was trying to explain something to Mudit yesterday when I realized that I have forgotten the names of the landmarks in Mumbai! In the para above, it took me 5 minutes to come up with the name of Blue Tokai! Guess I am growing old. Anyhow.

So today’s one of those days when I feel I have a lot to write about, a lot to think about but I don’t know how to write. The thoughts are all over the place. I am unable to make them in a coherent narrative. But then I still am trying. Arrghh.. Frustrating it is.

Guess, a writer’s block?

Dont know.

But then Kunal told me yesterday that these morning pages, in the way I do (daily journalish, self-talk, pouring of thoughts etc) is apparently a great mental-health hack. And since I anyway write in public, I am not scared if these are “leaked” someday. Lol!

Chalo that’s about it.

On to #freewriting for #book2. Oh, today’s prompt is something that I think I saw in my dreams last night. Not kidding. I now have faint recollections of what I saw but I did see the scene play in my dream. Let’s see how it comes out on paper. Here we go…

ABC and his flunkies settled into probably what was the most uncomfortable spot at Caravan Serai. He took the long bench, the flunkies fanned out around him. Udita spotted them and knew there was trouble. Even though she was alone this afternoon, she was not the one to get perturbed. She walked up to the group with a bunch of menu cards. She showed her irreverence by slapping the menu cards on the table in between the group. The smack made by the plastic menu cards killed the chatter in the group. The boss looked up from his phone. He realized what had happened. He remained indifferent and went back to his phone. Meanwhile, Udita did not wait for them to place an order and walked back at a leisurely pace. These guys were not used to this open display of insubordination. As it often happens in such herds, when faced with uncertainty, you look up to the alpha. Everyone looked at the boss for what to do next. He was still buried in his phone and the scene had actually escaped him. The uncomfortable silence started to escalate. Someone had to break it. One of the enthu flunkies that wanted to make his way up in the foodchain stood up and yelled at Udita, “aye bitch, bring your tiny ass here. Don’t you know who we are with?”

At this, the boss looked up. The eyes remained calm. So did his body language. He looked so composed that you could’ve imagined him to be in a temple. He was as indifferent as he could be. He merely looked on for an instant and went back to his phone. He rested the phone against the small vase on the table. The vase had a money plant curled up in it and it was just the right size to act as a makeshift stand for a phone.

Udita shot back, “what did you call me?”

The flunky was clearly not used to the insubordination. “Bitch. I called you a bitch. And you are one.”

Udita was anyway worked up to see ABC at Caravan Serai. Now this flunky and the language he used had enraged her even more. She stomped to the table, shovelled another man away who was sitting between her and the flunky, held him by his tee-shirt. The guy was easily a foot taller. She looked him into his eyes and asked again. “What did you call me?”

The flunky was lost. He hadnt been attacked like that. Singled out. Especially with his boss around. And by a tiny woman. And he had higher ambitions. He did not know what to do. The boss continued to watch on with his stoic eyes.

“Tell me, you bastard”, Udita raged on.

The flunky did not have an answer. His voice was sort of clipped. Udita clenched her fists and thus his tee tighter.

“Uh”, he made some indescript noise.

One of the other flunkies tried to get up to save his friend from the apparant misery. Udita saw that from a corner of her eye. Before the guy could stand fully erect, she pushed at his chair that sent him toppling back with a thud.

It was clearly out of hands now. The boss thundered, “stop it!”

He continued, “apologies to the young lady”

The flunky found some strength when he saw his boss intervene. But all of it was lost when he comprehended what he heard. He was being asked to apologize. Weren’t they ABC’s gang? Where they routinely roughed up people for things smaller than this. If someone had done this at some other place, at some other time, he was sure that the boss would have literally killed the guy! And this was a girl. A waitress at some random bar.

“ABC Sir?”, he was still confused.

ABC repeated. The calmness was back, “I said apologise to the young woman.”

Udita was confused herself. The stories she had heard about ABC were anything but this. He was being polite. And he was taking the right side, even though Udita was the one to have attacked. She left the collar and took a step back. She folded her hands in front of her chest, like you would do when you sensed danger.

“How can I? The bitch was out of her place. She disrespected you.” The flunky tried to make his case.

The boss merely shook his head. With the agility of a table tennis player, he picked up the vase in a shift motion and smashed it against the head of flunky. The glass shattered on his forehead and sent tiny pieces, water and even the remnants of the money plant around him. There was this messy puddle of hair, skin, glass, leaves and blood on his forehead. Some blood was his. Some was ABC’s. He had cut his hand in the process.

The flunky stumbled back, tried to support himself on a chair. He leaned on it with one hand and tried to hold his head with the other. ABC however was not done. He pounced on the flunky and sent him sprawling on the floor. He sat on his chest. Held his tee, from the same place Udita had held him and said, “next time I tell you to do something, you will listen to me. Ok?”

The flunky could merely nod.

“I did not hear you” ABC growled.

“Yes, yes, ABC. I will. I am sorry”. He said with whatever strength he could muster.

“Good boy. Now, say sorry to the young lady. And you better clean all the mess that you have created here”. ABC instructed him.

“Yes…”, the flunky could come up with just a word.

The gang was in a state of shock. They knew of ABC and his quirks. They knew it was best if they stayed shut.

ABC turned to Udita. “What’s your name ma’am? I am sorry for this boy’s behaviour. He is new and does not know how to speak to people.” He wiped his hand on his white shirt, leaving it crumped and stained.

Udita managed, “it’s alright. I am Udita. I manage the place when Mrs. Gomes is not here.”

“Ah. I have seen you here but did not know that she trusts you with the place. Whatever I know of her, she is tough to please”. ABC was back to his clam self and was now small-talking with Udita as if they were in a club.

Udita was not sure how to react. She looked around. There was this guy on the floor who was bleeding. There was this guy who was indifferent despite the scene he had created. There were other burly men who were as confused as Udita was.

ABC sensed the confusion. “Oh, dont worry about him. He’s a strong boy. He would be back in action by tomorrow. He’d help you clean the place now. Just get him some water, if that’s not too inconvinient?”

***

That’s it! I loved writing today’s piece! Yay! Need to have more such days 🙂 If you read this, do gimme feedback. Of course, haven’t fixed typos, edited, or checked for sanity.

Till next time!

010221 – Morning Pages

Woke up tired as if I was a 90-year old. Couldn’t think of what to write. So, this one is more rant than anything nice or deep.

8:05

I woke up at 7:55 and I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. There is no energy in the body and the eyes are groggy and I don’t know what all. The good part is that I remember a couple of dreams from last night. So that means I slept ok. But I feel tired. I don’t know what to do about it. I did stay up a couple of days ago for a project. But I was ok after that. Maybe it’s all the crap that I am eating? May be it’s the weather? May be it’s something in the head? If nothing else, I probably need to start working out? I don’t know 🙁

I am so groggy that I cant even think straight, leave alone getting work done. Or putting my thoughts on paper.

Wait, Mr. Garg. This is a game. And your power is down. You need to get a power-up. What could that be? Music? Food? Sleep? Sunshine? Workout? Hugs? May be I am groggy cos I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday? Is that a punishment that my body is giving me?

Lemme think.

Ok, a few things are clear. I need to fix the food thingy for sure. Matlab, I need to not eat. Eat less, if nothing else. And if I eat, OMAD. And fewer carbs. This should be standard.

I then need to fix the office situation. Half my ideas and thoughts and work suffer because I don’t have a “desk” per se to work on. This is contingent on the place I will live at. I still need to close on Mumbai vs Goa and then an office desk. I had decided that I would have a decision by end of January. And no, I don’t have it. There is hardly any work that you can create from Goa. You need to rely on work that can be done remote. The Internet situation can be fixed. Getting work however is a pain. I’ve struggled with that in the past. And that I think is literally impossible remotely.

I need to get into some sort of a workout routine. Lol. I remember I have been hoping to have one since I was 22. I probably need to admit that I can’t do this! No, I can’t do an online session. I have to have a physical, in-person thingy. Remember what I wrote yesterday? Reminds me. Years back, I would go all the way from Powai to Bandra to attend a 45-minute Yoga glass with Shameem Maam. I think those were the fittest days of life. May be, get back to Yoga? If I do decide to live for long in Goa, I will probably move to some secluded part and start a cafe there 😀

Lol. Dreams.

So yeah. These three.

Funny how when you have a stable life, with money coming in, you think of grandiose plans of changing the world. And when the going gets tough, all you think of is the basics – roti, kapda, makaan.

Anyhow. So need to fix those three.

Moving on. The other day Vivek shared this Twitter thread about some athlete that just went missing and ended up at a beach. I think I should do the same. Delete all my social media profiles, websites, accounts, etc. And go poof in thin air. And do what? I don’t know. Yet.

I’ve often thought if there was a reset button in life, that if pressed sort of took you back in time and undo all the things you have done. You can then live your life again, but since you’ve retained lessons from the life that you’ve already lived, you can avoid mistakes.

That’s about it I guess. Need to get going. Have a few things to work on today.

But before that, here’s a thing that I’ve been tripping on. A guy called Punit Pania. He doesn’t make me laugh per se but his insights are spot on. Look at this one for example. Such insight into being Indians! I think that’s a great place to be in life. The ability to see through stupidity, idiosyncrasies, opinions, and actions of people and then comment on those and then present those in a way that people can relate to and laugh at is a great great skill to have. I wish I had that. I have a few friends that are that and I can see the amount of effort you need to do even a fraction of that is tough af! Lol, yet another skill that I wish I had!

And before I go, the track of the day is this one from a film called Saathiya…

O Humdum Suniyo Re – Saathiya

Oh, and, Day 3 on the trot when I am not writing about book2. I’ve not lost the motivation per se, I do have the ideas as well. I am just being lazy. Let’s see if I can fix this tomorrow. Or during the day.

With that, over and out.

310121 – Morning Pages

More of a journal on how I spent the day yesterday than anything else. Read if you want to. Skip if you may.

10:37. I am up since 7. I slept at 330 something. And this is not the first thing I am doing. Plus, this is not what I had planned for today (yesterday I thought that today I would write about only #book2 and nothing else, but I am not). Which is ok. Idea is to dump my thoughts in public. Plus, I wrote these notes on my phone last night and I am merely editing. Plus, I haven’t brushed my teeth. TMI? Lol!

With these few disclaimers, here we go!

So yesterday was special. And nice. I was part of the session that we at Podium did to get some startups to meet Dr. Malpani. We had a cracker of a time and I learned so so much. Here are my notes…

via @saurabh

I have to mention the great folks at Design Centre – not just they have the best Internet anywhere in Goa (the parts to where I have been), they are incredibly kind as well. They are normally shut on Saturdays but at my request, they kept space opened. I am so grateful for the kindness of strangers. Need more people like that.

Another example of kindness yesterday was when I spoke to Sheba. Sheba is a life coach, a busy one at that and yet she took out time to chat with me about things clouding my head. I can’t say I found answers but it’s uncanny that she pointed out the exact same thing that I felt stifled for. Movement. I even wrote about it a few days ago (point 5). More on it some other day (once I have processed all that Sheba and I talked about). Someone has to remind me 😀

Finally, I paid the salaries of my team. I was late by a day (I try and pay on the last working day of each month) but I did pay within the month. Had to take on another tranche of loan. But that’s ok. This is the last month I am doing so. If I dont get anything substantial, I will get a naukri. Whatever it pays me.

So that’s that.

Apart from these two few sparks, yesterday was kind of disappointing. I was supposed to fast for 48 hours. I lasted all of 25. While 25 in itself may sound like a large number, the thing is, I can do 24 easily. Without breaking a sweat. And thus, to make the task worth investing time and effort into, I had decided on a 48-hour one. But I could not.

I can blame it on all the work I needed to do and all the stress that made me break it. But come on. I am better than that. Remember Marshmallows? To make it worse, I ate at the McD. But then that was the only place where I could sit with a computer for a while and get some work done (remember I was up till 330?). Of course, I could’ve worked from Rajesh sir’s place but I need some action around me when I work. I need people, movement, activity, non-descript chatter, and all that. I need a public place. I can’t work from home. Even if I have the fanciest home in the world!

Lemme tell you another story.

When they eventually shut at 3 and I was on my way back, I passed by this road-side thela selling Maggi. On some random hunch, I took a U-turn. Asked the old man and the woman (she looked like his wife) manning the thela to make me an anda-Maggi. Nah, it was nothing to write home about, to be honest, but while I waited for them to prepare my order, a few things dawned onto me. Lemme try to articulate those.

The poverty and contentment. The anda-Maggi cost me 80 bucks. Their direct input cost is at least 30 (Maggi + Eggs), just for the raw material. Then there is consumables (salt, pepper, gas etc), regular expenses (packing material, water, electricity etc), capital investment (the thela, pans, pots, spatula, etc), and of course miscellaneous expenses (bribes, cartage, etc). I am not even talking about the money that they’d charge for their time. I am not sure if what they run is a profitable business. But the two of them looked in peace in the company of each other. They were smiling at some inside jokes, gossiping about what I am assuming are other local fixtures, and of course, trying their best at my order. They were content in their poverty (I am assuming, of course).

The company is the reward. For them, it looked like that all that mattered was the company of each other. And the order they were working on. And that’s that. They did not seem perturbed by the farmer’s protest, COVID-19 crisis, drunks falling over each other on the main road where their thela is, the latest Kapoor to have got onto Insta or ever what day it was. Compare to me. I have so much happening in my life that I don’t even know where to start the list from.

The love, camaraderie, togetherness. I loved their camraderie. Their togetherness. Their compassionable silence. I hope they stay like that forever.

Oh, they made an epiphany happen. They made me realize something about myself (something that I probably knew deep down but never admitted). That I crave for company. I may be the biggest introvert and I may be trying to live in public but I need company. And I need physical intimacy. No, I am not talking about sex per se. I want to be able to hug others. Touch them. Feel their handshakes. Smell them. See their frailty, ogle at their smiles, pull their legs. In real life. All this. And more. With my people. Not with strangers. Not with those one-night stands. Not with acquaintances. Not with all the random junta that I know. Even though I want to know everyone and their nani-nana and dadi-dada. I have to be physically around my people. And I am anything but that. My parents are in Delhi. SG2 is like saat samandar paar. We as a family are anyway not really touchy-feely. M&m are all grown up now and have started to find other people that they find cooler. The lesser I say about my love life, the better it is. Most friends that I want to hang out with seem to have become richer and cooler to continue to hang out with (no they don’t discriminate per se but their choices in life when they want to hang out? You know, places to eat at, places to travel, kind of activities they want to do? I can’t afford those. Neither do I understand them). So that. The ones that I can still access seem so ignorant to what’s happening around us (the world at large) that I cant seem to hold conversations with them.

So, I crave for company. For the reader – this is NOT a cry for help or for showering me with unwarranted attention. This is merely my thoughts. I may or may not want to act on these.

May be this is what growing old is all about? When parents told me that you’d start needing people when you are old, may be this is it? Guess so.

Also, being in Goa is not helping matters either. People are nice but they are not my people. And I take time before someone becomes my people. Plus the recent incident at the podcast has sort of shook my value system when it comes to adding people in my life.

Nah, if I were in Delhi or Mumbai, I don’t think I could help matters either. It’s a battle that I need to fight and tide over. Maybe I need to borrow Sheldon’s playbook where even the coitus with his girlfriend / wife was planned via a relationship agreement!

As I write this, I realise that most times I dont feel this need of company. There’s enough and more work that doesnt allow me to even breathe, leave alone feel lonely. Plus the never-ending search for Internet is Goa makes even work an adventure. Yesterday, if not for that old couple, I’ll try to click a picture of them, I probably wouldn’t stare at the moon and the empty road and think of all these things!

Phew! That was heavy!

So here’s something cool. My new favorite track? This.

A mashup between Shaggy and Sting. Love the groove of the track. Would love to write a track like that. Damn, there are so many things that I want to work on. To write on. On life!

So yeah.

This is it for the day.

No, no book2 today either. Too grumpy, too stuffed in the head to do anything. Guess it’s the lack of sleep and lack of movement and lack of intimacy. Lol!

300121 – Morning Pages

I talk about some large decision I am hoping to make with life and all in the next few days. Long rant. Read at peril.

7:02

I’ve been up for a bit. Have a lot on my mind. Have a lot to do as well. Lemme start writing and see where we go.

So, yesterday was big. I took another debt. To make ends meet. To pay a handful of young people that work with me. To keep the lights on at those projects that I hope someday would become large beacons of great work. And on the other side, one of those projects is putting three startups in front of an investor, for a shot at investments. Ironical? Nah. By design? Nah. Poetic? Yes, I guess.

I mean here I am. Taking a loan to run those pieces and using those as vehicles to make others rich, famous, and better known. All in hopes that someday they would be big enough that they would start paying me back. You know, delayed gratification. The Marshmallow Experiment. Hoping to let go of the fun and comfort and joy of today. To hopefully enjoy it tomorrow. What if there’s no tomorrow? Damn!

Anyhow. So the large decision is that if I am forced to take another loan at the end of Feb, I would give up on this staying independent thingy and warp up everything that I am personally working on and take the first Naukri that comes my way, even if it pays me shit. As a vocal advocate of self-employment and not letting someone else command your time, I will bite the dist and stop advocating independence. I will stop virtue signaling. I will relook at the way I live life and the pseudo-krantikaari thoughts that I have. I poker parlance, I’d fold.

Talking of kranti, I am a tad more well-read about the farmer’s protest now. I spend a large part of yesterday reading about it. Of course, I read opinion pieces and perspectives of people from both sides – farmers and government. And I am now leaning towards the farmers. No, I am not saying that the new farm laws need to be repelled (I am still reading about those laws) but I have come to a conclusion that the way the government is handling the issue? That is not right.

I saw this video where Yogendra Yadav is literally in tears as he talks about how the movement was derailed. And I sympathize with him. He and other farmer leaders have called for a one-day fast and I support them. In solidarity, I will keep a fast as well.

Of course, this is a symbolic gesture and amounts to nothing. Armchair activism. Tokenism. But that’s the least I can do. And since I had this huge-ass Vegetarian Thali at 11:30 last night, I will fast both today and tomorrow. Penance. For my unawareness of the issue. Let’s see if I hold up.

I also saw this video yesterday, thanks to Parijat. The comedian, Punit Punia talks about how the middle-class is anything but that. There’s a part of about 30 seconds that leaves you dumb-founded and sucks the air out of your gut. Do see it. It’s just sickening the way we are.

Here it is. Do NOT miss it. Please. Lemme know how you feel after you’ve seen it.

I also had this longish chat with SG2 yesterday about life and all that. She asked me if I’ve seen my confidence go down in the last 2 or so years. I had to think hard and I don’t know the answer. I feel as if my confidence levels have remained the same but my self-image has probably taken a dent. Lemme explain (this is exactly how I explained to her :D).

So even though I am staring down a barrel, I am fairly confident that I will get acche din at some point in time in life. You know, this too shall pass. This means I will have all that I seek – impact, wealth, access, etc. At some point. SG2 dismissed this as optimism. I think this is confidence in my abilities to get things done and open doors and create opportunities etc. She doesn’t agree.

However, I know that I am no longer confident about myself. You know, self-image. That I think has taken a hit. A large one. Like this…

BOOM!

What do I mean by this? Simple.

I feel know that I have spent 40 years here and I have yet to do anything that will make people take a note. Fuck people. I’d not take a note of what I’ve done. If I walked upto myself and talked about all that I’ve done, I’d shoo myself away. Like you ignore those unwanted creatures that sort of hold you from doing things that you want to be doing.

I need validation. From myself. From sgMS (am surprised that I thought of her, more on this later). From the world. In terms that they understand (thanks SG2 for helping me articulate). Here are the terms for the three cohorts that I spoke about…

  • The world believes that you are great if you have a fancy house, luxury car, 2 kids, and a 7-figure salary. If you have some awards and accolades, the world gives you more credit, more validation, more respect.
  • sgMS evaluated the worth of a person from some internal metric that I have not been able to figure to date.
  • For me, I’d be happy if I see the impact of my work (it’s zilch right now) and the doors that my work, my brand, my reputation opens for me. Right now, them doors shut on my face!

I have none of these three right now. The most important is validation from self (the kinds that helps you with your self-image). And I lack that. In its absence, I could rely on signals that I could project at others about me having arrived. Even that is missing. I know so many people that are crappy, average Joes (and Janes) that are able to get by purely because they have fat salaries, lofty designations, and all those things that the world uses to validate your existence.

Lemme get back to sgMS. So she and I were sort of together long long ago. We’ve since then drifted and are great friends. She is still the keeper of my moral compass. If I need to make a decision that would border on ethics and all that, I would go to either Vanita, Hemant, or her. She continues to be that important.

I think my self-images issues go back to sgMS. Really. I have never admitted this ever in my life. But she was one of those hyper-critical people with super-strong perspectives and opinions and misguided views on people, things, heroes, and all that. At the time, I was blind in love and did not realize but now that I can think a tad better, I know that being with her sort of dented the way I thought about things. Of course, all the ambition I have was probably fuelled by spending time with her. If not for her, I would be more content. I got the push to do more because she saw that I was capable and she was like Terence Fletcher (of Whiplash fame) and she would not settle for anything ordinary.

I can trackback even more and go to a time when I was growing up in a lower-middle-class part of Delhi. Because the ‘nurture’ I was getting was sort of ‘limiting’, I think I was programmed to believe that the good things are not for me. See the Punit Pania clip above. When I had to go to a 5-star hotel for the first time by myself (I think in 2007 and I was 25) for an interview, I had to prepare myself mentally and I had to check if people like me were even allowed in there! May be this dented my self-image issues.

Ok, I digressed a lot. Good thing is that no one is reading. The point anyhow was that I think my self-image has taken a hit. And I need to find a way out.

The last thing I was to put on paper, in continuation with this topic is the thing about being eccentric and a fool. For some reason, in my head, I attribute this to SRK, though I can’t find the source.

So, he says if you have perspectives, ideas, thoughts, and actions that are counter-intuitive to people, are opposite to commonly held beliefs, people would take note.

And if you are poor, you are insignificant, you haven’t “achieved” anything, they would call you a fool for your ideas. Even, a mad man. An outcast. An anomaly. However, if you are “successful”, rich et al, they would call you eccentric!

The road from a fool to an eccentric needs you to have a fancy Rolls Tesla to drive on top of. Till you get one, stay shut. #note2self, Mr. Garg. If you want to tweet like Elon and impact the BTC price just by changing your bio, you need to be Elon in the first place. Or you can keep changing bio for the rest of your life and probably get banned from twitter.

Chalo. Over and out.

Oh, no time for freewriting today. Missed it the second time in recent days. Must not do it tomorrow. Or may be I will only write #book2 on the morning pages? Let’s see.